Ashen Minds
by Gnomestick
Summary: Rey starts her journey seeking the guidance of the last known living Jedi, but as always her plans come to an abrupt end. Kylo Ren also seeks something from Skywalker. But is it what we think it is?
1. Chapter 1: Crash

**I am not a native** **E** **nglish speaker, but I'll try my best, to avoid spelling and grammar errors. If you find any mistakes, or have the feeling, I could rewrite a sentence, so it can be read more fluently, leave me a comment.  
Of course I don't own anything about ****S** **tar** **W** **ars, it's just my imagination running wild.**

 **We will start the story right after Rey** **fought in the woods with Kylo Ren and is making her way to Luke Skywalker, after R2D2 revealed the missing part of the map. But in this version, she starts the mission alone without Chewbacca.**

* * *

Rey placed her feet on the control panel and yawned. She didn't wear any shoes and wiggled her toes while stretching. Her body yearned for some kind of movement.  
She already flew across the galaxy for about – she looked at the clock on the top left corner - „Twelve hours? … Uuugh." She sighed.  
 _I gotta do something, just sitting around drives me nuts!_

So she jumped up, and walked around the spaceship. It was a pretty small one, not much bigger than an X-Fighter, also not as fast or as well equipped with weapons,  
as the other spaceships from the resistance. But this one was for long-range travelling not for fighting.  
She felt her feet getting cold on the metal floor. So she went to her bag, rummaging through her things, searching for her shoes. Whilst putting some portions aside,  
she brushed her fingertips against a metallic thing, which she slowly pulled out of her bag.

Lukes lightsaber.

She will hand it to him, once she reaches Ahch-To. Will he accept it? How will he react to her? Does he even know about Han's death? Shall she explain him first, how she obtained his saber? Will he train her at all? She turned the saber around in her hands, fingers wandering alongside the smooth metallic structure of the hilt. Her guts started to tingle while thinking about these questions and his possible reactions. She wouldn't say she's scared, but she is nervous as fuck. She carefully put the saber back and pulled out her shoes. Sitting on the floor, she slowly put them on, still thinking about how the situation on Ahch-To will play out.

After being done, the controls started beeping rapidly, then she felt a strong jolt going through the ship. Being able to see the stars coming to a halt outside, she knew the ship jumped out of hyperspace. She immediately leapt up, rushing to the control panel, looking at the radar, she spotted two other spaceships following right behind her, approaching at a really fast pace. At first she thought them being first order ships, but she couldn't make out any emblems on them, so whilst throwing herself into the pilot seat, she radioed the two ships to back off. They didn't answer. She sent the signal again. No answer.

They still approached and placed themselves on both sides of her spaceship. Alarmed she grabbed the control column with one hand, the joystick for the firing weapon in the other hand. Sweat was collecting on her forehead as she focused on the two ships, whilst searching the radar for nearby planets, or at least meteorite fields, where she could try to lose them. But there weren't any nearby.  
„Shit" she said out loud, she has to fight them with finesse.  
This ship is not fitted to fight, or even outrun two other spaceships, it's merely used for transportation.  
Just as she wanted to take action, the spaceship to her right blasted its laser cannon in her direction. Luckily she saw the movement of the canon beforehand and was able to avoid it. The right ship also started shooting. It felt like a wild ride, her spaceship moving up and down, taking turns, doing loopings, trying to surprise the other pilots by flying over their head. But the attackers were a well-practised team and it didn't feel like they did this attack the first time. Her ship already took some pretty hard blows,  
but she kept fighting. Feeling nausea coming up, from flying so jolty, she couldn't afford to not be concentrated. She tried to focus her mind on the other ships, trying to feel their presence through the force, whilst shooting.

 **BOOM!**

With a big explosion, one of the spaceships was torn apart, leaving small parts everywhere.  
„Yes! Shit. Fuck yes!" she screamed, having a happy moment for about one-tenth of a second, then realizing there's still the other ship. Whilst focusing again, she heard another loud bang but this time it sounded very much as it was her own ship taking a hit right now. The control panel started blinking and beeping rapidly again, one screen showing her shield just switched off.  
After some seconds of colourful blinking and screeching of the electronics, everything went dark and silent. The whole ship just turned its power off. She couldn't do anything anymore.

 _Shit. That's really bad. Like really – I'm gonna die – bad_ _ish like_ _._ Or so she thought.

That's when she heard a loud thud. Then another one. Seems like the other ship docked onto her and started pulling. As everything in the ship was dark, due to the lack of control lights and monitors, she panicky started to rip open the metal walls, trying to find out how to start the engines again. After rummaging through a lot of cables and switches she saw something in her left eye vision outside of the window of her ship. It was a planet in the far distance. The ship, which abducted her seems to be flying in this direction. At least she thought so because the planet seems to be getting bigger pretty fast. She stopped from what she's done before and climbed over the pilot seat, to have a better view of the planet. Laying her hand flat on the glass of the windshield and nearly pressing her whole face against it, she examined it. It was shining brightly in an orange colour. It kind of looked like her home planet Jakku. But she knew it couldn't be because she was in an entirely other part of the universe right now. But it must be another desert planet, judging from its colour. The planet's getting bigger and bigger, they will definitely land there. She quickly went to her bag, putting it around her torso and again started fumbling with the cables in the walls, in a hopeless attempt to get the ship running again.  
When they entered the atmosphere, the ship started to bounce around. Rey had to clamp herself tightly to the pilot chair, to not getting catapulted through the entire inner space.

Through the windows, she could make out a lot of dunes and cliffs, while still flying lower and lower.

 **'Thud'** ….. **'Thud'**

She heard the mechanics which were bounding her ship to the other one, go off. For a moment she thought about being free again, but this thought vanished the moment her vessel turned downwards and straightly fell down nearing the ground at an alarming rate. She clung herself to the pilot's seat, trying to get in there buckling up fast, whilst praying to whoever was watching her right now. „Oh maker! Help me!" She cried out loud, closing her eyes, moments before the ship crashed on the ground.

Everything is dark.


	2. Chapter 2: Connection

Kylo was sitting in a conference room with General Hux and several other first order officers. They furiously discussed the weak point of the starkiller base and who to blame for its destruction. Kylo Ren felt slightly unnerved by this, he has never been someone, who was interested in the mechanics of the spaceships or super weapons the first order possessed. Trough the visor of his helmet he watched captain Phasma's silver armor. He could see the reflections of the stars outside of their spaceship, shining through the windows of their conference room. He tilted his head, whilst looking at it, the stars reflections on the armor made them kind of look like snowflakes. Whilst being deep in thought, not listening to the constant yelling of the generals he unexpectedly felt a sudden feeling of fear jumping into his mind. He was taken by surprise by this. Why the hell, did he feel fear right now? The next second, he felt a sharp pain in the back of his head. He suddenly stood up looking around not understanding what was causing all of this.

Taken back by his sudden actions, the generals simultaneously went quiet, their heads turning into his direction. Wide-eyed, they looked to the dark figure of Kylo Ren, waiting for him to destroy something or force choke someone.  
General Hux cleared his throat: "Is there a problem of some kind...Ren?" emphasizing the name Ren with reluctance dripping from his voice.  
Kylo looked into Hux direction, suddenly turning on his heel, his cape wavering after him, he went for the door. "I have matters to attend to. Do not disturb me."  
The generals and Hux looking confused at each other, Hux shaking his head, muttering something indistinctly whilst the person he hated the most left the room.  
Kylo stepped down a long corridor, rushing past some stormtroopers who jumped out of his way startled. Whilst walking he held his head, still feeling the sharp pain. He took a turn and pressed his hand against the door opener of his room. Slipping into his chamber, he yanked the mask from his face and threw it to the floor. He sat straddle-legged on his bed, holding his head in between his hands, not understanding what is going on.

 _Ok, I have to focus. It doesn't feel like my own pain, more like someone else's pain and fear. But whose?  
_ He kind of had a guess, but he had to be sure.  
 _  
_He tried to calm down by meditating, searching for the source of these sudden feelings.  
There! He saw it. Rey's terrorized face, sweat pearls on her forehead, gripping the pilot's seat with white knuckles. The next moment he saw her body crashing down and just dust and flying ship parts everywhere. Then the vision of her went dark. He just heard some beings approaching, babbling wildly to each other in another language. He instantly knew where these creatures are. It was on Koraha. He knew because it was the only planet, where they talked this language. He didn't understand it, but it was quite unmistakable. Funnily he went there once some years ago. When he had a mission to hire some headhunters. It was a bad kind of place. Poor folks everywhere mostly ruled by criminal gangs and warlords. Prostitution, slaves, child labor, everything you could dream of if you have a really dark imagination.

But what business does Rey have on this hellhole of a planet? If she actually wanted to be there at all. From the last scene of the vision he saw of her, she didn't look like she was going there in a normal kind of way. More like in a "crashing her ship down" way.  
At least he could feel her still being alive. Even if she wasn't conscious. He kind of felt relieved. _What? Relieved?_ he thought. Maybe it was because Snoke wanted her as an apprentice. Yeah, Snoke would be pretty infuriated if this promising force sensitive girl would be dead right now. He had some kind of plans for her, of which Kylo didn't exactly know of and also didn't care.  
But as he knew, the surpreme leader needing her alive, he instantly made the decision to go to the planet and get her. But this time, she won't escape again. he will make sure of it.

He hastily packed some stuff, put his mask back on and ran straight out of his room to the hangar, where he climbed into one of the spaceships, leaving the base behind him and jumping into hyperspace. He didn't take any troopers with him because if he did, he had to inform Hux about this mission, for which he really didn't have the nerve right now. He put the ship on autopilot, laying his feet on the controls pretty much the same way, Rey did, when she flew in her ship before it crashed.  
His flight will take about 6 hours, till he'll arrive. So he started meditating again, trying to sense her. _Has she woken up yet? Does she have any serious injuries?_ he wondered while trying to find her through the force.

That's when he again, felt a sudden pain. But this time in his leg. He yanked his right knee up, touching it lightly. Then the pain was gone, as fast as it came, but he started to have a vision of Rey again. She was conscious and looked into the face of three Gumpas. A humanoid looking alien with 4 arms, a little taller than humans and teeth like boars in their faces. She screamed while tears rolled down her face. They must have done something to her leg while she was thrashing around trying to free herself. They threw her against a wall and restrained her hands over her head with some handcuffs dangling from the wall behind her. It looked like she was in some sort of cave, judging from the dirty, crumbling walls behind her. He heard her scream, still wriggling around, then she was hit. Hard. Again and again, till she passed out. He actually flinched at the last blow, because it was to her head and he sensed it milliseconds before. The vision of her captivity faded at that point. Kylo leaned himself forward, feeling a bit agitated about these whole visions.

He kind of knew they had a connection since their meeting in the interrogation chamber, but he didn't expect to feel her pain, or even worse her emotions all over the galaxy. This is the worst. How the hell should he concentrate with her passing all her emotions to him? Should he babysit her, so she wouldn't get in trouble anymore, so he wouldn't feel her experiences too? _Fuck this shit!_ He shot up, angry at the now newly confirmed and much too close connection for his taste, they adopted after their last meet up.  
He paced through the ship, wanting to destroy stuff. As it was a small ship, that probably wasn't the best idea, so he just punched into the wall next to him, leaving a nice round dent beneath his fist.


	3. Chapter 3: Spinach

Rey awakened by the throbbing pain in her head. Also in her right knee, her wrists, her chest and actually pretty much every inch of her body.  
She was alone in a cave-like room, in the middle of it stood a big wooden table, some chairs and burning candles. Torches lit up the room and she could make out some more shackles and handcuffs on the other walls. It seemed like some kind of a prison room.

 _Maker! At least I'm alive! But these shitheads of creatures. They're so dead when I'm out of these cuffs! I will rip their damn heads off of their shoulders!  
_ she angrily thought, whilst flinching from her injuries. She looked down, only to see her ripped up clothes hanging loosely from her body and a little puddle of blood under her feet. Also, her right leg was awkwardly twisted downwards from her knee and a lot of bruises grazed her skin. She tried moving her handcuffs, pushing all the energy she had left into ripping them out of the wall. They didn't move an inch. _Shit._ She thought.

She doesn't have any possibility of escaping this situation right now. She had to wait for the right moment when these disgusting creatures will come back, to do whatever they are planning to do with her. Maybe her newly acquired mind trick will work on them.  
As she hung there for some hours, contemplating her escape, she suddenly heard growling and screaming in a distant room, not far from her prison.  
He head jolted up and she looked at the entrance. More screaming, objects crashing down, laser shots. _What the hell is happening? Are the creatures killing each other?  
Are they ambushed? Who else is there? _But when her imagination was running wild, with whatever is happening in the other rooms, she heard a familiar noise.

 _Sssszzzsnn. Ssssszzzzzn._ And another one. Then everything went quiet. No more screams, no more life signs from anyone.

She was hundred percent sure the sound was from a lightsaber. Maybe someone took her saber, the creatures stole from her ship and used it against them?  
She hoped that if this was the case, whoever did this would also free her from this prison. She pondered for a moment about calling out, so the person who is in the other room would hear her and maybe free her. But it could also be someone far more dangerous than these creatures.  
And with this thought, she was absolutely right. As in this moment, a dark figure stepped into the doorway of her prison room.

 _You. Gotta. Be. Kidding. Me.  
This can't be real!_

She held her breath and looked straight into the dark mask of Kylo Ren, who also looked into her direction. Blood was sprinkled over the silver parts of his helmet and his lightsaber was still powered on in his hand, hanging down, brushing the ground a bit.  
"You! What in makers name happened, so you would appear right here in this forsaken place?" She couldn't believe it.

He tilted his head a little, then walked into her direction. Kylo Ren stopped before her, saber buzzing with its electrical sound. When he positioned himself right in front of her, she could see him mustering her from nose to feet. She got angry at him for not answering, so she spits out a: "You know what? I don't care how you came here, how you found me or whatsoever. Just get it over with and kill me already or take me to your damn First Order again. I don't stand a chance anyway! Take your revenge, I won't budge this time!" looking directly into his dark mask while trying to look right into his eyes, even if she couldn't see them.

After her little outburst, fully expecting to be split into two halves from his lightsaber any moment now, he just turned his weapon off and put it on his belt.  
When he put it back, she saw her own-, or to be exact Luke's Lightsaber also dangling from his belt next to his. So he already stole it from these creatures. Of course, he wanted to own it the whole time.  
Then he surprisingly took off his helmet with a hissing sound and placed it on the table behind him. He turned around again, facing her and looked up and down her body again, taking in every injury he could see on her from this perspective. This made her slightly uncomfortable and she felt herself blushing a little bit from his stare.  
Luckily her face was covered in her own blood and some grime, so he might not have seen it.

Actually, he had seen her cheeks blush and wondered why she did so. Kylo's gaze fell on her thighs, which had red and blue bruises from which seemed like metal rods.  
He wondered what else they did to her and now also felt slightly uncomfortable. Even if she didn't matter to him, he knew what these beings on this planet are capable of and he kind of had the feeling, that whatever they did to her, or planned on doing to her, wasn't something he would like her to experience.  
"It doesn't matter how I found you. Also, I am not here to kill you." He paused for a moment. Then looked directly into her eyes, brows contracting together for he seemed slightly worried. _Kylo Ren? Worried? What is happening here?_ She thought, her brows now also knitting together, trying to make sense of this situation.  
"Did they use you?" he asked in a very serious but also uncomfortable tone, waving his gloved hand in the direction of the bruises on her legs.  
She wondered what he meant by that exactly, then looked at her thighs to where he pointed and counted one and one together. Again she blushed a bit. "No... NO! No. They did not do this...yet." she added, thinking about everything these creatures would be capable of. "I guess they just tortured me and beat my head to a bloody mess.  
They didn't take advantage of me like that."

He let out a small noise. His face getting a little softer by hearing this. _Was it a sigh? A relieved one?_

"Well. Then you certainly had luck until now, as these aliens on this planet usually sell young, good-looking woman for certain things. It's their speciality." he said in a monotone, now again kind of harsh voice.

Did he just call her a good-looking woman? She thought, not quite sure if she heard right. Kylo Ren surely is not somebody who'd compliment anyone in this galaxy.  
"Uhm. Okay, thanks. Or something. I don't know, I don't feel lucky in this whole situation right now. How do we proceed here?"

He was astounded when she used the phrase "we" but quickly made his mind about it, pondering about what to do with her in this state.  
"So. I will remove your restraints now. You are not going to attack me. I am sure you are smart enough to know that you won't stand a chance against me right now.  
Or at any other time actually. Are you able to stand on your own if I cut the cuffs down? I think your knee is broken or at least dislocated." He added while looking at her twisted leg.

She was surprised by these questions of her well being and the statement of her not being able to attack him, so she also looked down her leg, trying to move it or have at least some other feelings in it, except for pain, but she could neither move it nor feel anything else. She shook her head: "I'll try to stand, but I can't feel my leg, so I don't know if I am able to. Also, my head is still dizzy from the blow. I don't know if I have that much balance right now."

He just nodded, then pulled out his lightsaber again, igniting it, stepping forward and now stood face to face with her. She felt a ping of fear going through her veins, thinking he would slash her down anyway, but he just held up his saber and started to cut her cuffs uber careful. She looked into his face. His brows were pulled together in deep concentration on his saber and her hands, carefully not to cut her. Which seemed to be pretty hard, because of the unruly nature of his sword, small flashes of energy buzzing around the laser. They were as close as they were on Starkiller Base the last time they fought. But this time she had enough time to study his face.  
He had a new scar across his right eye, which went down to his chin. Rey knew she was the one who was responsible for it.  
It was healed but still etched deep into his pale skin making him look even more dangerous as he did before. Then she realized he was slightly biting his bottom lip while concentrating on her cuffs and his dark, hazel eyes wandered to hers when he felt her staring at him, so she instantly looked away.

 **Klonk!**  
The cuffs fell to the floor, with them Rey also slumped down, letting out a loud grunting noise, as the pain instantly shot into her body. As she had expected, her injured leg couldn't carry her weight anymore. But before she crashed on the floor, a strong grip pulled her upright again holding onto her arms. It felt most embarrassing and humiliating to be held by Kylo Ren, the guy who wanted to kill her and her friends, who murdered his father.  
"Do not touch me!" she hissed, pushing her hands into his chest, to not be this close to him. He still held her, his arms outstretched as far as possible, hers too but she couldn't reach his chest anymore as she was too small, so she let her arms just dangle down beside her torso, looking furiously into his eyes.

"I have to help you, or else you'd be crawling in your own puddle of blood right under your feet.  
I can either carry you to this table or drag your body over there. Whatever you prefer, _scavenger_." he hissed the last word, slightly annoyed by her relentlessness.  
She also was annoyed by his smugness, so she took option three. "I'll walk on my own there, you are allowed to help.  
In terms of me putting my weight on your arm. Nothing more."

He nearly let out a laugh, feeling somewhat delighted by her having the nerve of commanding him around in this dire situation. "Oh, you'll allow me to help you? I feel so honored. Let me guide the highness to her throne." he said, sarcasm dripping thickly from his voice. He let go of her left arms and positioned himself next to her right side,  
whilst she put a hard grip on his shoulders, she limped over and plopped down on the table. Then she seriously looked at him and said: "Now. Give me back my saber.  
It belongs to Luke. You can't keep it"

His face darkened. He looked to the ceiling, then back to her, rolling his eyes a bit. "If you just tried your little Jedi mind trick on me, I'm absolutely devastated to tell you, it won't work on me. Also: No, of course, you won't get it back. Now to focus on the important and realistic tasks on hand, we have to take a look at your knee and your head. We won't get far in your condition."

She huffed. "Asshole" She mumbled under her breath. "Thanks. I get that called a lot." he answered, pulling a chair from under the table, sitting in front of her.  
He put his gloved hands on his thighs, eyes fixated on her knee. "I will touch your knee and let the force flow through it, so I'll know what's the injury. Don't try something funny in the meantime.  
She would rather break her other leg too, than being touched by him, but right now she didn't have a choice. Also, it hurt like hell. She nodded: "I won't. If you also not try something funny." she mimicked him.

He pulled off his gloves. She had never seen him without them. His hands were much bigger then hers and his knuckles seemed to be slightly red as if they are still healing from him punching into objects or other people. Every time he puts away some of his typical dark uniform he seems kind of more human and ... normal,  
unlike his otherwise frightening appearance when he is fully dressed.  
He slowly raised his hand to her leg, slightly brushing her knee with his thumb. Then his other hand came up and encircled the back of her knee, both thumbs brushing on top of it, he closed his eyes and she felt some strange, warm energy flow through her leg. She looked at him with astonishment, not being prepared for him to be this gentle.  
"What did you eat for lunch, the day you started your flight? Before you crashed onto this planet?" he asked as his eyes opened again, locking onto hers.  
"Uhm. What? Why the hell would you want to know that?" she asked totally perplexed. "Just tell me, I would like to know." he said calmly.  
"Ok. Whatever. I don't understand it. I think I ate some pasta with - " she started but then something happened to interrupt her.

 **SNAP!** Kylo twisted her leg. Hard.

She screamed out in pain, ripping Kylo's hands from her legs.  
"YOU! The Fuuuuuck! What the hell. Oh maker it hurts! Are you crazy? Are you fucking nuts?" She bubbled some other insults, which flew to her mind, even in some other languages she knew of.  
He just stayed silent and watched her angry face getting red while insulting him. "Move it." he ordered.  
She abruptly fell silent, blinking at him confused. "Move your leg." he ordered again.  
She let her lower leg go up and down, completely being able to move it normally again. The pain also started to fade.  
"Oh." she mouthed in realization as she still gripped his hands in her own trembling palms. Then she tore them away as if she touched some glowing metal.  
"Your kneecap was dislocated." he explained.  
"Yeah. It seems so. This hurt like hell anyway. You could have at least told me about it beforehand!" she said angrily.  
"And what was that about my food?" I still don't get it."  
"Your body does not feel pain as strong, as it would if you already knew about it, expecting it coming. If it is taken by surprise, it needs some more time for your pain receptors to react to it. I'll take a look at your head now." he explained and raised his hands to her temples, touching them with his index fingers and thumbs.

So he actually distracted her, so she would feel less pain. Rey was taken aback by this. The same Kylo Ren, who wanted to kill her in their last saber fight, was now the one, who was trying to let her feel less pained, whilst checking on her injuries, making some kind of small talk. This felt so surreal.  
"So you didn't finish, what was it? Pasta with?" he added musingly.  
"You won't snap my head like you did before with my leg?" She flinched back a little.  
"As much as I would have liked to snap your neck on multiple occasions since I met you, no, this is not the time for it. I'll just take a look what injuries your head received."  
As he was saying this, this warm energy flew to her head again, she closed her eyes, feeling suddenly soothed by it. It felt incredibly relaxing and she mumbled:  
"It was pasta, with spinach sauce." She opened his eyes and looked at him again.  
His eyes were closed, but he looked concentrated on the task, but then the corners of his mouth twisted a little downwards.

"I hate spinach." He plainly stated and stood up.  
"Your head is fine. It's just a big cut on the left side. Nothing serious. We need to move."

She looked utterly perplexed by his statement. Throwing her hands up in some sarcastic way she exclaimed: "Oh big Kylo Ren, destroyer of whole star systems, Jedi killer, murderer of his own father and one million other crimes I don't know of, doesn't like spinach. That's just great! I couldn't care less. This whole situation is so fucked."

He didn't answer to this, lazily took the helmet from the table and put it back on his head with a clicking sound. Then he turned around and left through the exit.  
She wondered why he didn't take her by force with him but left her just standing there feeling dumb. She looked around for some kind of weapon or another exit, so she could flee, but as she already expected there was neither. So she grudgingly took the same route, he took before her.

That was the first time, she could see the other rooms of the cave system where she was taken prisoner. Actually, it looked more like a small base with some tables, chairs and monitors and lots and lots of mechanical parts lying pretty much everywhere around. It nearly looked like a junkyard inside a cave. With her trained eyes for discarded items, she immediately knew, that pretty much all of this stuff was garbage, the good parts already gone. Then she spotted a body on the floor. The head lying about two meters away. Then another one, lying on his stomach with a really deep gash on his back. Everywhere big puddles of crimson liquid. The nearer she went to the bodies, the more the air started to smell like burned flesh and blood.

These were the creatures Kylo Ren killed before he came into her prison room. She didn't know how to feel about it. The scene looked unbelievably cruel, she wasn't even sure, if these creatures deserved death. But on the other hand, they tortured her and she was certain, they would have done every other vile deed she could think of if they have had more time. She followed the path of some more slain bodies and finally reached the exit, where Kylo Ren waited for her, looking into the distance while holding his arms crossed in front of his body. The sunlight blinded her, so she raised her arms above her head to block the sun from her eyes.  
In front of the cave they came out, she could just see miles of sand, dunes and more sand. Pretty much as she knew it from Jakku. Also, lots of metal parts which were scattered around the cave. It seemed like the creatures who captured her were some kind of space pirates, who entrap ships passing this planet, taking them apart and then selling the valuable parts.  
She pondered for a moment what to do. She didn't want to go with him, for she knew he would drag her back to the First Order.  
So she just tried, what came to her mind in this instant even.

Without looking back, she just started walking at a fast pace in the opposite direction of him, hoping he would for whatever reason in this galaxy just let her go.


	4. Chapter 4: Burned Wood

She walked about twenty meters away from him into the hot sand. The sun was burning onto her exposed skin on her thighs and arms. With every step, she wondered when something will happen and if he will just let her go like that. Her doubts were justified the moment she felt rendered immobile. She wanted to turn her head around, but she couldn't move at all. It was the same feeling she had in the woods of Takodana, when they first met and he had her paralyzed.  
She heard his footsteps approaching behind, now his dark figure was coming into her vision from beside.  
He positioned himself broadly in front of her, arms crossed he let out a deep, metallic: "No" then made a small gesture with his right hand, releasing her again.  
Her muscles relaxed and she knew what he meant with the "No", ordering her like a dog to stand still. She angrily stood there and they kind of shared a glancing duel,  
even if she just could assume where his eyes were behind the mask.

She ended their little fight with a: "I loathe you with every inch of my body." between gritted teeth.

"I know." he said in a monotone voice.

"We'll go into this direction. My ship is there." Kylo nodded over to her left.  
He started walking past her, his wide steps digging deep into the sand. She sheepishly followed him and nearly had to sprint some time, to keep up his pace.  
After some minutes they reached his TIE fighter, parked between some dead trees. Some metres in front of the ship, he abruptly came to a halt and she nearly crashed into him.  
"Shit." he spat out.  
She looked over to the fighter, now realizing what he meant. There were metal parts scattered around all around the ship. It looked like some parts of the vessel were taken apart and the unusable parts were thrown aside.  
They both went closer to the ship as she saw a small cloud of smoke inside the cockpit. Rey just took the freedom, to open the hatch and to climb inside it. He raised his hand, wanting to stop her first, but then saw her already fumbling with the electronics, so he just let his hand glide down again and watched her interestedly.  
He leaned onto the door with one hand, watching closer what she did in there. She ripped out some cables, at least stopping the smoke coming from one wall, then she turned around and faced him with her eyebrows knitted together. Cables and a metal plate in her hands she explained: "They stole your ion engine, some parts of the boarding computer responsible for the deflector shield, your temperature system and your communicator."

He looked at her for the longest time not saying anything at all, then turned around and went away from the ship. Suddenly he pulled his saber from the belt, ignited it and started slashing the dead trees into tiny flaming bits. Whilst doing so, he screamed some swearwords she couldn't fully make out because of his mask. She watched him from the cockpit of the fighter and was both terrified by his anger, but also in awe because of his pure strength he emitted right now.  
After some seconds, when all the trees were cut down, he stopped and stood there with his back turned to her, panting, his shoulders slightly rising with each breath.  
His lightsaber was still buzzing next to him, where he held it and it brushed the ground slightly. Finally, he turned it off again facing her and walked back into her direction, still emitting waves of anger around him.

She gulped and looked over his shoulder, where she saw in the far distance a dark, large cloud coming up. When he reached the ship, he stood in front of her, his angry breathing sounding rattled through his mask.  
"Uhm..." she started looking at him, then again over his shoulder, then again at him.  
"What is it scavenger?" he hissed out.  
"Behind you. There is a sandstorm coming up. It seems pretty big. We should get into the TIE fighter right now. It's gonna be here in less than two minutes."  
She stood up now leaning against the door, pointing in the direction of the dark cloud.  
He followed her eyes and also looked at the dark cloud. It seemed pretty far away and he couldn't make out in which direction it moved.  
"How would you know?" he snapped at her.  
She scoffed: "I lived on a goddamn desert planet my whole life. If I ever learned something there, its when to fucking hide from a big sandstorm. But of course, you can stay outside if you don't believe me."

She started to close the door of the ship when Kylo Ren reached up with his hand to stop the door. He slipped into the fighter too and closed the door with her. They stood close to each other now when she remembered how much bigger he was. He also looked down at her with his dark mask, maybe thinking the same.  
One last glance and she plopped herself on the sitting area in the ship. Similar to the one in the millennium falcon, but much smaller, because of the ship being smaller.

He watched her like a predator while taking off his mask, placing it on the table in front of her. His glance gave her shivers as she didn't know if he was angry at her or at his ship being broken. He went to the windshield and watched the cloud coming closer at an incredible speed, whilst the sky went dark extremely fast. He could hear the first small pebbles and sand hitting the ship, making loud noises while doing so, the sound increasing with every second.  
Turning away from the window, staring at her, he dryly admitted. "I'll give you this one."

She sat there arms crossed, the smallest triumphant smile playing on her lips, then rubbing her temple: "Yeah...told you so." she mumbled, then took a look at her hand,  
now fully covered in blood. Her gaze then wandered down to her ripped clothes, which pretty much exposed a lot of her skin.  
She didn't realize that too much before, but now in this moment of calm, she suddenly was a little bit embarrassed about her appearance and also showing too much skin for her taste.  
"I look like shit. Don't I?" she asked him.  
He focused on her face, his gaze wandering down her body, then again into her eyes.  
"You don't look too bad." he stated and stood up to walk to a door. Then he nodded his head behind his shoulder and said:  
"You can wash yourself off in the room back there. It has a small sink."

She nodded and stood up, walking to the bathroom. She had to press herself through the door to keep enough distance to him, as Kylo kept standing in the doorway, watching her every move as if he did not trust her to walk around on her own in his ship. His hazel brown eyes were slightly squeezed together as he watched her slide past him as if he was silently telling her to not pull some crazy escape moves in there.

She finally could see herself in the mirror and was shocked about all the blood and dirt smeared across her face. Also the big gash, she had on her left temple, with blood still slowly dripping out of it. Her hair also was a mess and had some dried blood in it. She let some cool water run over her hands, splashing it on her face and tried to wash out the knotted blood clots in her hair.  
 _Not that bad..._ she thought. How could he say, she doesn't look bad? She looked like a pile of shit. _Unless...did he mean her usual appearance? Did he? No! Did this guy just make her a compliment?_  
She shook her head. Of course, he didn't. Kylo Ren doesn't make compliments.  
After she cleared her face, she started to tie her three buns again, as she usually wore them. When she was done, she exited the bathroom and went back to the main area of the ship. Kylo Ren sat in the pilot's seat, putting in some coordinates into the partly functioning ship's computer. She didn't find anything to dry herself, so she just brushed the water away with the remains of her clothes, which didn't work too well. So she just needed to dry then.

Rey sat down on the couch again, watching him for a while, then looked at the helmet on the table in front of her. Next to the mask laid something which wasn't there before, a bacta bandage.  
"Oh!" she mumbled surprised, taking it into her hand. Kylo must have put it there when she as gone. "Uhm. Thanks." she said, whilst ripping the packaging open and applying it to the gash on her head.  
He turned around in the pilot's chair, seemingly surprised by her "thanks". He watched her applying the patch and realized her hair and her face were still wet.  
 _Why didn't she dry it?_ He thought as he saw one drop slowly running down her neck onto her small shoulder.  
He blinked to focus again and glanced at her face to ask: "How long will the sandstorm last?" Fully expecting an exact answer.  
"I do not know that. There are sandstorms which are gone after seconds and others stay for days, or even weeks. On Jakku we had all kinds of them.  
You couldn't say how long they will take, or how long they will stay in one place."  
He snorted and ran a hand through his black hair, obviously annoyed.

Then he crossed his arms and put his feet on the table between them both. Closing his eyes, he seemed like he wanted to relax or even sleep.  
Without opening them he warned: "Scavenger, whatever you'll do, I can feel your presence. Have that in mind when your head get's some smart ideas again."  
She watched him as she understood his threat. _Is he really going to rest now? Was he tired?_ She looked around, trying to scramble together a plan as this could be her chance. Then her glance fell back to him and wandered down to his belt, both their sabers dangling there. She could try to force it into her hands as she did on Starkiller base. He would probably attack her then. "Yes I would." he simply stated, obviously having read her mind as he opened his eyes for a second to throw her a warning glance.  
"Just go to sleep. You are wasted."

Rey was angry at him reading her mind like that, but actually, he was right. She was wasted and in dire need of some sleep after this whole situation.  
After a while, she tried to get comfortable on the sofa but started shivering pretty fast, because the sandy cloud didn't let any warmth from the sun into the ship.  
Also, she merely wore any functioning clothes right now. She was thrashing around, finding a comfortable position where she could hold most of her body heat and was now  
sitting in some kind of fetal position, holding her knees. He opened his eyes again, watching her struggle.

Kylo stood up and released his big cape from his shoulders and threw it wordlessly over the table into her arms, then instantly sat down and closed his eyes again.  
She caught it and looked surprised over to him, but he didn't say anything.  
Finally, she put the cape around herself, it being enough to completely cover her body. She snuggled herself in the warm texture of the fabric, feeling better every second.  
It smelled of blood, sand and Kylo himself.  
He smelled like something between burned wood and something else she couldn't get a grip on.  
But she decided she liked it a lot and while drifting to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5: Black

A loud metallic bang snapped Rey out of the sleep. Kylo Ren stood in the entrance of the ship, holding the opened door above his head with one hand, sunlight was shining into the ship, some sand was seeping onto the floor. She blinked and looked onto the back of his dark figure, now surrounded by sunlight from the outside. It kind of looked like an image from some saint she saw in a book years ago.

She couldn't stop herself from feeling overwhelmed by this sight. He seemed to feel her gaze on his back because he turned around and faced her with one raised eyebrow.  
Her mind snapped out of eyeballing him and she blushed. To hide it, she buried herself deeper into his cape, hoping, he wouldn't see her face.  
Of course, he saw her blushing - again, wondering what was up with her. She acted strange pretty often.  
"Why are you blushing? Don't hide it, I can see it anyway." he told her, knowingly teasing her.  
Of course, she blushed more, by him telling her this.

"You...you just looked so tremendous and I don't know, the sun around you. It just made you look like a saint right now."  
He tried to hold back a laughter but failed and let out a small mischievous grin. "A saint? That has to be the first positive description of me I heard in years!"  
Now pulling her head out from under the cape she added: "Yeah and I guess you know why no one else has to say something good about you."  
"Hmm let me think. Yeah I guess I know.  
But to end this useless conversation about good and bad: let's get to the nearest civilization, we have to get back the ship's parts, or at least obtain new ones. Also..." and he looked onto her exposed leg, which peeked out from under the cape. "You might need some clothes, which won't fall off your body any second."  
With the last sentence, he clicked his helmet back onto his neck and was this unhumanly bad looking monster again.

She jumped up, kind of bugged, that he looked at her leg like that and rushed past him into the sand. She had put his cape around her in a similar way he normally wears it, but in the front, it was closed because some could really see a lot of her body and she didn't want anyone staring. Especially not him. She waited in the sand for Kylo to follow, he already did and stood next to her. "Which direction?" she asked.  
He answered: "Don't you feel it?"  
"What?" she looked at him, the hood pulled deep into her face.  
"You can feel living beings with your force. Did you never do this before?"  
"No. I did not." she didn't want to be lectured by him.  
"Close your eyes and reach into the force. Think about living, breathing beings. Their heartbeat, their minds, their feelings.  
Search for them in your mind, concentrate and you will feel them." he explained.  
She looked confused into his mask, did he want to show her some dark side tricks already?  
"No it's not a dark side technique. Don't be afraid. Every force user is able to do this if they train it." he added.  
"Stop reading my mind." she gritted her teeth, but closed her eyes and did what Kylo told her.

At first, she didn't feel anything, except the burning sun on her face. Then after a while, she was able to feel some pulsating light on her right side."  
"Yep. You found them. Now keep your mind on this light." he said in a deep soothed voice.  
"Stop. Reading. My - oh" she saw something new. She saw two people arguing about something. She immediately knew where they were. Where the civilization was.  
"It's in this direction." she pointed to her right. About four kilometres from here." she took a step to the right.  
He had a slight grin under his mask, which she didn't see. She learned incredibly fast.  
"Actually it's seven kilometres, but I'll let this pass. You might want to start wearing a padawan braid now and call me master, as you agreed to my training." he teased her again. Brushing his own shoulder against hers as he walked arrogantly past her, in the direction she showed before.

She groaned annoyed and started following him reluctantly. As they were walking for an hour or so in the bright sun, his cape surprisingly not getting hot, but shielding the heat from her, she was having enough of the silence between them.  
"How did you actually find me?" she asked whilst walking behind him.  
"You still don't know?" his steps getting a little bit slower.  
"No. It seems, that I don't know about a lot of stuff." she admits.  
"I am sure you remember the day I captured you. In the interrogation chamber. I already felt it there the first time I saw you. We have some kind of connection. I am not one hundred percent sure what it is exactly and how it works. I need to read about it more when I'll find the time and am not stranded on a shithole of a planet. But it's called a force bond. And it is between us two. I didn't know how strong it was until yesterday where I felt you crashing your ship and getting tortured. Also, I don't know why we have it. But that's why I could instantly find out where you are, I felt your pain, your emotions and saw visions of you. Something similar to what you did right now, finding the civilization, but much more intense and over the course of faraway galaxies."

She stood still. Her mouth gawking open. "Are you shitting me? Does it mean you could find me anywhere in the whole universe by this bond? So I could actually never escape you, because you can find me everywhere?" She felt anger and fear crawling up in her. It also means, she could never get back to the resistance, because he would instantly know where she is and then also where the base is. She abruptly felt lost and helpless after this new info she got.

He now also stood still and turned around. He could see her eyes watering just a little bit and felt the slightest ping of pity for her.  
"Already developing new escape plans scavenger? Tss. But, Yes, I think I might be able to track you down everywhere with this bond." he paused for a moment. "This doesn't mean, I will do it."  
He looked at her in his dark cape, anger pulsating through her force aura like fire. For some unknown reason, he took pleasure in this sight.

"You know, black suits you just perfect." he stated, turning on his heel to keep on walking.

She was totally taken by surprise from his compliment and slowly started walking again while letting the conversation go over and over through her head, thinking of all the consequences this force bond will have upon them and what he meant by all these vague things he said.  
After silently walking for some more time, the first buildings came in sight.  
She sighed in relief and gained some speed in her legs again. Kylo was already about twenty metres in front of her.  
When they reached the city, it was full of people. Not in a crowded way, but it was bigger than the marketplace she had on Jakku.

They were both walking next to each other through the alleys, well aware that everyone was staring at these dark hooded figures until she could see a store, which looked like a clothing store. She slipped inside it before Kylo even decided if he should argue with her about it or not. At fi, st he wanted to follow her, but remained outside to give her some privacy. After about ten minutes she came out. His cape folded together in her arms and she wore a new set of clothes, pretty much similar to the ones she wore, when he kidnapped her. She held out his cape and he took it and flung it over his shoulder, now with his full outfit looking terrifying on a maximum level again.

They silently started walking, searching for a store, where they could get the parts for the ship.  
After a while, he asked her: "How did you get these clothes without money?"  
She grinned a little: "The same way, I got the stormtroopers on your base to release my restraints and set me free when you captured me."  
He stopped walking and turned his head to her. "Jedi Mind Trick. I see. Actually, I wondered how you got free back then. Where did you learn this ability?"  
She pondered a moment, then said: "I never learned it. Until the moment we met in the interrogation chamber, I thought I am a normal scavenger woman from Jakku, nothing special about me. I never knew I could do these things. I think something awoke in me, the moment our minds clashed.  
Since this day I was able to do things I didn't know I'd be able to."  
He listened to her, then lowered his head to the floor, holding his hands behind his back, he turned around and started walking silently, looking like he was in deep thought about her words.  
She followed him again, not understanding his sudden silence and thoughtfulness. "What is it?" she asked a little bit concerned.  
He took some time to answer, still in some kind of deep thought.

"It would have been better if we have never met."


	6. Chapter 6: Tickle

"It would have been better, if we have never met."

He said in a deep growling voice, walking one step ahead of her. He seemed like he wanted to end the conversation on this point. But she wouldn't let him.  
"Even if I totally have to agree with you, that it would have been better if we've never met, it would have been better, if you've never turned to the dark side, if you've never killed your father, if you've never kidnapped and pressed me into using the force, of which I didn't know I could use before. I like to think I am happy to not be alone on Jakku anymore, to have found new friends, who I found solely because of your utterly evil actions, to get to know your wonderful, caring mother and I kind of see this whole situation here as extremely irritating and sinister and I know you are not some monster in a mask, but a man who still has light in him left. And I think that's the point,  
at which I'd like to think that it somehow is destiny for us two to have met back then. You can still change. I can feel your light."

He abruptly stopped in his tracks, now looking bigger than ever, his fist clenching this hard together, she could hear the leather between his finger creaking. He swiftly turned around, now facing her, his right hand in the air forming a gap between his palm, she instantly felt her breath being knocked out of her lungs, she grabbed her throat trying to pull his away fingers, even if they weren't actually there.  
Tears started welling up in her eyes from the lack of air and the slowly surfacing panic, whilst she backed up against the wall behind her. He took some steps towards her, getting so close that her rasps for breath clouded the metal parts on his helmet. He also pushed some of his angered force signature towards her, letting her know just how enraged he was. She could swear, that some small stones started levitating around them. Other people were watching them terrified, now knowing he was a force user.  
He didn't talk, he forced his thoughts into her mind now.

 _Do not underestimate your enemy scavenger! Do not talk about my past, like you'd know just the tiniest bit about it. You know nothing! There is no light!_

His hand was just inches away from her neck, nearly choking her for real without the force. She held back her tears as she now gained a self-confident gaze, looking directly into his mask. Even if she had trouble breathing, she pressed out between gritted teeth:

"I am not scared of you. In fact, I never was. You are hurting me. You do not need to do this."

While saying this, she took his now trembling outstretched hand which was mere inches away from her neck and pressed his palm against flatly against her chest, letting him feel her rapid heartbeat and trembling body.  
He was so perplexed by her action, he stopped his force choke instantly and just started to feel her heartbeat, also taking in her pain and listening to her regaining her breath. Nobody ever has dared to disrupt his force choke like that. Normally everybody scrambled back in fear from it. So this made him feel equally shocked as it amazed him. Somehow it was the same feeling he had when he pried into her mind the last time he had her captured. But this today she wasn't angry but determined.  
They stayed some seconds in this position, minds fighting a silent game of dark and light against each other, lips trembling from her ragged breaths.  
He took his time to take in her face, her jawline, her freckles, her green eyes and her slightly opened mouth as she stared into his mask.  
After some time she let go of his hand and waited for him to back off.

He was still focused on her face as his gloved hand laid on her upper body, now realising he stayed there pretty long already.  
So he let his flat palm slowly glide down her chest, between her breasts till he reached her belly with only two fingers on her fabric before he completely pulled back.  
It was an utterly strange and sexual atmosphere which surrounded them at his sensual gesture and her insides started tickling like crazy by this.  
He was fixed onto her eyes the whole time, seeing them switch from a panicked state, then anger and pure determination to something else. _Was it lust?_  
She surely was an intense person, who thrilled and challenged him every time they interacted.

She heard him inhale long and a little bit shaky, then he turned around wordlessly and proceeded their walk.  
She remained totally dumbfounded standing by the wall for some seconds, but then snapped out of it and started following him with some meters distance.  
 _What in makers name happened right now? First, he chokes me, then he caresses me in the most sensual way._ And the worst thing about it,  
judging by her now slightly moist pants, she never felt more aroused by any situation in her whole life before.  
 _I should never ever feel this way around him, nor should he ever touch me like this. Whatever the hell happened here must never happen again._

He also wasn't sure what made him do this, he just knew that she made him feel weak when she told him to not hurt her and also really amazed at her strength and her fearless gaze on him. It wasn't his intention to make this situation to be this arousingly tense, he did this without thinking much about what his hand did. He just knew that is insides were tingling with something he couldn't get a hold on, so he brushed it aside and kept on searching for a store with ship parts as he didn't want to dwell any deeper into his feelings right now.  
Finally they reached a big hut, made out of clay and concrete, scrap metal parts lying and standing all around it, in the back was a big junkyard with taken apart ships.  
They stepped through the door and saw a tusken raider fiddling behind the counter with some electronic parts.

Next to him, was a small boy in dirty clothes holding cables in his hands, waiting for the raider to take them. The tusken shop owner took the cables, inspected them and then gave the boy a hard blow on the head with his fist. The boy fell to the floor collecting the cables and backed off into another room, whilst apologizing in a language Kylo didn't understand. But Rey did and she knew, the boy apologized for bringing the wrong cables and pleaded to not be beaten again.  
She looked away from him when he left the room, fixing her gaze on the tusken guy. She has seen this kind of situation like a thousand times on Jakku, where children are sold as slaves to and are forced to work for the store owners. She felt sorry, but also knew she couldn't do a thing about it. The boy was probably better off having some kind of space to live and work as a slave than being outside on his own right now.

Kylo didn't seem to be affected by this scene, he just went to the counter and said in a threatening tone: "Some parts of my ship were stolen. You don't happen to know, where they could be?"  
The tusken raider didn't look up from his electronic parts but said in a snarling voice: "I didn't get any new ship parts for months. I don't know where they are, even if I would have them, you wouldn't get them back anyway. So don't bother me. Hush." he waved his hand, gesturing them to leave the store.  
Kylo took out a small back from his clothes and threw it on the counter. It landed with a loud "clunk" and Kylo growled in a deep metallic voice: "These are 20.000 imperial credits. More than enough to buy all the parts I need. So would you _fucking mind_ to serve your costumers?"  
The tusken raider finally looked up to Kylo Ren, letting out a long laugh. "Imperial credits? Don't you know? Nobody here deals with imperial credits anymore.  
We stopped using them about seven years ago. They are less worth than bantha shit on this planet!"

Kylo just grew more bugged with every passing second, so he did what he could do best: He force choked the guy, till he fell unconscious. Rey stood in the room the whole time, silently watching the whole scene. She didn't feel like intervening because the tusken guy surely deserved this. So to make herself useful, she just started to collect the needed parts and put them all together in a big net she also found in the store. When she went through the back door she could see an old speeder. Kylo also grabbed some stuff and also threw it into the net, then also went out and saw Rey standing in front of the vehicle. "Does it work?" he asked. "I didn't try yet." she answered.  
She took a step forward, touching the handles.  
"If you jump on this thing now and race away, I'll find you and kill you." Kylo let her know.  
 _"_ Chill! I won't." She let him know and started the roaring engine. "It works!" she cheered, clapping her hands together.

They attached their parts on the speeder. When they were done, Rey wondered who will drive this thing. But the question was answered, when Kylo sprung on top of it and ordered her to sit behind him.  
She instantly blushed again, knowing she would be much too close for her taste, but sat behind him anyway. What else should she do?  
First, she didn't want to have a hold on him and thought about just trying to clench herself to the speeder somehow. But she knew, it would be to fast and she would fall down. So she did put her hands on his sides, not clinging herself to him, just enough to hold her steady when they'll start. She could feel him tense a little under her touch and wondered for one second if someone like Kylo Ren would ever be ticklish. She let out a small chuckle, imagining him being ticklish, metallic laughter coming from his helmet. Then she realized, she doesn't know how his laugh sounds as she couldn't imagine it so it would fit him.

He turned around and watched her little giggling moment, not understanding what was so funny, but didn't have the nerve to ask. So he just stated: "Let's go back." with that he let the engine roar and took off back into the desert.


	7. Chapter 7: Chocolate

They drove through the hot desert for some minutes, thankfully not being forced to walk back to the ship by foot.  
The sun was still burning on Rey's skin, but at least she was slightly better protected than before with her new clothes.  
The ride was pretty uneventful, just on one occasion when Kylo was taking a sharp turn to avoid some sand people before they saw the speeder, she hugged him on instinct from behind and pressed against his back to not fall down the vehicle.  
Rey felt him draw in a sharp breath when her chest touched his back and she instantly pressed both her hands against him after he turned the speeder and pulled herself as far away as possible again. He hissed a: "Watch it!" to her. She didn't know why he reacted like that. Maybe he was angry that she just grabbed onto him ltoo much. She didn't know.  
But then again, she thought, he is the one dragging her through all this so she was not the one responsible for anything actually.

When they reached the TIE fighter, Rey instantly let her hands flew of Kylo and jumped from the speeder.  
Kylo also dismounted himself and with a swoosh of his hand let the net with all the parts fall into the sand.  
He took off his mask and went into the fighter. After some time he came back with a tray full of tools and two water bottles. He plopped the tools on the sand and threw one bottle wordlessly to Rey, who hastily opened it and drank some fast gulps. He also drank some, closing his eyes when the cool liquid went down his throat. He really didn't like deserts. After drinking enough he took one of the tools and some parts from the net and jumped on top of the fighter with them in both hands.  
She watched him jump up and realised, that he can jump much higher than normal humans, probably using the force when doing so. She wondered if she could do it too and hoped she would learn it eventually.

He looked down from the ship to her and said: "I don't know exactly how to repair the deflector shield, but I can manage the other stuff. I presume you know how to?"  
She already had the proper tools in her hand and gazed up at him, squinting into the sun. She gave him a thumbs up and just nodded, then started to work.  
He stood up there and watched her a second after she gave him the thumbs up. Sometimes he wondered if he is going too easy on her, as she seems to have fun working on the ship right now. Are prisoners supposed to have fun?

They silently worked on the ship for some hours, when Kylo finally jumped down and walked over to her standing behind Rey watching her fiddle with some screws, seemingly also nearly done with her task. He saw that she did her work exceptionally good and he was somehow proud of her skills. But he wouldn't tell her this of course.  
The moment he had approached her, he already felt a shift in her mood. She was brooding with anger and sadness. He wanted to say something, but she was faster.  
She turned around, still holding a tool in her hand and two large screws in her mouth. She slowly took them out as Kylo watched the metal of the screw slide beneath her lips and then she asked a little shaky: "What...what will happen when the ship is repaired. What will you do with me?"

He ran a hand through his hair somehow avoiding her gaze. Then he stoically said:"I will take you back to the First Order, take the map to Skywalker begin your much-needed training."

She felt angry tears welling up, kind of knowing this would be the answer, but hearing it from him it was like the last coffin nail.  
Her hands with the tools and the nails dropped down. She looked up at him with glistening eyes and pressed out a: "Why?"  
"You know I need the map since I met you. And your power needs to be trained. You'd have so much potential if you'd just let me..." he started but was interrupted by her lashing out at him.  
It angered her so much being at his mercy like that, she made the rash decision to attack him with the wrench in her hand. Letting out a loud growl, screaming at him furiously she tried to beat the wrench against his head. "You can't just order me around all the time! You don't own me and certainly, the First Order doesn't own me.  
Fucking let me go you asshole!"

Of course, he was faster and saw her attack coming so he blocked it holding her arm upright over his head. She was panting with anger, trying to box him in the stomach with her other fist. He caught this too and held both her arms. Now she started kicking him, as it was the only part of her, still being able to move. Whilst doing that she let out frustrated groans and let her tears now stream freely down her face.  
He still held her, the scene looking somehow similar to their fight on starkiller base, as he held one arm above her and the other one pressed down.  
Their faces were just inches away from each other and he could see the flames in her eyes and the sweatdrops on her forehead from the heat. His own hair had fallen into his face from the sudden moves and now hung loosely in front of his eyes as he was groaning out her name as a warning.  
She didn't stop trying to wiggle herself out and he was also getting tired of her kicking at him, so with one quick motion he swung his leg behind hers and sent her flying downwards into the sand. Because he still gripped her arms in his hand he also crashed down and landed somehow on top of her, pinning her down with his weight.  
In a low but threatening voice he said: "Stop fighting Rey. You have no choice in this matter!"

"I would rather die, than going back there! Fucking kill me already!" Then she did something unusual for her. Turning her head to the left, looking away from him,  
she just started crying - a lot. It became so much, she had to gasp for air in between sobs.  
Kylo watched her for a moment and had the sudden urge to let his fingers glide to her wet cheeks and turn her face around again, so she wouldn't look away anymore.  
Also, his heart hammered against his chest as if he did something wrong and was now feeling bad about it.  
He was totally overwhelmed by her behaviour, so he let off his iron grip from her wrists and just watched her for some seconds as he still kneeled on her.  
Rey still refused to look at him and kept on sobbing. He finally stood up, hovering over her, watching her tears trickle down her face into the sand still trying to comprehend what was happening. _Did she just give up?_  
He instantly felt some kind of guilt seeping into him seeing her like this. So He just babbled out something he didn't want to say, but it came out anyway:

"I am sorry. You are right."

Her sobbing abruptly stopped and she turned her head in his direction, wet sand clinging to her cheek.  
Her eyes grew big and she asked: "What did you say?"  
He knew he shouldn't have said it and he already cursed inwardly, so he shook his head and mumbled a: "Nevermind" before angrily turning around and boarding the ship, leaving her laying in the sand.  
After some blinking and brushing off the sand, she just sat there for a while thinking about his words. Rey had heard them she just asked again to check if he was serious about what he said. _Was he really sorry? And about which part did he think I was right? Or did he mean everything?_ This certainly was some unexpected behaviour from the dark side user and she decided she'd need to ask him about it later before they'd start the ship.  
When she opened the door she took a glimpse into the desert again before entering, feeling a sandstorm coming up again. He sat on the floor in a cross-legged position,  
his lightsaber layed down in front of him. He seemed to be meditating and not taking interest in her being in the same room.  
She plopped herself on the sofa, crossing her arms over her chest watching him.

She looked at his saber and also on Luke's which still dangled on his belt. After some minutes watching him, studying his face which seemed so calm like she has never seen before, she cleared her throat and said: "There is another sandstorm coming up. We shouldn't keep on repairing the ship right now."  
He took some time to answer not opening his eyes, he said: "I know."

A minute after she said it, they could hear the sand and small stones already crashing against the ships surface and all the windows turning dark.  
She grew tired of watching him meditate and obviously he wasn't in the mood to talk about what he said before. So she started going around the ship taking in the controls and checking if something else has to be repaired inside. After some time he opened his eyes, watching her wandering around. She didn't realise he was watching and kept on fumbling on the control buttons. Then she held her belly as it started to make some noises. She was hungry. She hadn't eaten for two days.

Kylo Ren then stood up, walking over to his cape. She felt him moving and suddenly turned around, watching him. He fumbled in an inside pocket of the black fabric and pulled a small bar out of it. Walking over to her, he held out his palm offering her it without saying anything.  
"What is it?" She asked. "A chocolate bar." he answered. "Ok. But. But _what_ is it?"  
"You mean chocolate? Don't tell me you don't know what chocolate is." he asked raising an eyebrow.  
"No I do not know what it is. But I guess it's something to eat?"  
He couldn't believe it and just pulled up her hand and placed the bar into her palm. She looked at it if he has just put some bantha shit into her hand and was also surprised at his sudden touch.  
Taking a step back and sitting on the sofa he stated: "Just eat it and tell me what you think." having the faintest smile playing alongside his lips.

She felt irritated but opened the bar anyway, turning it around in her hand to see if it was altered by him in some kind. "I didn't poison it if you're searching for that. It's just some damn chocolate." he said as if he had read her mind.  
Rey glanced it him to see if he was lying, but more so over he had a small smile playing on his lips watching her in anticipation. _Why was he so eager to know what she was thinking about this food?  
_ She shrugged her shoulder then and took a bite. _How bad could it be?_

The moment the chocolate meet her tongue she was overwhelmed with its pure taste.  
Never in her whole life she has tasted something equal to this. It was pure sweetness melting on her tongue, giving her a feel of instant happiness, nerve endings exploding with this new experience. She closed her eyes and let out a really long deep moan whilst chewing and sucking on the piece of chocolate, prolonging the experience as much as she was able to.  
Kylo still sat on the couch watching her every move. He couldn't help but stare at this whole situation feeling utterly amazed by Rey at this moment. Seeing the corners of her mouth moving up to a small smile, she brought the bar to her mouth again, not biting it, how a normal person would do it, who has eaten countless chocolate bars in her life, but she started suckling at it really slow, whilst still moaning and making loud smacking noises.

Kylo instantly got thrilled by this sight not believing his eyes, he felt like he hasn't ever seen anything more arousing than Rey sucking on a piece of chocolate. His mind was driving him crazy and he felt a really deep want coming up inside him, his cock was already twitching slightly against his pants and he had to deeply concentrate to not sit with a full erection in front of her. She even licked the melted chocolate from her fingers now and he watched her tongue glide alongside her lips.  
But before his mind dwindled deeper into him imagining her lips all over his body, he disrupted this most unusual scene and asked with slightly shaky voice: "So...how is it?"  
even if he knew, she liked it, he wanted to hear her voice and also to really end this situation so he wouldn't go crazy anymore.

She fell out of her drugged-like state and slowly opened her eyes dreamingly. With a really moony voice, staring at the now empty paper from the bar, she answered:  
"Never in my whole life I have tasted something sweet, something this full of taste, it tasted like happiness. I can't believe I never had chocolate before. Actually I... I don't know, I guess I missed some really important stuff on Jakku." Then her eyes moved from the paper to Kylo, who was gripping the armrest on the couch with white knuckles, his eyes locked onto her lips. Suddenly she knew why and inwardly smacked herself for it.

 _Are you stupid or something? You can't moan and suck like a little whore on your food in front of Kylo Ren! What must he be thinking now? This is so_ embarrassing _!_

Her face went red, like a deep dark red and she put her palms on her face, hiding away from Kylo's gaze, turning her body away from him.  
"You shouldn't have seen this, this is so embarrassing. Please just forget it!"  
Kylo took his hands from the armrest and put his palms against each other. In a low voice he whispered. "I think I won't forget this ever. I've never seen someone eat a chocolate bar in a more pleasurable way than you just did. But maybe... don't do it again in front of me. It drove me crazy."


	8. Chapter 8: Fight

After their last really embarrassing conversation they tried to avoid each other's gaze and kept themselves busy. Kylo meditated on the floor again and Rey tried to sleep on the couch, but had so much stuff swirling around in her head, she had problems to calm down. The sandstorm was still howling outside and they couldn't go outside to try out if the ship will work again.  
Finally Rey fell asleep after turning around countless times, whilst Kylo meditated like a stone, but sometimes opened his eyes to watch her rustle around.

The hours went by, when Kylo jolted out of his meditation because he felt something through the force. Rey awakening because she felt Kylo's aura flare up.  
She drowsily asked: "Whatsss happenninggg?"  
He already stood in the room, making his way to the door, lightsaber grabbed in his fist, putting on his helmet and cape. Just when his hand reached the pad for the opening mechanism, they heard a loud "thud" and saw through the windows some kind of metal net falling all over the ship. Kylo frantically pressed the button on the pad - but nothing happened.  
He turned to Rey and they both mouthed to each other: _"EMP net."_

Rey jumped up, also running to the door where Kylo stood and muttered: "Shit! You got any mechanical way of opening the door?"  
Kylo pondered for a moment, then said: "If we open that hatch over there and bypass the locking mechanism, we should be able to open the door by hand."  
She instantly ran over to the hatch and tried ripping it open as they heard a noise.

 **"Ssssssnnnnnnnzzzzssss"  
**  
He ignited his saber, looking up to where the sound came from, then instantly felt himself getting dizzy. He looked over to Rey, who now grabbed the wall next to her, tumbling in his direction. He started having problems with his vision, so he turned his saber off and also got a hold on the wall. His other hand with the saber was stretched out to her, with her last strength she grabbed his wrist and muttered a weak: "Kylooo." before falling down on the floor, Kylo crashing down seconds after her.

Rey woke up in a cold room, lying on the floor. She pushed her body from the cold ground, still feeling dizzy. Looking around she saw metal bars to her right. She turned her head and saw Kylo Ren still lying sprawled on the floor next to her. She propped herself on her knees and looked around. They were in a small prison cell together.  
She crawled over to him and grabbed his shoulder and shook it lightly, then tried to turn his head around, which was hard, because he still wore his helmet. She heard him moaning, then saw his finger twitching. "Kylo! Wake up" she whispered.  
He turned to the side and grabbed her wrist fast. When he realized it was her, his grip loosened until he let her go.  
Kylo also took a look around, while he sat himself up, then quickly let his hands shot to his belt, only to find out both of the lightsabers were gone.  
"FUCK." He shouted and his fist collided with the floor, leaving a small dent.  
"I think they drugged us through the air vents of your ship." she stated, looking questioningly into his mask. He just nodded and stood up.

Walking over to the metal bars he stretched his arm out nearly touching them. Before his fingertips made contact, he pulled them back and said: "Don't touch the metal bars. They are charged up."  
"Oh ok, I won't." Inwardly she thanked him, as she had been just a second away from standing up too and touching them.  
"What do we do now? Where are we, who did this?" she asked a little panicked, but kind of relieved she had someone as strong as Kylo with her in this situation.  
He pondered for a moment, positioning himself back on the floor cross-legged. "How do you feel?" he asked, not answering her questions with a low voice.  
"Actually still pretty dizzy and nauseous, but I think it's getting better. You?" she asked.

"Good. You'll need your strength." he stated without answering how he feels.

"I can feel the presence of thousands of people around this cell. Also, there is some kind of stadium, feral creatures, weapons and maker knows what else outside. This is going to be real bantha shit." he huffed through his mask. "I am certain we're prisoners and they will force us to fight against either monsters, soldiers, slaves or each other in some kind of arena. Low-class entertainment at its finest." he sneered disgusted.

Her eyes opened wide: "What? What? Who the hell does this? Are planets still doing this? This is barbaric! Why should somebody want to see this? This is crazy. I won't fight you. I mean not right now, like this, in this place. I want to fight you on my own terms, sometime later maybe."  
He liked her sarcasm and had a slight smile playing on his lips, which she couldn't see of course, his helmet hiding away all of his emotions.  
She started to get restless, walking in circles around their prison. After some time she looked up to his mask as it kind of unnerved her to not see his face and asked:  
"Why do you actually wear this helmet? Shouldn't it work against toxic gases?"  
"Actually - it _should_ work against toxic and nerve gases. But the First Order doesn't know every combat agent in the whole galaxy. So our captors probably used an agent, nobody of our First Order scientists is aware of by now." he explained.  
"Oh that's why you wear it all the time? Or are there any other reasons?" she asked. But they were disrupted by a hissing sound again.

 **"Ssssssnnnnssz"  
**  
"Not again!" she mouthed, looking panicky over to Kylo. She already felt the dizzyness crawling into her head. Kylo just walked over to her and silently put a hand on her back, letting his force flow through her in a soothing way, until they both lost consciousness again, dropping on the floor next to each other.  
For whatever reason he was soothing her, she didn't know but it helped her to not scream in panic.

* * *

Rey felt a sharp burning pain in her stomach. Then another one. Her eyes flew open and she tried to focus on what caused the pain. In front of her stood a tusken raider with an electrostaff, poking into her belly. She instantly kicked at the weapon to avoid more contact with her body and simultaneously realized her hands were bound behind her back on a chain.  
She heard loud cheering and now finally took in her surroundings, noticing that she was indeed, as Kylo predicted before, in a large arena, thousands of people and creatures sitting and standing around her on platforms.  
She did not like this at all and started getting nervous. The tusken raider tried to poke her again, so she kicked the weapon out of his hands and screamed at him to fuck off.  
Her hands were tied with a metal chain to a large stone pole behind her back and there was a big dusty space in the front, more tusken guards surrounding her. She looked around and was able to get a glimpse of Kylo about five meters away from her in the same situation she was in.

He was already awake and she saw the guards who tried to poke Kylo with their electrostaffs already falling dead to the floor without him even moving a muscle.  
The crowd was cheering at the dead raiders and Rey couldn't believe his eyes, that he could kill people without moving himself.  
She tried to wiggle out of her handcuffs, walking around the pole and also tried to climb up, but it wasn't possible due to her hands being tied together so she wouldn't be able to grab anything. She screamed at Kylo, who turned his masked head over and crooked it to the side a little as he was watching her, while fumbling with his bound hands behind his back.  
She was confused by this gesture until she heard something in her mind: _"Calm down. It's nothing we can't handle."  
_ It was his voice. In her head. Like he was sitting right beneath her ear, talking to her. _How the hell did he do that?  
_ She tried to answer. _Was this their bond? Could they talk through it?_

 _"Can you hear me?"_ she asked back. _"Yep."_ he answered while he looked away from her to a big door, still doing something with his hands.  
 _"Wow. Is this our bond? And how the hell are we supposed to come out of here? I can't move my hands!"_ she sent him.  
 _"Yes, it is. Practical isn't it? My hands are nearly free. Then we'll kill them all."_ he plainly answered.  
She couldn't believe he was taking their situation so lightheartedly and also had the guts to throw in a joke. _  
_

There was a loud banging and then a roar. The audience went crazy at this sound, overjoyed screaming echoing through the arena. Rey looked around panic-stricken trying to see whatever caused the roar. A big gate on the wall of the arena opened and there stood this grotesquely big, purple creature with brown horns and big yellow teeth sticking out of his mouth. The tusken raiders poked it with their staffs and it became feral, now stomping into the middle of the arena, coming dangerously close to Rey.  
 _Oh maker, oh maker, I'm gonna die, oh maker! I can't stand this anymore!_ Rey repeated in her head while desperately trying to climb up the pole.

* * *

Meanwhile on D'Qar, Leia and some other generals including Finn were listening to a message from another resistance base, which they had just received.  
She was interrupted by a really agitated Poe Dameron who ran into the situation room like there was no tomorrow.  
Leia turned her head around, looking at the panting pilot who held out his finger to the big screen in the room. "Turn the TV on! Now! It's Rey! I found her!".  
They all simultaneously screamed "WHAT?" Finn instantly ran over to the screen and turned it on. "Which channel Poe? Which channel is it? What should I do? Where is she? Poe?" The pilot screamed: "It's channel 367! She is on Koraha. In a stadium. They are sending a live broadcast! It's the weekly arena fight!"  
Finn nervously tried to switch to the right channel, but let the remote fall down two times, because of his shaky hands.  
Leia couldn't bear it anymore and ripped the remote out of his fingers, switching to channel 367.

The camera was on the faces of two tv hosts, talking in two languages simultaneously telling the audience about the monster, which was a Drexl, how deadly it is and that it's normally used as a warbeast. The crowd cheered at this and the camera turned around, now showing first the beast, then Rey desperately trying to climb the pole.  
Finn grabbed the screen panting out a "Nooooo. Rey!"  
In shock, Leia put her hand in front of her mouth, whispering words to herself, not believing what she just saw.  
When the beast killed two of the tusken guards, it came dangerously close to Rey, it was mere ten meters way from her now. It sniffed around, growling and took in the scent of her, focusing on the struggling girl. Then it charged and ran directly into her direction. "Shit shit shit!" Poe screamed in the back, other generals and Finn screaming in desperation, the crowd in the arena cheering, awaiting the death of the young girl.  
Then, just a second before the Drexl reached her, Rey suddenly levitated onto the pole. She was flying into the air, looking surprised by this and landed with a wobbly stand on top of the stone post. The beast rammed the pole with its head and she nearly fell down again but was able to get a hold. She looked around and fixed her gaze on something on her right - the camera now swinging to where she looked and focused on the darkly dressed figure, who held out a hand into her direction.  
Leia gasped: "Ben!"  
Finn and Poe started screaming simultaneously, throwing questions into the room, everybody wanted to know the answers to. "Why is Kylo Ren there? Why is Rey there?  
Why are they in this area? What is happening?"

* * *

Meanwhile in the arena, Kylo managed to free himself from the handcuffs by using the force for bending apart the metal parts, which took longer as he expected as the metal was really hard. He already felt the presence of the beast, before it appeared in the arena but wasn't able to help Rey before his cuffs were gone. He held his breath when he levitated her on top of the pole because he feared he was too slow, but he managed to save her in the last second, just when the Drexl pounded it claws against the stone.  
He breathed out relieved when she stood on top, but saw her wobbling around nearly falling down again from the vibrations the beast sent through the stone from its pounding. _"Don't you fall down!"_ he sent her.  
 _"I am fucking trying not to ok? Get this thing away. Please?"_ she answered while trying to keep her balance.

The crowd booed at this, seemingly pissed off because nobody died yet.

He took the loose chain, from where he was tied up before and whipped it on the floor, screaming at the Drexl, trying to get its attention. It let go of Rey's pole and now charged into Kylo's direction. Kylo let go of the chain and light-footingly jumped onto his own pole. The beast crashed into it and was clawing onto the stone, ripping out big parts of it.  
Kylo used the force to pick up the broken out stones and let them crash on the creatures head. This made the creature confused for a moment, so he jumped down and ran over to Rey, force jumping on top of her pole too. It was hard to stand on top of it with two people, so Kylo pressed Rey's back into his chest and held her tight.  
He yanked up her restrained arms with one hand and hovered with the other one over them, bending the metal from her wrists. It looked like it was pretty hard to do,  
so she watched him in amazement. It took some time as it did with his and the Drexl already stood up again and was crashing its body against their pole, making it shake so much she had trouble standing, to which she yelped and grabbed onto Kylo's hands to keep steady. He felt her trembling hands in his gloved ones and whispered: "You are not helping this situation like that."  
She instantly let go of his hands so he could reach her restrained wrists better again and finally managed to free her.  
Their platform was shaking again, this time so much Rey wondered if it would break down now, but Kylo instantly pulled his arm away from her hands and around her neck, so she wouldn't fall down. His masked head was now right next to hers and he said:  
"Rey. You have to jump down and distract the Drexl somehow. I need to meditate!"

She screamed a high pitched "Are you fucking crazy?" into his face as she turned her head around so her nose touched his mask, but fell silent when he just shoved her down from the pole, where she fell down and landed rudely on her feet. She couldn't believe what he did and more so over what he demands from her, but had to concentrate again, because the creature already started running into her direction. So she did what she was finally able to do again:

She just ran for her life. Ran in fast circles in the arena her sides already aching. The beast followed her closely, gaining speed with every meter, whilst she lost some because of her swindling stamina.

Kylo kneeled himself on the pole, closing his eyes, feeling for his lightsaber. Whilst doing that his mind reached out to Rey the whole time, as he was paying attention to her not being killed. She was doing okayish, but not really good, he just needed some seconds to get his saber.  
He knew their captors took it and still had it in some treasure room near the arena. He searched for it some seconds and finally found the familiar flow of energy sending waves into his direction. His hand instantly shot out and he called for it. It took some seconds but it came flying into his hand from between the spectators, fingers forcefully gripping around it.

Rey lost her speed and her hope, the beast now just two meters behind her, already bashing at her with its big claws. She could always dodge the attacks, but wouldn't last long anymore. When the Drexl finally struck her and sent her flying, she landed on her back as the beast was approaching her screeching and opening its big jaws to rip into her flesh. As there was nowhere to go anymore, she closed her eyes and put an arm over her head waiting to be eaten alive any second, begging Kylo to help her right now through their bond. The crowd already cheered in anticipation of her upcoming death.  
But then she heard a sizzling sound and she felt some flicks of fluid splashing into her face. She opened her eyes and saw the head of the creature crashing down in front of her, Kylo Ren standing on top of it, with his ignited lightsaber.

Apparently, he just beheaded the Drexl, saving her - again.


	9. Chapter 9: Guiding

She gave him a blank look, still frozen from fear about nearly being eaten alive by this monster mere seconds ago. Then she brushed the sleeve of her shirt over her face to get rid of the beasts blood.

 _Why did he have his saber back? How the hell did he get it? I need mine too!_

He jumped down from the Drexl and landed at her feet, outstretching his arm he gestured her to take it. She nodded and stood up with his help, still trembling.

Standing in front of him, she whispered with a raspy voice: "How? How did you get your saber? Please get mine too!"

"You'll get it yourself. Turn around." he twisted her around and tore her arm up rather unpleasantly. She started protesting but stopped when he calmly told her to close her eyes. "Use the force to call for it. I saw where they stored it, I'll show you the place. You have to feel its energy and call for it. It doesn't listen to me. It just listens to your call at this distance. Open your mind to me."  
He held his other hand next to her head, pushing into her mind hard, one more time ordering her to search for it, leading her through the force.  
She could feel his chest being pressed against her back, his breath calmly rattling through the mask. He felt much too close right now again, but this takeover of her mind felt really soothing this time, unlike all the other times he had done it, so she fell relaxed back into him and listened to his voice in her head.

He felt his heart beating a little faster as she leaned against him so relaxed and for once he wished to not wear his helmet as he had the urge to rest his chin on her head.  
But why the hell was he actually thinking that? He brushed that thought away and concentrated on her force again.

With his guidance, she instantly felt much more sensitive to her surroundings and when she closed her eyes she had visions of the different rooms and corridors surrounding the arena. She felt like her mind was flowing through the rooms, going into the direction of her lightsaber.  
Then another vision plopped up, of her slowly eating the chocolate bar back in the ship and she felt a great wave of passion coming up her body.  
She had just accidentally invaded Kylo Ren's mind, like she had back in the interrogation chamber on the finalizer and found something, he probably didn't want her to see.  
"NO! That's not - keep out of my mind!" Kylo snapped at her angrily, pushing her mind away. "Concentrate!"  
"Yeah...you should concentrate too, you know." she mumbled leaving his mind and falling back into the visions of the corridors.  
She finally found the room where she felt the energy most, her gaze jumped to a table at a wall, her lightsaber lying on top of it. "There!" she called out to Kylo.

Another gate opened and several other creatures were let into the arena, which looked like big lizards with teeth as large as human underarms. They started running around wildly while killing some tusken raiders on their way. After they were done with the raiders they detected the two force users and instantly took a run in their direction.  
Kylo started shifting his legs nervously, feeling the creatures coming up and shoved himself into her mind even stronger now: "Call for the saber with all your might - NOW!"  
Rey channeled all her force and concentration on getting the lightsaber into her hand, while Kylo lent her some of his experience to be able to do so.  
The saber came flying through the arena, it went just between the heads of the spectators and landed safely in Rey's outstretched hand.  
The crowd was going nuts over the two force users now having their weapons back awaiting a thrilling fight now.  
The commenters voices fell all over themselves at this turn of events and everyone was waiting tensely for what will happen next.

And Kylo and Rey gave them what they wanted to see.

They danced around the creatures in some gruesome, but strangely artistic way killing them off one by one, sometimes they stood back to back, so they'd be able to protect each other from the attacks. Whilst Rey just stabbed them strategically, so the creatures would die fast, Kylo Ren's style was more mad driven slashing them into a bloody mess, body parts lying all around.  
When they were done killing off all the reptilic beasts, they again stood next to each other panting heavily. She could feel Kylo's angry energy all over the place and she asked out of breath: "What now?"  
"Now - we end this childish game." in the most threatening voice.

He put up his right hand and used the force against the platform, where the commentators and also organizers of this arena fight sat. The whole stand was severed out of the wall, the people standing and sitting on it panicky gripping their stools and each other. He levitated the platform down to the floor in front of Rey and him.  
When it crashed down and the people stumbled to his feet, he just raised his lightsaber and slaughtered them all. As the last guy still stood there, he begged for his life, nearly crying. But Kylo went over to him, put his hand on his head and cut through his neck, like butter. His limp body fell down, whilst Kylo now held his severed head with his outstretched arm.  
Rey watching this whole brutal scene with an open mouth, but she wasn't stopping him unsure of what to do since she also wanted to get out here as fast as possible and these people, the organizers of this whole show were the cruellest people. Didn't they deserve what Kylo did to them? Wasn't it better for everyone?

Kylo raised his voice and screamed at the now super quit stadium: "Playtime is over. We will leave this arena now.  
Anybody who will cross our way will be slaughtered in the most painful way. Look at this headless fool, this could be you too if you dare to move a muscle."  
With this, he threw the head against the broken off platform, where it rolled down for some meters.

Rey was perplexed at this violent demand, but took the chance and just shouted: "Ok. Let's run for it!" then she started sprinting out of the arena with as much strength as she had left. Kylo was right behind her running with his saber still ignited, fully expecting to be attacked on the way. When they ran through the first gate, nobody seemed to follow them, but after some meters they heard some guards shooting at them, luckily Kylo could halt the blasts in mid-air and while turning around he threw his saber in some kind of half circle right into the tusken raiders stomaches, killing them then retrieved it back with the force.  
Rey was astonished at this skill and again had the urge to ask him out about it and felt the need to learn it. But no she wasn't going to take his offer of teaching her.  
Luke will surely show her the same tricks.

The stadium was surrounded by a savanna forest, where they took refuge because it gave them visual cover, so it would be harder to be followed.  
They ran side by side about ten minutes into it, until the shouting and gunshot sounds faded.  
After Rey was sure, she couldn't feel any more presence of their followers, she started getting slower until she stopped. Leaning one arm against a tree, gasping for air.  
Kylo Ren also stopped next to her, panting he pulled down his helmet and threw it on the ground, kneeling down to regain his breath, strands of damp hair were clinging into his face and his eyes darted wildly at hers.  
When she was able to speak again she bubbled out words in pure excitement, circling Kylo whilst doing it. "I thought I'll die! But then - you. I didn't think. The monsters were so big! We had no chance. So many people there! Then I thought I'd die again. I felt the force. I was flying! You made me! We got out! I felt my saber! I levitated it!  
You showed me! And our bond, It was so cool! I feel so strong! I felt the force, like never before! This was so exciting! You saved me! I can't believe we made it out alive!"

She kneeled in front of him after her relieved rambling, still totally pumped with adrenalin she grabbed his colar with both hands and nearly screamed at his shocked face:  
"I could fucking kiss you right now!"


	10. Chapter 10: Liar

He was kneeling in front of her, her hands gripping his collar and she bowed down to him while he already felt her erratic breathing against his face.

"I could fucking kiss you right now!" she nearly screamed into his ears.

He couldn't believe what she had said right now, he was getting so intensely flustered, he thought his heart would explode out of his chest any second. He also had the sudden urge to be near her, to touch her skin, even kiss her, his adrenalin level after the arena fight was equally high as hers. But he felt utterly surprised by her touch and didn't even think about to prevent her from doing so. He looked into her moss-green eyes, seeing tiny flames dancing inside them, faces mere inches away from each other, his gaze seemed to lose focus and slowly wandered away from her eyes down to her lips.

She now kneeled down too in front of him and he felt her knees touching his as she moved her face in his direction, tilting her head a little as her lips were parted slightly.  
He put his left hand on her cheek, pulling her closer his other hand brushed her hip carefully and then placed itself there and dug into her flesh. Her whole body started trembling now, getting more nervous at every second. Kylo tried to get a peek into her mind and just when he entered he could feel waves of excitement and pleasure but also anxiety swirl around her head. When their lips nearly touched, he tilted his head down a little avoiding the kiss by pressing their foreheads against each other.  
While doing this, he also pulled her closer to him, pressing her body against his chest.  
It was an utterly intimate gesture, and she abruptly realized just how close they were in this position. She felt fear crawling up her spine, but also curiosity and the will to break apart his dark facade and to find out who was hiding behind the mask of terror. She knew she shouldn't do this, but for some reason which wasn't just lusting,  
her whole body screamed to be near him right now.

"You don't want this. Don't do it. Please." he nearly whimpered into her ear, the last word so faintly she nearly overheard it. Whilst cupping her face with both hands,  
he separated their faces a little, so he could look into her eyes again. Her gaze darted back to him and he could see something inside them. Was it fear? Rejection? Compassion? He couldn't make it out, but it his chest stung from the look she gave him.

There was so much energy playing around them, the air felt electric, Reys hair on her neck stood up. He probably was right and it was the dumbest idea in the history of the galaxy, just thinking about kissing him. Of course, she shouldn't do this. But apart from logical thinking, his dark beautiful eyes which bored into her, his thumb lightly caressing her cheek, their bodies radiating of heat and their force aura against each other, quite didn't help her in deciding not to instantly crush her face into his.  
But she blinked several times trying to get herself together again and pressed out in a soothing but still agitated voice:

"You don't have to fight everything. Sometimes you can just be yourself."

He followed the trail of his thumb with his eyes, which was now wandering down to her lip. He brushed it gently, but then looked up into her eyes again and said:  
"That's the point where you should be afraid of. Being myself means being in an endless spiral of violence and tearing myself and others apart. There is nothing good left."

With this he stood up and left her on the ground, feeling a little shaky from this intense situation, so he turned around to not look at her anymore.  
She also came up to her feet again and stomped angrily past him as her shoulder crushed deliberately into his, deeper into the forest.  
"You are the worst fucking liar!" she screamed over her shoulder, sounding angry but also...dissapointed?

He stood there perplexed by her reaction, watching her kicking at branches and plants which crossed her way. He wasn't sure what she meant by her last sentence.  
He didn't feel like he had lied to her. He opened his mouth slightly, wanting to ask her about it but at this moment she ignited her saber and slashed through the wood, burning a corridor into the plants.  
So he instantly decided against it and just picked up his helmet and silently walked some meters behind her, pondering about what she was meaning with her words.

They walked like this for some minutes, he felt her rage dripping away with every meter. Finally she shut off the saber and started walking normally without kicking and smashing around. She slowed down her pace just a little bit and he felt insecurity crawling up to her. He knew what was causing this and caught up with her, a small smirk playing on his lip. As she realized him walking next to her, she stood still and looked at him pissed, crossing her arms over her chest.  
"We are walking in the wrong direction. Don't we? You could have said so before if you knew already!" she huffed at him.

"To miss out on the show of you destroying the forest? No, I wouldn't dare to disturb you giving in to your anger." he said in a slightly amused voice.  
"You are unbelievable!" she called out to him and closed her eyes to try to find their ship through the force like he showed her just one day ago.  
Of course, it was in the complete opposite direction of where they ran when they fleed from the arena. Also, it was pretty far away if they'd go by foot it would take about two days to reach it.  
Throwing her arms into the air she exclaimed: "This is some bantha shit! I would love to not get kidnapped again and just reach this goddamn ship now without any interferences nor with walking a hundred kilometres around in the desert! Is this too much to ask for? I am thirsty as hell and you drive me crazy with your smugness!"

He felt even more confirmed by her little outburst but tried not to say something about it to infuriate her any further. He just nodded in the direction she walked before and said in his usual deep voice: "Let's keep going where your gut told you to go first. It was right. There, you will find what you are looking for."  
She didn't quite understand what he meant by this cryptical statement and looked at him questioningly. "Go! Trust your instincts!" he ordered her. She wanted to complain, but he already started walking again, so she followed. After what felt like an hour the trees opened up and they reached a clearance with a big pond in the middle. Around it was a bantha herd resting on the ground, sleeping peacefully. Rey gasped at this sight and looked excitedly between Kylo Ren and the pond back and forth. Before he could say something she already started running like crazy to the water, ripping her shoes and parts of her clothes off leaving a trail of her belongings and also the saber on the way to the pond.

The banthas around the pond were startled a bit by her splashing into the water, but didn't mind much and fell back to sleep instantly.  
Kylo, bewildered by her action followed her hesitantly and at least picked up her lightsaber on the way. When he reached the water's edge, he kneeled down and put his helmet upside down on the ground and laid their two sabers into it.  
He also put away his gloves and started to silently draw circles with his now naked index finger on the water surface.

She paddled over and took a halt about two meters before him. "I bet you never have any fun when you are with the First Order, don't you?"  
He looked up a little puzzled and asked: "Why should I have fun there?"  
Then she raised her arms and tried to make the biggest wave possible into his direction, trying to splash it all over him. He just put his hand away from the water surface and tipped three fingers up, holding all the water she splashed in his direction frozen in mid-air.  
He now had a big wave dangerously close above his head, water dripping down from it, but apart from that, there was no movement in it.  
She started to crazily laugh at this and splashed more water in his direction, each one was held up by his force. After the seventh time, he abruptly stood up and bellowed in her direction: "So you want to fight? You'll get a fight!" Her laughter instantly faltered, waiting for what will happen next, not knowing if he was pissed or determined to have a splashing contest with her. With a quick move of his right hand, he let all the water she already splashed in his direction turn around which now flying back in her face.  
She could just let out something between a scream and joyful squeaking before the masses of water poured down her head, sending her under the surface.

When she emerged from the water she instantly wanted to boost her splashing with the force too, which she now tried and surprisingly succeeded when a big wave came crashing into Kylo's direction. Of course, he was fast enough to freeze it and sent it right back to her. They continued doing this for some time and she was having this maniac giggling going on as she wasn't believing that she would ever see Kylo Ren having a game of "Who can splash more water on the other one's head."  
She thought she also saw a small smile playing on his lips, but couldn't make it out, because of the next wave crashing down on her.  
After the last wave, which dipped her head under again, she emerged and screamed a "Time out!" between breaths and swam in his direction.

He just stood there, completely dry, without a drop of water ever reaching him from her splashing and cockily said that she should train her stamina more,  
if she ever wants to become a jedi.  
She just scoffed at this and walked out of the water, now standing face to face with him. He watched the water trickle down her chin vanishing somewhere between her neckline, her clothes now clinging a little bit transparent to her body, which showed her physique better. She was just beautiful at this moment and he couldn't help but stare at her, taking in every second of this into his memory.  
"You know, if you wouldn't be a self-destructive maniac, who leaves a trail of death behind him most of the time, you wouldn't be half so bad to hang out with." she said and squeezed her index finger tauntingly into his chest, laughing whilst doing so. He took her hand away from his body and put it down. "I am bad to hang out with.  
So don't bother, trying to find something positive about it." he said in a deep, sinister voice.

"Come on, not this again." she mused at him with a raised eyebrow. He shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't know what she meant by this statement.

First, she wanted to berate him, how he actually wasn't as evil inside as he thought of himself and that he had so much light left, but instead she decided to do something else, so she asked him: "Would you care to join me in the water? I would like to have one moment of peace with you before everything will turn to shit again when we go back to your ship." He took a step backwards and she could see the fight in his eyes, almost looking like he was going to have one of his temper tantrums again, but then he closed his eyes a second and opened them again, his expression had changed to something else like he found his center again and he plainly answered: "Okay."

She nodded and went back into the water, swimming around, waiting for him to join her. He kicked off his boots and took off some of his heavier clothing, which he neatly folded together and laid down next to his helmet. When he stepped into the water, small waved surrounded him. At some point he closed his eyes and just let himself float on his back above the water surface. Rey was totally fascinated by this, as she always felt his aura flowing around him in some kind of angry waves, but now it felt like it wasn't even there and she had never seen him this peaceful. There was the famous Kylo Ren she fought against to near death, who killed others without hesitation, commander of the First Order, silently floating in the water, gazing at the clouds just metres away from her seemingly at peace. This image will burn in her memory forever as this proof enough for her, that he was not an angry maniac as everyone believed he was.  
But suddenly a deep sadness overcame her, for which she knew it wasn't her own. As she was paddling around in the pond, through their bond she tried to have a glimpse into his mind to find out what was causing it.

As she reached it, she saw pictures and flashes of the scene where Han Solo died at the hands of Kylo's sword. It repeated again and again, the last moments of his father looking at him, betrayal in his eyes.  
"Stop it." he said in an unusual silent way, not opening his eyes, nor looking at her. She knew what he meant and just let herself float on the water too. "I'm sorry." she stated. They pretty much floated next to each other now, she turned her head to him and asked: "Do you feel regret?"

He opened his eyes and now turned his head to her, looking at her in a way she could see his sadness and frustration playing within his expression.  
"Do you want to see it?" he asked in a serious but quiet voice. "Yes. Show me." she answered so silent, he barely heard it. As they were floating next to each other, he held out his left arm and brushed his fingers against her temple, giving her visions of everything she needs to see to understand what happened at the day, he killed his father.

 _At first she felt dizzy, like she was behind a wall of fog. But everything became clearer after some seconds and she found herself in a big hall on a First Order ship.  
Kylo Ren was kneeling on the floor, his helmet clutched under his right arm. He looked much younger, maybe about eighteen, his hair a little shorter than it is now.  
In front of him, sat a big figure talking to him. There was another person in the room, being thrown on the floor by two stormtroopers. "Supreme Leader Snoke. I brought you the resistance pilot, which infiltrated our station and gave out sensitive information to the rebels." Kylo said, not looking up to his leader._  
 _"Well well. You did_ good _. As a reward, you are allowed to watch him die."_  
 _Snoke raised his hand and the pilot started screaming in total agony. Blood seeped out from his ears and mouth, his eyes were ripped wide open like they would fall out any moment. He writhed himself on the floor, rolling around like if he was on fire trying to extinguish it. His screams became more frantic with every second and he started to gurgle because of the blood in his lungs. After what felt like an eternity, his arms dropped to the sides into the puddle of blood right under his body, small drops splashed in the air and landed on Kylo Ren's face, but he didn't even flinch._

 _The scene was finished and several similar scenes flashed up before Rey's eyes, sometimes Kylo brought in the people who were tortured by Snoke, sometimes Hux._  
 _Sometimes it was just one person, sometimes there was a group of people, bathing in their own blood, pleading for salvation to avoid any more pain. It were the most gruesome scenes she ever witnessed in her life. Never has she seen people suffer like this, even if it was just a vision, she could feel their pain,_ fear _and agony._  
 _She saw about twenty of such scenes in a fast-forwarded way, spiraling around her vision, Kylo looking older every_ time, _until he reached the age like she knows him right now._ _Again he kneeled in the big hall in front of his leader._  
 _"Kylo Ren. Your training is nearly completed. But you still have this weakness which keeps you from fulfilling your destiny. I want you to find and kill them both."_  
 _Snoke said in the most threatening voice, bowing down from his chair to have a better view on Kylo Ren's face._

 _"My parents are not distracting me from my duties to the First Order. I do not care for them. I can fulfill my destiny anyway."_  
 _Kylo said in a steady voice, still not looking in his master's eyes._  
 _"And with you just opposing my order, your weakness shows again. It seems I have to kill them myself." Snoke angrily screamed as he sent a bolt of force lightning at Kylo, who was hit by it and instantly flew backwards some metres. He groaned and pressed himself up, obviously in pain right now but he gritted his teeth together to not show it.  
_  
 _Kylo's head now shot up, there was the slightest bit of panic in his eyes. "No supreme leader Snoke. I will do it myself. There won't be any weakness in me left after their death."_ _"Well. As you wish. Fulfil your task and come back to me, once you've killed them. Show me you are worth your training or you and your dirty rebel scums of parents will bitterly regret it." Snoke dismissed him with a wave of his hand and Kylo put on his helmet, rushing out of the hall. He went into his room, pulled out his saber and slashed everything which came into his vision, totally demolishing the room whilst screaming the whole time._  
 _In the end, when everything was broken, he ripped the helmet off his head and threw it on the floor in such a way it broke into two halves and made a dent in the ground._  
 _He fell down on his knees panting. She couldn't see his face then, just his back. But she heard silent sobs coming from his figure.  
_  
 _The next scene in the vision was something she remembered because she was there herself. It was the scene on Starkiller base, where she stood with Finn on a platform, Han Solo with his son on the bridge. Kylo and Han stood in front of each other, both gripping the lightsaber in their hands. Kylo activated it and mouthed a "Thank you." before Han Solo fell down dead into the black abyss. She felt the stab in Kylo's heart at this moment so strong it felt like he put the lightsaber through his chest and not Han's. Then came Chewbacca's shot and the vision started to fade._

Everything went black and Rey knew, that Kylo just shut off his mind and that he was done showing her, what she needed to know. Rey was in the present again still floating in the pond, tears flowing down her face and she couldn't believe what she just saw. He saved Han Solo from the most gruesome death by Snokes hand, by killing his father himself. He pulled his arm away from her temple and silently looked up into the sky. She could feel his heart ache with regret and pain, his emotions radiating all over the place. She closed the distance between them and squeezed his arm in a reassuring way. He moved into an upright position and looked deeply into her eyes, searching for some kind of forgiveness or release. She put up her hand and cupped his face, much like Han Solo did in his last moments. He leaned into it barely noticeable and closed his eyes, his face looked deeply troubled and in pain. She pulled him closer to her and crashed their bodies together, giving him the longest and heartfelt hug, Kylo Ren ever received in his whole life.


	11. Chapter 11: Deal

They floated in the water in a deep embrace for what felt like hours. Tears were flowing down Rey's face, as she tried to soak up all his pain, even if she knew there was too much that has happened and nobody could ever relieve him from the things he had seen and done.  
Kylo Ren was just stiff, letting her hold him the whole time. But after a minute or two, he at least put his right hand on her hip and let his thumb draw small circles on her skin.  
When her crying stopped, she slowly pulled herself away from him, still holding both arms around his neck. They watched each other, their glances silently communicating an understanding of their connection.  
Her hands wandered to his cheeks, now cupping his face on both sides, she pulled his head closer to hers, not kissing him, but putting their foreheads against each other,  
like he did before to her.

"I am so sorry. I believe you. I can feel your pain." she whispered directly into his ear, as her lips brushed his skin where she talked. This sent shivers down his body and he embraced her even more.

They stayed like this for a couple of seconds, then he slowly started to push her away with both hands. She let him and he just stated drily, that they have to go back now before it's getting dark in some hours. She nodded and swam to the shore, pulling on her clothes again. He did the same, but flinched for a second when she took both sabers out of his helmet. She inspected his sword for a short time and just when he opened his mouth to say something, she let it flew over to him, where it safely landed in his palm. She gave him a small grin and picked up his helmet, walking over and putting it in his other hand.

"So after I feel refreshed, we still need to have some kind of transportation. I'd take these bantha's here, but they are wild and not trained to be ridden.  
So I guess it won't work." she stated, finger pointing over to the sleeping bantha herd.  
"We can change that." Kylo said, walking with big steps in their direction. He pulled up his right arm and aimed it at one of the banthas. She called out: "Don't hurt them!" but she felt no anger in him, so she guessed he wouldn't hurt them anyway. The bantha to whom he pointed his hand, suddenly stood up from his sleeping position and kneeled down in front of Kylo Ren, waiting patiently for him to mount the beast.

Rey was amazed by this. _Of_ course _you can use mind tricks on animals too! I didn't know this would work.  
_ She thought and was happy again to have Kylo with her, who already was so experienced in the ways of the force.  
They both climbed onto the bantha and it started to stomp through the forest with them on their backs. When she grabbed Kylo's sides this time, to hold onto him while they rode the big mammal, he didn't flinch as he did on the speeder and she wasn't disgusted but more so over at ease when she touched him.  
It took an hour to for them to reach the desert again and several more hours to reach the ship. The sun was burning down on their skin, drying their clothes fast and Kylo pulled off and his cape and threw it over both their heads to avoid the sun. For some reason, it kept them cool, even if its colour was black and should normally work like a magnet to the sun. They sat really close together in their small tentlike space and watched each other. Rey's heart was beating like crazy for some reason as he watched her.

Whilst being carried on the banthas back, they talked about everything which came into their mind. For example how Kylo not already has died from heatstroke wearing all black in the desert.  
Funnily he explained her the exact technique which was used in the fabrics for his whole outfit, which was surprisingly made with high technology, to always keep him at the right temperature never minding the weather.  
She told him some things from Jakku and how much this planet reminded her of it. Also some stories about how she earned money from scavenging and how she learned to defend herself from robbers. She told him how she crashed and what the creatures did to her, but avoided to tell him, where she was planning to go with her ship originally.  
Kylo Ren listened to her and sometimes commented it, or told her some non-vital information about himself or the First Order.  
Like, that they serve spinach twice a month in the cantina and that's always the day, where he doesn't eat anything, except for the chocolate bars he specifically treasures for this day.  
She had to laugh at this, holding her belly and nearly rolled off the bantha, tears gathering in her eyes. Something between their connection to each other has changed since he showed her the visions in the pond. He talked more freely and she couldn't feel too much anger radiating from him anymore.  
She liked that side of him a lot and wished him to stay at peace like this forever. But she knew it just needs one drop, one small event, to pull him back into the darkness, driving him insane with pain, destroying everything around him. So she just enjoyed the hours of peaceful talking and was thankful for his trust in her.

When they reached the ship, it was already starting to get dark. Luckily this time nothing from the TIE fighter seemed to be stolen and it looked like, they could try starting it right now. Which gave Rey chills, because last time they were here, he said, he wanted to take her to the First Order.  
Kylo and Rey jumped down from the bantha and he put a hand to its head. It instantly turned around and started to run into the direction they came from. "What did you do?" she asked. "I showed it the way back to his herd and ordered it to go there." he answered.  
"That's surprisingly kind of you." she grinned.

She entered the ship and searched for the water bottles. When she found them, she gulped down a lot and also ate some fruits they picked up before they were kidnapped, which still laid in a small container on the floor.  
Kylo sat on the sofa and also took a fruit in his hands, silently chewing on it. After he was nearly done, he smashed it on the table.  
Rey was startled by it and nearly dropped her apple from the noise. "What is it?" she asked confused.  
"I thought about what you said to me, the last time we were here. You told me you would rather die, than going back to the First Order.  
I want to propose a deal." he pressed out between gritted teeth, his eyes boring into hers.

"Oooookay. So. Out with it!" she asked seemingly surprised by the offer, still nibbling on her apple.  
He started to draw circles with his fingers on the table in front of him, watching them like it was the most interesting thing he has ever seen.  
 _Does he always do that when he is nervous? I have to observe that better. He had done it at the pond too._ She told herself.  
"I know you wanted to go to Luke Skywalker with your ship, before your crash. I need to meet him. As a matter of fact, at first, I wanted to take you back to the First Order to rip the map out of your mind. But...we don't have to do it like that. We could just go there together and meet the Jedi."  
Now he finally looked up from his fingers, the nervous circling also came to an abrupt stop on the table.  
He searched for an answer in her eyes, waiting for her to reply.

"You must be crazy, if you think, I would lead you to Luke!" she screamed and jumped up. "I know, that Snoke forced you to kill others.  
But I won't let you kill Luke! This offer of yours, I can not agree with it!"

"I will not kill Skywalker. Maybe in self-defence, if he decides to attack me. But I do not seek him out, to kill him." he stated.

"First: I don't believe you. And second: What else would you want there?" she asked trying to push her mind into his head.

"I can not tell what I seek from him. But it's whether his death nor do I want to inflict pain on him or anything else what would affect him negatively.  
I will allow you to search my mind if you don't believe my words."  
She felt him opening up to her and she instantly dived into his head, searching for any clue about him lying, or Snoke controlling his plan, whatever it was. She didn't find any anger or intend to kill the Jedi, but also didn't find out why he wanted to see his old master because he intentionally blocked this part from her.

She sat down again and pondered a moment about it, turning her half-eaten apple around in her hand, thinking about every possible outcome for this situation. Finally, she made up her mind and looked over at him, where he patiently waited for her answer.

"I will allow you to fly with me to Luke Skywalker. If I ever see you raise your hand against him or so much as to think of hurting him, I will kill you without hesitation."

He just nodded and opened their bond again, to send her a silent _"Thank you."_ as an agreement to their deal.


	12. Chapter 12: Impossible

"But - there is one more thing about the deal for me, to be able to agree on. You need to let me contact Finn and Leia. I need to tell them, I am safe.  
They must be worried sick about my disappearance." she demanded.

"No way!" he said crossing his arms over his chest.

"Ok. Then I am sorry to tell you, that we have to stay on this planet forever, because I will never tell you the location of Luke Skywalker then. Also, I'll trash the deflector shield again as you don't know how to repair it.  
I guess we should start to look for work here and maybe rent a house, or at least find something bigger than this ship.  
And no I'm not staying home, cooking meals for you when you come back from your shift at some restaurant as a bartender,  
I think you are in the position to cook me a meal when I come back from work, since it's entirely your fault, we have to stay here till we die from old age.  
Also, I want to have a Voorpak as a pet. Or maybe two. I heard they are pretty sweet and fluffy." she bubbled out gesturing wildly with her hands, trying to unnerve him in the worst possible way.

"Ok. STOP!" He put up his hands as in ordering her to shut up. "Really. Stop it! You are crazy. Contact your so-called friends. But if you tell them anything about what had happened here, what I showed you or any other vital information you might acquired by now, I will destroy the communication device instantly.  
I'll watch the transmission closely." he paused for a moment. "And no. You won't get a Voorpak. They stink."

She had to laugh at his comment about the pets, as it sounded like he was okay, with everything else she said.  
It was a strange situation, as she could imagine herself now, coming home from a day's hard work,  
while Kylo waited with a bowl full of chocolate bars for her.  
He saw her image of him with the bars flashing up before his eyes and his face grimaced holding back a laughter.  
"Absolutely not!" he told her in the most serious voice he was able to manage right now.

When she was done laughing, she went to the cockpit and searched for the communication device. She typed in some numbers and hesitated before pressing the button to call. "Kylo? The First Order - are they able to track this call?"  
He watched her closely but shook his head. "No. Before I came here, I destroyed all tracking devices on the ship, as my mission wasn't authorized by anyone and I didn't want anybody to find out either."  
"Oh okay. So nobody knows you are here? That's good - I guess. Okay - then I'll call them now."  
With that, she pressed the button to call and waited for them to receive it.

A small hologram opened up and she could see a resistance officer. When he saw, who called he panicked and screamed into the room for everybody to come over. "It's Rey guys! It's Rey! Come here fast!" After some seconds, there were also the heads of Leia, Finn and Poe, all pressing themselves against each other to see Rey and be seen on her hologram. Finn screamed at her: "REY! REY! Are you okay? Where are you exactly? We saw you on TV!  
What happened? Are you hurt? Rey tell me! Are you safe?"  
"Eh what? I was on TV?" She turned around to face Kylo, who was leaning against the wall next to her, but wasn't in the field of view from the camera.  
He just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what Finn meant by the TV comment.  
"Yeah you were! Fighting in this arena! Is this monster still with you? Are you his hostage? Did he hurt you? I will kill this motherf..." "FINN! Enough!" Leia called him out, pushing her face more into the focus of the hologram.

"Rey I need to know if you are safe. We already sent ships to Koraha. They shall arrive tomorrow morning in your time. We will get you out of there.  
Is...Is Ben with you?"  
Rey turned around and looked over to Kylo who just stared at her intensely. "Yes. He is. Also, we are safe. You do not have to worry about me...or him.  
I will continue my mission to visit Luke Skywalker immediately. You can call your ships back, I will leave this planet tonight." she answered.  
When Rey told her that her son is with her, Leia gasped and tears gathered in her eyes. "Would...would you bring him here? I would like to see him.  
I'd like to see my son." Leia said with a broken voice.

Rey turned around again, facing Kylo. He had the darkest expression on his face and just shook his head.  
"I am sorry Leia. He won't talk to you. But he can hear you right now."  
Finn screamed into the hologram again: "Rey! If he threatens you to say all of this, just blink two times! We will get you out!"  
Rey slapped her hand on her forehead. "Finn, even if he would be threatening me right now, which he doesn't, then he would surely know I am sending you hidden messages via blinking. Think about it for a second!  
She took a deep breath and started to explain: "Leia, we will fly to Luke together. I know what you think, but he won't hurt or kill him. We made a deal.  
He promised me. And also," she paused and took a look over her shoulder to Kylo again. "I have no other choice in this matter."

Poe Dameron pressed his face into the hologram field. "So he crawled his way into your heart and now you suffer from some kind of stockholm syndrome? And you want to lead him to Skywalker so he can finish what he started and kill him too? Girl this is some bad shit you got yourself into.  
Why don't you wait there, till our ships arrive and save you?"

Kylo was getting unnerved by this whole dialogue and he already raised his hand, to interrupt it. But Rey instantly saw what he wanted to do, stood up and screamed into his direction: "NO Kylo NO! Stop it, I'm not done yet!"  
He grudgingly put down his hand and looked at her in the most worked up way, crossing his arms again waiting for her to finally be finished.  
"REY! REY! What is happening? Don't hurt her asshole!" Finn screamed.  
She glowered in Kylo's direction and when she was sure he wouldn't do anything to interrupt her communication, she sat down again and huffed.  
"Sorry for this. We still have to...discuss some things...about who orders who around."  
Leia took the word again: "So you two will go to Luke. Will you promise me, that no one get's hurt by this? Please Rey promise me."  
Rey nodded: I'll give you my word. Nobody get's hurt."  
Leia sighed: "Also. Ben. I know you can hear me. I know what you did to Han. I want to let you know, it hurts so much. But I still love you. You are my son and you will always be. Please come back and we can talk about everything. Please. I love you with all my heart." then she lost her voice and held her hand in front of her face,  
tears streaming down her face. Finn patted her back reassuringly.

"Thank you for your trust Leia. Finn, Poe don't worry about me. I am alright. I'll let you know, when I reach the other planet. Please do not come after me.  
This is an order. I mean it.  
Leia I will bring Luke back to you. And...don't worry about...Ben. He is...doing well too."  
Kylo pushed himself angrily from the wall, taking some steps in her direction, gesturing her to stop talking. She looked stressed into the camera again:  
"I need to go now. Don't worry, I love you all, you will hear from me soon." With that, she turned the hologram off and looked into Kylo's eyes, who now stood in front of her, emitting waves of pure rage. "Kylo, its alright. I didn't tell any vital pieces of information as we agreed on and your mother is just conc..."  
"NO!" he interrupted her. "I don't care what general Leia is. You do not tell her anything about me ever again.  
Are we clear about this?" he yelled at her.

Tears started gathering in her eyes. She knew Kylo had much anger in him. But she was already used to him being friendly to her, at least for the last couple of hours. So this sudden outburst hurt her. But she gathered her courage and tried to stand as tall as she was able to in front of him, holding his piercing gaze stubbornly. She still was two heads smaller, but this didn't keep her from trying to intimidate him.  
For some seconds they stood just centimeters apart from each other, again their glances fighting a silent fight of who will have the upper hand in this discussion. He lost the fight the second his eyes wandered down to her lips. Rey saw that and her face went all red, as she also saw through their bond what he was thinking, which wasn't exactly innocent and she also started to feel a tingling sensation in her stomach. As images of them rolling around on the floor, kissing each other passionately flashed her mind,  
what must have been Kylo's thoughts right now, or were it hers? She didn't know anymore, she felt her pants starting to feel moist, which made her face redder if this was even possible anymore. She took a step back and stuttered with a shaky voice. "You...you should back off. I...You shouldn't stand near me like that. It makes me...nervous."

"Is that so?" he took a step, closing the gap between them again. His right hand came up to her face, where it rested on her chin. His thumb stroked her bottom lip and he pushed it into her mouth a little bit so the top got wet as he drew his finger down, letting her lip plop back into place. She let him do this, feeling frozen to the point, even if she knew he didn't use the force on her right now.  
For some reason, he wasn't wearing his gloves and she could taste the saltiness of his fingertip. When he trailed his wet thumb slowly down her chin and drew small circles and curved lines on her neck and went deeper to her chest between the line of her breasts but was stopped from her shirt before going any further, she thought she would go mad from his touch, being so aroused she couldn't take it any longer. She let out a small moan, which nearly put him over the edge too. But he pulled himself together,  
his dazy glance wandering back to her slightly opened lips again then to her eyes, he retracted his hand from her body and said:

"You are fucking impossible!"

Then he instantly turned around and left the ship through the open door.


	13. Chapter 13: Oblivion

She just stood there, mouth agape trying to comprehend what just happened between them. Still feeling his finger on her neck, she touched the spot where he had stopped, right between her breasts. It was still wet. A shudder ran down her spine and she was a little bit disappointed that he stopped there.

When she collected her mind again she tried to make herself busy by testing the systems of the ship. She saw from a blinking monitor, that the ship wouldn't start because something was blocking the engines. As the TIE fighter was halfway buried under the sand from the last sandstorms, she guessed this would be the problem.  
 _Great. I have to go out now._ _Surely he will be there, still looking captivating as fuck. Stars will shine on his face, making his eyes glow even more alluring and all - Ok Stop it. Now! Stop thinking about him like that. What's wrong with you? He still is the enemy. Keep that in mind!_ She had this little discussion in her head, totally convincing herself to not squeal like a little girl when she will see him outside.

She inhaled deeply and moved out of the ship, looking around. But she didn't see him, so she just went around it to the engines.  
Of course, he kneeled there in his usual black robes, looking even more handsome than normally,  
with the double-moonlight now glistened on his pale face.  
He was plugging in some cables above the engines, just where she actually wanted to go to check. So she stood there watched him, not knowing what to say.  
He noticed her presence and turned his head in her direction.  
"So you calmed down already?" he asked smirking at her.  
"Me? I don't think I am the only one who had to calm down. Whatever this is with us two. It's messing with my head. A lot.  
We shouldn't do anything involving touching or standing close to each other. Or looking at each other. Or whatever. I don't know."  
She threw her hands in the air feeling frustrated.

He stopped fumbling with the cables, looked down, then again to her:  
"As much as I'd like to fuck you into oblivion right now and hear you moan all over the desert, you are right and it's probably the worst idea for us to hook up.  
Let's just - follow our chores and go to Skywalker already."

Her face went red all the way again and she held one hand to her burning cheek right now.

"You. Did. Not. Just. Say. That! Oh, maker. I'll just pretend you didn't say that. Ever.

I've got the feeling it was easier when we tried to kill each other!"

 _Ok, Rey get it together. Ok. Don't think about what he just said. Did he really mean this? Like he would like to sleep with me? He shouldn't want this at all. But wait.  
Do I want this? No! Of course not. Maybe not. Maker what am I thinking right now. This is crazy! Get yourself together!_

"So actually I came here to check the engines. They won't work because they are too deep in the sand. Also, there were cables loose, but you already fixed that I guess."

He had to snort when he saw her reaction about saying out loud what was going on between them.  
"Yep. I thought so. That's why I'm gonna pull up the ship now. Or do you want to try it?"  
"What? No, you are kidding me. With the force? Not possible. It's too heavy." she said with raised eyebrows.  
"You could move even bigger and heavier things when you are trained. Give it a try. I'll guide you."

Her eyes grew big, as she remembered Kylo breaking down the whole metal platform in the arena. "Ok. I'll try. But no touching."  
He nodded, a small smile playing alongside his lips. "No touching. Just teaching."

"Exactly! So what do I do?" she asked, positioning herself in front of the ship.  
"You have to imagine the force being all around us. Do not think about the size of the ship. It doesn't matter. You have to feel the force in everything here. The sand, the plants, the rocks, me, you and also the air between the ship and the sand. It is an ally to you, which helps you to move objects with your mind." he told her, sounding totally serene while doing so.  
She closed her eyes, trying to imagine what Kylo told her. She imagined moving the space between the ship and the sand. The ship didn't budge a bit.  
But there certainly was movement in the sand.

"You are doing good. Now do not concentrate on just one thing. You have to imagine everything being connected. Also, keep your mind focused on all the other small things around you. Feel how they would behave if the ship would move."  
She blinked at him, then looked at the ship. "Uhm. Okay." She held out her hand again and tried. The ship stirred a little and small stones started to levitate around it.  
After her arm started to shake from the tension, she dropped it down frustrated.  
"You used your muscles, didn't you? You do not need them when using the force." he explained.  
"But how shall I lift it without straining my arm?" she asked confused.

"It's all up here." he said, tipping with his index finger against his head.  
She tried again and again and again. She was able to move the small rocks around it and kept the ship stirring, but nothing more happened.  
After endless tries, she let herself plop into the sand, dissatisfied with herself. "I can't do it." she just stated.  
He sat down next to her at looked at the ship. "Can I break the 'no touch' rule a little? Nothing sexual. I am serious. I want to teach you."  
She was sceptical but agreed. He shuffled closer to her, still sitting on the ground, one leg angled up he raised his right arm with an open hand, pointing into the direction of the ship and laid it on top of his knee. "Put your hand on mine. I'll let the force flow through you whilst lifting it up."

She did as he said and nodded, placing her palm on the back of his outstretched hand, signalling for him to start.

Rey could instantly feel heat going through her hand, which felt like flowing out of her, but stimulatingly also staying in there. She felt like her senses were super sensitive and she could see every grain of sand, every blade of grass, hear every noise from every bug around them. She could feel the energy radiating from Kylo and herself and she also felt the metallic surface of the ship and heard the noise of the air blowing the grains of sand in between the small cracks from the ship. The TIE fighter started to shake a little but then started to ascend from the sand, now fully levitating in the air.  
Slowly Kylo lowered it again, where it landed softly on the ground. For Rey it felt like everything happened in slow motion, but it just took them some seconds. She still had her palm on his hand and turned her head to face him, looking totally stunned.  
"That was amazing. I could feel just everything at the same time! Now I understand what you meant. It's incredible!" she closed her fingers around his hand, silently brushing her thumb alongside the sides while looking back to the ship in disbelief.

He felt his heart pounding heavily in his chest from just holding hands and watching her totally astonished face. He absorbed her features and felt there was something developing inside of him since he saw her the first time, of what he was scared to allow himself for years. But maybe his mind was so weak now anyway, it didn't matter anymore if he develops feeling for other living beings, or to be exact - for her.


	14. Chapter 14: Laughing

They sat there for a while, silently watching the two moons above their heads, while she held Kylo's hand, brushing her thumb against the sides.  
He couldn't remember anyone ever holding his hand like that, so he just enjoyed the feeling it gave him.  
After some time, she let his hand go and plopped down on her back into the sand.  
She started fumbling with the fabric of his cape like she was nervous somehow and mumbled:  
"Kylo. I don't know about you but I would like for nobody to get hurt right now. Not Luke, not my friends, neither you or me.  
I know you are in pain. Always. I am sorry for that.  
I like the way it is right now between us. Not being scared of each other. Not fearing to be killed by the other person.  
Actually, you are a really kind, caring person behind that dark shell of yours. I didn't know that before we had this kind of bond.  
I guess nobody in the whole galaxy knows that. We have this incredible connection and I am thankful for it. I am sorry your whole life is fucked up like that.  
But I'd like to stay on your side, I'd like for you to teach me more about the force and I'd like for you to be free of your pain." She propped herself up on her hands again to look at him. "Actually I would love to see you laugh from the core of your heart someday." she looked at him expectantly, awaiting an answer.

He looked at her like he had seen a ghost like he didn't understand one word she just told him.  
"I...uhm. I..." he abruptly stood up. "I promise I will not hurt you ever again. But do not feel compassion for me. It will destroy you in the end."  
With that being said, he walked to the ship and entered it. She sat there perplexed thinking about his words. _Did Kylo Ren just stutter from nervousness?  
When will he ever accept it if people tell him, they are concerned for him?  
_She also stood up, took one last look to the desert and entered the ship too.  
Kylo already sat in the pilot's chair, testing the all the systems of the fighter ship.

"So. Where is Luke Skywalker? he asked without turning around, finally getting the answer he was looking for the whole time.  
"He is on Ahch-To. It's a water planet in the Inner Rim."  
Kylo now turned around, looking at her totally surprised with raised eyebrows. "Inner Rim? Are you sure?  
Surely the First Order would have found it by now!"  
"Yeah, but not if the planet isn't on any digital map ever. At the resistance base we also looked for the planet in every archives and maps we could get our hands on.  
We found it nowhere. But it is marked on the map from the BB Unit and it fits perfectly with the other part we already had."  
She explained, feeling it surprisingly easy to tell Kylo Ren about all of this. She wouldn't have done this some days ago.  
He put a hand to his mouth contemplating her words. "So it means we might be flying to a planet which doesn't exist?  
And where did you get the other part from?"

"No. I don't think so. R2D2 had the other part of the map. He revealed it the moment the part from BB 8 was shown. If you would have succeeded in getting the map from me back then, when I was kidnapped by you it wouldn't have shown you anything useful at all. You would have needed both parts."  
she triumphantly stated.

"Sweetheart we already had the other part." he snorted at her little triumph. She went red and growled: "By the maker, please never call me sweetheart again!"  
"Alright, then I'll stay with scavenger." he smirked at her. She groaned in feigned annoyance at that and rolled her eyes.

"So R2 had it? Then it must also be correct. He always was his faithful companion." he paused and pondered a moment again.  
"Can I see the whole map - _scavenger?_ He jokingly added. "I need the exact coordinates."  
She backed off slightly as the last time he did penetrate her mind for the map it didn't feel pleasant at all.  
Her thoughts echoed in his mind and he tried to reassure her: "I'll be gentle. It will feel pleasant this time."

"That sounded absolutely sexual you know?" she said as she crossed her arms and darted her eyes at his.  
He blinked two times as this wasn't his intention as thought about his words again and admitted she was right. Nonetheless, he grinned mischievously:  
"That's your dirty mind interpreting it that way." He pulled up his hand next to her temple and wanted to start when she whispered with closed eyes:  
"Oh okay then. Sure penetrate me, but please make it pleasant and be gentle okay? Start slow and then go deeper. I'll moan if it's too much."  
His hand suddenly fell down again and he sucked in a sharp breath: "Maker...Rey. I...I can't fucking concentrate like that."

She knew they were full on flirting the whole time and she kind of had fun doing this with him. She especially loved the parts where she was catching him off-guard with things she said or did. It spurred her even more to get this reaction from him.  
Rey opened her eyes as they both stared at each other for what felt like hours. Their glances never left the other ones eyes and she knew they were just seconds away from crushing their lips together. They both breathed pretty loud at this intense situation between them and she felt his warmth radiating from his body. Rey was the first to break the silence as she said: "Kylo, if you don't get that map out of my head right now, I'm gonna kiss you. So please get the map before I do something stupid."

His eyes widened in shock and he looked at her lips and then back to her eyes and muttered: "Yes. This would be insanely stupid and hot. And bring us problems for the rest of our life's." So he finally pulled up his hand again and brushed it against her temple. She instantly felt a warm energy flow through her which felt surprisingly nice.  
As promised he was really gentle and it felt completely different from the time he did in when she was captured.  
She closed her eyes and just enjoyed the feeling he gave her.

When he got all the information of the map from her mind, he let his hand stay on her face and slowly inched forward. She opened her eyes and watched what he was doing. Kylo brushed a thumb over her face, carefully tracing her facial features. Her eyebrows, her cheeks, her chin, her lips the beginning of her ear and her jawline. This suddenly didn't feel sexual anymore, but much more emotional. Rey's heart began to flutter at this change of mood and she waited for what will happen next.  
Then he moved forward the tiniest bit and turned her head around to kiss the side of her temple he used for prying into her mind before.  
He stayed there for the longest of time as she felt his energy brushing against hers and his finger trailing down the back of her neck.  
Then she heard in her mind a: " _Thank you._ "

It was such an unusual loving and gentle gesture she was perplexed that it came from him and her belly tingled like crazy.  
He then took a step backwards, obviously to distance himself from her a little and sat down on the pilot's chair again to turn around to the control panel and typed in the coordinates she showed him. She stood next to him, her arm laying on the back of the pilot's chair and was still thinking about what just happened.  
When he was done typing he groaned. Rey said out loud, what he thought. "We don't have enough fuel to reach it."  
He was scrolling around on a monitor now, searching for an inhabited planet in a distance they could reach with their fuel reserves.  
She suddenly pulled her hand over his arm and tipped with her index finger on the monitor, stopping him from scrolling. "This one." she said.  
He looked at her, feeling the warmth of her body again because she was leaning over him.  
"Riosa? What makes you think so?" he asked.

"It's the most effective route we can take with the amount of fuel we have left. Also, I read about it some time ago. I know it's inhabited and civilized with cities, so the probability is high, we can buy fuel without being attacked, or the ship being torn apart by space pirates. And they surely take all common currencies." she explained knowingly.

"Ok. Sold." he just stated, typing in the coordinates of Rosia. "Flight through hyperspace will take seven hours."  
With that he started the autopilot, which jumped them right into hyperspace shortly after their launch.  
Rey was relieved that the ship worked again and that she continued her journey, even if certain events took turns which she would never have dreamed of.  
She stood up and walked over to the sofa, where she plopped down, hands behind her neck, feet up on the table in front. "I am _so_ gonna sleep now.  
These last days drained me physically and emotionally."  
With that she closed her eyes and started to sleep in a matter of seconds. _She really is exhausted._ Kylo thought.  
He pulled off his cape and silently laid it on top of her, then went back to the pilot's chair and also closed his eyes just for one second.

Several hours later his eyes shot open because he felt a presence in front of him. Half-asleep he let his hand wander to his saber, but was stopped from a grip on his wrist. When he realized it was Rey standing in front of him, holding his hand away from his belt he relaxed. "We nearly reached Riosa. We'll jump out of hyperspace in two minutes." she explained.  
He rubbed his eyes with one hand and nodded a slurred: "Kkkay." She grinned at the sight of a sleepy Kylo Ren and mouthed a "Thank you." to him, then she laid the cape back in his hands.

When he was fully awake and the ship jumped out of hyperspace, he turned his attention to the controls and found a spot where he could safely land it.  
Just outside of a big city, not too far away to walk to the center.  
He landed the ship in a clearing between some trees and opened the door to leave it. Outside it was already dark and she could hear small animals making noises somewhere between the trees.  
"You won't wear your helmet?" she asked when he made his way to the door.  
"No. Nobody knows my face. But everybody will recognize me with the mask on. I don't want the First Order to know I am here." he answered waving his hand,  
signalizing her to follow.

She stepped out of the ship and the door closed behind her. They walked through the small forest for some minutes, until they reached some inhabited roads with metal cabins and people rushing all around them.  
She stayed close to Kylo and was already amazed by all the new impressions she collected there. They kept walking the streets, sometimes taking a turn to the left,  
or to the right, until they reached bigger houses and even skyscrapers. Everywhere were blinking neon advertisements and Rey was so fascinated by it, she stumbled around looking in every direction with an open mouth, being totally overwhelmed by all the technology surrounding her. There were small droids flying around in the air, people of lots of different alien races walking around, looking busy, working, running, selling, haggling, drinking in the streets. It was a wonderful chaos and Rey didn't know where to look first, everything seemed so exciting. She has never seen so many people in one place and she felt like a small child in a really big world. Then she bumped into the back of Kylo Ren who suddenly stopped in his steps. He turned around eyeing her, wanting to tell her to watch her step: "I know, it's exciting and all but -"  
She interrupted him: "IT IS AWESOME! So many people! The lights! Big houses! Shops everywhere! There is technology all around us! I have never seen so many different alien races in one place! This is so exciting!" she exclaimed waving frantically with her arms, showing into each direction of the things she just told him, as in she wanted to show Kylo what she meant when she said lights, pointing her fingers on the neon sign above her head.

As he had seen cities similar to this and also much bigger ones, he didn't find this at least exciting. Even more, it was annoying as fuck because of all the people standing in his way, who he wasn't allowed to kill because his cover would be blown then.  
So he sighed and rolled his eyes a little, nodding to his right. She looked where he nodded to and saw a big sign which blinked in different colours, saying "gas station".  
"Oh." she mouthed and started to walk in the direction of the station. He followed and they both entered the store.  
He started bartering with the vendor at the counter until they had an agreement. Meanwhile, Rey stood in front of the windows from the store, pressing her face against the glass, excitedly watching the crowd moving outside and taking in everything she could see from this position. She stood there like a small child eyeing a toy in a shop window.

When Kylo was done paying, he went over to her and told her that everything was arranged according to plan and that they could go back to the ship as it will be refuelled by the employees of the store. She pulled her gaze away from the window, now looking like a beaten dog.  
"We are going already? I thought I could see some more of the city. Hmpf." she huffed.  
"Yes we are going. Here is nothing interesting to see." he told her in a serious tone and walked out of the store again.  
"Could we at least take a different route back to the ship? So I can see some more of the streets?...Please?"  
He sighed again. "Well...All right."

So they kept on roaming the street on a different route than before. They came through a passageway, where they could hear loud music playing from different bars, people sitting and standing while drinking different beverages, even prostitutes standing around flinging themselves to every male looking living being. Funnily a few walked into Kylo's direction, even calling him out as a sweetheart and even much more direct things, but quickly turned on their heel, when they stood in front of him, gasping with an open mouth, panic playing alongside their faces. Rey was laughing at this strange scenery the whole time, as she knew he used his force to implant something in their minds to not bug him anymore. She walked up to his side and asked him what he does with their minds. "I plant pictures of their crying parents into their head, when they find out what jobs their daughters are going after. They have the weakest minds." he answered in a monotone voice.

"This is really cruel of you. You don't know why they have to work here." she grudgingly He looked at her and said: "I do know. As I said - weak mind. Most of them have debts, because they bought more things for themselves, than they could ever pay back, or they are simply drug addicts. I can see their past."  
"Oh. Ok. Then - I don't know, keep on. Maybe they'll change something in their life." she said. After a while they let the district with the prostitutes behind them when they came to a smaller alleyway with more bars and restaurants, but it wasn't so loud and overcrowded any more. Suddenly Kylo halted on his track and looked over to a bar.  
"Do you like liqueur?" he asked without looking at her.  
"I...I don't know. I never tasted it. We just had rum on Jakku. Why?"  
"You want to try it?" he asked, still not looking to her.  
She suddenly got so excited, she nearly jumped into the air but could withhold herself from doing so. "Are you asking me to have a drink with you? Do I interpret your socially awkward behaviour thing right?" she asked in a mocking way.

Now he looked at her with an annoying expression seemingly a little bit pissed at her remark, but this was instantly interrupted by her pulling at his arm, already walking in the direction of the bar. He followed grudgingly already regretting what he proposed. When they entered, there were chattering people sitting around everywhere, thick cigarette fog clouding the air, music playing in the background and waiter droids swooshing through the room. First, they stood at the door, looking for a place to sit but Rey instantly found a small table with two comfy chairs. She pointed in its direction and dropped herself on the cushions gesturing Kylo to follow her. He silently sat down holding his body in a steady position, looking slightly uncomfortable. He propped both his elbows on the table, crossing his hands over one another and buried half his face behind it, watching her closely.  
She was wearing the biggest smile on her face he has ever seen. He didn't know if the corners of her mouth already reached her ears, but from the front, it certainly looked like it. His heart made some strange things when he saw her smile like that but he tried to shove that feeling aside.  
"What is up with you, why are you so tense? Is it because of the people around? Nobody will know who you are. You said so yourself." she tried to reassure him.  
"No it's not." he paused a moment. "It's because of the woman sitting in front of me."

Rey's first intent was to turn around and look behind her back, to see if there was another woman of whom he spoke. But then it dawned on her, that Kylo Ren meant herself. She turned red at that and grinned stupidly at him.  
Then she bowed over the table, now just inches away from Kylo's face and whispered in a half amused, half serious voice, looking around like somebody could hear them:

"So is it a date now?"


	15. Chapter 15: Trouble

"So is it a date now?" she asked slightly amused.

"Do you want it to be one?" he asked in his usual deep voice, looking at her expectantly.

"No. No. I asked you a question. It's your turn to answer." she answered, holding back a grin.  
He first looked at the ceiling, brushing a hand through his hair like he was nervous, then glanced back at her drilling holes in her head with his eyes.

 _Then, let it be one._

He let her know through their bond silently. She nodded with a knowing smile playing on her lips.  
It was clear to them both, they would certainly cross a line this night as they nearly did before several times by now. But both didn't know when it will happen, or how far it will go. They just knew there was something intense happening between them for quite some time now and they always held back, knowing they are on different sides of the war. But tonight they didn't give a shit about anything and maybe just wanted to try out what will happen, if they don't care about everything else anymore.  
It was probably stupid and selfish, also dangerous and it would bring them into all kinds of trouble for the rest of their life's, but who could blame them for it anymore - when they had a couple of drinks?

"Soooo. Actually, I heard guys are the ones, picking out a drink for the girl on dates. I think its a pretty dumb custom, but I'll take it today because I don't know any other beverages except rum as I told you before. So please, surprise me."  
Just as she had said it, a waiter droid came to their table, bleeping for their order. Kylo ordered drinks with names Rey has never heard before.  
She was curious about what he picked and waited for the drinks to arrive.  
One was a beer, that she was sure of, the other one was a shot with brown liquid. The sniffed on both of them, turning the glasses around in her hands.

"One is a beer and the other one is something I am sure you will, by all means enjoy." he fixated her with his glance waiting for her to taste both.  
"A beer? That's good! Always wanted to drink one! I feared you would pick something classy like wine or something similar. Actually, I put you into the category 'classy'  
when it comes to drinks." she laughed at him. He smiled back and commented: "No I am not classy at all. I enjoy beer and strong stuff."  
She was surprised at this but instantly liked it as she sure as hell too was not classy.  
So which one first?" she beamed at him.

He picked up the shot glass with the brown liquid and held it onto the table, leaning forward a bit. "This one."  
"We have to make a toast!" she exclaimed as she took the glass, also leaning forward.  
Kylo rolled his eyes at this, but then clinked their glasses together and said: "To us, not trying to kill each other for - what is it? Three day now?"  
She giggled at that: "It's two days actually. But yep. Not killing each other is a nice idea." Then both gulped down their glasses.

Kylo watched her intensely as he put down his glass, awaiting her reaction.  
When she put down her own glass she had her eyes closed and a long groan escaped her mouth, tongue slipping out to lick her lips, like she wanted to taste even the last drop of it. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him like he had done something wrong. He didn't know why she glanced like that and started to worry, but just when he wanted to ask, she said: "THIS is the fucking best thing I have ever tasted. No wait! The second best thing.  
After the chocolate bar of course. This tasted like a liquid chocolate bar. You did that on purpose, didn't you? What is this?"

He calmed down and grinned. "It is hazelnut liquor. And yes. I might enjoy seeing you moaning with closed eyes."  
"Oh already skipping the foreplay?" she asked flirtingly with a raised eyebrow.  
He snorted at that comment, picked up his beer and took a sip: "You have a dirty mind girl."  
"Yeah I wasn't the one drooling all over me because I saw somebody eat a chocolate bar." she accused him, also taking her beer and leaning back into the chair again.  
He nearly choked on his own drink and stared back at her. "I didn't drool all over you. You ate this thing like sucking on -" he inhaled and sat back.  
"Never mind. It looked hot as fuck. End of story."

So that's how it's going to be tonight? They are just sitting there for several minutes and they are so deep into flirting right now, they already openly talk about sexual topics involving them both.  
She never had this kind of conversation with anybody else, but with Kylo she just felt like she had to tease him the whole time, as she was getting everything thrown back to her with witty remarks and all these different emotions she could see in him, which are no anger or hate, but so many others like compassion, want, fun, or even gentleness which made it just so exciting to her.

She turned red at this direct compliment and over this whole conversation and could just imagine what he thought at this moment.  
She took a gulp from her beer, tasting it for the first time.  
"Oh. That is something I could drink often. Mhm I like it." she beamed at him. "So apart from the chocolate incident, I wanted to ask you something else."  
 _But I'll do it through our bond if its ok. I don't want anybody to hear._ She forwarded him through the force.

He nodded at this and opened his side of the bond to talk to her.  
 _So what is it?_ he asked.

 _You said the First Order doesn't know you are here. In your mind, I saw that you didn't lie about this. Won't they know after some time? Or search for you?_  
 _What exactly is your position there in the First Order? How important are you to them?_

He pondered about these questions for a moment, sipping on his beer. He must try to avoid topics with vital pieces of information to not put anymore risk on her.

 _My position in the First Order is outside of the normal ranks. I get sent to different missions, but nobody briefs me on how long they must or must not take. So I might have some_ time, _until someone grows suspicious of me leaving the finalizer. Mostly it takes about two_ weeks, _until Snoke checks in to see what I am doing. I am important to them on a purely functional term, as I am the only one except from Snoke, who can kill Jedi and force sensitives._

She had to take a big gulp of her beer when he told her this. She already was informed, that he is known as a Jedi Killer, but it still was shocking to hear it from him.

 _Why do you do it? Killing Force sensitives?_ she asked a little scared of his answer.

 _I can't tell you at this moment. Please accept that. I will reveal much more when I had the chance to talk to Luke and some things have changed.  
I know you don't understand it. But please trust me when I say this. I won't. Not anymore. _He promised her.

 _You won't? Seriously? Okay. I didn't expect this at all coming from you right now. I am very relieved to hear this. I'm looking forward to hear the reason soon.  
_ She breathed a sigh of relief.

They kept talking like that over their bond for minutes, without moving their mouths or actually saying something. Their eyes were locked the whole time, sometimes one rolled their eyes, groaned or laughed at the other one. They nearly forgot to talk like normal humans as it felt so natural to use their force for this. They talked about Rey's time at the resistance base, without her revealing too much. She wanted to talk about his mother, but he stopped her.  
Instead Kylo asked, if Finn survived his attack in the woods. She was perplexed by this, because she didn't think that he would care at all. It turned out he didn't, he just knew it would affect her much, that's why he asked. While communicating like that, they ordered some more drinks, Rey solely ordered hazelnut liquor, whilst he enjoyed watching her drink it with passion and stayed with more beer this evening.  
He could already feel her getting tipsy and she even started to slur a little bit over their bond, also her giggling became more frequent and at one or two occasions she leaned forward and brushed her hand against his fingers on the table.

It must have looked a little strange to others, two people sitting next to each other staring, but not talking for an hour now.  
One guy, who sat on a distant table some meters away with his mates stood up and walked over to them a little wobbly, obviously already drunken.

Rey and Kylo snapped out of their inward conversation in their heads and Rey looked at the guy approaching. She felt Kylo tense, never actually looking at the guy,  
but holding his eyes fixed on her.  
She then did the same, as she was trying to ignore the man now standing on their table.  
"Soooo littlee prisssy. I wass watchin you two. Tis must be the moussht boring date ever! Why don'tchu come over and sit with us finnee lads.  
Looks he'sh not even talking right noww tis guy's of you. I can give youu a good timeee!"

She turned her head to the man now and Kylo could feel her rage dwell up.  
"So you wanna give me a good time big guy? With that shriveled up thing you call a cock, I suppose?" With that she stood up, eyeing him aggressively.  
Kylo just sipped at his bottle, leaning back in his chair, watching her and knowing perfectly fine that this guy is getting into trouble anytime soon.

"Oi girl watch your moutthh! Itss not my fault your man cannt satisfyyy you! But I can!" he slurred, now touching her arm, trying to pull her into him.  
Kylo tensed at this, but she already lunged back her fist and smashed it deep into his face, sending him flying onto the floor.  
She now stood over the guy spitting out a: "And now, get the fuck lost and don't ruin my really perfect date you shithead!" between gritted teeth.

The guy laid on the floor screaming insults at her now, his mates rushing over and all eyes in the bar were on them now.  
Even the music had stopped. One of his mates spat at Kylo: "Don't you want to help this little bitch of yours? She has obviously lost her mind! She needs a good beating!"  
Kylo looked the guy dead into his eyes and said in a calm voice: "No. She is perfectly capable of taking you all out on her own."  
"Is that so you fucker?" screamed the guy whom Rey had hit in the face before, now jumping up, charging at Kylo.  
Kylo raised from the chair and just caught his fist with one hand and with his other crushed the man's head onto the edge of the table.  
The guy was instantly out, his face all bloody and the nose broken. His mates were kneeling over him, picking up his now limp body and dragged him out of the bar while muttering insults at them. The music started again and everything went back to normal instantly.

Kylo sat down and took the last sip at his now empty beer like nothing had happened.  
Rey also sat down again, slapping her hand over her face. "I need something really strong now. And some fresh air. Such assholes, they ruined everything!"  
Kylo stood up and took her hand. She was surprised by this but didn't mind. "Come on. Nothing is ruined." he ordered and pulled her to the direction of the counter.  
He bought two more drinks for them and then went to the elevator in the bar with her still attached to his hand.  
When they entered, she was confused: "Where are we going?" she asked skeptically.

"You'll see!" he said while he put the drink into her hand.  
As the elevator ascended she fumbled with her drink and mumbled: "It looked really hot when you crushed this disgusting guy's head down with a flick of your hand."  
Kylo let out a faint laugh at that and sipped at his drink. "He's an asshole. He deserved it. But you punched him good too."  
She grinned with an evil grin now and took a large gulp of her glass. She coughed and her eyes started watering from it.  
"Oh phew whoa what is it? This is sure as hell strong."

"Absinthe. It's the strongest you could get." he grinned at her. She took some more gulps now, her glass already half empty then. "You might want to slow it down a little."  
he said slightly concerned.  
"Naaaah." she slurred and let herself slump forward just against his body, where she wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his neck.  
He hesitantly put an arm on her back and stroked her a little.

 _What is this now?_ he asked her through their bond feeling unsure by her sudden closeness.

She didn't answer back through their bond but mumbled into the crook of his neck. "I jussst want to get helddd."  
The elevator stopped at the highest level and the door opened. He pushed her away a little and gave his drink to her. She now held both glasses and was confused why she needs to carry them.  
"So you want to be held?" he asked. She nodded, but was instantly swept off her feet, Kylo carrying her bridal stlye now. "Whoaa! What? What?" she asked nearly letting the drinks go. "Don't you drop them." he smiled at her. She wanted to protest, but he already went out of the elevator and opened a door in front of them through the force.  
As they were alone on this level, no one would notice.

They were on the roof of the building high above the city. The sky was dark and there were thousands of stars, some planets and moons to be seen from up there.  
Mouth agape, she was turning her head as much as she was able to in this position to see everything.  
He went all the way to the edge of the roof, which didn't have a barrier or something and let her down right there. She pressed against him to not fall down and he held her steady by his side. Then he lowered himself to the ground and sat down, his legs dangling over the edge. She also did this and he held her arm to help her keep the balance in her drunken state.  
When she sat down, she was so close their bodies touched. He took his drink from her hand and took a sip, then said: "So something really strong and fresh air.  
You are welcome."

She grinned broadly at him: "It's perfect!" and let her body fall against his, while looking up to the sky. He raised his hand and put it behind her back, drawing small circles on her spine. There was a fine breeze, but it was warm nonetheless. After some time their drinks were emptied and they stood them aside. He asked her if she felt okay as she was suddenly so quiet, to which she just nodded and grinned like a little kid. "Actually I've never felt more at ease." she answered in a really calm voice.

She was feeling giddy from his stroking and looked up in his face, catching his eyes in hers. His face was unreadable at the moment, but she could tell from his aura that he was aroused. She too was since they sat on the table and started talking actually. With the alcohol in her blood and his hazel-brown eyes staring at her intensely it wasn't getting any better.  
She made up her mind and decided to end all these teasing games they are playing for days now and just climbed over to him to position herself right on his lap facing him.  
It was a little bit dangerous because they sat on the edge of a some hundred meters tall building, but he held her in his arms when she positioned herself.  
He watched her face which was now just mere inches away, feeling unusually nervous but also entirely captivated by her piercing eyes. He knew there was no way back anymore they had played enough around each other and he would finally fucking kiss this woman as he wanted to do this for days.

He took her head in his hand and brushed his thumb against her lip. She kissed the tip of his finger and smirked. Now he also had a smile playing on his lips and dipped his head down to finally crush his mouth onto hers. Finally kissing her, tasting her, exploring her, feeling their bond swirl all around them in the most beautiful colors only they could see. Her lips were probably the softest he had ever kissed, her taste the sweetest he could imagine. A rush of adrenaline went through his body which made his heart beat so fast against his chest, it hurt. He couldn't believe they actually did what they were doing and right at this moment, he thought whatever his life will bring from now on, she was totally worth _everything._ Whatever everything was. But he'd give everything to her.

The kiss was long and full of passion, her tongue searching for the entry to his mouth, which he willingly granted, now kissing her even deeper, his hands going down from her face to her back. She then pushed her hip forward to close the last centimeter which was between their bodies. He moaned into her mouth as her hip pushed against him, which she took as an invitation to straddle him down on his back while grabbing onto his collar kissing him fiercely. He let her sit on top of him and grabbed her bottom, while she ground her hips into his groin. They were already lost in each other, both letting out some whimpers and moans while kissing and stroking their facial features and curves of their bodies.  
The mood was going from sweet kissing and tasting each other for the first time, to absolutely intense and sexual the next second as they were already moaning and grunting between kisses from grinding and touching their bodies as their pleasure was so bottled-up since days.

She pulled her head away from his face and smiled mischievously at him. Then she started to unbutton the upper section of his outfit and left a trail of wet, hot kisses on his neck making smacking noises while doing so. He nearly couldn't hold himself back at this, as he would love to just throw her on the floor and fuck her senseless now.  
She could also feel his length now pushing against her leg, which made her already moist pants extra wet in seconds. She groaned at this and let her hand wander down to his pants. As she did he propped himself up on his elbows watching her. "What are you doing?" he asked her, still feeling dizzy from all the kissing.

"Kyyylo. I wantyyyou. Now" she slurred, her eyes wandering down to his pants and she started to fumble with his belt. He took her wrist and motioned her to stop.  
She looked at him in a disappointed and questioningly way and asked: "Did I doo somwthing wronggg?"  
He shook his head and then smiled at her. "No. You didn't. Come here you fucking sweet kind of a woman." With that he pulled her face to his again and gave her a really long kiss full of emotion and longing. When they paused and felt each other's heart beating against their chests and she started grinding him again as she pulled on his clothes, he pulled his head slightly back and looked into her eyes. Then he held his right hand next to her temple and whispered: "Good night." while he kissed her forehead.

And with that she was gone.


	16. Chapter 16: Hurt

When she woke up her head was throbbing like hell. It made it hard to even think straight. She felt something warm beneath her body and opened her eyes. She laid on the chest of Kylo Ren, who was sleeping soundly underneath her. Her arm was around his neck and his hand behind her back, pressing her into him.

At this sight she jolted up panicky, skidding away from him fast. He woke up to her sudden movement and watched her closely, as she seemed totally confused. They were still on the roof and the sun started to rise, leaving some light beams on her skin, which looked rather beautiful, he thought.

"It's alright." he stated to her. "Don't be scared."  
She grabbed her head as it hurt much now from her shifting and she asked with a trembling voice: "Did we do something? Did we...did we sleep with each other?  
Oh maker, I can't remember. We did, didn't we? Oh no, I didn't -"  
He interrupted her: "No we did not. We only kissed if you remember. Do you?"  
She closed her eyes, still rubbing her flat hand against her head. "Thank the maker. Yeah, yeah I remember now. We did, over there. It was good.  
But I thought, we also did something else. But wait no! You suddenly told me to sleep or something. After that, I can't remember. What happened?"

"I put you to force sleep." he stated without showing any emotion about it.  
"You did what? Why would you do this? I do not want you to do this to me! You didn't take advantage of me after that? I dare you if you did!"  
she nearly screamed at him while flinching from her throbbing headache.

"Ok calm down already. Let me get rid of your seriously bad hungover and I'll explain it. Is this okay with you?"  
She looked at him sceptically but nodded, her head still pulsating as it would explode any moment.  
He positioned himself in front of her and held both his hands against her temples. She tensed at his touch, but let his warm energy flow through her head. It already soothed the throbbing pain and she felt more at ease every second. As he let the force flow through her, he looked at her eyes their faces were pretty close again and she blinked as the sun was dazzling her.

"So yesterday you were really drunk and we kissed. It got pretty heated up after some time and you suddenly wanted to undress me and sleep with me.  
I tried to stop you, but you were really, let's say willing to make it happen. I felt there wouldn't be a point to argue about it in your drunken state so I just put you to force sleep. End of story." he explained to her whilst his hand, which was at her temple first, wandered to a loose strand of hair and brushed it behind her ear.

Her eyes grew bigger, luckily her hangover was gone from his force. "So...so you did it, so I wouldn't regret it later?"  
He nodded silently and let his hand fall down for it to rest against his body.  
"Ok. I guess I have to thank you for that. I...I didn't...it would have been my first time. I wouldn't like it to happen like that I guess."

He suddenly stood up from his kneeling position, looking shocked at her. "What? Your first time?" He brushed his hand nervously through his hair.  
"How old are you exactly?"  
"Nineteen. I am Nineteen. I just never found a guy to whom I'd -" she answered but was interrupted. "No, no! You do not have to excuse yourself for not doing "it" before. This is totally fine. I was just worried about you being much younger than I thought right now. But luckily you are not. So everything is alright.  
Also, please promise me to never sleep with anybody if you don't have a clear mind or truly want it. This is your decision to make and you are in charge of it.  
It should be a beautiful experience for you and not because you feel like you have to." he stated like he was teaching her something.

"Wow. That is actually really nice of you, telling me this. I would never have thought you mind about consent that much." she smiled at him a little perplexed.  
"I might be an asshole on many levels, but at least not on that one." he smirked back at her.  
With that she also stood up and walked over to him, hugging him tightly and planted a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you." she whispered.  
"How old are you actually? I also never asked before." she said and looked at him questioning. "What do you think?" he asked with a raised eyebrow and crossed his arms as he grinned slightly.  
"I'd say you are older than me. I have seen younger versions of you in your vision with Snoke. I thought you were about eighteen there. But you look slightly older now.  
I'd say about hmm twenty-five maybe?" she pondered as she watched his facial features.  
"Oh I feel flattered." he sarcastically commented. "But no wrong. It's twenty-nine actually."  
"Wow, that's ten more years than me actually. You sure you want such a young chick like me? All inexperienced and still stupid shit in her head?" she laughed.  
"If you'd know Rey. Also, my stupid shit in my head surpasses yours by lightyears."

She giggled at that and went forward to embrace him, leaning her face against his upper body.  
"Do we go back to the ship? I think we have lots of things to do in the next days." she mumbled into his chest.  
He laid his chin on her head and squeezed her arms slightly at that, then let her go and nodded.

"Let's go!" he said and went to the elevator with her following him. They eyed each other every now and then, knowing exactly what was going on,  
but nobody dared to say or do something like they did yesterday.  
They went back through the town, the streets were luckily not too crowded like yesterday because it was really early in the morning.  
When they arrived back at the ship, they saw the tank was indeed full as ordered at the gas station.  
Kylo started the ship and went into hyperspace, another six hours flight was the plan and they ate some bread with fruits and vegetables, talking about how Kylo managed to not be drunken at all yesterday. He told her he never let himself get drunk, he always flushes the alcohol out of his system before he loses his control. But he admitted that he was at least slightly tipsy when they were on the roof.

Then they pondered about how they will approach Luke. Just Rey first, both together or just Kylo. They were unsure how Luke will react to Kylo, as he surely hated him for what he did to his academy and failing him in general. Rey wanted to know why Kylo did it and felt some anger dwell up. But she also knew, he couldn't tell her right now and she accepted this. They decided on approaching him together, as he would surely sense Kylo anyway if he waited in the ship and when he would go alone, she felt like she wouldn't have control of the situation.

The hours went by as they were talking about different topics, sometimes laughing, sometimes pondering about solutions.  
They sat close to each other, but never touched because they were both pretty tense about meeting up with Luke.  
When they finally dropped out of hyperspace a small blue planet came in sight. It was all water, except for some parts with green landmasses,  
or rock formations.  
Kylo landed the ship on a landmass where he felt Lukes force signature, as he didn't hide it from them. They both also didn't hide it to let him know,  
they are approaching.  
When the ship landed, they opened the door and stepped onto the grass, standing next to each other. She could feel Kylo being insanely tense and she looked at him and took his hand in hers, squeezing it a little and let it go again. His glance fell to her eyes and he nodded thankfully, motioning them to start walking.

They had to take lots of steps to reach the top of the rock formation. Rey could feel Kylo's energy tense even more with every meter. She was a little concerned for him,  
but couldn't change this right now, except from being there with him together. She also was scared of how the situation will play out, but she hoped for the best.

Finally they took the last step and saw Luke Skywalker standing on the edge of the cliff, with a brown cloak around him, his back facing them.  
They stood still for a second, watching him silently. Kylo took some steps forwards, Rey followed some steps behind him.  
Just then Kylo did something entirely unexpected.  
He kneeled down and laid his saber in front of him. Waiting for Luke to react.

Luke turned overdramatically around, observing this scene with a really dark impression.  
Rey took some more steps forward and positioned herself next to Kylo and laid a hand on his shoulder in a reassuring way.

"Ben Solo. I do not know how in makers name you dare to set foot on this island, even more so having the gut to face me. I wish for you to leave this place instantly or it will have devastating consequences for you.  
And for you girl. I feel you are a force user. I can only imagine why you are here or what you expect from this. But I am not interested."

Rey took a look to Kylo, who didn't move at all, but she felt him shudder a little under Luke's words.  
"I...We are here for different reasons. For my part I am here on a mission from General Leia. She needs you desperately in the fight against the First Order. Also yes, you are right I am a force user and she said, you would maybe train me. I need a teacher. Someone who is not dwelling on the dark side."  
She looked at Kylo at this and squeezed his shoulder, apologetically.

Luke looked back and forth between them, then asked: "Where is Han? I do not feel his presence anymore."  
Kylo plummeted together at this, his hands falling on the ground. But he raised his head to Luke and said with a trembling voice: "I killed him."

Luke's eyes widened at this and anger flared through his face. Rey felt tears flowing down her face now. Luke's aura flared up and small stones started levitating around him. He really was strong with the force.  
"HOW DARE YOU TO KILL YOUR FATHER? HOW DARE YOU?" Luke took a step forward as in attacking Kylo Ren.

Kylo didn't flinch at this but said: "Your hate towards me is justified in any way possible. I accept that. No apologies in the whole galaxy can redeem my actions. It was solely my doing and I take all the liability for it onto me. I do not deserve your presence or even to talk to you. I will always have to live with the fact, that I killed my own father. That alone will forever tear me apart until I die. But I beg you to listen what I have to say." he pleaded while staring at Luke, who looked like he would jump in his face and scratch his eyes out anytime.

Luke took a step back, grabbed his beard and turned around, thinking about his answer. The air felt so thick, Rey had problems to breath.  
"Talk." Luke hissed without looking at Kylo again.

Kylo stood up at that, his saber still on the ground.  
"I know I failed you. I failed everyone. Your trust in me is broken beyond repair. I will not explain to you why I have done all the things since I left.  
But you know, that I work under Snoke. I worked for him since I was a young boy. Even before the academy, he was in my head, teaching me.  
He made me the person I am now. He changed me, he made me strong, he taught me all the ways of the force, to an extent I never dreamed of.  
I always looked up to him, he is my master. He is such a strong entity, I have ever faced before. Nobody will ever reach his level of power.  
As I was under his tutelage, I also got to learn a great amount of the things he plans to do with the galaxy."

Kylo took a step forward to Luke and desperately screamed at him:  
"Luke, he is unconquerable through the normal ways of the force!  
No weapon in this galaxy is able to kill him!  
I need you to teach me the way of lightning through the force. It is the only way to destroy him. I know you are able to use it, even if you refuse to.  
I need to kill him! He is a danger to the whole galaxy as we know it!"

Rey was totally shocked at this revelation, as until now she didn't know what Kylo's plans were when he meets Luke.

Luke turned around so fast, Kylo took a step backward. "You! You ask me to teach you after all this? And even then the most forbidden dark side technique ever used by any force user? You must be out of your mind if you ask me this! You seriously must be crazy by now!"

Kylo again dropped to his knees, feeling defeated by Luke's harsh words.  
"I do not ask, I beg you to. For the sake of the whole galaxy, for the sake of my mother, for the sake of Rey and everybody else who will be enslaved by the Supreme Leader soon. The dark forces are growing stronger each day and you must feel it too. There is no other way to defeat Snoke."

Luke just looked at him with an unreadable face, taking his time to think what Kylo just said.  
He again grabbed his beard and stroked it while thinking. "How shall I ever trust your words? How shall I know, you won't use the force against me, Rey, your mother and anybody else who will stand in your way? There is no way to trust you anymore."

Kylo looked at him and said: "I will open my whole mind for you. You can search as long and as much as you want. I will not hide anything from you and you can take all the information you need. I warn you, there are a lot disturbing things, you might not want to see. But I can assure you, you will find my words to be true."

Luke instantly took a step forward to the kneeling Kylo. He wanted to see. Everything. As he never really understood the mind of his nephew.  
He slowly raised his hand and brought it next to Kylo's temple, who now closed his eyes.  
The force was flowing through him into Kylo's mind. They both stayed in this position for several long minutes. Rey just stood beside this, watching them intensely.  
After some time, Luke's hand began trembling, his face was distorted. Rey started to get nervous, as she didn't know what he was seeing.  
Abruptly he pulled his hand away from Kylo and stumbled some steps backwards, horror in his eyes. "I...I...I saw. I need to think. I need time to think.  
Go back to your ship now. I will contact you tomorrow. Do not come looking for me." With that he walked away and just let them stand there.

Kylo still kneeled there, watching his uncle leave. Rey now kneeled in front of him and tried to look into his eyes.  
His glance looked empty and he emitted some really uncomfortable energy around him. Without looking at her, he said: "You need to leave."  
"What? What? No. Kylo no! I won't leave this here." she screamed at him, grabbing his arm hard.  
"Leave me. Now." he said, still not looking into her eyes.  
She had enough of this and threw herself at him, putting her arms in a really tight embrace around his shoulders.  
"Just fucking let go! I feel you are devastated. Don't let in the anger, let the sadness out. I am right here for you."  
He started to tremble at this and lifted up his arm, grabbing her back and digging his fingers so much into her, it hurt.

First she heard nothing, he didn't even breath, but after some time, she heard sobs coming from him, his body was even more trembling like he is going to lose it any second now. She put her left hand up, silently stroking through his hair. With a really soft voice she asked: "What did Luke see, before he left?"  
Kylo pushed himself away from her and buried his face under his left hand shaking his head slightly. "He witnessed me killing Han."  
Rey took his hand away from his face and placed them on her lap, while she stroked alongside them with her thumbs.  
She could see fresh tears streaming down on Kylo's cheeks and he couldn't look into her eyes.  
"Did he also see why you did it?" she asked him.  
"Yes he did. He saw so much. Everything I did these past years. He will never teach me. I might as well die now." he said stoically, his crying had stopped.  
"Don't you dare to! You have people who care very much about you. You already took Leia's husband. Luke is in exile. How do you think she would feel, when you are gone too? Then she has lost everything dear to her. How do you think I would feel?"

This was the first time he looked into her eyes again since they reached the top of the mountain. "I am sorry. I do not want to hurt any more people with my actions. I have done enough damage."


	17. Chapter 17: Offer

After Kylo calmed down a little after some time, she took his hand and walked him back to the ship.  
He just followed her silently, deeply into thought, not saying a word.  
She guided him to the edge of a cliff, where the waves crash against some rocks.  
There she sat down and just pulled at his arm, ordering him to sit beside her.  
He did and watched the water with an expression on his face, like he was totally not there, but somewhere deep in his mind.  
She sat beside him and started stroking his back and leaned her head on his shoulder.  
"I know you hit rock bottom. But Luke didn't say he won't train us. He was shocked to see these things. Of course, he was. He must have been hurt a lot by them.  
But he said, he needs to think. For me, it doesn't sound like he will deny you for sure. I think he needs time to come to peace with all of this and be able to talk to you without thinking of you as a murderer every time he sees you." she told him, or was thinking aloud.

"But I am." he just stated.  
"Yes, you are. But you had your reasons. If I am able to understand, Luke must be able too." she said.  
They silently sat on the cliff for some time after that, just watching the waves crash against the rocks.  
Then Rey said quietly: "You know. Actually, I have never seen the ocean before. It is so beautiful. I always wanted to see it.  
I am grateful I can see it with you right now."

He finally raised his hand and put it on the back of her head, stroking her hair. "I am also grateful you are here with me.  
Thank you with all my heart for this."

They stayed there for an hour or so, it already got dark. So they decided to go back to the ship and get some sleep, awaiting Luke's answer tomorrow.  
This night they slept arm in arm together on the sofa, some spell between them was broken and Rey knew she cared so deeply for Kylo now,  
as she also had the final proof of him, not hurting Luke as he promised and to know, that he actually wants to save the galaxy, instead of destroying it.

When the sun rose in the morning, Kylo was already awake, because he had trouble sleeping anyways and stayed awake nearly the whole night, watching her sleeping form in his arms, sometimes caressing her back or her cheeks.  
He felt Luke approaching the ship, so he woke up Rey with a kiss on her forehead and some stroking of her head. She looked at him drowsily, but stood up and readied herself. She gave him one last smile, while nodding at him and they left the ship together, awaiting Luke in front of it.

Luke came down the stairs, they went up yesterday. They just stood there, feeling a little tense, but not so much as they did the day before.  
He halted before them and said: "Please. Sit down." and waved his hand.  
They instantly sat down like two lap dogs and he followed, now sitting in a cross-legged position.  
"So I took my time to think about everything you have told me and what I have seen." With that, he looked over to Kylo, who steadily held his glance.  
"Rey, I feel the force is really strong with you. I know you will be a great pupil. I agree to train you if you stay here and follow my guidance.  
It is better for you, than being trained by a dark side user like Ben.  
I will not go back to the resistance base with you, as I can no longer be part of this war anymore. It already cost me too much.  
Ben. Now to you." Both men locked their eyes. She felt Kylo getting nervous through the bond, but he didn't say anything.  
"I could clearly see your mind yesterday. You were right, I saw a lot of disgusting things you have done." he paused.  
Kylo closed his eyes at this, waiting to be crushed by Luke's words.

"But I could also see what Snoke did to you, to all these other people and why you decided to kill Han.  
There would surely have been other ways, but I feel you are desperate and tried the best what was in your power at these dark moments in your life.  
I can also grasp Snoke's power now.  
I knew he was powerful, but I would never have thought him to be nearly almighty. He has to be destroyed, or he will enslave the whole galaxy.  
I have strong concerns about you learning to use the forbidden technique of force lightning, as it is an ability only Sith use and it is dragging everyone who is able to do it, even more to the dark side. You are nearly completely full of the dark and it can swallow you in it.  
But nonetheless, after the pieces of information I acquired from your mind, I see why it is the only possible way to conquer Snoke.  
I do not know, if I am able to do it. But I will try to teach you this. Not for you, not for me, but for the sake of the whole galaxy.  
I will start Rey's training first, as I need some time to adjust you being here Ben. It is not easy for me to be in your presence right now.  
So you have to wait some time, for me to be able to trust you, using the force around me."

Kylo's eyes flew open. He never believed Luke would accept them both after the incident yesterday. He didn't want to show too much emotion or hurt Luke again with anything he says or does. So he just bowed down, his head nearly touching the earth.  
"I accept this offer of you dearly. I am endlessly thankful for your decision. I am looking forward seeing Rey bloom with the force under your apprenticeship.  
But I have to warn you. Snoke will eventually start searching for me in the next days or weeks.  
I will block him out as much as I am able to, but it can happen, that I am not strong enough. I never was.  
I hope you can help me as I do not want to share the information about this planet or you with him."

Luke just nodded at this, again stroking his beard in deep thought.  
"You never were strong with your mental barrier. That's why, in the first place, Snoke was able to creep into your mind and influence you.  
Yes, we need to work on that, as it is dangerous for us all. I suggest that you both stay in my hut on the other side of the mountain.  
If you ever feel Snoke invading your mind, you instantly reach out to me. I will be able to keep him out if I am fast enough there.  
Also, you will follow me and Rey to her training, to stay near, in case he tries. You are under steady surveillance from now on.  
When Rey and I are training, you are to meditate and improve your mental barriers. I do not ask for your agreement on this.  
You have to do as I said or you must leave now."

"I accept everything you said and will do so." Kylo raised his head up again, looking at Luke.

Rey also said something now, as this intense moment between them was over. "Master Luke. I am also grateful to be accepted as your pupil, I am looking forward to everything you will teach me. Also, thank you for accepting Kylo. This means a lot."

"We can get up now, I'll show you, your place to stay. It isn't big, but it will be enough for all of us I think. And stop calling me master. I never liked it." with that Luke stood up and walked up the stairs again. Rey jumped to her feet and wanted to follow him, when she saw Kylo still kneeling on the ground. "Come on big boy, Luke accepted you!"  
she held out her hand to him and smiled the biggest smile her face was able to do.  
Kylo took her hand and stood up, he pulled her towards him and crashed his lips down on hers, kissing her in a really long relieved way, hugging her body as much as he was able to. She also embraced him and kissed back putting lots of emotions into it, as she did. They finally parted as they both had to regain their breath and looked into each other's eyes. Rey planted one small kiss on his lips again and smiled, then they started to follow Luke, who was already far up the stairs.  
They both didn't mind that Luke saw, as it was obvious there was some kind of connection between them.

As they reached the small huts on the other side of the mountain, Luke waited in front. They approached him and Rey leaned into Kylo, holding his arm.  
Luke raised an eyebrow at them and said: "So Ben Solo defected from the First Order because he fell in love? I heard, wonders still happen."  
Rey grinned at that and Kylo just said dryly: "We share a force bond."

Luke was taken aback at this, as he thought they were just a couple of lovers. "Oh you do? That is rather interesting. I know of force bonds between a master and his padawan, or between relatives. But this is something entirely new to me. Maybe we can use that for your mental training Ben."  
Kylo just nodded at that, inwardly being so relieved that Luke talks to him in a normal kind of way, seemingly accepting him.

"The rooms are in here. As I said it's small, but you'll have your own space. Rey I know you have my saber with you. Please keep it, I do not want it.  
It is entirely yours for now. Someday you will build your own." Luke said.

"Oh. Ehm wow. Are you sure? Okay. Thank you!" she stuttered.

They all went into the hut, where Luke showed them the insides. It had two rooms, one living room and a bedroom and was built from rocks and wood. It had a small kitchen and even a fireplace.  
"Thank you Luke, it is wonderful. I really love it." Rey chirped as she saw the room.  
"I am glad you like it. Settle in and then come down to the valley between the rocks over there. I'll wait there for you both and we begin the training.  
Ah and one more thing: Beware of the Porgs!"  
Luke said and left the small hut.

They both mouthed: "Porgs?" but Luke was gone.  
They shrugged their shoulders and laid some stuff they carried with them on the bed. Rey turned to Kylo and beamed at him: "We never slept in a bed together before.  
I can't wait for it!" He smiled a little and brushed his hand against her cheek. "Yes, it will be much more comfortable than the sofa of my ship.  
I am really proud of you right now, I can't wait to see you and your force powers be trained."

She kissed his hand and said: "Then - let's not lose any more time and go to him, he's already waiting!" with that she stomped out, her aura giving off waves of total motivation and happiness. Kylo followed her and had to smile at her.  
He thought about Luke's words. _Falling in love._ Is he even able to do that?


	18. Chapter 18: Trust

When they went to the valley were Luke waited for them, they were unsure how the training will start.  
Luke just stood in the grass, with his cloak on watching them approach. They positioned themselves before him and Rey was the first to say something:  
"So what's our objective today?"  
Luke nodded and said: "You are going to attack each other."  
Kylo and Rey exchanged glances at that. "With lightsaber's?" Kylo asked.  
"No no. With your minds. It will benefit both of you. Ben, you are already strong with mind probing but have a weak barrier. Rey for you it's the opposite.  
So we will use your strength's and weaknesses for this training for both of you, where you need to be trained. Sit down and meditate first, then one of you will start to invade the other one's mind. I want you to keep the other one out."

Both nodded and became a little nervous. As the last time, they did that to each other forcefully wasn't exactly pleasant.

They meditated for some time in front of each other, then Rey opened her eyes and looked at Keylo. He already had his eyes open too and waited for her.  
"Ok, I'll start. What do I search for exactly? I don't want to just look at everything, if I am able to." she asked Luke.  
"Just look for something...ehm...something not bad. Something you think might give you positive images, not violence or pain." Luke answered.  
"Phew this will be hard!" she sneered. Then her face got serious again. "Sorry, Kylo. That's wasn't funny."  
Kylo just nodded watching her intensely, waiting for her to start.

She reached out her arm and held it near his temple, without touching him. Pretty much as he had done it to her back then in the interrogation chamber on Starkiller base.  
She didn't know what exactly she should look for, as she really had no clue when the last time was, he had memories which weren't dark.  
Maybe she could search for something from his childhood. Where he wasn't a dark side user. Maybe there she would find a good memory.  
So she let her force flow through her hand into his mind. It was all fogged and she already felt him built his barrier. She could feel the force leap back and forth, as he was prepared for her this time and he was pushing back. She closed her eyes to concentrate even more on it, trying to break through.  
There! She saw something. It was a flash of an image.

Kylo Ren as a child. A young boy, with raven hair, which wasn't as long as it is now. But he already had these dark eyes he has now. He must have been about twelve or thirteen years old then. He was standing on a really high cliff, looking down with tears in his eyes. He slowly put one foot forward, small stones crumbling down from the edge, others were levitating around him. Then he leaned forward seemingly going to fall down the cliff. In the background a woman screamed a high pitched sound, calling him out in panic.  
It sounded like Leia.

The vision ended abruptly when she felt Kylo's hand grabbing her wrist really strong and yanking it away. "Fuck no stop it!" he panted. Startled by this her eyes flew open.  
Luke looked confused from one to the other, not knowing what Rey just saw. Rey looked at Kylo in an equally confused and rather shocked way and yelled at him:  
"Did you try to? Oh my! You tried to kill yourself as a child?" she called out, tears gathering in her eyes. "I'm sorry I..I didn't want to see that.  
I wanted to search for something nice from your childhood. I am so sorry."  
"Don't. Search for something else." Kylo answered drily.  
Luke looked equally shocked over to Kylo at this information but didn't say a word, not knowing how to react to this.

Kylo took a deep breath, sighed then said: "Ok start over."  
She nodded and put her hands near his temples again. She has to ask him about what she saw later on when they were alone again.  
 _So focus Rey! Something nice. A good memory. He must have at least some good memories. Doesn't he? What makes him happy?_  
 _He was okayish these last days since he saved me. He actually can't have any bad memories from this time. That's it! I'm gonna pry into this timeframe!  
_  
Again she concentrated and let the force flow through her, pressing into his mind. Again there was a barrier, but she could break it down.  
Even if it wasn't so easy as it was the first time. She saw the picture of him force choking her, back in the streets of Kohara when they searched for the ship parts.  
It was the moment, she took his hand away from her neck and laid it on her chest, where he started to trail his fingers down to her belly.  
She could read his mind from this moment, it just said: _Fucking beautiful!  
_ Then it was dark again, he managed to block her out. The force couldn't penetrate his mind again, even if she tried really hard now.

She still tried it for some time, but failed to force her way in again. So she let her hands fall down defeated and looked over to Luke.  
"I could see an image for a short amount of time, but I can't get in anymore."  
Kylo looked at her, a small triumph playing in his eyes.  
"Well well, that's good. Now one more try. Imagine yourself running through a house with lots of doors. Rey you are trying to open them, Ben, you are trying to close them before she reaches one and is able to press the handle. It's like a cat and mouse game."

Again she raised her hand, both locking eyes intensely, as she tried to open the doors, he was closing faster than her. She saw images flickering before her mind, but all of them were so blurred she couldn't make them out. When they both started to tremble from the effort they put into the force, she yanked her hand back fast, as she felt herself getting dizzy and her eyes started rolling to the back of her head. He stopped trembling instantly and grabbed her wrist, as it looked like she would pass out.  
She nearly did but could collect herself in the end, as he held her arm for not falling backwards.  
Luke looked a little startled and hastily said: "Do not drain all your power at once!"  
When Rey felt ok again she turned her head to Luke and asked: "But how much power do I have? How do I know how much is left? I didn't know it was too much right now!"

Instead of Luke, Kylo answered: "You can't know now. You will find and extend your limits by training."  
Luke shot Kylo a glance and nodded at that but added: "Yes, but just let us find your limits, not extend them ok?"  
"And with that, training is over. You are already drained and you need to rest." Luke stood up and walked to his hut, seemingly a little distressed.

Kylo and Rey also stood up and started strolling the island. After some thinking Rey asked: "Why did Luke give you this glance? He looked a little tense."  
"Because I said something, he didn't like. It wasn't my intention to stress him out. But this is always a topic where light and dark side users never come to an agreement.  
Jedi want to control and limit their own power, whilst Sith want to use it without restrictions." Keylo answered while he let his hand brush against some rocky wall the passed.  
"Are you a Sith? You certainly use the dark side!" Rey asked curiously while walking next to him.  
"No. Not yet. I...I would have become one if I killed both my parents. It was what was keeping Snoke from ranking me as a Sith Lord." he answered.

Rey stopped in her track for a second. Then kept walking again. "Then it's good you never became one. And hopefully never will." She looked at him with a pressing glance.  
"But, I have to say I still don't know where my place is in all of this. My gut also tells me it is not good to limit your own power.  
If I am training in combat, I also go over my limits to become stronger. Why shouldn't one do this with the force?"

Kylo brushed a hand nervously through his hair and said: "You should stop listening to my dark force propaganda. You sound like me."  
"Oh yeah, as I would be able to be influenced so easily. Tomorrow I am going to wear all black and look grumpy the whole day." she giggled at him.  
"As I said before, black suits you much. Also, there isn't much to laugh about, so I can look grumpy as much as I'd like to." he answered slightly amused.  
She turned and stood directly in front of him, laying her hands awkwardly on his cheeks pressing the corners of his mouth up with her thumbs:  
"But I've seen theeeese move upwards at least one or two times the last days."

He pulled her hands away and started to draw lines with his hands from his face to hers, like motioning a tunnel from his eyes:  
"Yeah because when I stand like this, directly in front my vision is this slightly annoying scavenger girl, which is the reason I sometimes tend to forget  
everything else around me."  
Her face went dark red at this and she had this pure grin on her face, so she decided to kiss him really fast, so he wouldn't see how red she is.  
Of course, he saw - again. But he just smiled too into their kiss.

They parted when Rey's face felt not so hot anymore. She looked at him, smiling like a little girl and said: "I need to contact the base. I forgot yesterday. They need to know we reached Luke. And I need to somehow tell them, that he is not coming back with me. Also...what shall I tell them about you? Don't get all aggressive on me again!  
But Leia will know why you are here and if everyone is all right."

Kylo grew a little tense. He forgot. Of course, she will contact her so-called friends again.  
"Do not tell them about the reason I am here. I forbid it. As I said before, at your last conversation with them. No information about me, or the First Order, including Snoke."  
She nodded and started to walk down the stairs to their ship. He just stayed still on the top and watched her. "Are you not coming? Don't you wanna check, what I tell them?" she asked and peeked up at him.

"No. I trust you." he answered.


	19. Chapter 19: Yes No

"No. I trust you." he answered.

With that, he turned around and walked away. She smiled a little and went down the stairs to the ship, where she sent a message to Leia and the others about her well being.  
She told them about the situation itself being intense but manageable, as nobody tried to kill someone else by now. About Luke, who accepted her as a pupil and that he sadly does not want to come back to the resistance, but that she will try to persuade him while she is here. She carefully avoided topics about Kylo or his plans about Snoke and his own training. But at least she told Leia, that he is doing okay right now, as she kept on asking the whole time.  
Finn also asked about him, still believing he hurts or manipulates her in some way, muttering swear words every now and then about him.  
But she always denied it, reassuring him, he wouldn't hurt her, until Finn shut up about it.  
Leia also wanted to know if Kylo has defected from the first order, but Rey refused to answer that, as she actually wasn't so sure about it herself.  
They kept talking about different topics for some minutes, Rey asking how everyone is doing on the base and her face lit up with joy, when she heard about Finn learning to pilot ships by Poe.

When the conversation was over and she turned off the communicator, she felt herself getting homesick.  
The resistance base wasn't her home, but her friends sure were and she dearly missed them.  
She sat in the pilot's chair, putting her feet up the control panel, pondering about how her future will look like. How long will she stay here? How long will her training take? What will happen if Kylo mastered lightning force? Will he leave her? Will he even come back with her to the rebel's base?  
She would love to see her friends coming along with him, but most of them were either tortured, hurt or their relatives killed by him.  
So there was no chance in the whole galaxy, this would ever be happening.

Then she started thinking about the vision she saw of him as a young boy on the cliff. She really wanted to know why he did that. Surely he didn't succeed as he was very much alive right now. But she wanted to know what made him do so at this young age.  
When she looked out of the ship, it already started getting dark outside, stars shining brightly above her head, but the air still was really warm from the day.

With that she walked out, feeling equally homesick and also sad for Kylo's past and climbed back up the stairs.  
He laid on his back in the grass, next to a fireplace not far from the hut, fire crackling next to him casting lights on his body.  
He looked so serene right now, as if he couldn't hurt a fly.  
She silently walked over and positioned herself next to him. _Is he sleeping? Seriously? Maybe the training exhausted him too._ She thought.

So she did what every sane person would do to a really dangerous, strong force user with his saber clipped to his belt, always feeling like he is being attacked or followed:  
She jumped on to him and was planning on letting herself plop onto his belly trying to surprise-wake-up him.  
But the moment she let herself fall down, not even reaching him, just her knees scraping the grass, his eyes snapped open, his hand shot up and he instantly froze her mid-falling in the air with the force, so she couldn't move a bit.  
"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" he asked startled as he let his head fall back again when he saw it was her.  
As she could just move her face and nothing else, she just grinned and said: "No. But you should relax. Nobody tries to attack you here."

He grinned back just slightly and propped himself up on his elbows. "Is that so? I just experienced a vicious attack on my life in my sleep by a certain scavenger!"  
He put his hands on her hips, his face was now at the same height as her belly.  
"So, I decide that she deserves some kind of punishment for this behaviour."  
With that he slid up her top and exposed the skin of her stomach, which instantly gave her goosebumps.  
"Hey stop force freezing me, it's unfair!" she said as she tried to move.

But her voice wasn't as strong as she wanted it to be. He let his head move forward to her abdomen and kissed her next to her bellybutton in a torturingly slow manner, letting his tongue slip out, licking her skin, leaving a wet trail down to the beginning of her pants, while circling his thumbs on her hips.  
When he even started to tuck down her waistband a little, planting kisses on her lower abdomen,  
she felt her body going crazy over this, a tingling feeling passing through her most sensitive spots.  
"Oh...stop...mmmhhm...stop it." she moaned at him.

He suddenly let him fall down on his back, hands behind his head watching her. "Ok." he just said and grinned at her knowingly.  
Her eyes widened at him drawing back and she panted: "What? No! I mean yes! Please don't stop!"  
He just waved his hand at that and teased her: "Na, too late. I already stopped. I think I'm gonna hold you like this and watch you suffer."  
With that he sent images of really explicit content to her mind through their bond. She closed her eyes at that and started panting, her mouth slightly open. She has gotten so moist, she wondered if he could already see it through her pants. Just when he showed her an image of his head licking a trail down between her naked thighs, the vision abruptly stopped, so did her moaning. Her eyes flew open and she looked at him in a trance-like state, mumbling a: "Whoa you just what...?".

He sat upright and stood up, walking over to the fire and poked a stick in it to move some ash aside. It started to burn brighter again.  
Then with a wave of his hand he released her and she plopped on her knees.

She turned her head to him in disbelief: "This was the worst kind of torture ever!"  
He smirked and kept poking the fire: "But nevertheless you enjoyed it."  
"Yeah. No! I did not. Maybe. But. No. Fuck you. For real!" she crossed her arms and pouted at him.  
"Can I come over and kiss you now, or what? No more mind games!"

He nodded his head at her: "Come over already!" She crawled to him and placed herself in his arm, kissing him passionately whilst sitting at the warm fire.  
There still was lots of sexual tension between them, but they didn't dwell on it again, they just bathed in each other's presence.  
When they parted from the kiss, he caressed her head which she laid on his chest.

Everything just felt so right and Rey couldn't help but feel her heart flutter every time, she heard his voice or looked up into his face.  
She told him about the conversation she had with Leia and Finn and that Leia is caring so much about him. He kept quiet about it but nodded as in understanding her.  
Then they kept talking about their training today, the island, Luke and how she was feeling homesick.  
At some point she asked him about the vision she had at their mind probing today, which he hesitantly answered.  
It was at a time, where Snoke was pushing into his mind every day, telling him the worst things about his parents, his friends, his teachers, his whole life.  
Successfully turning him to the dark side at this young age.  
As Kylo wasn't able to distinguish between his own thoughts and Snoke anymore back then, he tried to end his life in an attempt to flee out of this mental torture.  
But Leia caught him the last second before he fell down the cliff and this was also the day, she decided to send him away to Luke.  
It was such a sad story, Rey felt tears welling up in her eyes and she tried to hug him so tight as in trying to squeeze these memories out of his head.

They kept talking until late in the night, but at some point they started to fall asleep in the grass, next to the burning fire,  
Rey's head on Kylo's chest, his hands keeping her body steadily pressed against his own.

When Luke left his hut in the morning taking his walk around the island, as he does every day, he saw a nearly extinguished fire at the fireplace and Kylo and Rey laying next to it in a deep embrace, sleeping soundly.  
He has never seen his nephew this content, even his normally angry dark aura had changed to something more fleeting, their energy entangled in a way,  
it was hard to tell their signatures apart anymore. It was obvious she was pulling him to the light side of the force, but as Kylo always was a really unstable person, Luke also knew it just takes a small event to trigger him to fall down into the dark abyss again, she helped him to crawl out.

So Luke just went on to his stroll around his island, thinking about how their training will look like today and about how Han would react if he would see his son in such a content way as he is now - if he was still alive.  
When he came back half an hour later, they still hadn't moved an inch, as they must be in a really deep slumber.  
Luke became slightly unnerved by this and went over to them and really loudly cleared his throat.  
Rey instantly propped her upper body up and screamed: "I did not!" whilst Kylo just opened his eyes looking confused from Rey to Luke.  
Luke raised an eyebrow and smiled at her. "You did what?"  
Rey sleepily rubbed her eyes and looked back to Luke, then to Kylo.  
Then her face turned red. "I dreamed of stealing a chocolate bar from you Kylo and then lying you about it."

Luke laughed out loud at this and said: "So, already joining the dark side, aren't we? Let's start the training."  
They both stood up, readying themselves.  
Again they did their mind probing, this time it was Kylo prying into Rey's mind, at first with success, but after some time it became harder for him, to break through.  
As he already was an experienced force user he wasn't drained nearly as fast as she was the day before. He kept on pushing her mind until Luke told him to stop, as she was near a blackout. They kept on doing that until he wasn't able to get any more images out of her head anymore and she was thoroughly drained. Luke had to halt Kylo more than once, as he always tried to push her even more.

This night they didn't sleep outside again but in the bed of Luke's hut. As they have never slept in a bed together, it felt like a blessing to them, as they snuggled under the soft covers so close together, they forget which body parts belonged to whom.

Every day they trained with Luke, the tension between the Jedi and Kylo was always there but faltered over the days. It just flamed up when they had different opinons about the force or it's boundaries. Kylo knew Luke is training Rey on the light side of the force and he didn't like it much, but he didn't say anything about it or tried to change that, as he knew he had made a deal on really thin ice and he didn't want to blow it.


	20. Chapter 20: Rage

As the days went by, both became better with blocking each other out. Kylo never was good at this as he had problems concentrating and keeping still for so long as well as he always had the shadow of Snoke looming over his mind, but for some reason he felt himself getting stronger with the force as she was around. If it happened due to their bond, he didn't know. When he talked about it with Luke and Rey, Luke revealed him, that his force signature has changed over the time, adapting some of Rey's aura in it.  
Rey also felt herself getting stronger, but first thought solely her training was causing it. As both explained that her progress is much faster than it normally is for force users, she also understood the importance of their bond to her own development.

They already stayed at Ahch-To about a week, when Luke suggested Kylo to finally train force lightning.  
So the next morning they met in the valley again, Rey was watching closely as Luke explained to him how the way of the force works when he wants to use lightning power.  
After the hours went by as Luke was explaining everything, he warned Kylo multiple times about falling into the dark side again from using it and dared him to not fall back.

Kylo's task at hand was to ignite a dry heap of straw in front of him with a spark from his fingertip.  
He sat there for full twelve hours without moving a muscle, eyes closed in deep meditation.  
After half an hour of watching him, Rey left and started her own training, this time in lightsaber combat forms with Luke.  
When she was finished and came back with Skywalker in the evening, Kylo was still sitting on the ground unmoved.  
The straw was burned in a small area but nothing else happened to it.  
Luke's eyes widened at this and said to Kylo: "It's burned! You already did it?! You made a spark jump over?"

Kylo's eyes opened, they looked glassy from exhaustion. "Yeah. About four hours ago it happened. But it just worked because I was getting frustrated and angry, which fueled the dark side, which then gave me the power for it." He sighed. "I refrained from it since then and nothing has happened again."

"You mustn't dwell on the dark side anymore. It is good you realised it yourself and instantly refrained from using it.  
Both of you need to rest now, it was a long day and we keep up your training tomorrow morning."  
They both nodded and Kylo stood up, rubbing his face with one hand.  
Together they went back to the hut, everyone equally exhausted.

When he was readied for bed, he just let himself fall facedown into the pillows, waiting for Rey to crawl into his arms and finally be able to sleep.  
After a minute or so she also climbed under the sheets, wearing just a shirt and a small panty and laid herself next to him. He was spooning her from behind and kept on caressing her hip, his hand wandering to her bottom as she was pressing it against his groin area. She turned her head backwards and they kissed intensely,  
tongues searching each other hungrily. They both started to get aroused and their kissing led to fumbling, which led to their hands all over the body of the other one.  
After some time, they pulled their heads away to regain their breath. They stared passionately into the other one's eyes, until Rey whispered: "Sleep? Now?"  
He planted a kiss on her shoulder and sleepily answered: "You bet!".  
With that, they snuggled into each other and fell asleep in a matter of seconds.

The next days were pretty much the same. Rey trained lightsaber combat with Luke, while Kylo endlessly tried to ignite the heap of straw in front of him.  
After the fourth day and several times slipping into the dark side from frustration, where he started to feel small sparks at his fingertips he finally asked Rey to attack him, while he will try to ignite the hay with sparks. As he was sure he would do much better if he was in combat than he would do in a meditative state as force lightning is an aggressive, not a passive ability.  
Of course Luke objected instantly and they had an argument, that in his opinion Kylo was too impatient, wanting to make it easier for himself and that he doesn't listen to the light side.

At some point they even started yelling at each other as Kylo was sure, he would never be able to use the light side so adeptly he would ever learn it,  
so he was obliged to use the dark side.  
When Luke started to threaten to cut the deal, if Kylo wouldn't listen, Rey finally stepped in and yelled at Luke:  
"We don't have much time left against Snoke! You will never turn Kylo back to the light! If you didn't succeed his whole life before, how do you want it to do now? This will not work! I can't believe you don't see this! He always used the dark side and that's where he feels home. It's not always black and white!"

Luke instantly shut up about it and stomped back to this hut, leaving them standing there.  
After their argument Kylo was so enraged he ignited his saber and slashed at some rocks behind them, big parts of stones falling into the water as they rolled down the cliff.

At this sight Rey got an idea.

She also ignited her saber and attacked him right away. He was totally surprised at her action and parried her strike with a confusing look.  
Rey just screamed: "Come on! Fight me! Let your rage run free! Or do you just keep on staring at me like an idiot?"  
"What? What's up with you now?" he yelled at her still confused.  
"You are disappointing Luke! Again! How will you ever fight Snoke like this?" She slashed at him, again and again, he just parried all her blows easily.  
"Are you too scared to fight me? Where is your anger? Do you go soft on me because you have compassion for me or something? That's just weak!" she teased him.

"What? No! Are you crazy?" he shouted as he finally lunged out, to not just parry, but to attack her.  
So now they had a real fight whilst screaming at each other she tried to insult him as best as she could, without being too hurtful but with things she knew, he took pride in. As he totally fell for it, his rage kept building up, his blows becoming stronger with every second. She already had trouble to not be totally overpowered by him. Now she was the one who needed to parry every blow, as there was no more room left for her own attacks. But she managed to lure him back to the heap of straw and when he again raised his saber to strike at her, instead of parrying it with her own weapon, she just stepped aside, the heap of straw right behind her and she sent a message through their bond:  
 _Burn it down! Now!_

He instantly understood and released one hand from his saber, stretching it out and letting out a stream of lightning, which instantly set the whole haystack on fire.  
They both stood there panting, flames dancing in their eyes as they watched the fire flare up before them. Kylo just mouthed an: "Oh." surprised about himself.  
As Rey nudged him in the arm she said with a smile on her face. "You did it!"  
"Sorry I insulted you. Just half of it is true actually." she sarcastically said. He turned his face to her, still shocked at what he was able to do right now.  
"You did this on purpose, to enrage me?" Then he pondered for a second about it. "Obviously it worked very well."

Then they both realised Luke had left the house to watch them fight, he had also seen Kylo use force lightning, now slowly approaching them.  
They already panicked inwardly discussing silently through their bond, that Luke is going to send them both away now.  
But to their surprise he did not.  
He just stated: "I have to apologise to you two. Ben I saw you using the dark side for fighting and the lightning power. The darkness was strong in you.  
But after you used it, you were instantly pulled back into the light."

"Why?" Kylo asked puzzled.

"It's Rey. She is bringing you back to the light." Luke answered, stroking his beard.

"How does she do it?" Kylo asked still confused.

 _"She is your light."_


	21. Chapter 21: Weapon

The next day Kylo wasn't able to use force lightning like yesterday again, even when he tried it with the help of the dark side.  
He could only produce small sparks on his fingertips, but obviously he needed to train it more, or be in a combat or at least in some kind of rage fit.  
So after some hours of frustrating attempts he decided to take a break and strolled over to Luke and Rey's training ground.  
He hadn't seen Rey train since they arrived and he had only seen her fight in stressed situations, like on starkiller base, the arena or yesterday.

So he was really curious about her development and seeing her fighting style the first time without any distraction.  
When he arrived at their training ground he sat himself on the grass some meters away and watched them. Luke was levitating stones into her direction,  
while her eyes were covered with a piece of cloth and she had to ward them off with her saber.

She was able to deflect most of them, at least when it was just one stone coming at her.  
But when Luke increased the number of rocks flying towards her she always was too slow to parry the ones coming after the first one.  
She already had some scratches and bruises on her face and arms from being hit by the sharper ones.

When she was too frustrated Luke stopped the stones coming at her and levitated them around her body, whilst she was to tell him in which direction they are going. Apparently, she knew exactly where they were and she could always tell, even if Luke increased the speed.  
So why was she not able to hit them with her saber when she exactly knew where they are? Kylo thought.

So he walked over nodding at Luke, as a sign of asking him, if it's ok and positioned himself right next to him, watching her intensely while she started to deflect the stones again with her lightsaber.

Kylo stood there in silence watching her every move, while Luke was telling her to focus on the force and correcting her footing.  
After some time Kylo spotted a pattern behind every failed attempt to deflect the stones.  
When she successfully hit the first stone and wanted to parry the second one, she always slightly tilted the hilt of the saber first, then spun herself around trying to strike it too, but was always too slow, which was because of her first move. It was the smallest of gestures and it was easily overlooked.  
But ones he saw it, he couldn't unsee it and it just happened every time she failed.

Kylo cleared his throat and silently asked Luke: "May I?" He just nodded: "Go on."  
"Rey?" he said with a louder voice in her direction. She pulled down her blindfold and smiled at him. "Yeah? What is it?"  
"Back then on Jakku, did you have any other fighting experience?" he asked while crossing arms overs on his chest.  
"Yeah, couple. I had to fend off other scavengers and thugs pretty often." she shrugged her shoulders.  
"Ok. You certainly used some kind of weapon. It wasn't a blaster, judging from your poor shooting when you tried to kill me back then on Starkiller base."  
Kylo teased her.

"It wasn't that bad!" she pouted. "But yeah, I'd normally use my staff back then."

Kylo smacked a hand on his forehead. "OF COURSE! That's it! You had a staff! I knew it! Wait a second!" with that he ran off to some nearby trees,  
ignited his saber and cut down a large branch, of which he also cut down some smaller twigs and leaves.  
Rey looked over to Luke questioningly, he just shrugged his shoulders and also waited for what will happen next.  
When Kylo was done he came back with a long, thin, nearly straight branch in his hand and handed it over to her, while taking her lightsaber from her hand.  
Then he kneeled down three meters away from her with so much anticipation in his eyes she was confused. "Put the blindfold back on and show me!"

She hesitantly put it on again, mumbling something about why this should be of importance to her saber training, but she obeyed anyway.  
Luke nodded to Kylo, now understanding what he was trying to find out and started levitating stones into her direction again.  
Directly at the first attempt, she was able to parry all incoming stones, as the little tilting gesture she always did with her weapon, wasn't slowing her down anymore, but was helping her to deflect them even faster now with the other side of the staff. No stone came through anymore and she danced around them like she has never done anything else. She spun the branch over her head in fleeting motions and let it switch between her hands so fast it was easy to miss.

As she was dancing around, her body moving on its own, Kylo couldn't help but watch with utter amazement. His eyes followed her every move and he felt his heart swell up with pride for her as he saw she already was an expert at staff wielding. When he imagined her not wielding a staff, but a saberstaff like that, he felt his heart pound with excitement against his chest as she would be so incredibly good at it.

As Luke stopped the levitating stones very pleased with her performance, she pulled down her blindfold and looked confused back and forth between the two men.  
"I still don't quite understand. How shall this help with my saber training? This is something entirely different."

"No, it's not. You just don't have the right saber. You need a double-bladed one." Kylo answered with a grin on his face.  
"Double-bladed? Seriously? Like a staff but with two blades? There are saber's like that? I didn't know - I...I just thought they all look like swords of some kind!" she called out now equally excited.

Luke held up his hand to lower her excitement: "Yes there are other kinds of lightsabers. Most force users use the original sword form, but there were a few who used different kinds, like the mentioned saberstaff. As much as I'd like to agree with Ben, I don't have the parts here to let you build one, so unfortunately you have to keep training with a normal lightsaber while you are here. But one day in the future you will wield your very own double-bladed lightsaber."

After this revelation, Luke and Rey kept on training until the evening. At first Kylo watched but after some time he returned to his own training where he was absolutely unsuccessful because his mind drifted too often to Rey's previous performance.

When it was already dark and Luke was in his hut, Rey and Kylo decided to take a stroll together around the island. The sky was clear and they could see millions of stars above their heads. They talked about their training and Kylo explained to her how he built his lightsaber and what kyber crystals are and how Jedi typically obtain them.  
As he revealed her that his crystal is split, she found it rather fitting to his whole personality. At some point in their conversation, he started to take her hand in his while walking. She was a little baffled at this and looked at him in a strange way. When he asked her about it, she just stated, that he never seemed like a guy to hold hands with anyone. But then she corrected herself as in stating that he actually also never seemed like a guy who would fall in love.

He tensed at this and stopped walking instantly. "You think I fell in love?" he asked her with a shocked expression.  
She felt hurt by his sudden outburst as she was sure, he feels like she does. "You did not?" she uncertainly asked now.

"Love and compassion are such strong emotions. Since years I have been trained to not feel these, which made me strong.  
I don't even know if I am capable of these things. Loving someone makes you weak, as in others can destroy you with threatening your loved ones.  
I prefer to not love anyone." he answered without looking at her.  
"Uhm. Okay." she mumbled, as her eyes started to water. She could feel her chest tightening. She let got off his hand and silently kept walking next to him.

Their conversation halted at this and an uncomfortable atmosphere laid between them since his last words.  
She couldn't take it anymore and just stated that she is going to bed now because she feels tired.  
He let her go and didn't follow.  
As she readied herself for the night she started to cry. She practically implicated how she feels towards him and he devastated her with just one sentence.  
Normally she is this strong, independent woman, but not being loved back, being left standing like that, it just felt like being left on Jakku, without anybody telling her she matters or that she is loved. It hurt. A lot.

She started to cry into her pillow and after what felt like hours she finally fell asleep with red puffy eyes. Kylo never came to their bed this night and she didn't understand what she did wrong.

In the middle of the night, she woke up as she felt something. Some kind of presence. In the dark she tried to look around and patted her hand next to her, but still no Kylo.  
But she could swear she felt him just seconds ago. She drifted back to sleep feeling overwhelmingly sad.


	22. Chapter 22: Sorry

The next morning she woke up with goosebumps on her skin, as she was freezing. No super warm Kylo Ren snuggling into her on their shared bed.  
This left her feeling empty inside, but she readied herself anyways for training. She reached for him through their bond, but he had his walls up, so she had no chance.

She dressed and went out, yawning. Luke sat on a stool in front of the hut, waiting for her. As she came out, he stood up and asked: "Shall we begin?"  
"Yeah...uhm...sure. Master Luke? Did you...did you see Kylo today?" she asked, wanting to know if they talked or something happened between them.

Luke raised an eyebrow at her, suspecting something. "Yes I saw him. He is meditating down on a cliff since early morning. Did something happen between you two?  
His aura has changed. It's darker somehow."

"Oh, it is? Ok. I have to check that later on. Uhm. No, nothing special happened. I mean, we didn't have a fight or anything. He just acted really strange yesterday and didn't sleep in the hut. Actually, I don't know where he went last night." she told him, uncertainty in her voice.  
"Hmm, that sounds unusual. Do you wanna talk to him first, before training?" Luke asked.

"Yes, I think so. I am going over to him right away." with that, she started to walk to said cliff, where Kylo sat cross-legged in his usual black robes on the rocky formation, facing the ocean, his back turned to her. As she was just about three meters away from him, he opened their bond a little and shouted at her: _Don't!_

She just stood still, feeling there was something really wrong going on, his aura had changed and she found his behaviour to be utterly alarming.

She didn't want to give in, as she thought she deserves to know what is going on right now.  
So she approached him anyway and kneeled herself next to him. As he didn't react she bend herself forward a little to see his face. He had dark circles under his eyes, which were closed in deep concentration, then he started to tremble slightly. Now she was getting really nervous and asked:  
"Kylo? Kylo what's happening? Please tell me!"

His eyes snapped open and he looked pained into her eyes. "No!" he just panted out between gritted teeth and grabbed his head desperately.  
She panicked and instantly jumped up and screamed over the whole place: "LUUUUUKE! LUKE! COME HERE! NOW!"

Luke heard it as he wasn't that far away and instantly came running towards them.  
He also knelt down next to Kylo and pressed his hand to his forehead.  
Rey had her hand on his shoulder and panicky asked every few seconds what is happening.  
Luke closed his eyes and penetrated Kylo's mind with the force.

There he saw it. Snoke. He reached out to Kylo, penetrating his mind with full force now. Obviously, he had done that for hours by now and Kylo was able to cloud his mind enough for Snoke to think he was sleeping or not conscious.

 _My apprentice Kylo Ren. Where have you been? You seem to be so far away. We'll talk about this some other time._  
 _I want you to move to_ D'Qar _in an instant. General Hux is already on his way with a fleet, we will take revenge on the rebel scum. I'll expect you to be there immediately._

As Luke heard this he instantly rendered Kylo unconscious through the force, before Snoke was able to sniff out any important pieces of information. _  
_Kylo just slumped into Rey's arms. She looked panicky over to Luke, as she hadn't heard Snoke's words and now held a passed out Kylo on her hands.  
"What happened? What is this?" she screamed at him, while stroking Kylo's face frantically, trying to wake him up.

Luke looked with the most distressed face at her and answered: "It's Snoke. He invaded his mind. The First Order is planning an attack on D'Qar right now.  
They are arriving soon. Ben probably tried to keep him out the whole time until you disturbed his meditation. I don't know why he didn't contact me before. Maybe he wasn't able to because it would have disrupted him. I could feel Snoke's power just from mind reading Ben. It was so...overwhelming. I have never felt a stronger entity than this. He is really, really dangerous. I don't know how Ben kept him out before, I wasn't even able to do it right now, I had to render him unconscious."

Rey's eyes widened: "WHAT? WHAT? An attack on D'Qar? What? I have to go there right now! WE have to go there Luke! WE need to help them!"  
Luke shook his head. "No. Rey. I am sorry I can't go. I promised myself to not be a part of this war again. I am through this. I won't leave.  
Please accept this and do not ask me again. General Leia will find a way. She always does."

With that Luke stood up and walked away, leaving Rey with an unconscious Kylo on the ground. She started to cry with anger as she felt so left alone by everyone.  
How could Luke do that to her? To Leia? To Chewie and everyone else? She couldn't believe this.  
And what about Kylo? Is this why he was acting so strange? Was Snoke bugging him before or why did he change his mood so fast? And why didn't he tell her?

She had no answers to any of these questions. But she knew, she had to go back to the ship right now and go to D'Qar. Would she leave Kylo there and just go?  
When will he wake up again? And even if he does, he probably won't go and save the resistance. More questions without answers.  
Yes, she must go. She can't wait. She rolled him carefully from her lap, gave him a kiss on his forehead, stood up and ran to the ship, which was about three minutes from there. When she reached it, she opened the door and seated herself in the pilot's chair. As she turned on the engines she typed in the coordinates and started the autopilot.

Then she waited for it to depart. Except - it didn't.

 _What the hell? What is this now? This can't be!_  
She frantically searched for the problem until after some time she realised it was due to the ship asking for the pilot's ID. So the ship was configured it would just start with Kylo's fingerprint. _Great just great! I have to drag him here, so the ship can start?_ she thought. Just when she turned around,  
wanting to go out, the door opened and Kylo stood in there. He had a really dark, angry impression on his face and glanced at her.

"So you are leaving?" he asked with a grim voice.  
"Kylo! You are awake! I am sorry, I didn't know how long you'd be out! I need to go to D'Qar right now. They need my help. Please!" she pleaded.

He didn't answer her, but walked to the control panel and put his index finger on a spot hidden under some hand gears.  
The door closed and the autopilot confirmed the destination.

"Are you coming with me? Are you helping?" she asked perplexed.

The engines started and they soon jumped into hyperspace.

"We are both going to D'Qar." he just stated without any signs of emotion.

Rey had some kind of really bad feeling about everything happening right now. But she didn't know what will happen. "Kylo what is happening?  
Please talk to me! I don't understand it. Why are you so distant?"

He turned around and gave her a really long intense look. Then he slowly walked over to her and held up his arm, motioning for her to embrace him.  
She hesitantly took a step forward and put her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He pulled her to him and laid his hand on her head.  
It felt so good to be near him again, but something was definitely off about his aura and the whole situation.  
With both arms around his torso, she looked up at him wanting to ask again what is going on. But he put one hand up to her temple, slowly stroking it with his thumb.  
When their eyes met, she knew she will never forget his glance.  
It was the same one, he had when he killed his father.  
His soul is being torn apart and the last thing she heard through their bond before she was gone was:

 _I am sorry._


	23. Chapter 23: Death

She was harshly woken up by a yanking on her arms. Then she was dragged out through a door.  
When she finally was able to open her eyes she saw two stormtroopers restraining her and pulling her out of the ship, in which she actually planned to go to D'Qar with Kylo. As she came to her senses she frantically turned her head around to take in all her surroundings.

The first thing she saw was a dark hooded figure in front of her. It was Kylo Ren in full battle attire, with his helmet, cape, gloves and everything else which makes him look so unbelievably fearsome. When they walked through the door she saw the hangar of the resistance base. There were stormtroopers everywhere she looked. Also, some rebels lying either dead or hurt on the ground, some others were huddled together whilst troopers held weapons to their heads.

Then Kylo stopped, so did the stormtroopers who held her. She saw him standing in front of General Hux both lightsabers dangling from his belt, some meters away were six equally dark dressed figures with all different kind of weapons in their hands. Their look strangely resembled the look from their master.

For every second that went by, she started to understand what happened. What Kylo did to her. What his whole plan was from the beginning.

 _Make this stupid scavenger girl trust him, make her see him as a lovable human being, make her even develop feelings for him, make her vulnerable.  
In the end, he would get everything that he needed from her. Luke, the resistance base, his mother, the new power of force lightning.  
He just took everything and she totally fell for it. Now everyone will die and it will solely be her fault._

She opened her mouth to scream at him, she wanted to stab her saber through his heart, she wanted to rip his head with this stupid helmet from his shoulders. But the moment her mouth formed the word "Asshole" he just threw his arm behind his back, freezing her whole body. She couldn't even move her mouth anymore to scream at him.

The troopers dropped her ungracefully to the ground where she just plopped onto her belly.

As Kylo and General Hux now stood facing each other, Hux said: "Well well Kylo Ren. For once you did everything according to plan. The base is under control, we have General Organa and surprisingly you also brought the scavenger girl. Supreme Leader Snoke will be more than pleased." he grinned at that and Kylo just nodded.

When Hux talked about Leia, Kylo turned his head around and looked at her. She was kneeling on the ground, about ten meters from them, held at gunpoint by two troopers. She was obviously hurt, shot on her shoulder, as she was holding her hand to her bloodied uniform. Poe sat next to her and held her arm, whilst trying to reassure her.  
Kylo walked over and positioned himself in front of her. Poe instantly started cursing at him but was stopped when one trooper beat him with the hilt of his gun.  
As Kylo came face to face with her, he grabbed her head in a rough way and ripped it up facing him. She had tears in her eyes and just whispered: "Ben...Ben, please.  
Don't do this."

He didn't say anything but yanked her head away again, so she was forced to look somewhere else. Then he walked back to Hux. Leia watched him go, as tears now streamed freely down her cheeks. She had never seen her son since his teenage years. This was the first time he touched her since he left. It was a cold, crude gesture but for some reason, it felt warm. Warmth, which flew through her whole body. It was like he had let the force flow through her. Did he do this? To reassure her moments before her certain death?  
She didn't understand it and watched her son intensely while he walked back to that redhaired general.

Rey saw this whole scene and couldn't bear it. His cold behaviour in front of his mother, knowing perfectly well, that she is going to get killed today.  
In the corner of her eyes, she also saw Finn, who was held down by some troopers together with other rebels.  
There were maybe around hundred rebels and two hundred stormtroopers in the hangar left, watching this whole scene.

As Kylo reached Hux again, the general said: "General Organa will be punished with death for her actions. Supreme Leader Snoke wished for you to perform the deed.  
Also, I was just informed that the stormtrooper FN-2187, who defected from the First Order quite some time ago is on this base too.  
I was told you know which one it was. Please tell me who the one is, so he can be executed in an instant. The other stormtroopers deserve to see,  
what happens if you become a traitor."

"Of course general." Kylo answered and started walking through the rows of troopers and rebels. As Rey heard this she screamed inside her mind so much,  
her head started to hurt.  
But she was still frozen she couldn't move, not even make a sound, couldn't reach him through their bond as he had blocked her completely. _  
Kylo Ren is going to kill Finn right now. And she has to watch._  
She looked over at Finn who was sweating nervously but tried not to move, to not grab any attention.  
 _What has she done? What in the galaxy has she done, letting this monster still walk around, when she had every chance to kill him in his sleep every night?_

Kylo slowly walked alongside the rebels, looking around as he was searching Finn. There just was about one meter left between the two men and he even looked at the former trooper for a second.  
Finn already closed his eyes as he was prepared to die any second.  
Then Kylo Ren's mechanical voice sounded through his mask, calling out to Hux: "He is not on this base. I do not see or feel him here. He must either be already dead or hiding somewhere. Your information must be wrong. Do not bother me with such nonsense again."

Rey's eyes widened at that. What? Why? He stood directly in front of him. He even looked at him. How could he say, he's not here? What game is he playing?  
 _Did he not recognize Finn? He must know it's him! Why didn't he rat him out?_

"What? But.." Hux stuttered. Kylo turned around fast, walking past the six darkly dressed figures rushing over to Hux and screamed. "General Hux! You order me to this very place for such insignificant things like executing a traitorous stormtrooper, who isn't even here! You order MY knights to spend their valuable time on this base which could have been easily taken by just a dozen stormtroopers if you'd train them right and at last you made me abandon my own mission to come here and watch your victory?  
Are you out of your mind?"

General Hux had lost all of his emotion in his face, as he wasn't prepared for this, since all of these orders came from Snoke directly, which he didn't question. "The Supreme Leader..." he started but was cut off by Kylo Ren again, as he built himself up in front of him, screaming: "The Supreme Leader did not order the Knights of Ren to come here.  
I am in charge of them and I order the knights right now, to go back to their missions in an instant. They are not to be borrowed as a support for your lacking troops!"

Rey blinked at this, still not understanding what is happening. The other rebels and even the stormtroopers started to look around confused as both men were arguing.

As the Knights of Ren didn't move an inch, Kylo slowly turned around facing them. "Didn't you listen? I order you to go back to your ship now and follow Supreme Leaders mission again!"

Behind him, Hux face grew into the most diabolical grin and he lifted his hands to a slow clap. "Kylo Ren. I am so thankful for this show. Supreme Leader Snoke said, that's exactly what you would be doing when you arrive. Try to order the Knights of Ren back, to leave your precious resistance fighters alive. So I see you are also a traitor now.  
No - let me correct myself. You always were!"

With that, the knights readied their weapons and slowly started walking in his direction.

Then Kylo did something absolutely unexpected. His left hand flew with an open palm into the air and he held it above his head.  
In this very second, every stormtrooper on the base was pulled up into the air. There were about two hundred troopers flying about ten meters above the hangar, they screamed and wiggled around, trying to get down. This scene looked so unrealistic everyone gawked into the sky with open mouths.  
Then Kylo smashed his now closed fist down, also crushing the troopers back on the ground with it. There was a bone-shattering sound as necks were snapped, legs broken and limbs dislocated. And everything went quiet for a second as all these dead bodies laid motionless on the ground.

Rey watched this whole gruesome scene with disbelief.  
He just killed two hundred troopers with one flick of his hand! But she also felt his energy reserve was drained - a lot.  
He was exhausted after this. Much actually. She tried to press into his mind through their bond, but he still blocked her.

General Hux watched in horror as all of his troopers laid on the floor unmoving. He instantly grabbed his blaster and shot at Kylo Ren. He froze the shots in midair and rushed forwards, igniting his lightsaber and beheaded the general right away. As Hux's head fell down to the ground it rolled in front of some rebels, who instantly crawled away from it. His dead body slumped forward in front of Kylo's feet, but he didn't move an inch away.

There was an angry howl coming from the Knights of Ren, which now all ran into his direction, weapons above their heads.

Kylo waved his hand and unfroze Rey, then turned his head to her and screamed: "NOW!" as he clipped her lightsaber from his belt and threw it over to her.  
She instantly understood and ignited her saber too, jumping up and running to the fight.

Kylo and Rey were now fighting against the knights barely holding up. Rey because she had two men against her and Kylo, because he was drained and had four men against him. But they together found a rhythm at fighting and protecting each other from the incoming attacks, standing after some time back to back kicking and slashing at their enemies. They used their bond to organize their attacks as Rey let herself fall on his back for a second, simultaneously slashing through the neck of one knight in front of Kylo over her head and kicking another one away with her feet, while he was slashing through the legs of another knight next to him.

Four to go.

The rebels on the base watched them with mouth agape as they danced their cruel dance through their enemies. Their fight was in perfect sync with each other and it looked like they knew exactly what the other one would be doing at every second. They didn't try to help them or shoot at the knights because it was just a swirl of lights and darkly clothed people in such a fast pace it was impossible to shot at the knights without risking to shoot Rey too.

They were both panting heavily from the fast-paced fight as they were dodging the attacks, at one point a knight grabbed Rey's arm and pulled her away from Kylo, which he realized fast enough and threw his saber right into the head of the attacker, now standing there without a weapon. When the knight fell down Rey realized she now had two sabers and Kylo none, so she instantly threw her own saber back to him, which he caught and drew backwards right into the stomach of the knight attacking him from behind.

Three to go.

Kylo was now fighting one men who had a darksaber.  
Mostly he parried or evaded his blows because he didn't have enough strength after the execution of all these stormtroopers, so he wasn't able to deal out many strikes anymore.

Rey was fighting against two knights and it wasn't looking too good either. She managed to kick one of the knights into Kylo's direction to which he instantly reacted and impaled him through the chest with his father's lightsaber while ducking away from the attack of the other knight who was fighting him.

Two to go.

The knight who fought with Rey was pushing her back, she barely couldn't hold it against him alone without Kylo backing her up. Also, she was really drained and out of breath and was using Kylo's lightsaber now which was so unruly and too strong under her trembling hands and she had to watch out to not cut her hands with the endings.  
The remaining knight realized her weaknesses instantly and threw her on the ground with the fist around her neck.  
She laid on her back as he hovered over her, raising the weapon above his head to let it sink into her body. She screamed and tried to crawl away, but just before the axe slashed into her, the knight froze and didn't move anymore. This left her the opening she needed to plunge the lightsaber into his chest. She instantly looked over to Kylo who had stopped his own fight to outstretch his arm into her direction. He had frozen the knight with the force with his last energy reserves. He was already kneeling as he was absolutely exhausted and panted heavily.

The dark hooded figure, which was the last Knight of Ren now, also saw his opening and punched Kylo in the face - hard. He stumbled back and fell to his knees, a second later the knight grabbed his collar and buried the darksaber right into Kylo's chest, then slowly dragged it out as he was grunting from pain.

Just then the knight was shot in the back of his head and dropped down to the side, by no one else than Leia Organa. "NOBODY KILLS MY SON!" she screamed hysterically as she also made her way to her son.

"NOOOOOO!" Rey screamed as she also felt Kylo's pain through the bond.  
She clawed at her own chest and started to run over to him too.

Kylo fell down on all fours and ripped his mask off his head with one hand, throwing it in front of him. Lots of blood was gushing out of his mouth and he had trouble breathing.  
The second Rey reached him, he collapsed in a puddle of his own blood.  
She instantly knelt herself down to him, raising his head on her lap and screamed at him, pressing her hands panicky on his wound.

"Don't you do this to me! Don't you do this to me! Don't you die now! I dare you! You are not allowed to die! Please don't die! Kylo! I need you! You must not die right now! Please! Fuck! Don't do this!"

So many tears were streaming down her face which made it hard to see anything and she sobbed erratically.  
Leia had also reached them and now too cradled her son together with Rey in her arms. She was crying equally much, screaming for a medic frantically.  
The first time she held her son in her arms for years, will also be the time where he dies.  
If this isn't ironic than nothing else is.

Kylo's face was covered in his own blood now, which just dripped out of his mouth and his breathing sounded rattling. He grabbed Rey's hand and his trembling eyes wandered from his mother to Rey and he sent both a message via the force as his eyes closed and his movement and breathing stopped.

 _I failed you. I love you. I am sorry._


	24. Chapter 24: Bond

_I failed you. I love you. I am sorry._

Rey and Leia exchanged concerned glances at that as they both heard it. A second later he closed his eyes and his breathing and movement stopped.  
He was gone.

Leia held a hand to her mouth as she cried intensely, the other hand went over and over through his hair, whilst she mumbled: "My son, my baby, my son." again and again.  
Some meters behind her, the medics have arrived and watched the whole scene, they hesitated to help as they already saw, it was over.  
The whole base was silent, watching them cradle the dark side user, still trying to understand what just happened.

After Rey heard his words in her mind and felt his breathing coming to a stop she let out a piercing scream which transformed into a loud weep when she was out of air.  
She closed her eyes to search for their bond, she couldn't feel it anymore.

Whilst searching for him, something strange happened. She had a vision.  
She was standing in some kind of a dark abyss. It wasn't clear where the top or the bottom was. She couldn't even feel her feet touching the ground.  
She was looking around frantically, why was she here? What is this? She started running in one direction. She didn't know which direction it was and if it's the right one,  
but she just started running. After some time she could make something out in the distance. There was still everything black around her, but something far away was moving. So she started running to this thing, whatever it was.  
As she neared it, she realized it was a thick red cord flowing through the air. The end of it was ripped apart and several loose strands poked out to the sides, it looked like a mess. She couldn't see where the cord ended, it seemed indefinitely long.

When she reached it, she took it in her hand. It was a bright red colour and as she touched it, she saw it staining her fingers red too. Like it was bleeding on her skin.  
She didn't know why she did it, but it felt right at this time. She took the loose strings and braided them together again.  
It took some time as they were getting more slippery every second as they were leaking this red liquid on her hands. As she was braiding it together she saw another string flowing in the distance. She held the one she already had in her hand and dragged it behind her, to walk over to the other cord.  
It looked equally ripped apart, red liquid dripping out from it. So she braided it together too. When she was done, she didn't know what to do then, so she just held the two ends in her hands, trying to find out what to do with them. So she just clashed the now newly braided cords together helplessly and was already discouraged as she didn't know what to do now. But after a few seconds she felt something moving in her hands, as the two strings started to entwine into each other on their own.  
Startled, she nearly let them drop but then just opened up her palms and watched them grow together.

Leia still sat with her dead son in her arms and cried, Rey just let out a loud scream and started weeping uncontrollably. But after some seconds she instantly grew quiet.  
Like she wasn't there anymore. She just sat there with closed eyes and was really quiet, like she was meditating. Leia didn't know what was happening but she felt something changing around her. She felt a wave of warm energy radiating out from Rey, then small stones and metal parts started to levitate around her.  
After some time the ground around Rey cracked and more things started to fly around. Rey still had her eyes closed and was perfectly still as she emitted raw energy all around her.

Leia let her son go and stepped backwards, so did the others as it started to get dangerous from the flying parts. They watched in amazement and also in horror at the spectacle in front of them, not knowing what to do. As the air seemed to grow thicker and the flying parts started to circle Rey, there where some sparks coming from her body. Without opening her eyes, her hand slowly moved from Kylo's face to his chest, onto his wound as the sparks started to grow into blue lightning crawling over to her arm into Kylo's lifeless body.  
Everyone stared in awe at them and nobody dared to move.

Then it instantly stopped. All the levitating stones and metal parts around her dropped to the ground with loud clattering sounds. The sparks and lightning were gone and Rey just slumped unconscious next to Kylo's body on the floor, her hand resting on his arm.  
Everyone looked around confused and chattering started, everyone asked what happened. The medics dared to move first and kneeled down next to the two force users.  
They propped Rey on a medical stretcher and checked Kylo's pulse.

Then one medic turned slowly around to Leia and eyed her, saying just one sentence: "General Organa, your son is alive."  
Leia dropped to her knees and started to cry even more now. "And...and Rey?"  
The medic answered: "She is just unconscious and exhausted."

They were brought to the medical bay, where Rey was put in a bed and Kylo in a bacta tank. The wound on his chest looked gruesome, but it seemed like Rey had healed his severed aorta, thus saving his life.  
There were several other hurt rebels in the med bay and rows of beds were filled with them, some had to stay on mattresses on the floor.

There was chattering and whispering as everyone talked about the events they just witnessed, sometimes there was screaming or grunting when wounds were stitched together and limbs set back. Leia was also there and received a bacta bandage for her shoulder. She just stood in front of the tank and watched her son flow in it.  
She couldn't keep her eyes away since she never knew how he looked like as an adult man.  
She just had the image of him in her mind, how she has seen him the last time, as a teenager of about 13 years.  
He had grown to be so beautiful, she thought. His long black hair flowing around his pale face as he wore a serene expression while breathing through an oxygen mask.  
But she also realised his whole body was a mess. There were scars nearly everywhere, from big ones to smaller ones. Sometimes they were round like something has stabbed through him, others were long gashes.  
She didn't know why he had so many, but she wanted to know about every one of them, when he is awake again. She couldn't believe he is there,  
but more so over she couldn't believe he just saved the whole base.  
She still didn't know what Rey exactly did, but she knew that she brought him back to life through the force. Leia didn't know this would be possible but as she had just witnessed it, it definitely was.

Finn and Chewie were also in the med bay, standing next to Rey watching her sleep. Finn was unhurt and still tried to process what just happened.  
He stroked Rey's arm and hoped that she will soon wake up again.  
Chewie walked over to Leia and put one of his big paws on her unhurt shoulder:  
 _"Little Ben still has some light left in him."_ he growled in his typical voice. Leia just nodded and put her hand on his paw.

As the day went by most rebel's were released from the med bay, as their wounds have been treated, there were about 10 left, including Finn who stayed at Rey's bedside, sitting on a chair next to her, waiting for her to wake up.

Rey slept through the remaining day, the night and until the evening of the next day. The base quickly recovered from the attack and all the bodies outside were brought into the nearby forest, where they were buried. General Organa ordered everyone to meet at the hangar, where she held a short speech, thanking everyone for their commitment to the resistance and promised them to give more information about what is happening the next days soon and also allowed them some days off to recover from the shock.

On the second day, Rey's eyes shot open and her body yanked upright in bed. Finn let out a small scream startled by her sudden movement, but then quickly hugged her with tears in his eyes, telling her that everything is okay. As she realized it was Finn and she laid in a bed, she quickly started to look around and asked with a trembling voice: "Where is Kylo?"

Finn sat back into his chair, but held her arm. He nodded over to the big bacta tank at the end of the room and said: "He's over there. You saved him."  
Rey's eyes widened in disbelief and she wobbly left her bed. Finn watched her and held her steady while she stumbled over to the tank.  
She looked at the flowing man with the oxygen mask and let tears stream down her face. Then a big, tearful smile crossed her face and she leaned forward and pressed her forehead against the glass, her flat palms touching the tank.

The other rebels who were awake and watched them stand there, whispering to each other. Their feelings were mixed as Kylo Ren was their arch enemy for years and now he stayed at their base and obviously had some kind of connection with Rey. But nobody dared to say a word.  
Finn excused himself to go and get General Leia as she has instructed him to tell her the moment Rey is awake again.  
Rey just nodded and stayed at the bacta tank, eyes not leaving from Kylo's floating body.  
She didn't know exactly what she did, she just remembered braiding this red cord together, then passing out.  
Maybe this string was the manifestation of their bond and she repaired it somehow, thus bringing him back to life.

Leia stormed together with Finn into the med bay and rushed over to Rey, embracing her so tight, it hurt. Tears started to gather in her eyes as she whispered to Rey:  
"Rey...Rey I don't know how I can thank you enough. You brought back my son, on so many levels. You brought him back home and you brought him back to life.  
I am forever in your debt."

Rey embraced her back and tears fell down her face. When Leia parted to look at her she asked: "Do you think you are strong enough to come to my office?  
We have a lot to talk about." Rey excused herself to Finn, then nodded and followed her.

When they reached Leia's office, both sat down and started smiling at each other, whilst sometimes dropping a tear or two.  
Leia was the first to speak: "So we hadn't had so much contact since you left to Ahch-To. I know you two travelled together to Luke, I know you fought in this arena for whatever reasons, but please tell me what happened in the last weeks."

So Rey told everything. From the crash of her ship, to Kylo finding and saving her, his own ship also being taken apart and repairing it together, to their kidnapping and the fight in the arena, even the part of him showing her why he killed his father. This was the also moment they had to stop for a short period of time, as Leia started to cry uncontrollably.  
When she calmed down again, Rey continued the story, telling her how they arrived at Luke's and how submissive Kylo behaved, apologizing for everything, how he planned on defeating Snoke with lightning force and how he managed to learn it and about the last day, before they flew to Q'Dar, when Snoke invaded his mind and how she was so sure when they arrived that Kylo planned everything beforehand and now betrayed her.  
She carefully let out the parts at the bar, where they were drunk, or all the other tense moments they had together.  
But in the end she thought, Leia will find out soon anyway, so she just told her about their somehow awkward relationship:

"Also, Leia. There is something more. Since he kidnapped and interrogated me back on the finalizer, we somehow forged a force bond. We don't know why, but that's how we could always feel each other. Our emotions and our physical pain are linked. We can talk through our minds with this bond. It seems like we can strengthen each other with this connection. And...uhm. Actually somewhere in the last weeks our relationship kind of...changed." she turned a little red now.  
"I think we are in love or something like that. I don't know. But we're not so close, just because of the bond."

Leia fell silent, still processing all the information she just received. Then she nodded and a big smile came across her face. "Rey, thank you for telling me all of this.  
It's a lot to process, we have to make plans on how to defeat the First Order and Snoke. Thank you again for bringing my son back. That force bond of you is extraordinary.  
Also, thank you for loving my son. I do too, but it was never enough to bring him back to the light. I think you did. He needed this to be saved. You are exactly the right person for him." then she paused a moment.  
"I'll go and have a speech to the other rebel's in the hangar, explaining all of the vital information you just told me.  
Of course, I won't tell any details, or parts of your emotional connection. But do you care to join me and tell it from your perspective? I know for sure they are all confused on a high level and want to know what happened and how the next days will look like."

Rey just nodded and they together left the office, gathering all the rebel's in the hangar. As Rey and Leia climbed on top of a fighter to stand in front of the crowd, some people started to clap until all joined in and a hurricane of applause filled the hall. Rey felt herself blushing and looked confused to Leia, who just patted her shoulder grinning.  
"They are thanking you for saving their life's." she whispered.

When the applause and cheers finally died down, Leia raised her voice to speak.  
She told the crowd about how Kylo Ren, or as she named him - Ben Solo, the former enemy of the resistance has defected from the First Order and saved them all with the ultimate price being paid as he died for them. She also explained them, that he is still alive as Rey saved him, as they all witnessed. Then she told them how they trained under Luke and that they are planning on defeating Snoke and that he might be the only one who is able to do this. There were lots of gasps and whispering after every new information and Leia had them to shush often. When she told them, that he will stay on the base under her protection there was a murmur of the crowd and wild chattering started.

Rey cleared her throat and now started talking too: "I know a most of you see him as your enemy. Some even had encountered him in battle or were directly affected by his deeds, but I also know you all have seen with your own eyes how far he went to save us all. I won't apologize him for everything he has done before, while he worked under the flag of the First Order, but I think it is proof enough, that he is on our side now and nobody has to be afraid of his presence here. I guarantee he won't hurt anybody from our side, his sole goal is to defeat Snoke and help us save the galaxy from his grasp. I don't know when he will wake, but if he does I expect you to treat him with respect. You don't have to be friends with him, or even talk to him, just treat him like somebody who saved our all lives two days ago."

With that Leia and Rey climbed down from the ship and were bombarded with questions, which they patiently answered. Some, they didn't answer, because it would reveal too many details, but they stayed for several hours and tried to explain as much as they were able to.  
In the evening Rey finally went back to the med bay, exhausted from talking so much. Kylo still flowed in the bacta tank and didn't move an inch. The medics told her, they would take him out tomorrow and that he might stay in a coma for some days. She listened to it and asked for all the details on his health status.

In the later evening, she sat outside together with Finn, Poe and Chewie and told them pretty much all the details she told Leia, which weren't told to the other rebels at their speech. Her friends asked a lot of questions, especially Finn who was so concerned for her.  
When Rey was done with telling the whole story but left out the relationship part, Poe took a sip from his drink and plainly asked: "So, you fucked or what?"

Rey who also just took a sip choked on it from his question and started to cough as her face turned in the deepest shade of red. Finn looked confused back and forth and just repeatedly yelled: "What? What? You didn't! You just have this stupid bond! Don't you? Poe is joking!"

Poe grinned at Rey's red face and smirkingly said: "Na look at her, she totally fell for him."  
Finns face now also grew red with an angry glance to her, waiting for her answer, as Chewie let out a loud growl.

When Rey caught herself again, she swallowed and answered, whilst her face was still red: "We...We did not. I can't believe you are asking this Poe!  
No, we didn't. But yes. Actually, you are right. I fell for him, he fell for me, we have some kind of relationship going on, or whatever this is called. I don't know. We didn't have much time while being kidnapped, tortured, trained and nearly killed to talk about this yet. I just hope he is okay and will wake up soon. I am sorry if I hurt you with this. I know he injured and tortured you all too. I feel like an asshole about this. But he is not the villain he seems to be. He has light in him and he is a nice, caring person if he's not torn apart by the dark side or his former master. I hope you can understand this somehow. Actually, I would be happy, if someday we can sit together with him like this and forget the past at some point. I hope you accept this."

Finn's face turned pale at her confession and he put his hand to his forehead. "So you are together or something? Do you love him? Does he love you back?"  
Rey pondered for a moment, then answered: "I love him. Yes. I wasn't so sure about his feelings towards me, before the attack on the base. But the moment he died in my arms, he apologized to me and confessed his love. So, yes I think it's coming from both sides."

Finn just nodded and seemed to accept her reasoning, then he just stated: "Please Rey. I love you, as a friend. If he ever hurts you, I will kill him with my own hands.  
But if you want this and you think it is good for you, I wish you all the best."

They kept talking until it turned dark. Rey went back to the medical bay and leaned against the bacta tank, sending messages through their bond, even if she didn't get any answers back. She went to sleep in her old quarters and was excited for the next day, as Kylo would be transferred from the tank to a bed, which is an improvement at least.

As she arrived at the medical bay, he already laid in a bed, his chest was bandaged and his eyes were closed. She instantly walked over to him kneeled beside him, one finger stroking his face until it slowly dived into his hair. She repeated this for an hour or so, not believing he lay there alive and breathing. Even when he wasn't awake.  
The doctor stood next to her and updated her on his status, it sounded pretty good and they expected him to wake soon.  
She stayed there for about 3 hours, just watching and stroking him until she was called to Leia's office to for something.

This pattern continued for about 3 days, as she was visiting Kylo every day for some hours. Sometimes there were other rebels standing at his bed watching him like he would jump up any second and choke them. But of course he didn't and Rey shushed them away.  
One evening when she was sitting at his bedside, she fell asleep. Her arms rested under her head as she leaned herself on the edge of the bed. Two fingers were entangled in his hand as she was sleeping soundly.  
She jolted her head up, the moment she could feel his hand closing on hers and her eyes wandered instantly to his, which were open and watched her. She jumped up in excitement and nearly fell on the bed as she hugged him, while tears streamed down her face. "You are back! Kylo! You are back."  
He pulled his arm up and put it on her back, he was still dizzy her weight on his chest hurt, but he bit through it as was just content with holding her in his arms.

"Yes I am. Because of your doing." he answered in a low voice. Then he pulled himself up into a seating position. Rey was surprised he could already do this,  
but well he never let himself be affected by pain. "Thank you, Rey. I owe you my life. I am sorry you felt betrayed. I had no other choice." he said with an intense glance.  
"I know. I know. I understand it. It is alright. Everybody saw what you did and why you did it. You saved everyone."

He nodded and shoved her away a little. Then put his feet on the floor, like feeling for them, if they would work, if he would stand up.  
Rey saw what he was trying to do and now was slightly concerned: "I don't know if you are already allowed to stand up. Maybe it's not a good idea."  
He just stood up at that. Of course. "Ok, you can walk. That's good." Rey said while following him bewildered. He walked to the place where his clothes laid and dressed himself, while letting out small grunts from the pain in his chest. "Kylo, whatever you are doing, I think you should go back to bed.  
You are not healed at all right now and this is outrageously stupid."

He turned to her, fully dressed and asked: "Yeah it is. Where is my lightsaber?" She lifted her top a little to reveal it dangling on her belt, next to her own saber.  
He outstretched his arm and let it fly into his hand, looking a little puzzled that his force still works. "Oh. Good." he just stated.  
Then he looked at her and said: "I am sorry. I have to leave now." then he turned around and stormed, or better limped out of the room.

Rey just stood there totally perplexed, not believing what she just heard and saw. Then she got angry. A lot. And followed him.  
He was already making his way through the hangar. Pilots who worked on their ships jumped out of his way in horror, running around screaming or hid behind cargo boxes.  
As she also reached the hangar, she was about 5 meters behind him she screamed all over the place: "Kylo Ren! You are a damn asshole! Are you out of your fucking mind?"

He just kept on walking, obviously still in pain and still really weak. He just answered: "I can't stay here." without turning back.  
This brought Rey on edge now and she stomped forward radiating anger all over the place. General Leia came running through a door and watched them,  
as she gasped by seeing her son awake again. Poe also stood together with Finn at the Millenium Falcon and gawked at them with an open mouth.

Kylo stubbornly kept on walking in the direction of his ship, until Rey reached him and yanked him around. He looked at her like he would be ripping her head off any second.  
The air was so tense, nobody in the hangar dared to move a muscle as they were waiting for what will happen next.  
He just stated angrily: "Snoke knows I am here and he will come for me. It's too dangerous for everyone if I stay here. I need to leave right now!"

There was a pause as they stared at each other for what seemed like minutes.

Then she slapped him in the face. Hard. In front of everyone.

Poe just mouthed to Finn: "Whoa no shit. They are totally in love."

"Are you fucking nuts? Do you think going out alone in your actual condition while Snoke wants you is a good idea? Think about it for a second!  
Here is a whole army of people, including me, who will fight on your side against him! Do you seriously think it is better to go out all alone right n.."  
she was interrupted as Kylo cupped her face in his hands and kissed her intensely for what felt like forever.  
She was baffled and wanted to push him away, but of course, she didn't, but fell into his arms, relieved to feel him alive beneath her and started to kiss him back, while embracing him slowly.

Poe just grinned and mumbled something about needing popcorn for this drama, as Finn was shaking his head in disbelief. 


	25. Chapter 25: Bright Spark

When they finally parted their heads from this intense much-needed kiss, their eyes met and she whispered to him: "I missed you."  
He nodded and answered: "I know. I heard everything you sent me via our bond, while I was in the bacta tank."  
"You did? I babbled so much nonsense back then. But I just kind of wanted to talk to you I guess." she answered.  
"No, you did not. I loved to hear your voice. I didn't think I would ever hear it again" he answered whilst brushing her hair back a little.

"Then stay! So you can hear my voice every day. If you go now, You might never hear it again." she said with a grim face.  
"So Snoke can kill everyone, including you here? That would be insane!" he nearly yelled.  
"You should learn to be more patient. Leia and I talked through this already. The base will be moved to another planet in several days, so the First Order doesn't know where we are. Also, you are going to show me how to render you unconscious, so when Snoke attempts to penetrate your mind I will at least help you keep him out like that.  
So I beg you - no wait I fucking order you to stay with me, with us and stop fighting on your own! You are not alone anymore and this should finally reach this stubborn, damn beautiful head of yours already! Stay with me!"

He looked at her for a long time, his face was unusually pale right now, contemplating everything she just said.  
Then he brushed a hand through his hair, closed his eyes and said:  
"I will regret this. No, everyone will regret this. But I'll stay for your sake. If I feel any danger coming to you, General Organa or this base, I will leave for an instant,  
as he just wants me right now. There will be no discussion then."

"We will see. But for now, I'll take what I get." she smiled at him and brushed her hand alongside his chest, as in flattening out his clothes.  
"You should probably go back to the med bay. You are not at all healed right now. Actually, you look pretty bad right now and I don't quite understand how you can stand like this, but I guess it's part of "gaining strength through pain dark side thing" from you, isn't it?" Rey asked.

"Yes, I use the dark side of the force to keep my body going right now." he answered now looking pretty stressed out while closing his eyes in concentration.

"You are unbelievable! Come on we'll get you back." she gritted out between her teeth. Just when she wanted to help him walk he stopped her and instantly sat himself on the ground. She couldn't believe, that he is now seriously staging a sit-in to not be dragged back, so she just yelled a: "What the actual f..." and interrupted herself when she saw him spitting some dark liquid on the floor between his propped up legs. She kneeled herself down with a hand on his knee and watched him. He was even paler than before and the liquid was blood, which now also dripped down his chin. He whipped it away with the sleeve of his outfit and let his head hung between his knees and whispered through rigged breaths: "Ripped my lung. Fuck.".

Rey instantly stood up and turned herself to the hangar, but let one hand stay on his head like she wanted to reassure him if he even needed it.  
"Oi folks! We need a medic over here. Right now!"

All the people in the hangar had watched the whole scene since the moment he stormed out and they argued. But nobody heard what they talked about exactly or why Kylo Ren is now sitting on the floor. Also, everyone was pretty shocked about their kiss, as nobody except for Finn, Leia and Poe knew about their relationship by now.  
And they felt betrayed by not being told before that former enemy was already this deeply rooted in ther ranks.

So there was quite some chattering about this situation, but luckily Leia already alerted a medic, who came running through the field with a bag,  
whilst cursing through his breath:  
"Is this man crazy? He shouldn't be able to walk at all" Is he trying to kill himself?"

When he reached them, Kylo already was unconscious as Rey held him stabilized in a seating position. The medic quickly checked his pulse and put on an oxygen mask and also gave him two injections. When Kylo was carried by a flying stretcher through the hall, while the medic and Rey walked beside him, Leia worriedly asked what had happened.  
Rey wanted to answer, but the medic was faster, he cursed: "General Organa, your son is utterly crazy! He just awoke from a coma, fled the med bay, used the force, thus ripping open half of his already weakened left lung again and then nearly choked on his own blood. But we got him, he just needs to stay in bed without moving again.  
Don't worry, he'll be alright if he doesn't pull another stunt like this!"

The medic then stormed back into the medical facility room with Kylo in tow as Rey stayed in the hangar and explained Leia why he went out in the first place.  
Leia was really emotional about Kylo proving again, that he wants everybody on the base to be safe, putting his life at risk the second time in the last few days.  
But she took his concerns very seriously and immediately ordered nearly every pilot to abandon their missions and to start a search for inhabitable planets, which they could use as a new base. They already searched before, but not with the full force of pilots.  
But now with Kylo Ren on edge about Snoke taking revenge on them anytime soon, Leia trusted her sons instincts and now put every resource they had left on finding a new base.

Even Rey was assigned together with Finn to search for a base, so she ran back to the med bay to see Kylo one last time before departure. He lay in a hospital bed with an oxygen mask on, his eyes were closed. Going over to his bedside and kneeling down beside it, she brushed some strands of hair out of his face and grinned a little at his still form. She loved looking at him like that, he seemed to be so content, then saw an IV needle on his arm and knew: Yep _, he's being drugged. That's good,  
so he won't wake up again anytime soon. _Then she scribbled down a short note telling him about her leaving for a day with Finn, in search of a new base.  
Just to annoy him, she also drew a small heart next to her name. Then she folded the paper and clipped it on his belt, as she knew when he wakes up,  
the first thing he'll do will be to search for his lightsaber.

When she was done she planted a kiss on his forehead and ran back to the Millenium Falcon to start her mission.  
Since Kylo died in her arms and then was kind of resurrected by her, her feelings towards him grew on an immense level. Even if he wasn't awake the last days.  
She just knew how it would destroy her to lose him and she was thankful for every day she saw him breathing, being alive and for now safe. She hoped so much for him to become well again and to have him fully back soon.

She boarded the Falcon with Finn and started her mission to an unknown planet. All the pilots have gotten coordinates of planets which supposedly were inhabitable,  
but also not already inhabited, preferably with an already built infrastructure on some parts. Which wasn't exactly an easy task.  
"So you left your maniac boyfriend at home?" Finn teased her when they had entered hyperspace.  
"He's not...! Ok he is. Kind of. Yeah, he had to be patched up some more. Luckily he is drugged right now and can't get away again." she sighed and leaned back into the pilot's chair.  
"What was this all about actually? Everyone just saw you arguing and then making out. Thank maker you already warned me about the second part.  
Everybody else was really shocked about it." Finn asked.  
"So what. I don't care about the opinion of the others about us. So, where do I start? I'll start at the med bay, he just woke up from the coma and instantly stood up." then she was interrupted by Finn: "What he stood up? No normal human would stand up after this!" "Yeah, he isn't exactly normal, you know. He just used the pain to fuel his dark side and walked through the force giving him the strength to do so.

"Like he did on Starkiller base when he punched into his wound?" Finn asked, thinking about how he was disgusted by this gesture back then.  
"Yeah pretty much like that. Back then, when we were on Ahch-To he told me, that he was totally done for when we three met in the forest. He said he couldn't actually stand or walk normally because of Chewbacca's blast into his side. But he used the the force to channel the pain into power, that's why he was still able to fight against us.  
On some account this is amazing, but more so over it's absolutely self-destructive. And, to come back to today: He wanted to leave the base." Rey stated.

"What? He wanted to go back to Snoke?" Finn asked angrily.  
"NO! No no. He wanted to go because Snoke will take his revenge on him and he thought if he stayed on the base any longer Snoke will come and destroy us all.  
That's why he wanted to leave. For us to be safe." she explained.

"Oh ok. Isn't he right about that?" Finn asked. "No! I have never seen him fight with his full force yet. Every time he was either hurt or totally drained or something like that. But even then, he was so unbelievably powerful. I can't imagine how strong he'd be on 100%. He is our most powerful ally against the First Order we could ever imagine right now. Except for that, I don't want to lose him again. It broke my heart to have him die in my arms." she explained and her eyes fell to the floor."

"That's an argument. I mean the power thing. Not your relationship thing. I don't like it, but it's your choice. So what happened after the talk. Why did he drop down like that?" Finn asked her.

"Through the excessive force use, when trying to flee, he ripped his not fully healed lung open and nearly choked on his blood." she answered.

"That dipshit is crazy! Ripping his lung open? Bet that hurt much!" Finn grinned a triumphantly. "Hey! He's not...yeah okay he is kinda crazy. You're right. But the doctor said he just needs a few more days without movement and then he'll be fine." Rey retorted.  
"I can't wait for him to linger around the resistance base!" Finn sarcastically said and rolled his eyes.

"Finn, I know he hurt you badly, but without excusing him, we were on different sides of the war. You would have done the same to him if you'd been able to back then.  
I know he has changed. Actually, his mindset has changed so long before we met him. He already was on our side even before you even escaped. But he had and still has to overcome so many more dangers and obstacles when he defected. Please give him some kind of chance at least." Rey pleaded with him.

"It's hard to believe that, as I knew him the whole years as the asshole he was. But of course, I saw him fight for us on the base and I believe you.  
When I was in the First Order, I have done things for which everybody in the resistance would hate me now. But they don't. So I'll try to accept him someday, ok?  
Please just take care of yourself!" Finn stated a little uneasy.

She hugged Finn in a reassuring way and said with a big grin: "I promise you, you'll be the first who's allowed to punch him, if he ever hurts me!"

They flew through hyperspace some more and talked about the upcoming planet and about Finn's new ability to manoeuvre ship's. She was so proud of him and listened while he explained to her all the things he already learned.

* * *

Back in the med bay Kylo woke up and felt disorientated. Then he realised he had an oxygen mask on his face, which he instantly ripped off, as it was annoying him.  
Of course, his hand wandered to his belt where he found his lightsaber to be missing - again. But there was something else stuck. A small folded paper.  
He picked it off and unfolded it in his hands. His vision was still a little bit blurred, so he had to squint his eyes to be able to read it.

"Searching for a new base with Finn. Will be back tomorrow. Don't leave without me. Rey *hand-drawn heart*"

First his face seemed to distort as he read the message from annoyance. Then he sneered while shaking his head in disbelief.  
 _Did this girl really draw a heart on this piece of paper?_  
This seems so crazy lovey-dovey-couple like. It's not like they are a couple. They just made out sometimes. Also, she saved his life and they share a force bond. And he couldn't stand to see her being hurt by anyone. And he would give his life for her. Again.  
 _Ok, maybe we are something like a couple._ He didn't know. _What are we actually? Two force users who fell for each other? Something like that._  
He already missed her.  
 _But this drawn heart is really childish,_ he thought as his thumb brushed over it. Then he put the piece of paper away, in the inside pocket of his shirt.

After lying around in bed for some more minutes he already was so fed up with it, he had a hard time not jumping up to trash the place.  
So he did something else. He stood up, took his saber, which luckily wasn't with Rey, but laid on a table next to the door. He was more careful this time, listening to his body and diagnosed himself with the force and felt the rupture in his lung wasn't completely healed, but manageable.  
So he started to walk out of the room into the hangar, as he needed some fresh air. There were other resistance fighters walking around and working on the ships.  
When they saw him, they looked shocked and stopped for a second, then they ducked their heads and kept on working, trying to ignore him.  
He didn't care, as he just wanted to go for a stroll for some air. When he went through the hall, there was the voice of this one pilot he interrogated on the finalizer back then.  
 _What was his name again? Pew? Paw? Poe? Yep, it was Poe!_ He pondered for a moment.

"Oi! Kylo!" he yelled. Kylo closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. _Don't get annoyed too fast._ He told himself again and again.  
Then he opened them and turned his head to the pilot. "Yes?" he answered shortly while breathing out, his eyes drilling holes into Poe's head.  
"Aren't you supposed to be in bed right now, or something?" Poe asked as he jumped down from a ship and now was walking over to him.

"Aren't you supposed to mind your own business?" _Ok, I fucked it up already._ Kylo thought.  
Poe looked him up and down, then laughed: "Still an asshole? I see. But seriously, what are you doing here? Don't you start dying around again!  
Don't want Rey to be worried sick when she comes back."

Kylo huffed. This guy is so annoying him right now, he felt his hand glide to his belt into the direction of his saber.  
But he stopped it there and just let his thumb brush against the hilt.  
"I needed some air. The hospital room is driving me nuts. I'll try not to die whilst being out, thanks so much for asking." he said in the most sarcastic voice he  
was able to press out.

Then he turned around and wanted to walk away as he thought the conversation was over. Just then there was Poe's voice again:  
"Wa...wait a second! You can use the force again, can you?"  
Kylo stood still and looked back to him. "Yes. Why?"

"You think you can help me with something from the ship over there?" he asked hopefully. "Why'd you need the force for that?" Kylo asked.  
Poe walked over to it and explained: "You see the ship broke off three of its four feet when the First Order attacked the base. That's why it stands so crooked.  
Also, I can't get it started because the opening of the engine is underneath. As we don't have any kind of device to..." Kylo interrupted him:  
"You need me to pull up the ship?"

"Whoa did you read my mind again? I don't like you doing th..." Kylo interrupted again, sneering: "No. It's obvious." He crossed his arms and walked over to the broken ship.

The other rebels looked at the two-man talking, not knowing what will happen next.  
They still feared Kylo Ren will fall back and betray them. They kept on working on their ship, but every now and then looked over to see what they are doing.  
But he just plopped himself down on a cargo crate and held his hand up, as the ship started to lift itself up from the ground. Poe just mouthed an "Oh ok." then walked over and let his hand touch the metal.

"Ok fine. I didn't think you'd help me for real. Just wanted to keep you from running off, as Rey forced me to watch you." Poe beamed at him.  
"I know. Persistent girl." Kylo lazily said as he watched the pilot start to work. Poe was now under the ship with several tools and started to unscrew parts of it underneath.  
"How'd you know that?" Poe asked surprised. "Force Bond." Kylo plainly answered.  
"The bond? How does it work exactly?" Poe asked while grunting as he was struggling to detach a metal part.  
"It's complex. We don't know it's full potential yet. We can talk to each other through it, also feel the other one's pain and apparently, she can revive me.  
There is certainly more, we'll need to explore it further." Kylo answered truthfully.

"Yeah, bet there's lot's of stuff you two need to explore!" Poe sneered.

"I guess, I feel the force leaving me. The ship might crash down any second." Kylo suddenly declared flatly.  
Poe shot out from under the vessel, panic in his eyes, he looked over to Kylo, who was still lazily sitting on the cargo crate, with one hand holding up the ship,  
the other one was resting as a fist in his cheek as he looked bored about this whole situation. "Are you kidding?" Poe yelled.

"Yeah." Kylo said as he brushed his fingers through his hair annoyed. "Just watch your mouth."  
"Yep. Still an asshole. I'll carry on now. If you deliberately crash this thing down on my head, you gotta deal with Rey and your mother afterwards. Think about it!"  
Poe threatened half-jokingly.

The pilot kept on repairing the ship until the evening, whilst Kylo held it up through the force. He sometimes had to change his arm, as the outstretched one started to fall asleep. For being literally dead some days ago, he already was pretty powerful again which pleased him as he hated it to be weak.  
Sometimes they bickered a little or Poe asked him some stuff about the First Order or the Force, to which Kylo even replied without nagging.

After some time, several pilots came over and watched him holding up the ship. They even asked him some questions about the force and what the heaviest thing was that he ever moved. He just shrugged them off, telling them he doesn't know, as he didn't think the weight determines if something is movable by the force or not.  
At some point, a droid even brought them some food.

When the ship was nearly repaired and the pilot was about to weld on the last broken off feet, the Millenium Falcon landed next to them and Rey and Finn hopped out of it.  
They walked over to Poe and Kylo. Poe was still under the ship with a welding device and safety glasses, as Kylo sat about 5 meters next to it, chewing on an apple,  
whilst holding the vessel up with the force.

Finn just looked totally perplexed at these two men working together, while Rey stood next to Kylo with a half astounded,  
half angry face, pressing arms on her hips she asked:  
"So that's your idea of "staying in bed to let my big fucking life-threatening chest wound heal" or what is this?"

"I am sitting. That's close to lying." Kylo plainly stated.

"You are unbelievable! But...after all, you didn't run off and nearly killed yourself! So at least you stuck to _that_ part of the deal." she sneered.

"How long you been doing this? When we left, the ship was a wreckage!" Finn stated to Poe. "Phew. I don't know, what'd you say Kylo? Four hours or something?" the pilot asked. "Five hours and about twenty minutes." the force user answered.  
"What the...? You held this thing up for five hours now?! What the...what?" Rey yelled. "What?" Kylo asked. "What? I thought you could only lift a ship up for some seconds.  
I didn't know this would be possible. You really really need to teach me!" she said with widened eyes looking excitedly forth between the ship and Kylo.

" _Come here._ " he sent her through the bond. " _Feel the force. Like you did last time_."  
She looked at him sceptically but held out her hand and put her palm on the back of his, like they did in the desert when he moved his ship.  
She instantly felt the force flow through it in warm waves.  
 _"Concentrate on it. The metallic parts of the ship. The air around it._ On us _, on you, on your hand, the ground, everything. Try to imagine how it feels against your energy when its flowing"_ he again messaged her.

Finn was watching them with interest, as he didn't know what they were doing exactly.  
Rey looked at her hand and tried to imagine everything as Kylo has told her. She could feel the force now flow through her hand too and tried to keep it like that.  
His hand felt warm under hers and she was fascinated by his raw power.

After some seconds he just moved his hand away and took a bite of his apple. Rey panicked as the ship sunk down slightly, but Kylo just whispered: "Don't get distracted. Concentrate!" she did and the ship kept on flying. Poe noticed the movement of the ship and peeked over to them. Just then he realised that Kylo wasn't levitating it anymore, but Rey did. And she looked really stressed like she couldn't hold it any longer. Poe just wanted to start yelling how dangerous this is, but Kylo just shook his head, motioning him to shut up.

When he was done eating the rest of his apple, he placed his hand under hers again and said: "You can relax now, I got it."  
She took her hand away and looked in awe at him. "Did I fucking levitate this thing? I did! The fuck! I did! Oh maker! I can't believe this!" she jumped a little at this and Finn and Poe started clapping proudly as they now understood that they just witnessed her using the force successful like this the first time in her life.

She crashed forward and swung her arms around his neck, planting an overjoyed kiss on his lips. When she parted just some centimetres, she whispered: "Mhhm you taste like apples. I love that! You're the best teacher!" "Duh! I just ate one bright spark!" he grinned at her slightly.  
She kissed him again still smiling at his joke, wanting to taste his lips again.

Poe interrupted them and yelled:" Yo guys! Less making out, more not trying to crush Poe to death with this levitating ship ok?"


	26. Chapter 26: Move

Finn and Rey told Kylo and Poe about the planet they visited. It was a swampy planet and at first they thought it was a good catch when they approached, until they opened the door of the Falcon, realising it had the worst stench they had ever perceived in their whole life. They had to close the door again, before it wasn't even opened fully and Finn had to puke. So they needed to fly back as it was impossible to inhabit the planet.

When the ship was repaired, Kylo let it down as Finn and Rey stood next to him watching it. Poe huffed and stated while stretching his arms: "I'm so done! I'm totally going to bed now. I would have never thought we'd get this baby up again. Well done asshole!" Poe wanted to punch a fist jokingly into Kylo's arm, but was stopped by his hand being force frozen. "Fuck off. No touching." Kylo stared menacingly at him.

"Aww love you too." the pilot teased him and walked off, waving them a goodbye.  
Rey giggled at their interaction and also teased him now: "I see you already making friends here? Sweet!"  
Kylo glared at her, but couldn't keep on being annoyed as her smile was already melting him away.

Just then came announcement through the speakers of the hall. It was Leia.  
"Dear resistance fighters! Our pilot's worked hard to find a new base and we finally managed to find one. We will depart tomorrow at 12:00 standard time.  
I'll give you a detailed briefing in the cantina tomorrow morning at 7:00. Sleep well, tomorrow is going to be exhausting."

Finn pumped a fist into the air. "Yes! Great news! Somebody did it!" And Rey was equally happy, Kylo just looked slightly relieved.  
Finn then dismissed himself and also wished them a good night, while trying to avoid eye contact with Kylo.

They both stood alone in the hangar now, as everyone has already left. She snuggled herself into his chest, as he laid an arm around her.  
"So you're coming with me? I hope you don't want to sleep the last night in the hospital room, don't you?" she asked when she looked up into his face.

"Hard decision. Beeping monitors, smell of blood, sickness and disinfectant, or sharing the bed with this sweet woman? I'd take option number two."  
She smiled and they both left the hangar.  
They fell asleep fast next to each other on this impossibly small bed, just made for one person actually. Their bodies were totally tangled up, as they finally were able to be this close again, after the attack of the First Order and after he died in her arms.

The next morning, the door to Rey's room was kicked open, by no one else than Poe Dameron, who yelled: "Reeeey wake up! You overslept!"  
Rey shot up, while simultaneously nearly falling out of the bed, but Kylo held her steady, pulling her back into the sheets.  
Just then Poe saw that Rey wasn't alone and he started to grin mischievously. "Poe what the...? How late is it?" she yelled.  
Kylo glared at the pilot, like he's going to force choke him any second now. "Don't worry, he's shitting you." he said while seating himself up,  
rubbing his hand in his face annoyed.

Poe started to laugh maniacally at the sight of a sleepy Kylo Ren and a totally disorientated Rey lying together in this small bed.  
"Man you sure need some more time alone! Didn't want to disrupt you at something."

As fast as he had opened the door, he closed it again. Out of respect for their privacy or out of fear of Kylo Ren choking him, wasn't clear.  
"Someday I'm going to force choke this guy." Kylo stated grudgingly to Rey. She giggled and stood up, and stretched her arms and legs. He was watching her, as his heart started to pound faster at this sight. She didn't do anything special right now, but it somehow felt special for him, to wake up next to her again, knowing they both are still alive.

She looked at the clock on the wall and turned over to Kylo. "This idiot. We still have an hour and half until the meeting. Pff."  
Then her eyes changed and he could see, she was just starting to plan something out in her mind.  
She crawled back into the bed, now with a whole other kind of movement as she had before. He instantly knew why she did this and he couldn't hide his smile.

"So..." she started and trailed off, as she climbed on top of him. "So...?" he asked with a raised eyebrow while grabbing her naked tights, as she was again just wearing her underpants and a shirt like she sometimes did on Ahch-To.  
"We kind of have some time left I guess?" she breathed in the most innocent voice she was able to manage, which didn't work at all.  
Kylo snorted and pushed her over, leaning himself onto her, as she laid down on her back. He kissed her neck and made a trail down to her chest,  
while his palms still rested on her thighs, fingers brushing on her skin as goosebumps started to appear from the touch.  
Her left hand was nestled in his hair and she let out little sighs of contentment, while his fingers wandered up to her shirt, which he slowly slid upwards now.

She got equally aroused as nervous from this action and opened her eyes to watch him. He felt her eyes on him and his head wandered up to crush his lips on hers, tongue searching for an entry, which she instantly granted.  
He knew she was nervous as fuck, as she hadn't done these things before, so he tried to tame himself as best as he could and be gentle whilst giving her confidence.  
Kylo pulled her up into a seating position, so they now sat face to face, he in a cross-legged position, she on top of his lap, while they kept kissing.  
Then his right hand slid up and he did the same thing, he did when they were on Kohara after their fight about her messaging the resistance.

He parted her lips slightly and crooked his head a little, then pulled up a thumb and let it brush her lower lip. She watched him, eyes glistening with pleasure and he pressed the tip of his thumb into her mouth to wet it. She even slipped her tongue against it, which made him shiver from surprise. He looked at her in a mischievous way as his hand instantly found its way under her shirt, where he now cupped her breast and tenderly circled her nipple with his saliva moistened thumb.

A surprised gasp escaped her lips, which transformed into a slow deep moan, as she watched the corners of his mouth slip up into a sweet smirk.  
She smirked too and tried to concentrate on caressing his sides, brushing her finger over every scar she could feel underneath his shirt.

Her head started spinning from the friction on her nipples and she knew she needed more. She abruptly grabbed his face with both hands closing her mouth on his and flicked her tongue in the slickest way, letting him know just how aroused she was right now. When she started to ground her hips into his groin, already feeling his erection pressing against her through the fabric, Kylo moaned into her mouth and stopped teasing her nipple, but fully grabbed her breast now and squeezed it, whilst kissing back hard.  
Something was unleashed inside Kylo as she was taking control and it seemed like they are fighting as who is seducing who right now.  
Everything got faster and more sloppy as they were stroking and kissing each other, their position changed every other second as they were fighting who'd be pinning down the other one.

When he finally pinned her down and just ripped her shirt up, his eyes widened and he stopped for a second as he stared at her breasts, mumbling an: "Oh maker.".  
She didn't think too much about anything of his actions before, as her blood has already left her brain and was somewhere entirely else, but when he halted a second after seeing her breasts the first time, everything felt strange instantly and her face reddened. She crossed her arms in front of them and looked at him with an insecure glance. "What? I know they're small."

When he realised what she was doing, he instantly grabbed both her wrists with one hand and shoved them slowly above her head, while kissing a way up from her chest to her face. The moment he was near her ear, he whispered: "I don't care about their size. I just had to look at them for a second, because they're so perfect. I imagined them to be pretty rad, but that would be an understatement."  
Her face reddened even more and she giggled: "Did Kylo Ren just call my breasts "pretty rad". Oh my, then keep on staring at them."

He pulled his mouth away from her neck with a loud smack and seated himself upright, one finger drawing a torturing slow line from her navel up to her the space between her breasts. He took some time to take in her body, the form of her breast and her still slightly reddened face.  
"You really like them, don't you?" she asked teasingly. "Yup. I think I fell in love. Again. Just have to decide which one to handle first." he paused for a moment as the line he drew with his finger wandered to her left breast, where it circled around her erect nipple. "I guess it will be this one, the other one already got some attention."

She loved to hear him talk about her body like that, throwing in some jokes, or complimenting her appearance. She felt nervous about sleeping with him, as it would be her first time, but everything he did and said was reassuring her so much and it even made fun to talk about it with him. Their connection was utterly amazing and she couldn't believe how tender this man in front of her could be as he was still brushing his finger along the skin of her breast.

When he finally dipped his head down to massage her nipple with his tongue, her body arched up and she pressed her knees against his sides, moaned a:  
"Oh fuck...fuck...fuck...oh my...what the...mmmhm..." in his black hair. Her hands clawed at his back as she felt her body tingle all over from his tongue motions.

After some seconds he came up again with some kind of wild glance in his eyes. Then he looked at her like he was suppressing a laugh. "What is it?" she asked a little confused. "If we keep on doing this, we'll really be too late for the briefing." he answered with a nod of his head to the clock on the wall.

She looked over and saw they barely had fifteen minutes left until it started. She started to panic a little and yelled: "What? Nooo, but we just started. Arrgh we can't stop now. This is torture!" He just stood up from the bed and held out his hand to hers motioning her to stand up.  
"Yes, we can. Duty before fucking."

She grudgingly took his hand and also stood up, cursing the meeting under her breath.  
Just when she stood on her two feet, her hand in his he instantly turned her around and crushed her upper body onto the bed and bend her arm behind her back. She let out a surprised yelp as he leaned down and whispered into her ear: "If we'll have the right time and the right place we'll fuck each other's brains out. Not here, not now.  
But soon. That's a promise." then he let his finger slide directly on the fabric of her insanely soaked panty alongside her slick folds. She made a strangled noise which evolved into a whimper as she tried to look at him, which wasn't possible as he kept pinning her down.

When he let her go and she was able to turn around, he showed her his two glistening fingers with a triumphant smile on his lips as he looked at them in awe, rubbing them against each other slightly, muttering an: "Oh wow." whilst doing so.  
She blushed at this but then grabbed his hand and took both fingers into her mouth, licking the fluids off them. He watched her totally perplexed until he let out a deep growl.  
"Fuck...Rey. You are not making this easy. Not at all."  
"Neither do you." she answered in the sweetest voice.

They both stepped a little away from each other as they knew they needed some space to not just start grinding on each other like some wild animals.  
"Ok clothes. Body. Cantina." Rey muttered as she was trying to find her clothes which were spread all over the floor.

When they were both fully dressed, they still looked a little bit messy, but they didn't care, as they rushed to the cantina, to not be too late. The other resistance fighters also arrived now, some were already seated.  
Finn and Poe sat on one table and motioned to them to come over, they did and plopped down on to each side, sitting as far away from the other as possible.

Finn looked at them suspiciously and asked Rey: "What happened. You look totally out of place" with eyes squeezed. Rey's face went red and she started to stutter.  
"I am...We. We had a fight. About...Food. Spinach. Yes, spinach! He hates spinach. Did you know that? I love it. But he doesn't like it. How can someone not like spinach?"

Finn looked utterly perplexed back and forth between the two, then turned to Kylo and said: "That's why you never ate at the cantina?"  
Kylo rolled his eyes and sneered: "Yes. That's exactly why I never ate at the cantina. Spinach is the most disgusting thing anyone has ever planted."  
Finn was now totally jumping onto the train: "Didn't they like serve it twice a month? I mean I like spinach, but it really tasted like shit when they cooked it."

Poe's head fell back from roaring laughter as he knew exactly that they didn't fight at all, but more so over did the exact opposite.  
Finn was now even more confused and Rey glared daggers into his eyes, while turning even redder.  
"What? Why are you laughing?" Finn asked with his hands up in a questioning way.  
Poe's face instantly grew serious, but he obviously had trouble, holding back his laughter.  
"Finn. Ok. I laugh because Kylo served me a bowl of spinach as torture when I was taken prisoner. That's one hundred percent true."

Finn looked over to Kylo in disbelief, who had slammed his palm on his forehead in annoyance.  
"You're all hoaxing me, aren't you?" Finn asked.  
Then Rey motioned for everybody to shut up because Leia has just set foot in the room and everybody went quiet.  
It was the first time anybody has seen her since two days, as she barricaded herself in her office to organize the search for a new base.

"Good morning my dear comrades! Thank you for standing up so early. Today is the big day, we'll relocate the base.  
The pilots who found the new planet are already there and are preparing the location for our arrival.  
The new base will be located on Ithor, which was once a beautiful planet blooming with tourism. But most parts were destroyed via terraforming about 40 years ago and the old civilization fled. We believed it still is destroyed, but as our pilots found out, most of the flora and fauna came back and several structures of the former inhabitants are still standing and functional with some work.

In every map Ithor is labelled as "inhabitable", its likely nobody would come up with the idea to search for us there.  
There is a palace-like building with an infrastructure of smaller housing around it, as well as an airfield surrounded by ancient woodlands and valleys.  
The climate is warm, but not hot. Pretty similar to the climate here.

It's the perfect place to hide, fortify and expand our forces in the fight against the First Order.  
After this meeting, you all go back to your quarters, pack your personal belongings and then are assigned to your ships.  
Then we'll load up our needed technology and medical equipment and will start ship after ship with our flight through hyperspace. We won't travel together, as we don't want to raise attention to a large group of ships. Everything else will be left behind, we have the needed structures on the other planet.  
You are dismissed." She waved her hand and grinned at the rebels who were cheering and jumping around, some already rushing to their quarters.

Rey also jumped up and squealed at Finn, Poe and Kylo: "That sounds so great! I can't wait to see this place. It has a palace! I never saw one. This must be so exciting!"  
"Girl I share your excitement, but it just sounds too perfect. Resistance doing something without some fucked up thing happening? I can hardly believe it.  
But by maker, let's take a look." Poe said as he patted his hand on her back.

Kylo looked at the pilot and nodded in agreement. "Yep. Thought the same. Some shit is going to happen. I can feel it."  
"You feel it? Like in a force vision?" Rey asked.

"No, unfortunately not. But I feel a danger coming up, though I don't know what it is.  
I guess we have no other choice, as staying here any longer is suicide." Kylo explained.

They all nodded and just wanted to separate when Leia approached and greeted them.  
She took a long look at Kylo and then smiled into his direction, with tears in her eyes.  
He didn't move a muscle and also didn't greet her.

She started to tremble a little and said: "Ben, I am so happy you are well again. Also, I need to thank you for joining the resistance. You'll be a great addition to our cause."  
Rey could feel Kylo's energy flare up angrily as he closed his eyes for a second, trying to calm down, then he put his palms together and responded:  
"I did not join the resistance, nor am I particularly interested in your cause. My loyalty lies in the destruction of Snoke as well as the First Order and keeping Rey alive at all costs. Nothing else. Don't read too much into it."

There was some kind of disappointment in her eyes, but she smiled at it and just answered: "As you wish. Thank you for saving us all."  
Then she turned and went away, but stopped after a few meters and asked: "When the First Order attacked and you yanked my head up, it felt so warm.  
Did you let the force flow through me?"  
Kylo looked slightly surprised this question, but answered: "Yes."  
She turned her head around again and asked again: "Why?"  
He looked at the floor and stood up, motioning to walk away he mumbled: "I checked how much time you had until you would have bled to death without treatment.  
You had about five minutes left. I pushed some energy in you to prolong it." then he left the cantina without talking to her anymore.


	27. Chapter 27: Worm blood

They all felt this meeting between Kylo and his mother to be pretty odd and intense, but they didn't dare to ask Leia about it, so they just did as they were ordered. Packing up their stuff and helping to carry parts out of the control and the hospital room to the ship.

Kylo was in the hangar and helped others to put the bigger crates through the force into the ships. This instantly became a hit and everyone wanted him to help them, so he was pretty busy until the departure. Rey was also busy as she was carrying everything in her arms like a normal human.  
When it was 11:30, so half an hour before departure, she went over to him and asked if he would board the falcon with her.  
He negated and told her that it would feel really really wrong for him to go aboard the Falcon right now and that he would take his TIE fighter instead.  
She understood but told him, that she has to fly the Falcon as Chewie needed a copilot. He nodded and they gave each other a short kiss, before everyone boarded the ships and left behind their old base.

It was a flight through hyperspace which took about two hours.  
The Millenium Falcon was filled with people, even two families with children and also Leia, as there weren't enough ships for everyone to have an own.  
Rey was slightly stressed out by the number of people on board, but at least it was just a short time. Kylo flew alone as nobody dared to go with him.

They came through it without problems and they finally saw the green surface of the planet. When Rey lowered the Falcon, she could already make out the broad outlines of a palace like building and she grinned widely in anticipation.  
Just then she saw Kylo's ship hitting the atmosphere on the radar and she was a little relieved he decided to not fly off through hyperspace.

When she landed the Falcon and opened the doors, the TIE fighter landed a minute after her about 100 metres away. There were already people running around the palace carrying stuff around.  
The people from her ship just started to exit it and when one of the families stepped out, the little girl which was with them ran out happily and instantly inspected the small houses on the big grass field.

Kylo was already out of his fighter and watched the little girl, looking kind of stressed.  
For some reason, Rey's neck hair started to stand up right now, but she didn't know why.  
She looked over at Kylo who muttered a " _Fuck_ " through their bond.

She too instantly felt something was wrong and asked: " _What is it? Something is happening?!"_  
 _"I don't know. I feel_ something." he answered shortly.

Then the whole ground started to shake, several people fell down and there was screaming all around.  
 _"FUCK FUCK FUCK!"_ Kylo now screamed into their bond. " _Go back into the ship! NOW! Tell everybody to shut the fuck up!"_

Rey turned to the people who just left the Millenium Falcon and screamed to them to come back inside. Then sending through their comlink for everybody to shut up and don't move. Another tremor shook the earth. She heard more screaming but shushed everyone to be quiet.  
 _"What is it Kylo? What's happening?_

" _There is some kind of life form under us. Something huge. I don't know. Fuck. It's really huge. It reacts to movement and noises."_ he answered with a raised voice through the bond.

The little girl stood over at the house and clawed onto the wall, sitting down and now started to panicky scream and cry.  
Just exactly what they don't need right now. Kylo made his way over to her as there was another shaking, which made the girl scream even more.  
When he was about 20 meters away from her, he outreached his arm into her direction froze her in place, thus she wasn't able to scream anymore.  
He hated doing this, as he knew she was fearing for her life and now she couldn't even move or scream anymore.

So he took the last 20 meters until he reached her and held a hand over her mouth, while also releasing her from the force freeze.  
He whispered something into her ear and she nodded.  
Rey and the others were watching them from the Falcon, her parents were already going crazy about her being out alone with Kylo Ren,  
whilst earthquakes are shattering the ground.

 _"I'll try to bring her to you, Rey. Just keep everyone really quit."_ Kylo sent her.  
He took the girl on his arm, as she still was crying, but now at least quietly.

As he walked really cautiously over to the Falcon, the ground shook again, this time so much it even tore open, leaving big cracks in the grass.  
Kylo stood still and just muttered a " _Shit. Fuck._ " through the bond to Rey as he instantly ignited his saber, with the girl still on his arm.  
Then he swirled around as in the same moment an unbelievably big worm shot out of the ground behind him, mouth so big,  
it could swallow a whole ship.

Kylo was instantly pressed back from the flying stones around the beast and was thrown about 4 meters away from it, landing on his back, the child firmly pressed to his chest as he protected her with his own body. She started to cry again, this time loudly which of course triggered the worm into their direction. He then put a hand on the girls face and rendered her unconscious.

Rey and everyone else on the ship gasped at this and now everyone panicked. She had trouble keeping everybody quiet as this monster was gigantic.  
 _"I'm coming!"_ she sent him through the force. " _Ok. Get the girl."_ he answered slightly stressed.  
Kylo was now just trying to avoid the blows from the creature as he had little to no possibility to fight with the child on his arm, but the worm was enormous, so it sometimes crashed his yaws directly into the ground next to them, where Kylo was able to jump away in the last second but was still hit by flying around rocks.  
Rey was running over to them, saber in her hand. As the worm saw her movement it turned to her and instantly rammed it's head into the ground to dig a tunnel under them to reach Rey. Kylo saw this and now staked everything on one card.

He levitated the girl about 50 metres into the air and screamed to Rey: "Use the force! Get her to the ground safely!"  
Rey was shocked as she was just able to let a ship fly for about 3 seconds and now she should force levitate a living child?  
She instantly pulled her arm up and tried to concentrate as much as she was able to, as Kylo ignited his saber again and slid down on the ground, into the tunnel the monster just build. The ground was shaking the whole time, which didn't make it easier for Rey. The child just kept falling and Rey was panicking as she thought she will just smash down on the ground and die.

Just then Rey fell down on her knees and tried with all her might to slow the girls fall down. In the end she really stopped on the last two meters and in the end she fell safely in her arms.  
While Rey had the girl, they heard an ear-piercing scream from the tunnel and the ground shook again. Then everything went quiet.

Nobody dared to move or to utter a word as they didn't know what happened.  
Rey just stood up with the girl pressed against her and stared at the hole in the ground. After some seconds Kylo jumped up and was covered in blood from head to toe like he had bathed in it.

Her mouth fell open and she instantly wanted to scream, but he already answered through their bond: " _It's not my blood. Everything's alright."  
_ She closed her mouth again, relief washing over her in waves she fell to her knees. "Is it dead?" she blurted over to him. He just nodded as blood dripped down his chin. She yelled over to the others: "It's dead, you can come out again."  
Everybody stepped out of the ship and the palace, looking around scared and the parents of the girl ran to Rey as she was still holding the child in her arms, she still was unconscious and had a big gash on her temple.

Kylo went over to them and shed some of his absolutely blood-soaked clothing as everybody was watching him in horror.  
When he reached the parents with their kid, he kneeled down beside them and said:  
"I am sorry, she was hit by a stone, I couldn't deflect it fast enough."  
The parents started to cry as they thought she would die anytime soon.  
Kylo flicked off his wet gloves and reached a hand to her temple, letting his force flow through her, he closed his eyes in deep concentration.

"Her skull is cracked on this side. She needs to go to the med bay in an instant." he explained.  
Rey groaned: "Shit. The medics haven't arrived yet! They still need about an hour."

Kylo opened his eyes and looked at her confused. "Seriously? Fuck. That is too long."  
He pulled his hand away and hesitated. The parents were now weeping in total desperation rocking their child back and forth.  
Then he stood up and looked over to Rey.  
"Rey. I can't heal her. It's a light-side force technique which I am not able to use at all.  
I know you are also not trained with this, but at least you are on the light side. I'll show you how, and you will perform it.  
It's the only straw we could grab to save her right now."

Rey jumped up and nodded her head frantically. "Of course! We'll try everything!"  
Kylo turned to the weeping parents who pleaded for them to help at any costs. "Would you stay away, please? We need some space and silence."  
The parents looked between their child and Kylo Ren back and forth but finally nodded and went away with the others. Everyone was making a big circle around them, waiting for them to begin.

Kylo motioned Rey to sit next to the girl, as he also did on the other side.  
"Give me your hand and place your other one on her temple without touching it. I'll guide you through the rest."  
They held her hands locked above the child and Rey placed her other hand next to the girl's head.

Then he activated their bond and explained in a really detailed way what she was supposed to do and to feel and how to channel the force.  
It felt a little bit like when she was reviving him, so she concentrated and tried to follow his voice, which steadily guided her through the process.  
As they both had their eyes closed, being in deep concentration, they didn't see what was happening around them.  
Rey's hand started to glow with a bluish colour as small stones levitated around them both.  
They stayed in this position absolutely silent for about ten minutes until Kylo opened his eyes and ordered her to do so too.  
The girl was conscious again and blinked at them, looking confused.  
When she saw Kylo, she propped herself up and instantly threw her arms around him, as he was the one who saved her from this big monster.

He was a little bit startled and Rey had to hold her hand in front of her face, to not cry at this beautiful and in some way disturbing sight.  
Kylo Ren being hugged by a child, while still being covered in blood all over, which he now smeared on her hair, as he patted her head in some insecure manner. After some time she turned around and walked back to her parents, who enclosed her in a loving embrace.

Kylo now beamed at Rey and whispered: "You did so incredibly good! You can't believe how proud I am right now!" then he tucked her over and placed a kiss on her forehead, also smearing blood everywhere.  
She just grinned back at him and tried to wipe some blood off his face in an unsuccessful attempt.

"No, you did perfect - as always. Be proud of yourself for once. But thank you. You got a little bit of giant worm blood on your face." she giggled sarcastically, while still smearing around on his cheeks. "Let's wash it off ok?"

He nodded and they started to walk to the palace, while he picked up his soaked clothes on the way. Some started cheering and clapping when they walked between them, other's just thanked them in awe.  
This felt so awkward for them, they hurried inside the building and searched for some kind of bathroom, to wash off all the blood, which they found on the top level.

It was a really big luxurious room with..."Oh maker is this a bathtub?" Rey burst out as they entered.  
"Yep it seems. Never seen one?" Kylo asked with a raised eyebrow.  
"Nooo. I mean on pictures yes, but not in reality until now." she answered as she walked over.  
"It probably won't w..." he was interrupted as Rey turned it on and a thick stream of water flew out of the faucet.  
"Ok it does." Kylo stated with his arms crossed.  
Where he stood was already a puddle of blood on the floor underneath his feet as it dripped down from his clothing.

"Oh my, a real bathtub! I can't believe this!" Rey hummed as she ran over to the door and locked it from the inside. "This is the best day ever!"  
Then she turned around and looked at his bloodsoaked form.  
"You know what that means right now?" she asked while grinning wildly.

Keylo looked at her and monotony answered: "We get undressed, wash ourselves up and have really hot bathtub sex?"

Her face turned red in some kind of unnatural way and she responded: "Ok, that's not what I originally wanted to say, my version was about cleaning us up and washing our clothes. But I think I like your version much better, so I'll go with it."

She pushed herself away from the door and slowly proceeded to walk over to him, as she grabbed his collar and pulled him into a really long, passionate kiss, whilst starting to peel off his clothes. 


	28. Chapter 28: Contest

As they stood in front of the door, totally engulfed in each other, Rey slowly buttoned up his shirt and pulled it off him, throwing it on the floor with a splashing noise,  
as it was totally soaked. They both looked at it and saw all the blood-splatters around it. "Wow. That's disgusting." she giggled as she now splayed her hand against his chest, brushing her fingers over all these scars he had. "Just some drops of blood." he stated in a totally serious voice as he glanced over to his clothes.

When she reached the scar he got from one of the Knights of Ren who killed him, her hand hovered a moment over it, then he watched her silently, as she bowed down to gently kiss this big mark next to his heart. He locked his hand behind her head into her hair and closed his eyes, savouring the feel of these wet, warm lips on his chest.

In the background, the water faucet was still running and the whole room started to get pretty warm from the steam.  
Rey worked her way down from his chest to his abdomen, leaving a trail of kisses and making smacking noises whilst doing so.  
In the end, she kneeled on the floor in front of him, reaching his waistband with her mouth, gliding her fingers alongside the line of the fabric.  
When she started to pull it down for some centimetres and even started to lick the skin on his abdomen, he let out a deep shaky growl and closed his eyes in pleasure as his fingers slightly ripped at her hair.

She instantly decided she loved that sound and needed to hear more of it. She could already feel the bulk in his pants, which she now gently touched with her fingertips,  
whilst still planting kisses and sucking his skin just above the waistline, which made him moan even more. Then she got more courageous and she pressed her flat hand against his groin and rubbed up and down first slowly, then faster against the fabric while she watched his face. His hair was clinging to his cheeks and was a complete mess from the blood and the steamy air in the room and his mouth was slightly opened as his eyes were closed and he was obviously enjoying what she was doing to him.

After some time he opened his eyes again and teased: "Since the first time I saw you I yearned for the day, you'd finally kneel in front of me."  
She snorted at that and bit into his skin, leaving teeth marks on his abdomen. "You're an ass." she mumbled jokingly.

She then leaned back and sat on her bottom, her hands wandered down to his boots, which he willingly stretched out to her one by one, as she opened the side-straps and pulled them off, throwing them somewhere across the room. She giggled at this scene, as it somehow must look like when a mother is pulling off the boots from a child who couldn't do it himself.  
When she got up again and wanted to continue undressing him, he stopped her and whispered: "Don't you think its pretty unfair, how many clothes you still wear,  
compared to me?"  
She grinned mischievously when he suddenly heaved her up onto his hip and pressed her back against the wall behind, kissing her furiously while he pressed his whole body against hers. The body heat between them was intense and she could feel every muscle in his chest and his legs.  
She wrapped her legs around his hips, as he already started his way down her neck while making small grunting noises.

Rey just moaned into his hair and ground her hip against his in need, feeling his bulk pressing against her, which made her super moist in seconds. She wanted him so much right now. She hoped he would rip off his pants and just do her on this wall right there.  
Then he pulled his head away from her and unceremonially ripped her shirt over her chest and crashed down on her breast, devouring her nipples hungrily.  
Her head fell back against the wall as he was working his magic with his tongue, loud smacking noises escaping his lips while doing so.

She was so aroused right now, she thought if he kept doing that for some more minutes she'd orgasm just like that - no sex needed.  
Just then she opened her eyes and looked at him and her heart started to pound so fast in her chest in nearly hurt.  
He pulled his head back and just grinned at her in the sweetest way possible, but then his face changed to a frown and he breathed:  
"Rey. You are the best thing that could have happened to me. Thank you. For saving me - on multiple levels. I'm forever yours."

She looked at him slightly shocked at these words.  
Then her face filled with joy and she wondered: "Is this some Kylo Ren-ish kind of love confession thing?"  
"Do you want it to be one?" he asked.  
"No. No. We are not doing this again as you did last time. I asked you a question, you have to answer this."  
she beamed at him as she remembered pretty much the same conversation they had when they went to this one bar, where they first kissed and nearly had sex.

 _Then, I let it be one._ He told her through their bond.

Her smile just widened at this and her eyes started glistening by his words. She cupped his face with both her hands, leaned forward and brushed a  
" _I_ _love you too."_ against his mind as she kissed him long, whilst he still pressed her back against the wall.  
She felt the corners of his mouth move upwards as he heard this and she felt like the happiest person in the galaxy right now as her belly was tingling from all these emotions and of course because of his hard member pressing against her moist pants begging for entry.  
This man is the one who she'd give all of her body for the first time in her life. And she didn't want to have it any other way as her trust in him was so deeply rooted,  
nobody else could ever reach this level they had. Kylo's hazel brown eyes darted at her between his wet strands of hair as he probably heard her thoughts right now and he smiled slightly as he pressed his forehead against hers, their sign of trust.  
Then they heard loud splashing and she looked startled over his shoulder and mouthed an: "Ops shit!" He let her down and also turned around, seeing the bathtub already overflowing with water.

He instantly walked over and turned the faucet off, then pulled the plug, so it would rinse out again.  
Then he kneeled in front of it and checked the temperature with his finger, drawing circles on the water surface. She walked over and hugged him from behind while laying her head on his shoulder. He took her hand in his and pressed the palm against his lips.

Then he stood up and looked up and down her body and started to laugh full heartedly.  
"Oh my. I smeared blood all over you. You look like I tried to kill you."  
"Pfff. Did you look into a mirror? You look so much worse!" she snorted with laughter.  
"Bathtub?" he nodded over to it. "Bathub!" she nodded to him.

Then he kneeled down in front of her and removed her pants in a torturing slow manner while kissing her belly and her thighs. She was a little nervous as he would see _that area_ of her the first time, but also fully trusted him and just smiled a little unsure as she now stood completely naked in front of him. When he came up again, he slowly brushed two fingers from her shin, over to her thighs, then pressed his thumbs into the folds of her hipbones and afterwards sprained his flat hands against her lower abdomen, wandered up to her chest and onto her neck. He was totally exploring her body right now and his hands glided their way really smoothly as she had a thin layer of condensed water drops all over her skin from the steamy air around them.

While he did that his eyes followed his own hand in utter amazement and took in every inch of her body, seeing these little goosebumps appear on her skin from his touch and how her muscles tightened slightly when he reached the next area. When he was at her neck again, he supported her on one arm, as she stepped out from her pants and afterwards, he undressed himself. Rey took a short glance at his groin and felt heat flow in hot waves right into the lower parts of her body as she instantly felt more moisture dripping inside her. He somehow realized this and dipped his thumb down to her thighs, dangerously close to her vagina. Kylo brushed his thumb against her skin and smeared some of the fluid that leaked out of her against her clit which made her moan and her cheeks brighten up.  
"Maker! Rey. You are dripping. Is this all for me?" he whispered with shaky breaths while he dipped two fingers slowly inside her as the other hand gripped the back of her head to make her look into his eyes.

She arched against his hand and couldn't wait for him to bury his fingers deeper inside her while she moaned: "Yes. Yes. This feels so good." He smiled at that and started to slowly drag his unbelievably wet fingers in and out of her, while simultaneously circling her clit with his thumb.  
Her body was shivering with lust and she just pressed her face against his chest while her breathing hitched against his skin and she pressed her lower body against his hand in the same rhythm as he was pushing his fingers into her. He felt she was so close to her release now, which let his cock twitch in anticipation, but he collected himself as he planned to stretch this moment as long as it was possible as he wanted to see her face when she is completely losing it. So he retreated his fingers and put his flat hand on her vagina dragging his palm in the slowest manner against it, up to her belly, which was now wet from her own fluids.  
She let out a strangled moan from him stopping and the feeling of his palm pressing against her and opened her eyes to watch him drowsily.  
Rey then fell forward into an embrace as she desperately needed to feel closer to his naked body.

They stood there in a long embrace, stroking each other everywhere. There was a lot of pleasure involved in this embrace,  
but more so over it was about their bodies against each other, feeling their heartbeat and being as close as possible.  
They could even feel their force bond being in total sync and they felt so at ease as they have never done their entire life.

After they calmed down slightly, he stepped first in the bathtub and seated himself there, then dipped his head under water, to wash off the remaining blood from his hair and face. Before he had entered, he turned his back to her and Rey snatched a view of his bottom. Her face turned hot and she exclaimed while also climbing into the tub:  
"Oh boy. That's the nicest ass in the whole galaxy!"

As she kneeled in the bathtub in front of him, he instantly pulled her forward and laid her on his chest, placing his legs next to her body.  
She felt his erection pressing against her lower abdomen, which sends her jolts through her own lower regions as she was so damn ready to have him inside her any second now, then he grabbed her butt over her back, pushing him more into him and stated as he looked down on her body: "No your ass just won the contest!"

She giggled and kissed him, while she laid on his chest. Meanwhile, he messaged her bum-cheeks in the most gentle way which made her body shiver with more want.  
The moment he suddenly slid his fingers on her outer lips made her whimper his name into his mouth.  
He could feel her slick entry being still just SO moist to his touch. He liked to spread her wetness all over her vagina and on her bottom as he rubbed his fingers a little faster than before which made her moan so much, she had to stop kissing him as she was already out of breath. "If you keep on...mhmm...doing this..." she panted between moans and was interrupted by him. "Haha no. You think you are allowed to come already? Of course not!" he answered boldly as he kept on stroking her.  
She knew he was toying with her, keeping her orgasm at bay to stretch the experience out and she loved it. Even if it was frustrating at first, she knew she will explode if he finally let her. She just kept on moaning and a second before she couldn't hold it anymore his fingers stopped.  
Her whole body shivered with pleasure and she was so on the edge to orgasm, that she couldn't believe he stopped again right now.

Ok if he can tease her, she can do this too. So she set herself up on his lap and started to slowly slide back and forth on his erect member.  
It felt so good to ride it, as she nearly had the feeling he already was inside of her.  
It made her nearly cum, but she tried to control herself, as she had the goal to tease him and not herself.  
He watched her a little shocked but soon there was a big grin forming on his face and he took her face into his hand and pulled her down into another kiss.  
Then he mumbled to her: "Fuck Rey. You are just so insanely wet! I want you."

Her sliding grew slower with every move, which drove him totally crazy as he grabbed her bottom desperately, kneading her thighs in the process.  
Then when she slid backwards one last time, she intentionally just slid fully onto his super hard member, burying it inch for inch completely inside her until there was no more room left between them.  
He just growled a really long: "Fuuuuuuuck." as his cock wildly twitched in her and opened his dazed eyes a little worried: "Whoah Rey. Fuck. Easy! Does it hurt?"

Her eyes were closed and she looked concentrated. Then her lips curved up slightly and she started to move a little, then more, riding him in a torturing slow manner.  
Finally, she opened her eyes and had the naughtiest look on her face while she rolled her hips on him and panted: "No. It didn't. I just feel _so_ filled up right now. I might explode any second."

He snorted and propped himself up to now sit chest to chest with her. Then he started to tease both her nipples with his thumbs, while his lips wandered all over her neck, sucking on her skin as she rode him faster now. She felt so slick and oh maker, so tight around him he had to control himself not to instantly release into her as he had never done before. Oh and her face. He couldn't get enough of that either. She looked like some goddamn angel right now. If he'd die now, he'd be the happiest man in the universe.

Their rhythm got even faster now and the breathing erratic, as he pulled one hand away from her nipple and brought it down to her clit, where he rubbed his thumb against her most sensitive spot. Nearly a second after he touched it, Kylo felt her contracting around him as a deep animalistic moan left her lips, which evolved into a long muffled scream of swear words and several jolts were sent through her muscles as she ground even deeper onto his cock losing complete control of her movements. Watching her let go like this and feeling her walls practically suck him in, he couldn't hold back anymore and let the waves of his own orgasm wash over him as he bit into her neck and released inside her, also grunting out a string of swear words, mixed up with her name.

She fell limp into his arm and they both relaxed into each other as they tried to find their breath, while he leaned back to the edge of the bathtub and pulled her forward onto his chest. He grabbed her bottom, as he wanted to lift her up a little to pull out, but she squished it down immediately and told him, she doesn't want it out yet, as it still felt too good.  
She breathed against his neck a little bit exhausted from her experience, then she admitted: "Kylo. Thank you. I can't imagine my first time being any better than this.  
This topped all my expectations by far. Thanks for being so gentle, it was just perfect. I feel like I am fucking drunk right now."

"No, thank you for trusting me with this. It was a pleasure. Literally. And yes adrenalin tends to do that." he answered, as he brushed his hand through her hair while her head laid on his chest.

They stayed like this for some minutes, caressing each other, until someone got aroused again, so they just did it again. And again after that. Trying out different positions, from behind on the sink, on the floor as she sat on him, on the wall as he pressed her against it and again in the bathtub before the water got too cold.  
They did it so long until they were both completely exhausted and out of orgasms. As promised before, they just fucked their brains out. Letting out all their sexual tension which was building up between them since he saved her from the desert planet at once.

When they were finally done and started to take in their surroundings again, they took a look at the bathroom.  
There still were his blood-soaked clothing and shoes carelessly thrown on the floor, large blood splashes around it. On the wall was a thick red line of blood about 2 metres long, as it was where he had lifted her up first and pressed her against it. It looked like a damn massacre.  
All around the bathtub were big puddles of water and some things which stood on the counter at the sink before were broken, as they fell down during sex,  
when he had propped her up and took her from behind.  
"We totally wrecked this place." he stated a little shocked. He hadn't realized it at all while they were doing it pretty much everywhere.  
She looked around too with widened eyes and said: "Fuck. We did this? Seriously. What do we do? People will think somebody was killed in here!"

He looked at her and laughed slightly. "We could just destroy it completely with our sabers and tell anyone who's asking, that we fought. About spinach.  
As it worked so well last time."  
She rolled her eyes and snorted. "Sure. Everybody will believe this. Also, your clothes are not in any state to be worn again."  
He looked over at the piles of clothes on the floor and realized she was right. "So we run out naked I guess. After we trashed this room." he said mockingly.

"No, I have a better idea. I call BB-8 through the comlink, he'll bring us new clothes and something to clean all this stuff. Then we exit this room and hope, that nobody dares to ask us anything." she explained totally confident in her plan.  
"I can live with that. How long do you think he'll take to come here?" Kylo asked as he started to pick up some of the things which fell off the counter before.  
"I don't know, maybe about fifteen minutes." She walked over to him and stopped him from tidying up the room as she grabbed his wrist.  
"So what should we do with these fifteen minutes?" she asked teasingly.

Just then Kylo knew he had created a monster. A sex-driven one at that.

He snorted and pushed her over the counter again, knocking down the stuff he had just picked up, making really good use of the fifteen minutes BB-8 took to get to them.

When they had their new clothing as BB-8 had fortunately brought the right things and they were done cleaning the bathroom as good as they were able to, they took a deep breath and left the room. At least nobody was on their level of the building, so they just decided to go back to their ships to pick up some of their stuff.  
Luckily there were not so many other people out, as it was already dark and everyone was busy with themselves.

Just when they thought they got through and nobody knew where they were gone, Poe came out of one of the houses with a big box in his arms, which he carried outside and dropped next to the exterior wall. When he looked up and saw the two force users on the way to their ships, he instantly rushed over to them and yelled their names:  
"Rey! Kylo! Oi there, you two!"  
They stopped and turned around, as Rey muttered: "Oh no shit." under her breath.

Poe just stomped over and scolded them: "What the hell? You were gone for six fucking hours! You just disappeared! Oh wait - I see. You argued about spinach again I guess.  
This must be a big topic between you two!" his glance was jumping between these two, as Kylo's eyes just rolled in annoyance, while he crossed his arms and Rey seemed to have this really disgruntled face and looked at the pilot, like she would rip his head off any second.  
After he teased them more about their spinach story and scolded them for disappearing after this huge incident, Rey just threw her arms in the air from frustration and exclaimed: "Whoah ok! Poe, you know what? _We fucked_! It was awesome! Then we fucked again and several times after that! There you go! I hope you can live happily ever after now!"

Kylo just snorted with laughter as he saw the pilot's shocked face from Rey's words. Then Poe's face changed after several seconds to a loud laughter and he had to hold his abdomen from laughing so hard as he raised his hand to a high five into Kylo's direction grunting out a "Damn you two! At least you earned it!".  
Kylo shook his had and just stated a: "No." not wanting to high five him.  
But Rey joined his laughing and pressed out between giggles: "I'll give you a high five! We totally earned it!" as she clapped their hands together.  
Now it was Kylo who threw his hands up in frustration.


	29. Chapter 29: Map

As the pilot regained his breath from laughing his ass off from the conversation that just has taken place, he asked: "Did you find a place to stay already?  
I know you were _totally occupied_ the last hours, but I think everybody found their rooms and houses already."  
"Oh no we didn't! Where are we actually allowed to stay? Can we just go everywhere, or how does this work?" Rey wondered.  
"There are quarters in the palace, but I heard they are already occupied. Also these houses outside here. Look at this one, that's mine!" he pointed to a house about fifteen away metres from where they stood.  
"Rey, this one over there is still free. We could totally be neighbours! But no lawn-mowing on sundays!" Poe grinned widely at her.

Rey's mouth fell agape at this and she looked over to the small house. Then to Kylo, then back to Poe. "Oh maker! I have never lived in a house before!  
This is so crazy! So we just go in there and then it just belongs to us? Just like that?"

"Jup. And most of the houses are already cleaned up by cleaning droids too. They may not have all the proper furniture, but for a start, it will be enough I guess.  
Mine was pretty awesome actually. Bed, kitchen, I even found old wine bottles. I might open one today." Poe grinned as he motioned a drinking gesture.

"Wow, that sounds like some kind of paradise thing. Thanks for telling me, Poe! So...hgggnnn..." she started to squirm. "Oh my! Ok I have to go now, I need to see it!  
Is it like a real house and all? I can't wait! I'll see for myself. See you later Poe!" then she started to run off at full speed into the direction of the house, letting Poe and Kylo stand there as both men watched her.

Just when Kylo wanted to turn around to go to his ship, he heard her pressing call: "Kylo!"  
He looked at her puzzled and yelled back: "What is it?"  
She stood at the door, hand on the handle as she was going to open it any second: "Why are you still standing there? Are you coming or not?"

Poe laughed and joked: "Man your relationship is going fast. Already moving in together. When's the baby coming?"  
Kylo's eyes widened slightly, but then he grunted in annoyance and boldly answered: "Nine months from now." then he walked away, over to Rey,  
while Poe didn't know if this was a joke or if he meant it seriously.

When Kylo reached Rey she beamed at him like a child who's going to get ice cream any second.  
He didn't share her excitement at all, but he could understand why she felt this way, as he knew that she lived in this old AT-AT most of her life.  
"I hope we also have a kitchen. I have never cooked something in a real kitchen before! Did you?" she bubbled out.

Kylo was a little perplexed at this question but hesitantly answered: "Yes. Long time ago. Before the First Order" Then he added after some seconds of silence:  
"You questioning if "we" will have a kitchen, sounds like as if I should also be in this house?"  
At first, she didn't understand why he was pointing the "we" out like that, but then it clicked and a reassuring smile played alongside her lips and she took his hand in hers and squeezed it lightly:  
"You were surprised when I said 'we'? Actually, I didn't think much about it when I said that. because I thought it's obvious you are coming.  
But yes I want us both to move into this house. Do you not want to?" she asked now a little pleading.

She saw him shifting weight on his feet like he was pondering about it. Then he brushed a hand nervously through his hair and intensely looked into her eyes.  
 _Kylo Ren being nervous._ That's something she would never get enough to see. It didn't match his overall confident attitude but made him look just so humanly which made it even more alluring.  
"It's just so...really close. I'm not used to living with anyone together like this. It's new and it feels like such an ordinary thing, civilians would do." he finally told her.  
"Then just let's act like ordinary civilians when we are in this house. Once outside, we can again be these crazy force wielding users, getting our lives in danger, trying to overthrow the First Order. Actually, I'd just be happy if I can wake up next to you in the morning." she smiled at him.

He looked at her for a long time then knitted his eyebrows together and sighed. "Well ok. If there's a functioning kitchen, You'll get breakfast tomorrow." With that,  
he motioned her to open the door, which she enthusiastically did while giggling at the thought of Kylo making her breakfast.

When they entered it was totally dark and they weren't able to see much. So Kylo took off the saber from his belt and ignited it, to have some light. They stood in a small living room with a table and four chairs around. There were several shelves on the wall with books stored inside and in a corner just under the window was a couch.  
When she went over to the window as Kylo followed her to give her some light, she found some candles standing on the windowsill. She mouthed an "Oh" and took some of them to light them on Kylo's saber. After they burned brightly he deactivated his weapon and took one of the candles into his hand and sprawled his other hand against her back and shoved her in a direction of the room which was still completely dark. She protested first but instantly stopped when she saw where he was shoving her.  
"This feels completely wrong for me to shove you into the kitchen, but here you are, looks good enough for me." he stated.

She walked over and silently traced her fingers on the surface of the kitchen as she had the biggest smile on her face, then she took a swing to the left and went over to the other room, which obviously was the bedroom. First, she let her flat hand wander over the sheets, then she turned around and plopped herself down on it and eyed Kylo in some thoughtful way.  
He put the candle on the floor next to the bed and watched her as he crossed his arms in front of his chest.  
She took his arm and lightly pulled him to the bed, guiding him to sit next to her and whispered in a raspy voice:  
"Kylo, this is our home for now. I'd never thought something like this would happen. Actually, when I first met you I would have thought, one of us would be dead by now.  
Thank you for staying with me. With us." she quietly said, while her hand laid on his.

"I don't quite feel "home" here. But I'm glad you do. At least we can train here for good and have some time left before the First Order finds us.  
Waking up next to you might also be a bonus." he said, while he took the back of her head in his hand and pressed it under his chin to embrace her.  
They sat there for some minutes mumbling about the things they need to do before settling in. When they were done distributing their tasks, Kylo went back to the ship to get some of their stuff to the house, while Rey searched for some kind of junction box to activate the electricity again.

On the way to the ship he ran into Chewbacca, who he hadn't seen since the attack of the First Order on D'Qar.  
He flinched a little when he saw the big-haired beast, as their last interaction was him killing Han Solo and Chewie shooting him for it.  
He just stood there glued to the spot and watched this wookie he had known for years approach him, fully expecting to get attacked or at least heavily insulted.

When Chewbacca stood in front of him he howled out: " _You were my little Ben! I can never forgive you for killing Han!"  
_ Kylo lowered his head in self-hatred and answered: "I know Chewbacca. You don't have to. I'll accept your livelong wrath for me."  
 _"You won't hurt Leia or sunshine?"_ Chewie growled.  
"Sunshine? Sunshine...You mean Rey?" Kylo pondered for a second and then had to inwardly smile at her given nickname.  
 _"Yes. Don't you dare to hurt them_. _I will shoot you again. But you won't ever stand up after this."_ The wookie yelled while stepping one step nearer to Kylo Ren.

"I know you have every right to not believe me, but I'll promise you to not hurt Leia or...sunshine...Rey. If you think I do, feel free to shoot me. I mean it." he offered.  
 _"I hope, I'll never have to. I'll hold you to your word, little Ben."_ Chewbacca yelled out. He held out a brown shoulder-bag to him and grunted: " _It's sunshine's bag.  
Give it to her. She forgot it on your father's ship."_  
Then he turned around and walked away, obviously distressed with having Kylo here on this base.

Kylo went to his ship and gathered his stuff, then he went back to the house and placed his things and her bag on the table in the living room.  
Of course, she already found a way to make the electricity work again so the rooms were comfortably lit. When he came in he saw her rummaging through drawers and cupboards and asked: "What do you search for?"  
She turned around and looked at him to answer: "Nothing special actually. Just wanted to see if we have some useful stuff in here. I already found plates, but no cutlery nor kitchen utensils, also wine bottles as Poe said and a shovel. I could start gardening!" she mused.

She kept rummaging while Kylo went to the bookshelves and looked at the covers. Occasionally they told each other what they found, Rey's highlight was a map of the area and Kylo's highlight was a conspiracy book with the title: "Jedi & Sith - secretly working together to take over the world!"  
When they were done searching the house, they decided to call it a day and go to bed.  
Rey convinced Kylo to read her some lines from the conspiracy book as she nestled herself against him on the bed.  
It felt totally odd for him to read to her as it was an utterly loving gesture which felt strange, as he had never done this before with someone.

His voice sounded pretty monotone while doing so, but at some parts, she started to giggle or full heartily laugh, because the conclusions in the book sounded so ridiculous.  
He didn't laugh but sometimes commented it sarcastically or labelled some of the cruellest ideas as good ones.  
When he felt her getting sleepy, he closed the book and laid it on the floor. They fell asleep in a matter of seconds as Rey spooned him from behind.

The next morning they were woken by beeping noises from a droid on their door, telling them the cantina is going to open every minute.  
Kylo was sprawled on his chest on the bed and he grumpily reached out his hand into the direction of the droid as in he plans on giving him a force push to stop beeping.  
But Rey was faster, as she felt what he was going to do and instantly jumped onto his back and started gnawing on his arm jokingly.  
He turned his head into the pillow and groaned in annoyance.  
"What happened to the morning person Kylo Ren, who was always awake long before me back on Ahch-To?" she asked right next to his ear.

"Morning person Kylo Ren wasn't disturbed by a damn droid, from dreaming about fucking his girl through the whole house."  
he muffled into his pillow.  
Rey had to laugh out loud at these crass words but she loved it so she bowed down to his neck where she started to nibble her way to his ears and whispered:  
"So you might want to finish your dream? As _your girl_ maybe shared a similar dream."

As soon as she had said these words he pulled himself up and already bent her over the bed, teasing her nipples from behind as he pressed his groin against her bottom.  
She felt how aroused he already was, which instantly aroused herself too. So they had really fast and dirty good-morning sex, which just took about fifteen minutes but he made her orgasm anyways as he was hitting just the right spot just slightly under her belly button when he was taking her from behind.  
When he also came in her she dropped down on her stomach and laid there, regaining her breath. He kneeled down behind her and started massaging her butt with one hand and the other one played with the juices which were dripping out of her as he leaned his head against her thigh.  
This position was kind of awkward for her as she felt Kylo could see everything of her really close right now. But she didn't have any worries left as she felt his amazement through their bond.

She hissed a little at him touching her again because she still felt frenzied down there but she let him keep on doing it anyway. Then after some seconds, she remarked:  
"I think I'll go to the doctor today. We slept together several times now and didn't think of any kind of protection, which is insanely stupid. I really do not want to get pregnant."

"Don't worry about it." he just stated, while slipping two fingers into her, which made her moan and arch a little.  
"What? Of course, I do! You don't want to impregnate me, don't you?" she asked while she turned her head a little shocked over her shoulder to see him.  
"No. I don't and I can't." he plainly answered while he now used his thumb to massage her clit while slowly pumping in and out with his two fingers.  
"What...oh my...why? The Fuck Kylo!" she moaned as she felt pleasure building up again.  
"When I found out about Snoke's plans and how he exploits me, I secretly underwent a medical procedure years ago to make me infertile, because I figured someday he  
would order me to breed. So no children are coming from this bloodline ever again." he slightly smiled at her.

"Oh...that's actually pretty sad. Fuck. Kylo I can't talk like this if you...hnnngnn...mhm...if you keep on doing this." she breathed.  
"Then don't talk and cum." he ordered her as he started pumping his fingers faster while rubbing her clit in circles. She was so wet inside and he could already feel her contractions coming up. He just said: "There you go Rey." as he kissed her bum, while she orgasmed on his hand in shivering motions, pressing even more liquid out onto her already slick folds.

When she was done moaning uncontrollably and able to talk again, she turned around to lie on her back and face him with a slightly reddish face but a serious glance:  
"I think you would have become an excellent father someday day. But I understand your reasoning. And damn. What the hell. That orgasm you gave me was unholy."  
"Pfff. Sure. I would probably behead my children accidentally in a fit of rage." he snorted as he slid his fingers out of her and drew a wet line on her abdomen with her own fluids. As she watched him do this insanely arousing gesture, she felt her heart flutter. This man is the devil, but she is so damn much in love with him it was unnatural.  
She smiled and ruffled his hair a little before she gave him a short kiss and stood up to shower quickly, what he also did, but after her, as they didn't want to risk having sex again and missing breakfast.

When they were done and on their way to leave, Rey saw her brown shoulder-bag on the table and raised an eyebrow at him: "Thanks for getting it, I nearly forgot.  
But I thought you wouldn't want to go into the Falcon?"  
"I didn't. Chewbacca gave it to me." he answered.

They left the house together and kept talking. "Chewie did? Wow isn't this the first time you talked since...Han died?"  
"Yes." he plainly answered.  
"So what happened? How did you both react?" she asked curiously.  
"He told me that he'll never forgive me for what I did and that he is going to kill me when I hurt you or Leia, which is a fair deal in my opinion." he explained emotionless.  
Her mouth fell agape and she wanted to say something when she remembered she made pretty much the same deal with him about Luke.

When they entered the cantina everybody's eyes were on them, which unnerved Rey a lot, as she didn't like this kind of attention. Kylo didn't care at all about the others.  
Rey grabbed her food and went to the table where Poe and Finn already sat, where she plopped herself down next to the former stormtrooper, whom she hugged and across the pilot, whom she high-fived.  
For some reason, Kylo took a little longer but came to their table after two minutes or so and seated himself next to Poe.  
Finn didn't greet him but kept on eating his food.  
Kylo started to fumble on his belt and Finn was getting nervous at that and he already tilted himself a little back, when the dark side user suddenly pulled a frying pan out from under his cape and placed it in front of Rey.

Finn now totally perplexed just yelled out: "What the hell? What's that supposed to mean?" While his gaze wandered from the pan to Rey, then to Kylo.  
Rey smiled a big grin as she took the pan into her hands and inspected it: "We needed a pan in our kitchen. I guess we now have one. Thank you, so thoughtful!"  
"Where did you get that from?" Poe chuckled at him.  
"The cook has a really weak mind." Kylo boldly stated.  
Now Finn eyed him and said a little angry: "So you forced him to give it to you?"  
Kylo looked at him a little longer, then said: "I asked him nicely - with the force. Nobody got hurt."  
"That's a good use of the force!" Rey tuned in hold up the pan.  
"But he actually stole it, Rey! That's not something good." Finn interrupted her.  
"I think I did good today, compared to everything else I normally do." Kylo plainly stated as he took a sip of his tea.

Poe and Rey started to laugh at that and she brushed her hand against his and mouthed a: "Thanks." to him.  
Then Finn asked: "When you said "we" needed a pan, did you mean that as in you are living together now?"  
Rey nodded and beamed at Kylo, who glanced over to Finn as he offered: "I know you hate me. For obvious reasons. If you want to visit Rey I can leave for the time being to give you two space."  
Finn gulped at this offer, as he hadn't expected this at all: "Uhm ok. I actually try to not hate you so much since Rey told me everything. But its hard for me.  
Thank you for the offer, I'll make use of it."

They all ate and talked about the fight with the giant space worm yesterday. Finn wanted to know if there might be more of these creatures around. But Kylo told them,  
that he force-scanned nearly the entire planet and he didn't find any lifeforms as big as this monster. So the chance is high, it was the only one.

After a while, the girl whom Kylo and Rey saved from the worm came over to their table, face red as hell and a folded paper was pressed against her chest.  
She stood in front of Kylo and reached a hand with the paper to him. He hesitated for a second before silently taking it. The moment he had it, she instantly ran away giggling like crazy to a makeshift tent she had build with two other kids in a corner of the room. Some people of the cantina had seen this and curiously looked over to how he will react. He turned around and looked at Rey, then muttered a: "She acts like you." to her. Rey instantly went red and she protested. But Poe and Finn were on Kylo's side this time and the pilot said: "You are red even now. And you giggle like that when you talk about your boyfriend over here."

Kylo opened the folded paper a little annoyed and tried to understand the picture.  
He had to turn it around until he understood. The girl drew a completely dark figure with a red saber in the corner, next to a big worm monster. Funnily the dark figure wore a golden crown on his head. From the corner was a red dotted line with an arrow to the top left corner. There was a drawn tent with three stick figures sitting in it and something was above their head, which looked like a galaxy.  
Poe snorted and grabbed the paper: "Man, she drew you as a prince. I bet she totally fell for you too. You are getting all the girls here!"  
"Eww Poe! She is like seven or something. You are disgusting!" Rey slapped him on his arm. He just yelled that it was a joke while she was punching him.  
After they came down they expectantly looked at Kylo, who mumbled: "Ok I guess I need to visit this "castle" they built over there."

Rey and Poe grinned like crazy, while Finn looked at him in disbelief as he stood up and walked over to the children. Kylo sent one message to Rey before he reached them: " _Rey how the fuck does someone deal with children? How do they work? I'm really not good with this at all."  
_ She nearly burst with laughter as she told Finn and Poe that Kylo just sent her some kind of desperate help message through their bond.

When he reached them and now nearly the whole cantina watched him, he sat down on the floor in front of their tent. The little girl crawled out and hugged him, which again was the strangest sight Rey has ever seen.  
Then the other two children crawled out and all started to show him different drawings explaining something wildly and simultaneously while pointing with pencils and fingers on the papers. Rey and the other's just watched this whole scene as perplexing as it was and tried to understand what they were showing him.  
After they were done explaining Kylo took some of the papers too and held them next to each other, changing between them and laying some of the floor. Then he shook his head and handed them back to the children and explained them something. Their faces distorted and with anger, sadness and disappointment. So the girl started to cry and threw herself on the floor. Then the other boy started to kick the pencil box out of their tent and the second boy just laid on the boor weeping with his face down.

Rey and Poe nearly lay on the floor from laughter now as Kylo Ren was surrounded by three crying children throwing a temper tantrum. Some other people in the cantina had to hold their mouth with their hand, to not also burst into a laughing fit, whilst others thought he was going to torture the kids.  
 _"Rey this is not fucking funny!"_ Kylo messaged her through their bond. _"Oh yes, it is!_ " she messaged back.

Then he stood up and collected all the kicked around pencils with the force, which made the children quiet for a second as it was interesting enough to watch.  
He motioned them to come over to him, with the pencils in his hand as he whispered something to them. One child nodded and crawled into the tent get something.  
It was a thick pencil.  
Kylo took it and just started to draw on the whole wall next to their tent. The children all jumped up in excitement, running around him and also started scribbling on the wall.

Finn just blinked at the others and said in disbelief: "Is he showing the kids how to vandalize this palace now? This isn't good, is it?"  
"I have no idea what he is doing. But I'll sit back and watch. This is going to be interesting." Poe exclaimed as he sipped on his coffee.  
Now the whole cantina watched him and the kids scribbling on the wall until after some time it became clearer what they were actually drawing.  
It was a map. Of nearly the whole galaxy. From scratch. He drew the outlines of the map, whilst the children added lots of dots with names next to them.  
When he was done after some time and the kids cheered happily at him and hugged him, the girl bowed to his head and whispered something in his ear.  
He nodded and stood up and also drew two points on the drawing with names next to them.

When he was done he gave the little girl a pat on her head and then walked back to Rey, Finn and Poe, who sat there with mouth agape at what had just happened.  
"What the hell man?" Poe just blurted out. "What is this?"  
Kylo just leaned himself back and sipped on his by now cold tea, looking disgruntled into his cup while he explained.  
"The kids drew a map of some parts of the universe on several papers. They wanted to mark the birthplace of everyone from this base on it. When I told them their drawings are not going far enough at all, they snapped because they didn't know they'd just need a bigger surface to draw on. So I drew it. Now probably everyone will fit on it.  
If not, they can extend the map to the other walls. End of story."

Rey looked totally puzzled at him and asked: "You drew a map of the universe from scratch? How'd you do that? And what were the two points you marked?"  
Kylo glanced at her and answered: "Yes. I have some kind of photographic memory when it comes to maps or numbers. The two marks where my birthplace and Jakku.  
Since we still don't know where you exactly came from. We'll change it if we ever find out."  
Rey's eyes widened and she jumped up. "Your birthplace? I...I don't know where you were born!" then she hastily stalked over to the children and stood in front of the map on the wall, touching the mark where Kylo drew the planet he was born on. She brushed a finger against it and smiled. Then she watched the children draw more planets on the map from the rebels of whom they already knew the birthplace about.

One after another now stood up from their seats in the cantina and went over to the map on the wall, as they gazed at it and told the kids where they were born. In seconds there was a crowd of people gathered in front of it and everyone was chattering. Rey walked back to their table and took Kylo's face in her hand and placed a kiss on his forehead while she mumbled: "Chandrila it is? Is it Ben Solo's birthplace, or Kylo Ren's?"  
Kylo slightly pressed his lips together and answered: "Ben's."  
She just smiled and drew her thumb against his temple and then answered: "I somehow knew."


	30. Chapter 30: Popcorn

When they were done eating and talking Rey and Kylo decided to start their training right now, so she'd learn how to render him unconscious for the moment when Snoke is going to contact him.  
They decided to do this outside of the palace in the grass like they did on Ahch-To. So they left the area with all the rebels and made their way to a valley not far away from everything, with a green carpet of grass and colourful flowers all over the ground.

There was a soft breeze, but overall it was warm as they seated themselves across each other in the grass.  
Rey was the first to speak: "It's so beautiful here." as she picked up a flower and put it in her hair. Kylo smiled a bit at that and brushed her knee in response.  
"So you have to tell me how to do this. Can I hurt you? And if I am able to do it, how long will you be out? I don't want to make you unconscious for hours.  
What do I do if you don't wake up?" now sounding a little panicked.

"Ok, where to start? Yes, you can hurt me. But not lethally. We can't say how long I'll be out. I hope not too long. That's why you have to focus on just pushing really small portions of the force into my mind. Barely brushing it. If you go in with your full energy I might be out for days. Normally I wouldn't, because of the barrier I constantly have up against this kind of attack. But of course I won't build one now, or when you have to use it in an emergency.  
So this might be a little dangerous as you could be using too much power. But my trust in you lies deep and you might be able to use our bond as an advantage to feel when it will be too much." he explained calmly.

Her eyes widened and she felt scared. "Thanks for trusting me. But this sounds horrific to me. What if I don't feel it? I didn't feel my own force reserve drain out on Ahch-To when we were mind probing. How shall I ever feel how much of a push you need, when I do this to you?"

"Feel it or don't. There is no in between." he boldly stated.  
"Phew, Kylo you don't exactly get rid of my fears like that. But whatever. I'll do this. If you stay unconscious for too long, I'll drag your ass to the house and will throw you on the bed or something like that. Maybe draw things on your face, just for fun." she exclaimed as she threw her hands in the air in frustration.  
"I'll whoop your ass if you do! You are an unbelievably strong force user. Have some confidence in your abilities! So are you ready?" Kylo questioned her.

She nodded and held her hands out to his temples. He looked her straight into the eyes as he waited for her to start. He could feel her energy just slightly brushing against his mind, then a really strong flash of pain rushed through his head and he nearly fell over from it as he grunted and clawed his hands into the grass in front of him.  
She instantly withdrew the force and held his head desperately. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Uh no, are you okay?" she cried out.

He took a moment to come back from this episode but nodded in the end and said: "Yes it's alright. Do it again, but channel the force to one long stream of energy instead of one short now. You have to slip in my mind like a flowing river."  
She let go of his head and looked at him still shocked by the pain she caused him. She held up her now trembling hands against his temples again and closed her eyes.  
Just when she wanted to start, Kylo said: "Wait. Stop." Her eyes opened again and she croaked a: "What?" at him.  
"You are trembling. You shall never be scared to hurt me!" he tried to calm her down.

"But I am scared to hurt you. Of course, I am!" she told him. He hasn't expected this. On Starkiller base, she had no problem slicing his face apart.  
But of course, back then they had an entirely different kind of relationship.  
He huffed a little and his hand went through his hair, thinking of a solution. "Rey, if I say you can hurt me, then I mean it like that.  
If I someday come to you and tell you to plug your lightsaber through me, shoot me, or even kill me, I would actually expect you to do this without hesitation.  
I would not say this if I didn't mean it. I say this not as your "boyfriend" or whatever we are, but more so over as your teacher and fellow force user."

Her eyes grew wide with this statement and she just nodded, trying to accept what he just said, hoping that this situation will never occur.  
"Ok. I understand. I'll do it again now." she stated. Then she took a deep breath and meditated for some minutes, before pressing her hands against his temples again.  
She wasn't trembling anymore, but still felt a little agitated.  
She let the force flow through him in long waves. At first, she thought it works as he didn't seem to have any pain. But after a while, she saw him closing his eyes while gritting his teeth. He was in pain, but he tried to hide it from her, so she wouldn't stop.  
When she was about to draw back her hands, he messaged her through the bond: " _Don't stop now. Keep on!"  
_ She didn't want to but she did. He was clawing his fist into his knees and she kept on pressing into his mind. Just then his head slumped onto his chest and he was gone.  
She was able to catch him the last second before he would have fallen facedown on the grass.

She moved him a little, so he could rest easier on her lap, then she stroked his forehead and massaged his temples, which had little sweat pearls on it, probably from suppressing the pain. She felt horrible for causing this, but it seemed like it had worked. The question now was, how long he'd be out after that.  
At first, she watched him, but after a time she just laid her hand on his chest and started to pick the flowers she was able to reach around them.  
Then she started to braid them into a crown on his chest which she in the end put on her own head. Whilst she glancing around trying to reach some more flowers,  
she realized Kylo was moving again, so she looked down at him as he held his hand over his eyes to shield them from the sun.

"You did it!" he proclaimed proudly. Then his hand reached up and he stroked her cheek with one finger.  
"You look like some goddamn queen with that thing on your head and the sun shining from behind you." he added.  
Then he came up and snatched her head with one hand and pulled her into a kiss. "A fucking beautiful one." he mouthed to her.  
Of course, her face turned red and she just smiled at him as her heart beat fast into her chest. How was he doing this every time?  
Making her feel so giddy inside?

"Yes, I think I did. But you looked like you were in pain a lot." she apologized.  
"There is no reason to worry about this as I said before. You did well. Let's do it again." he said and seated himself up again.  
"Now you have to abruptly stop the stream of your energy flow when you realize I'm unconscious. That's how you can control how long I am gone."  
he explained to her

She nodded and held her hands against his temples, trying to do as he said. He again started to grip his knees in pain and closed his eyes and the second she felt him slipping away, she instantly withdrew.  
This time he was gone for just about five minutes.

They did this procedure the whole day until she was able to make him unconscious without him being in pain and until she was able to control how long he'll be gone.  
She was such a quick learner, he was massively impressed by her and mostly praised her or adjusted some small things.  
When they decided to walk back, he took his hand in hers, how he once did on Ahch-To. It was the sweetest gesture and they talked while strolling along the valley.  
She asked him about his mother, as she wondered why they didn't talk since he awoke from his coma. He just shrugged his shoulders and guessed that she was either scared of him, or really involved in politics, as she always was when he was younger. She remarked to find this behaviour utterly strange, as Leia was so heartbroken to see him die, but wouldn't visit him after he is awake again, walking around the base - saving the base and working for them.  
Kylo just shrugged his shoulders again and told her, that he didn't expect anything else.

When they arrived at the houses, they saw Finn, Poe and several others in front of the pilot's house sitting around a fire, drinking and laughing.  
Rey and Kylo still held hands as they approached the circle of people, but stopped some metres before they reached them and then parted as Kylo went to the palace and Rey to the campfire. She seated herself to the other's while Kylo went away because he told her he needed some parts for her training the next days. As he didn't want to reveal for what exactly she resigned and walked over to her friends.  
They chattered for some time and Rey told them about their training today. Most of the others were relieved to hear that they are now able to block Snoke out if he'll attack, others joked about Rey being able to take out Kylo Ren with a snap of her fingers now, whilst others said it is still dangerous to have him on the base.

Everyone wanted to know how their training will be the next days, as nobody from the group at the campfire except Finn and Poe has ever seen force users use their powers, so this was high-class entertainment for the rebels. She told them that they will train lightsaber combat the next few days when Poe got excited and asked if they could watch them as he always wanted to see her fight.  
She just shrugged her shoulders and said: "Yes sure, why not. But be careful to not disturb us."

Later that evening Kylo came back and walked over to the group, where he motioned Poe to follow him. Rey was now super suspicious as she couldn't imagine why in the galaxy Kylo and Poe would talk with each other.

After about an hour Poe came back grinning wildly as he sat down again while Rey tried to interrogate him what this was all about.  
He just stated: "Your boyfriend is a really dedicated man!"  
"Poe what the heck! You two planning something together can just mean really bad trouble, am I right?" she cursed at him.  
"No calm down sweetie! Guess your loverboy will tell you later." Then he winked her and kept on talking to the others in the circle.  
She huffed and crossed her arms in front of her body as she hated to not know what was going on.

Later that evening when some rebels had already left the fire, Kylo finally came over and kneeled next to Rey, who instantly started to bombard him with questions.  
He just nudged her in the side and told her to shut up, then he pulled out a small bag from his cape, which he opened to show several metal parts and wires.  
She took them in her hands and tried making sense out of it, while Poe and Kylo exchanged glances.  
"Kylo. I really don't understand this. You brought me...Metal parts? Thanks, but why?" she asked totally puzzled.

"Because tomorrow morning we're going to rebuild your saber into a double bladed one, as we now have all the needed parts, thanks to your pilot friend over there.  
It shouldn't take long, as we just have to modify the existing one." Kylo explained.

Reys eyes widened and she looked back and forth between Poe, Kylo and the metal parts. Then she closed her hands around the bag and they started to tremble.  
Poe and Kylo changed confused glances at that, but the next second Rey jumped up, yelled: "FUCK yes! Yes yes yes! By the maker! Shit I can't believe this! You two are the fucking worst!" then she instantly threw her arms around Kylo and crashed her face down to a kiss and afterwards ran over to punch a fist into Poe's arm and hugged him wildly whilst still cursing them both.  
Everyone at the camp grew quiet at her outburst and watched her bombard Kylo with questions about the new blade. He calmly answered some, until he said that she will see the rest tomorrow morning when they'll start.

The other rebels who sat there were now super excited to see her new weapon in action and asked if they also are allowed to come to the training and watch when they were done building it. Rey and Kylo simultaneously answered: "Yes."and "No." then stared at each other while arguing through their bond.  
After several seconds Rey clapped her hands together and declared with the most innocent smile, but still in a sarcastic way: "Yep you can watch. But if anyone interferes us, the person will get force choked."  
Then Kylo Ren stood up and let her know that he is going back to their house now, which felt totally weird for him, to refer it as "their" house.  
She instantly jumped up and hooked her arm into his following him, waving the others a good night.

Rey was really excited for tomorrow, but also exhausted from their today's mind training so they went to sleep fast next to each other, head nestled into his neck,  
whilst he held her body close to his.

The next morning Rey woke up from the bleeping sounds of the droid outside, telling them again about breakfast in the cantina. Her arm went over to the side of the bed but she realized she was alone. So she stood up and walked over to the living room with closed eyes while she stretched her arms into the air.  
He was sitting at the table, tools spread out in front of him staring at her while holding her lightsaber in his hands. When her arms dropped down beside her, she glanced back at him and asked: "What?"  
He smiled a little but then got back to turning her saber around in his hands and mumbled: "Nothing. You just looked insanely beautiful right now."  
"Pff. I look like shit. But I'm glad at least you like it." she beamed at him, still a little sleepy.

She came over and placed herself on his lap while she watched him unscrew the metal on its hilt, as he now held both arms around her while doing so. It felt like something utterly normal, a thing an ordinary couple would do too sittin like that. But right now he just loved to have her sit there in silence, his nose slightly between her open messy hair, experiencing the building of her new lightsaber together.  
Rey realized the saber has a lot of different metal parts in it, which she wasn't aware of, she thought the build to be a little bit easier.  
When he finally reached the last part, there was a bluish crystal shining through the opening.

He eyes widened and she gasped: "Oh. The kyber crystal. Wow!"  
He was super careful while he pulled the crystal out and put it in her hand. She turned it around and held it in the light to watch the moving energy inside. It looked like an ocean to her, which she mentioned. Kylo now also took it in his hands again and nodded while examining it.

"Now that we have the crystal out, comes your part. You have to build your hilt to your liking. It has to fit your stance, your smaller hands, your body height and everything else that has bugged you before with the normal saber form.  
You might want to use your staff as a reference. When it comes to wiring I'll help you, as we have to be careful not to put in the emitter matrix the wrong way round because it would explode then and kill us." he explained totally calm.

"Kill us? Phew okay. Let's not get killed like that ok? Sounds totally non-heroic and boring." she answered while turning the hilt around in her hands.  
He pulled her up a little from his lap and stood up himself.

"While you are occupied I'll make breakfast." Her head turned around surprised and her eyes widened, then a grin wandered over her lips. "Fuck, Kylo. I love you."  
"I know." he plainly answered, then walked over to the kitchen and started to rummage around in the drawers of the cupboards.

Meanwhile, she started to deconstruct the old hilt of her saber and opened the other end so the energy would be able to flow through both sides.  
They kept to themselves in silence for about half an hour until Kylo came over with plates and pancakes on them. Rey jumped up at this sight and hovered over them in awe, sniffing at them to take in their delicious smell.  
"Oh my pancakes! Wow that's so awesome!" Then she looked back onto the table, which was completely littered with metal parts and wires in a special order so she realized they couldn't eat there.  
"Let's go out and eat there. The sun is shining, it's going to be nice outside." she beamed at him.

They both went out and leaned their backs against the exterior wall of their house as they sat on the grass, while Kylo handed her a plate.  
She devoured the pancakes, smacking her lips together loudly whilst doing so. He watched her for some seconds then commented: "You eat like some feral animal."  
Rey glanced at him and chewed a little slower and quieter. Then she picked up one of his pancakes from his plate and stuffed it as a whole into her mouth, chewing even louder than before, while grinning open-mouthed at him.

He first watched her with horror, but after some time had to laugh out loud as he panted out something about her wanting to become a Jedi like that, not going to happen as she needed manners for that.  
She now joined in his laughing fit and nearly choked on her food. Then after some time, when both calmed down again, she just placed her hand on his and smiled at him: "Kylo, this is actually the first time I have ever seen you laugh full heartedly. You know back then when we stole the speeder from the junk dealer with the metal parts for your ship? When I hopped on behind you, I got a small laughing fit, because I imagined you laughing with your helmet on, because I thought you might be ticklish.  
But as I had never heard it before, it just sounded really strange and unfitting to me as I couldn't imagine how it would sound. You've got the sweetest laugh!"

Kylo Ren pondered about this for some seconds as he watched her intensely. "That's why you giggled like that? I noticed back then and thought you were crazy.  
Sweet but also crazy of course."

They kept talking about their time together on the desert planet and just now realized that each of them was much earlier intrigued by the other one than they knew before.  
They kept eating their breakfast like that until they were done and walked back inside.  
It was such a sweet moment for Rey, sitting outside at dawn together with Kylo and talking about the moment they realised they were falling for each other.  
For him, it was even back on Starkiller base when they crossed their sabers while the planet died and she closed her eyes trying to find the force.  
For her, it was the moment he took off his gloves to relocate her knee after he freed her, telling her he didn't like spinach, as this was the first time she realised he was just a man with emotions, likes and dislikes. But she had also felt her heart beat a little too fast for her liking back then when he pulled of his mask in front of her back in the interrogation chamber. He remembered too and told her that he was so close touching her face but felt it inappropriate at this moment.

When they were done talking and eating, they went back into the house and kept on working on her saber together. It took them about three hours to complete it and when he finally screwed the last part on again, he presented it to her and laid it in her palms, which she instantly took with a really wide grin on her face.  
"I really, really have to try it out now. I can't wait!" she burst out and ran out of the door.  
He followed and stood in the doorframe with crossed arms.  
She activated it and two blue laser beams came out of both sides as she let out a high pitched yelp of pure joy when it worked. Her head snapped to him, as he nodded and motioned her to try it out.

She instantly whirled it around and started to attack invisible things around her. Again it looked so fluently, it felt like she was dancing.  
Kylo's eyes were glued to her as he understood this weapon is going to be a game changer to her fighting skills and he felt awe and pride building up in him again as he could feel how secure she already felt.  
Some other rebels who were walking around on the base saw it and watched her with open mouths.

"You are ready to start your training again. Nothing is holding you back anymore." Kylo declared and she just nodded happily.  
As Kylo went back to their house to gather his and some of her things for training, she went over to Poe and Finn and excitedly told them about the new lightsaber and invited them to their training session.

So the four of them went over to the big flower field were Kylo and Rey had been training the day before.  
Kylo gave them the advice to back off about twenty metres if they wanted to keep their heads on their heads, which they did. Poe even brought a big bag of popcorn as he seated himself next to Finn and offered him some.  
After some minutes about ten more rebels came over and seated themselves next to the other two men.

Kylo and Rey decided to sit in a safe distance cross-legged in front of each other to talk about the rules of their training.  
"I really don't want you to go easy on me. Snoke won't too. So please don't hold back." Rey pleaded.  
"Ok, if you wish. I won't hold back. You will get hurt and have scratches and bruises on you. I'll try to not break any bones." he stated.  
She gulped a little and asked: "So I can use everything? Biting, punching, kicking, mind probing?" "Of course. You must." he answered.

Then they decided to stand up and start. Both ignited their sabers and took some steps backwards, while the people sitting on the ground got really excited.  
It was the first time Finn and Poe saw her new lightsaber and they instantly decided it fits her perfectly.

She yelled over to Kylo: "Go?" He nodded concentrated and swirled his saber next to him in anticipation of her attack.  
She held her double bladed saber above her head as she rushed forward in zig-zag lines, trying to make it hard for him, from which direction she is going to attack but the second she reached him, he just took a step to the side, grabbed the back of her head and pressed it hard down on the ground, burying her face in the grass, while she screamed something vulgar.  
Then he took a step backwards and patiently waited for her to get up.

Finn was already getting sweat pearls on his forehead from watching, while Poe absent-mindedly pushed more popcorn in his mouth.

When she stood up, her face was all dirty and she looked at him with wide eyes just now realising this is the first time she see's him in his normal state, without being hurt badly or with drained energy reserves. Which means he is going to fight her with the full power as he has never done before.  
"Ok that's a start. Phew. Let's try again." she huffed.

So she attacked again, now with a different approach as she tried this time to let herself fall done the last second before she reaches him, to slide against his feet and throw him over. Which also didn't work, as he realised fast enough what she's going to do, so he widened his stance and let her slide through his legs and put one foot on top of her hands, holding the saber above her head. The grass around them started to burn away as the laser touched it. He just watched her for a second from above as she now lay fully at his mercy in front of him and whispered: "Sweet." then backed off again and waited for her to get up.

She again stood up, now a little bit angry and instantly tried to attack again, which he parried with his saber and pushed her back a few steps.  
When she regained her composure she jumped up and swirled around, the fight getting faster now as he deflected her bows. One moment later he just kicked her lightsaber hilt, which made it flow away and then he held his own weapon against her neck.

They did this for some time and he was always able to disarm her in a matter of seconds. She kneeled on the ground, panting heavily as he held her weapon in his hand again. Finn nearly lost his mind watching them, as Rey got her fair amount of kicks and already had several scratches on her face. But he didn't interfere as promised.

When she gained her breath again she stood up and asked Kylo: "So Snoke is even stronger than you? I can't believe this! He must be godlike then."  
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and mumbled something like: "Uhm. Yeah sure."  
He glanced at him and saw something in his eyes. "What? Wait. Wait. Are you holding back?"  
He shrugged his shoulders in defence.  
"What the hell? How much?" she gasped in disbelief.  
"I use about forty percent of my power right now." he plainly stated.  
She felt her mouth fall open at that. She knew he was holding back, but not to that amount.

"Ok wow. That's unbelievable. Maybe we should work on my defence then, as I'd never ever in my whole life be able to land a blow on Snoke if I can't land one on you at all."  
she stated with wide eyes.  
"So pessimistic. That's really unlike of you. But sure. I attack, you defend yourself." he approved.

So they took some steps back again and held their lightsabers up in a fighting position. Just when he started to charge in her direction, she wildly sprinted away, letting him stand there baffled with his saber still above his head, mumbling a "What the fuck." while lowering his weapon.

Finn clasped his hands together and cheered, while Poe and several others gasped at this and then started to cheer too.

Ok, Kylo had allowed her to fight by all available means, so this would include running away too. He put his saber on his belt and calmly walked over to her while she still ran away and was about thirty metres away already. So he outstretched his arm and used the force to drag her back on the grass until she laid on her belly directly in front of him, her saber still in her hands right over her head.  
Just when he reached out to pin her hands down, she swirled her legs around his and kicked at his feet which made him fall on his back while she instantly jumped onto him and lunged her saber in the direction of his head. But he was fast enough to hold her hilt and parry the blow, holding both her hands including her weapon above her head.  
As she was now kneeling on top of him while he was lying on his back, he just parted his legs a little more, which made her fall down on his chest and he pushed his fingers between her closed fists, which made lose her saber in the process, which rolled down into the grass above his head.  
She just lay awkwardly on top of him as he hugged both his arms around her body, pushing her own arms to her sides, effectively pinning her down with this.

Rey tried to wiggle her way out, but of course, he was much stronger than her and he just grinned at her fruitless tries, as her head was getting red from shame.  
"I'll bite you if you don't let go." she cursed at him.  
"Oh I might like that." he smirked back.

Her eyes widened and she snorted at that, not believing him. So she crashed her mouth down and bit him on his lip hard until she tasted something copperish.  
He grunted at that and held her head between his hands, trying to keep her away. Then a piece of popcorn rolled down from her head on the grass.  
They both stopped struggling and looked at it.  
"Oi, you two that's no making out session. Get a room!" Poe yelled as he threw more popcorn on them, whilst Finn tried to stop him.  
Rey's head popped up and she angrily flashed over to Poe, spitting out a: "Did you just threw some fucking popcorn on my head?"

When they saw Rey's face, blood running down her lips, Finn gasped and screamed: "Oh maker Rey what the hell?"  
Just then Kylo also came up and rudely shoved her to the side, also having blood on his chin, which he now tried to wipe away with his sleeve.  
Rey realised what Finn meant and also wiped away the blood on her face, giving him a thumbs up and yelled back: "I bit him, not my blood." with a fat grin.  
Finn sat himself down again, a little bit relieved but still wary. The other rebels were chattering while Poe clapped and laughed.

When Kylo stood up, his lip was still bleeding but he didn't care, so he just readied his saber again and motioned her to take a defence stance, but then turned his head over to Poe and yelled: "No more popcorn shithead or I'll force choke you!".  
Rey giggled at this and waited for his attack, without running away this time. He leapt out and tried to swing his saber from the side, which she parried while he instantly kicked her in the stomach when she was still concentrated on their clashing weapons. That made her fly back a bit, but she didn't fall down this time, so he stomped over to her, his big form looking incredibly threatening and he slashed at her again, while jumping behind her, this time so hard, her weapon flew directly from her hand into the grass and he readied his lightsaber backwards to her neck like he did when they first met. She accepted her defeat and smiled at him reenacting this scene deliberately.  
But this she wasn't scared.

They did this for about an hour while the others watched. Rey wasn't able to just get near him once, which frustrated her a lot. But she was also exhausted. He wasn't at all.  
In the end, she desperately tried to use the force against him as she reached her hand in his direction to mind probe him because she knew she is at least trained in this field.  
He could have easily attacked her with his saber, but he jumped on the train and wielded his force back to her, also stretching his hand out. They now stood about two metres afar from each other and tried mind probing the other one. At some point, the ground started to crack open and flowers and patches of grass swirled around them until Rey couldn't hold it anymore and let his force wash over him, which instantly made her pass out and fall to the ground.

He instantly stopped and put his saber on his belt, walking over to her. Finn jumped up again and called for Rey while he tried to run over to her when Poe pulled him down again and told him, that they know what they are doing.

Kylo kneeled down to Rey and picked her up bridal style, then walked over to the other rebels and laid her carefully next to them in the grass, her head resting on his lap, while he picked out some blades of grass from her hair.  
Finn was beside himself with rage and he wanted to choke him right now, but Kylo just stared at him at calmly said: "She's perfectly fine. She will wake up any second. She drained her force power. But I guess training is over." Just when he was done talking Rey moaned a bit and her eyes fluttered open, then she looked up to Kylo, who sat loomed over her and mumbled out a: "Whoah that was awesome! Such a raw power, I could feel the force all around me!"  
Finn threw his hands in the air in defeat, as Poe patted on his back reassuringly.  
"You ok Rey?" Finn asked still not completely convinced.

"Sure! It was just really draining. I went out cold." she nodded.  
Rey was completely covered in dirt, her face had black stripes from the ground on it and she had chunks of grass sticking on her clothes. Kylo looked just like before,  
but with a little bloody lip.

They chattered a bit about their training, Finn accusing Kylo of being too hard to her, while Poe and several other rebels actually defended the dark side user, telling Finn that no other enemy would show mercy, so it was only right for her to be trained this hard to which Kylo and Rey also agreed on.  
After some time Poe looked frustrated into his bowl of popcorn and rattled it a bid in his hands, then he placed it on the floor a little frustrated and complained about so many corns not being popped.

Rey looked at him for some seconds and then snatched the bowl away looking at the corn. "Uh is there some cool Jedi trick to pop popcorn? That would be insanely practical for I don't know if you wanna go to the cinema and not pay for popcorn at the desk, but bring your own." the pilot joked.  
Just when Kylo rolled his eyes at this remark, Rey turned the bowl around and let the corn fall on a plate the others brought with them. Then she ignited her saber and held it over the food in deep concentration. When the first corns popped from the heat she let out small squeaks of joy, while the others cheered.  
When she gave Poe the now popped popcorn back, Kylo commented: "That's the second dumbest thing I ever witnessed something do with a lightsaber."

The others now looked at him interestedly until someone asked: "So what was the dumbest thing?"  
He just shrugged and said: "Nevermind."  
But then Rey nudged him and smirked: "No teasing without telling!"  
He looked at her and then answered: "But it's a First Order story. Creatures from your side get killed in it."  
Poe waved his hand and laughed: "No more spoiling, tell the story! We kill each other the whole time."

Kylo ran a hand through his hair and Rey was wondering if he was nervous right now. "Ok. Once I got this mission to infiltrate a factory of which we had intel, that they are producing weapons for the resistance. So when I arrived and saw the massive amount of weapons they stored there, I wanted to go to the control room to download the blueprints for the building. I was on a bridge just above the control panel, where I wanted to jump down, but I got ambushed by two aliens with blasters. The blasters were models pretty similar to the weapon Chewbacca carries, not a bow, but a pistol. Since I can't freeze these shots I just stood still and threw my lightsaber on the floor as they demanded."

"Whoa you can't hold off Chewbacca's bowcaster?" one of the rebels yelled. "No. Can you? Or your ship?" Kylo smugly countered.  
The rebel turned red and ducked himself a little.

Kylo continued:  
"So one alien picked up my saber and inspected it. They seemed like they had never seen one before because the moment the opening pointed at its face he turned it on and his head was instantly pierced through by the laser. The other alien then tried to catch the lightsaber, as it slid out of the other one's hand and caught it, it landed on his wrists and cut both of his arms off. They were both dead in a second and my saber then fell down from the bridge directly on the control panel, where it melted itself into the surface successfully overheating the reactor which let the whole factory blow up several minutes after that. I was able to escape it the last second.  
So yes. These aliens killing themselves and as a consequence destroying the facility was the dumbest thing I have ever witnessed."

Everyone was silent, mouth agape until someone blurted: "What the hell? That's what happened on Eadu? You are talking about Eadu aren't you?"  
"Yes." Kylo answered a little puzzled.  
Now several people started laughing until Poe said: "Do you know what the First Order headlines were that day?  
It was: "Jedi Killer Kylo Ren burns down rebel's factory, launching an atomic fallout"  
Kylo just mouthed an: "Oh. I didn't read them. I hardly ever did. But its also plainly wrong, there was no atomic fallout afterwards."  
"That's what propaganda is for. We also found out several weeks later, there wasn't one. But we still to this day believed it was you who burned down the factory." Poe grinned at him while mimicking explosions with his hands.

Just when Kylo wanted to answer, C3PO stumbled over to them waving. When he reached the group he declared: "Kylo Ren. Former enemy of the resistance. I don't know if you can still recognize me, because of my red arm. My name is C..."  
Kylo interrupted him: "Threepio. We know each other since I was a child. I know who you are. What is it?"  
"Oh, you recognized me? You always had a brilliant mind! The generals of the resistance scheduled a meeting in approximately thirty minutes from now.  
They wanted you to join them, as well as mister Dameron as a substitute for General Organa."

"Where is General Organa Threepio?" Kylo asked a little suspicious.  
"Oh, she left for a political rendezvous two days ago." C3PO answered.  
"Nobody was informed of that. That's strange. But maybe they'll tell us? Come on!" Poe said as he stood up. Kylo nodded and glanced shortly over to Rey as the two men followed the droid to the palace.


	31. Chapter 31: Back then

When Poe and Kylo entered the palace, Kylo had a strange feeling about it as nobody had requested his presence since he fought the attack off on the last base.  
When they were just a few steps ahead of the palace the pilot mumbled: "I have a strange feeling about this." Kylo nodded at him, as he had thought exactly the same.

The generals waited in a circle around a big table until the two men were seated.  
"Greetings Kylo Ren. It's a pleasure to meet you. We are sorry for not coming to you earlier after your deed of..." one general started but was cut short by Kylo.  
"Why did you request my presence?" he pressed out between his lips.  
The generals looked at each other insecurely and then another one talked: "As you may have heard already, General Organa left the base two days ago."  
"We were informed five minutes ago." Poe tuned in reproachfully.  
"Yes yes. I am sorry the information reached you so late. She took off to spread the word about your defection from the First Order to other planets who are on the verge to support our cause. They might want to finance us if they see we have such a strong - I am sorry - _weapon_ \- as you are, on our side.  
We also plan on..." Kylo interrupted again as he stood up and smashed his hand flat on the table. "You talked her into doing this?" he yelled.

"Oh no no. It was her idea. She even laid out a full plan for the next..." now it was Poe who interrupted: "Are you serious?  
You want to produce propaganda with Kylo Ren the same way the First Order did? This is some bantha shit! We're not going to do this!"  
Kylo was a little surprised at the pilots outburst, but more so over angry at his mother for this.  
"So General Organa got the idea and now you wanted to ask me to make political statements about it, so you can use them?" Kylo asked angrily.  
"Uhm...yes. That is part of the whole idea. But there are several more things we'd..." One general started to explain.

Kylo suddenly stretched out his arm and force choked the general who talked last. "You are not going to publish any fucking thing from your plan.  
Are we fucking clear on that? I am not here to support your rebel scum shithole of an organisation. I am here to destroy Snoke and the First Order.  
I am not your damn superweapon!"

Poe watched the force users rage fit and then whispered: "Kylo its ok. I'll see to it. Nothing will be published. I'll contact Leia immediately."  
Kylo let the general down while everybody backed away in fear. Then he turned around and stormed out of the palace, Poe right behind him.  
When they let the big doors behind them Poe said to Kylo: "Do you think Leia would do something like that? I mean I can't imagine. Wouldn't she ask you first?"  
"No. She wouldn't." Kylo grimly answered.  
"Uh. Oh. Ok why do you think, she wouldn't?" Poe now asked interestedly.  
Kylo stood still for a second, then turned around to the pilot, eyeing him. "Let's just say she never asked before she decided things over my head which in the end were the worst possible decisions for everyone, especially for me."

"Ok, I won't dig any further. But do you also want to talk to her, when I contact her right now?" Poe asked.  
Kylo pondered for a moment, then nodded and together they boarded Poe's ship to use the communicator.  
It took some time, while Kylo drew circles with his finger on the control board as the pilot noticed. That's a strange gesture for someone who is so self-confident. Poe thought.

But then the communicator flickered up and Leia's face was there in the form of a hologram.  
"Good evening Poe. Oh, Ben. That's a surprise seeing you. I meant to talk to you right after the incident, but I was so busy. You know how it always is."  
she told them while smiling insecurely over to Kylo.

Poe cleared his throat and started: "So we just received information from the other generals about your leave and the plan to spread propaganda about Kylo's defection from the First Order. Is that correct?"

Leia's eyes shifted between the two men and she explained: "It's not propaganda. We're only telling the truth. It was a massive deed killing the general and the knights of Ren. People need to hear about this, so they know we have a chance and will start to support our cause."

Kylo now slid a trembling hand through his hair, while closing his eyes. When he opened them again, there was so much anger in them: "Leia! No! Mother! Are we doing the same thing again? Really? This is insane. I never wanted this back then, I don't want this now! I'll even say please. Will you _please_ not go around spreading this story?  
This is between me and Snoke!"

Leia stuttered now: "But...but Ben. Don't you see how much support we will get when we get this through? The First Order will be history then.  
So many will be on our side. Right now I am..."  
"NO! I said fucking NO! I even pleaded for it. Are you going to stop your negotiations now or not?" he interrupted her waiting angrily for a reply.  
"I...Ben I love you. You are my son, I only wish you the best...But if I get them to see what..." Kylo crashed his hand down on the communicator shutting it off, quitting their conversation with this.

Poe followed their communication, then his eyes shot to Kylo. "Wow. What the heck. This was really awful. What did you mean with _I never wanted it back then...?_ "  
Kylo looked at the pilot and clenched his fist. "Back then my mother proclaimed to the press that she was having a force sensitive child of whom she was so proud of, to become an honourable, strong Jedi someday, fighting for the resistance, bringing balance to the universe. That's how Snoke first heard of me and was able to contact me that early on."

Poe's eyes widened now as he counted one and one together: "She did fucking what? Shit. That's the hugest pile of bantha shit I have ever heard. Wow. So she is the reason Snoke was able to find you? Whoa. Ok, I have to let that sink in." Then he let himself slack back into his chair, rubbing his temples at this new information.

"Does Rey know?" he finally asked Kylo. "No. She doesn't. She thinks high of my mother."  
Poe nodded and said: "Yes everyone does that. But really man. You have to tell Rey this. I know she is more moaning than talking with you. You know the houses have pretty thin walls and all, but she really needs to know that."  
Kylo shot him a grim glance at his remark when the pilot pulled his hands up in defence and laughed: "Sorry bud, I was just kidding trying to cheer you up. I never heard you. Even if I did, I'd be happy for you."

Kylo growled at him and fumbled with his lightsaber a bit while leaving the ship.  
"I'm telling her later." He walked some more steps forward then added: "Thanks, Poe." then went back to their house, were Rey stood in the kitchen, looking desperate.

When he came in and saw her, he asked: "What's up Rey?"  
She turned around when she heard the door click open and she quickly placed herself in front of the kitchen, holding her arms at an awkward angle alongside the counter as if she was trying to hide something.  
He raised his eyebrows at that and walked over to see what she was doing. She held a spoon in her hand in defence and looked nervously at Kylo approaching. Just when he stood in front of her she blurted out totally agitated: "I thought maybe, when you come back, the meeting being shitty and you might want to eat something, so I thought,  
I'd cook and I looked into the cupboards and there was so much and I wondered where this all came from and then I looked at everything and realised I didn't know most of it and I tried to find out how to prepare the several ingredients, but they didn't make sense just for themselves, so I just tried to throw together what I thought fitted and I did _something._  
It's not good. It's really not good. Do not eat this."

He looked over her shoulder to see some brown mass in a pot on the stove, which just looked like bantha shit with sand.  
Then he grinned and tucked her head in a small kiss, turning her around to show her the mess she did.  
She let the spoon down and sighed fully ashamed: "Sorry."

He cradled her from behind and took the spoon from her hand to stick it in the mass where it just stayed upright they way he put it in.  
"Oh Wow." he mouthed wondering what the hell she brew together in the pot. "What exactly did you put in there? Tell me."  
"Uhm. Ok, so I found this thing. Sugar. It tasted a bit like the chocolate bar, so I thought it was good. I put half the package in it. I found rice, this, I also put in."  
"Did you cook the rice before you put it together with the sugar?" Kylo asked while he rocked their bodies slightly from left to right like he was dancing a little with her, mouth in the crook of her neck, while she explained herself.  
"No. Do you cook it beforehand? Fuck. I didn't know." she cursed out.  
"Ok keep on. What else?" he grinned into her neck.  
"I...You are making fun of me, aren't you? So I uhm I found this yellow fruit. Long yellow fruit."  
"A banana." Kylo interrupted. "Uhm. Yes, its a banana then. So I cut it into small pieces and put in there too."  
"You removed the peel before I guess?" he asked as he nearly couldn't hold himself anymore.  
"Nooooo. I thought if I cooked it, it get's soft like the other parts. But I cooked it for half an hour and the rice is still hard and the banana is disgusting and the sugar turned brown. I fucked up."  
He now bit into her shoulder a little, to not burst out laughing loud but at least let out a long snort which vibrated on her skin.  
She realised it and thought he was making fun of her and turned around with a pouting face, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

He just heaved her up onto the counter and before she was able to protest, he kissed her feverishly while she melted under his touch.  
Kylo felt really needy right now, which massively aroused her too, so she didn't waste much time and slid her trousers down and opened his pants just enough, so he'd have space for his already hard member to glide into her a second later. She was already wet for him and he grunted her name when he entered and fiercely pushed into her.  
She slid his legs around him and clawed herself on his back, while she kissed and moaned on his neck. He already had his hands under her shirt, massaging her nipples which made her even moister.

After a while, his pace slowed down a little and he pulled his hand away from her breast, pushing her full body down on the counter. She just lay there and looked at the ceiling, her legs dangling in the air, when he pulled out suddenly. Her head came up and she wanted to see what he was doing, but he just pressed her down again with a really wet kiss, telling her to stay like this.  
Then he moved out of her vision again, until she felt something really warm, soft and extremely wet on her clit. This could never be his fingers or his member.  
She just wanted to move her head again, when he sent a " _No_. _Just relax ok_?" through their bond.  
Rey did as she was told and tried to relax when she felt him move. No his...his tongue move. On her clit. Oh no she knew what he was doing now. The moment she wanted to protest was also the moment a long animalistic moan came from deep within her as he flicked his tongue up and down, making her hip arch up and sending shivers down her inner thighs.

It felt like a bliss and her body was already twitching in every direction while she just was able to pant out some "Oh's" or his name.  
When he even propped her legs up on the counter and his tongue found his way deep inside her, she was already on her way to orgasm.  
Really hard, in his face, with his tongue still in her. He moaned with her, his voice vibrating against her clit while doing so driving her even more crazy.

She grabbed his black hair and just screamed from the pleasure rolling over her whole body in blinding white waves. Just when her screams grew just slightly quieter he came up and trusted into her, which made her moan and tremble instantly again. _Is this ever going to stop feeling this epic?_ she wondered as her second wave of orgasm rolled over her, making him come too now as he leaned forward and bit into her neck while moaning her name.

When they were done he propped himself up on his elbows next to her and grinned widely. "I already had dinner right now. Sorry."  
She nudged him really hard. "I can't believe you are pulling this joke right now! For this, you really deserve to eat what I cooked for you! Unbelievable!"

He slipped up her shirt and kissed her belly, then mumbled: "I love you Rey. But I won't eat whatever unholy clot of 'what the hell' awaits in this pot."


	32. Chapter 32: Childhood

When they both were dressed again they just ate some bread and drank tea at their table in the living room, as the food Rey made was unedible.  
Rey asked him about the meeting and Kylo sighed as he had already blocked out, he still needed to talk about it, so he started to tell everything while she could  
feel how troubled he was.

"Poe and I were greeted by several generals, Leia wasn't there, as you already heard.  
She is at a political rendezvous meeting up with other generals trying to convince them of the resistances cause." he started to explain.

"Yeah, she often does that." Rey commented.

"I know. But this time she carried special news. She is telling them, I defected to work for the resistance.  
Not just that, she planned out a full propaganda campaign on my shoulders with the other generals, which they wanted to launch soon, but needed my ok and probably some material to fill it with content. The general said something along the lines as I quote: "They might want to finance us if they see we have such a strong weapon - as you are, on our side."  
Of course, I didn't agree with it, even Poe didn't. Right after the meeting, we confronted Leia.  
She insisted on travelling around spreading propaganda to the other star systems of the new superweapon the resistance acquired, which is coincidentally her son." he remarked sarcastically.

Rey's eyes widened in disbelief at that and her hand wandered to his, as she could feel his inner turmoil.  
Then he kept on talking: "The punchline for all of this is: She also did the same thing when I was a child. She told the press about me,  
her force sensitive child, training to become an honourable Jedi, fighting for the resistance cause later on bringing balance to the universe.  
Snoke noticed it, as it was of course spread everywhere in the media back then. That's how he was able to find and contact me the first time."

Rey gasped at this and held her hand in front of her mouth, as tears gathered in her eyes. "Oh, maker. Kylo. I...I didn't know. This is so horrible!  
Not just that she pretty much was the reason Snoke found you, but more so over that she is doing the same mistake again. How can she not see that?  
Why is everyone trying to exploit you like that? What do you do now?"

"She won't see this ever. It was always the resistance for her, before everything, or everyone else. Poe said he's going to stop the propaganda plans. I do not trust in him succeeding, I'm gonna kill the generals when they decide to go through with this." he answered while he dragged his fingernails alongside the wood of the table, trying to concentrate on this to not smash the furniture against the wall.

She took his hand away from the table into hers and her eyes drilled into his.  
"Ok Kylo. I'll say this once. You are not going to kill anyone from this base here! Not even these assholes of generals who see you as a superweapon. Let Poe do this.  
He is not just the best pilot, he is also perfectly capable of talking people into listening to him and reason with them. He's going to stop this. I am 100% sure of this.  
For Leia, I don't know. She is already on her way and I doubt we'd be able to convince her otherwise. The damage might already be done now. When Poe gets the generals to stop their plans, Leia must oblige them, as she can't decide everything on her own. So this will stop her in the end.  
Do you hear me? We got this. No killing. We will help you. Poe will do this. You are not alone, we got you ok?"

Kylo glanced at her for several seconds and she felt his angry energy radiating all over the place, for a moment she thought he's going to ignite his saber and destroy the house. He slowly closed his eyes and his hand began to tremble slightly. So she took it in both hands now and kissed it, whispering: "Kylo, please. We're doing this together.  
I know you were on your own for the most part of your life. You are not anymore. We will protect you, even if you think you don't need it. Heck, Poe told me he likes you, even Finn said you're not the worst guy in the galaxy. They know you are the most important person to me. Please have some trust in Poe, his words weight a lot to the generals, so please don't pull a full Kylo Ren on this, slaughtering them."

He finally opened his eyes and confessed: "Rey, it is really hard to not dwell too deep into the dark side at times. I...I'll try not to.  
Even more, trusting other people is beyond my abilities. But I'll listen to your words. For now at least."  
She stood up now and walked over to him to sit in his lap. He was still tense, but let her. She held his face and placed her forehead against his mumbling reassuring words to him. She knew this situation is riling him up a lot. But there must be much more behind this, reaching far back in time to his childhood and to certain events which happened then.

She suddenly stood up and pressed her fists into her sides, standing in front of him with a grin. "We're going out for a stroll." she exclaimed.  
"What? Right now?" he asked a little perplexed.  
"Yup right now. And then you'll talk. A lot. I want to hear everything. From the beginning to the end. Everything you remember." she affirmed.  
"This sounds like some damn therapy session to me." he looked at her with grim eyes.  
"Yeah, something like that. But I'm no therapist. Just your girlfriend deserving to know your backstory, trying to understand you and finding a way to support each other."  
she answered.

"I like that." he stated.  
"What?" she asked.  
"The girlfriend part. And the support each other part." he added.  
"Seriously. Kylo. Come on. We'll take some wine with us and you can drunkenly tell me every miserable thing that's ever happened to you."  
"That sounds really dumb." he grimaced.  
"Yeah, it's so cliché I know. But let's do this!" she laughed and pulled at his arm.

Eventually, after she put on a lot of time persuading him, they left the house with one wine bottle each, walking over to the training ground and somewhere into the woods.  
"So are you going to start? Or do you need some wine? Actually, mine tastes pretty good, it's a really sweet one." she commented.  
"I don't know. No. I don't. Fuck this. It's bantha shit!" he threw his hands up in frustration.  
"You can't be frustrated already, you didn't even start!" she laughed.  
"I don't know where to start." he glanced at her, turning the wine bottle in his hands.

"Hmm ok. When was the first time, you knew you were able to use the force?" she asked.  
He pondered for a moment and answered: "When I was four."  
She nodded: "Aaaand?"  
"And what?" he asked.

She sighed a little and said: "Aaand what happened that made you realise it?"  
"I snapped the neck of two space pirates who ambushed Leia and Han when we were fleeing from Chandrila." he stated.  
Her eyes widened and she gasped.  
 _He already killed others when he was just four years old?_

She took a big gulp from her bottle and tried to look calm. "Ok. So why did you flee? What happened?"

So Kylo Ren told her. Everything.  
She always asked or commented things he told her, so he would be more detailed.  
At the beginning, it was hard as he often didn't get what she wanted to know about certain situations, but as time went on his narrative became more fluently as they went through different phases of his childhood and later years. They also drank wine the whole time, while they laughed sometimes about how barbaric it was to drink wine directly from the bottle and how he needed a couch to lie on, so it would feel more like some therapeutic session.

After hours of talking it was clear he killed the space pirates because his family on the verge of being shot down, so his instincts kicked in and he unknowingly killed them with the force, while Leia tried to protect him with her body.

After that incident, the relationship between him and his parents changed as Han and Leia now knew he was force sensitive, not just that but also really strong already.  
So they were overwhelmed with his ability and decided to let him explore it for himself, as they couldn't teach it to him while trying to not be around when he used it.  
They were clearly scared and didn't know to which extent he was able to use his power already.

They were arguing a lot, as Han wanted to send him to Luke's Jedi academy at his young age, while Leia wanted to keep him home because she hoped Kylo,  
back then Ben would, like she did, not reach further into the force but pursue a political career and just keep being force sensitive but not become a force user.  
His parents kept arguing about it so much, one day the split up and Han just went away, leaving Leia with Ben alone.

When it was obvious after some time his powers developed much stronger, while he was home alone frustrated, destroying the droids who were always watching him, because Leia was pretty much never home, his mother finally decided to embrace his powers, letting him train them in the backyard, while she sometimes watched,  
as she thought she could control them easier that way.  
When she was able to see back then how much he was already able to do with just eight years she decided to use this for their cause, as she started the propaganda campaign for the resistance of having a child prodigy in their own rows, who will become a strong Jedi someday.

Soon after that, it was the first time Kylo heard a voice in his head. Snoke had contacted him. He taught him things about the force, about anger and hate, how dwelling on these emotions would help him using his power and how there are others like him. Ben listened to him back then as he was the only one who seemed to know so many answers to his questions.  
After some time the voice would be all around him, the whole time. He couldn't distinguish between his own thoughts and Snoke's anymore.  
He got angry most of the time or had headaches and tried to block him off. which sometimes worked when he was calm, but everytime something happened which slightly angered him or let him feel sad the voice came back and urged him to dwell on his emotions.

Then came the day Leia wanted to drag him to some press event, where he should tell people about his powers and his training.  
They fought over it, as he didn't want to do it. Snoke's voice became louder and louder in his head until Ben couldn't hear anything else anymore.  
Snoke told him to hurt his mother, so she would finally learn and not exploit him for his power anymore. After it became too much to bear he reached his hand out and force choked Leia for some seconds, which took her by surprise.

The moment Ben understood what he was doing, he instantly stopped and ran out of the house to a nearby cliff, while the voice in his head was screaming at him to finish his mother. He tried to jump to death but was saved by Leia the last second, before falling down, as she had followed him.

She couldn't handle this anymore and decided on this very day to bring him to Luke's academy and to end the propaganda that she had surrounded him with the last years.  
When Ben started to train under Luke he felt slightly better, even if he felt guilty for hurting his mother and knew he was the reason his parents split up in the first place.  
But Luke was the first to guide him, understand his powers and teach him how to use the force correctly.

Of course, he didn't live happily ever after, as Luke had to scold him often for using the dark side of the force as Ben always felt much more drawn to it, than to the light side.  
As Ben grew older and was already much stronger than all the other pupils at the academy, he and Luke fought often, as Ben wasn't able anymore to use the light side the way Luke wanted him to, but mostly used the dark side for everything. That's when Luke tried to forbid him using his power at all as he felt it getting dangerous.

He was damned to train his mind and read about Jedi lore for weeks. When he wasn't distracted anymore with training together with the other pupils, Snoke's voice came back in massively big steps. Telling him that Luke let him down too and that he, the Supreme Leader was the only one who would ever appreciate his raw power and that he would never deny him to use it.

The moment Kylo agreed to go with him, was also the moment he had the most gaps in his memory, as Snoke took over his mind easily and used his body to destroy the temple and kill off all the other pupils in it. Luke was on the other side of the island at that moment, so he needed some time to come over and just found the burned ruins of his academy, Ben standing in between the destroyed buildings and corpses lying all around.  
Luke attacked him instantly and they fought for some time, as Ben was easily overpowered.  
At some time Ben's own mind came back and he just now saw what he did, so he pleaded for Luke to kill him this instant.

Luke didn't have the heart to do it, so he just left, leaving Ben standing between the burning ashes of the former academy.  
That's when a shuttle arrived and took the absolutely traumatized boy in, bringing him to Snoke. He was thirteen years old back then.

Thus his training and brainwashing began as he became the apprentice of Snoke, sworn to live in the shadows and learn the power of the dark side.


	33. Chapter 33: Mother

When Kylo was done with the whole story, Rey's bottle was empty and his was still half full, so he handed over his wine and she also drank it while she cried every other time.  
He was totally unemotional about everything and just told it like he was telling her boring facts about spaceships. Just at the part of him killing the pupils at the temple,  
he paused sometimes, as he tried to remember everything.

She now understood why his connection to his parents was utterly troubled but at the same time why he bowed down in front of Luke in fear of being rejected again.  
He didn't have enough time or support to develop feelings for his parents as they pretty much weren't there the whole time in his childhood.  
But Luke was and also understood parts of him, which his parents didn't, even when his uncle also failed him in the end.  
She couldn't blame his feelings but also understood he had some deeply rooted compassion for them, somewhere still buried in his heart.  
Even when they made a mess out of their child, he cared for them on some base and his biggest fear was for Leia and Luke to be killed by Snoke's hands now.

They were gone for about four hours as they talked through all of this. When he was done with the story, just then they realised they went really far away from the base and they were equally exhausted from the day. It was the middle of the night already and they decided to just stay outside and sleep somewhere, as it wasn't their first time they slept outside. While searching for a place to stay they found a big pond with an old small pier made out of wood swimming on top of it. They decided to just lay down there and watch the stars next to each other until Rey snuggled herself into his chest. Luckily it was a really warm night outside, so they weren't cold at all when they fell asleep.

Funnily Kylo didn't feel relieved or better by telling her about his childhood as she predicted before, but she on the other side felt so close to him like she has never done before, finally understanding so much about him, it was like revelation and she could feel their bond humming in a soft rhythm the whole time.

When they woke up the next morning, they felt awful as it wasn't the best idea to sleep on some hard woody pier.  
So when Rey started to complain about her back pain, he just picked her up and threw her into the water, smirking at her while she was insulting him in the worst way possible. She instantly jumped out and attacked him, trying to get him into the water too.

While they struggled, he was stronger and she was on the verge to be thrown into the pond again, so she tried to fight with some unfair means to bring him down.  
Which meant she was filling his head with the most explicit images she could bring up with things he had never dreamed of before with her.  
He staggered for a moment as he was dumbfounded by all these things he saw, which was also the moment she directly pushed him with both hands from the pier,  
where he fell down backwards into the water.  
When he came up again, she was now the one who laughed maniacally while punching a fist in the air, feeling like she was the one who defeated the famous Kylo Ren.  
He was scolding her for playing unfair and asked when they will try out all these things she showed him. She turned red and hoped they would do soon.

They decided to not go back into the water, as it was colder than expected.  
Now they both had back pain and felt cold. _Just_ _Great._ Rey thought sarcastically.  
When Kylo reached out with the force and realised they weren't as far away as they thought last night, but just a one-hour footwalk as they just walked a big arch,  
he ignited saber and dared her to fight him through the forest as training and as a way to get warmer again. Also, it was a nice change of scenery.

She just smirked at that: "Oh I already have lots of experience fighting off lightsaber wielding guys through the forest.  
Did I tell you about that one time I won against this handsome darkly dressed man in the snow? By maker I instantly fell in love with him."

His eyes changed to something serious and he slowly walked over, standing right in front of her, faces just centimetres apart as he held his saber up to illuminate both of them, lights flickering on her skin. She could feel his breath as he whispered:  
"Yes, I heard of that story. First person actually. I might give this sweet scavenger a ten second advance, so she could try her luck again." then he smirked in a mischievous way and swirled his saber next to his body while backing off some steps, waiting for her to start running.

As she was still thrilled by his little threat, but more in an arousing way than in a fearsome one, she understood that he meant this serious and her training is beginning at this second. So she nodded and ran away as fast as her legs would carry her, jumping over trees and bushes while doing so.

She just heard through their bond " _ten_ " as she knew he was approaching now. She looked over her shoulder but didn't see him anymore.  
So she just ran further, hoping she had gained enough distance for him to not catch up. She kept running for ten minutes straight until she got a little slower and finally rested for some seconds, breathing heavily as she leaned on a tree. Rey looked all around her and still didn't see him.

So she was pretty sure she had outrun him already and he probably lost her. While she was holding her aching sides, she grinned triumphantly and started to giggle a little bit. But then something small landed on her head and then in front of her feet. It was a nut.  
She looked up to the tree above her and nearly died from shock as Kylo was sitting on a branch throwing another hazelnut at her head. She let out a screeching sound and stumbled backwards.  
"WHAT THE FUCK? Kylo? The hell! How the? What?" she yelled at him.

"You mean where I got these hazelnuts from? It's a hazelnut tree obviously." he boldly stated.  
"No the hell. You know what I mean! How the heck are you here? I didn't hear or see you anywhere. I was hundred percent sure I lost you." she blurted out.  
"I know. You didn't use the force to look out for me. Sometimes listening or looking for someone isn't enough." he grinned at her. "Look we can eat hazelnuts later!"  
He pulled out a handful from his cape.  
She looked at him in disbelief. "You really also had the time and nerve to go pick up nuts while chasing me? Wow, I must have been incredibly slow then." she leaned herself frustrated against the tree.

"Nah. You weren't. When I found the first tree where I picked them, I let you out of my sight for some seconds and then I followed your trail again you were so far away already, I really had to run then. Your mistake was taking a break. I wouldn't have been able to catch up to you again if you hadn't stopped." he reassured her.

"But you know, you are still taking a break. Let's change that." he smirked and ignited his lightsaber again, as he jumped down the branch and attacked her.  
She ignited her saber too and parried his blows backing off into the woods, trying to find an opening in his attacks. They swirled around the trees, using them as protection from their attacks and cut through branches while doing so.  
It felt similar to the fight on Starkiller base, but without snow and without the intent to kill each other.

They fought like this for several minutes. Rey felt a little bit more secure than she did yesterday on the open field, as she was able to use her environment to her advantage.  
Sometimes they crossed their sabers in front of each other and she could see the fire reflecting in his eyes as he watched her with admiration.  
She was even able after some time to press him back into a tree which made her grin slightly while doing so. But he got out a second later and instantly crashed her down, saber next to her neck. So her triumph just lasted for about two seconds.  
He turned off his weapon and put it on his belt, reaching a hand out to her. She took it and stood up while he had a small smile playing on his lips.  
"Rey I'm really impressed. You did use your environment in a way it suited your fighting style." he complimented her.

"Yeah, it felt better like this. Yesterday I didn't know where to hide from your attacks, there was nothing to bring between you and me, except for my saber.  
Thanks for the compliment actually." she smiled at him.  
"Let's head back ok? Without fighting. On our way, I'll tell you how to scan your surroundings through the force while being in a fight."  
She nodded and also turned off her saber, putting it back. They walked together as he told her a lot about how to use the force for this, while she instantly tried everything he just explained to her. After some time she was able to feel every small animal around her while walking, which felt really overwhelming.

They reached their training ground again, where Kylo told her he is going to search for Poe, as he needs the answer to what the generals finally decided about the propaganda material. Rey nodded and gave him a glare that said: _I'll kill you if you kill them!_ He just shrugged his shoulders and went to the palace as he felt Poe's presence there.  
The pilot sat in the planning room, going through several media articles on a big screen. When he saw Kylo approaching, he leaned back in his chair and turned around motioning him to sit next to him.

Kylo sat down and greeted him with a nod, asking: "So, any news?"  
"Jup. These asshats of generals won't distribute any of the material they produced. If you'd know what they already planned in advance, man you would have beheaded them right away. So really, for their sake I won't tell you that.  
I watched them as they destroyed the already produced material and we made an agreement for the resistance not inventing anything new which revolves around you or your defection."

Kylo's eyes widened, as he hadn't believed the pilot was able to talk them into that. "Wow. That's actually great news. What about Leia?"  
Poe now nervously looked back and forth between his screen and the man next to him. "Yeah, that's something else. The generals and I had a really long and difficult discussion about that. The resistance needs money right now. Leia is trying to archive that. So of course it is important for them to have other systems supporting the cause. It was hard to get it through but we found an agreement. Actually, she was planning a much longer tour all around the galaxy, but today she is on her way to Cantonica.

"The planet with this insanely big casino?" Kylo asked with a raised eyebrow.  
"Yeah exactly. The generals know this is a really big chance as there is a lot of money, so they pressed on for her to take this meeting and maybe get them to support us.  
I agreed to this. But demanded this planet to be the last station on her travel and for Leia to come back afterwards." Poe explained as he hoped to not get force choked.

Kylo leaned back in his chair and folded his hands together, thinking for a moment, before answering.  
"Ok. I can live with that. The damage is already there. As long as she agrees to stop her further planned journey. What did she say?"

"Uhm yeah about that. I tried to contact her to tell her about our agreement. But she didn't answer since yesterday evening. She might still be negotiating and didn't have time. Or fell into gambling. Who knows?" Poe guessed.

"Since yesterday? But doesn't she read her messages in the morning at least? Or have her communicator with her, so it's signalled? I don't think you guys do it any differently as we did in the First Order, where every general was reachable twenty four - seven. Or do you?" he asked as a he felt this to be a little strange.

Poe rubbed his eyebrows and answered: "Yes yes they are. Every general has a communicator with them. They get messages at three a.m. and have to answer it in an instant. Normally they do. Of course, there could be a dysfunction of the devices or as I said, she is too occupied."

Kylo closed his eyes to feel for her force signature. It was there. So she was alive at least. But as he didn't have a force bond with her, like he had with Rey, he couldn't communicate, or feel how or where she is.

Then his eyes wandered to the pilot again, stating: "This is uncommon. Isn't it?"  
Poe nodded over to the screen, he was reading media articles on. "Know this guy?"  
Kylo moved over and looked at a picture of an older man which was placed between a long article about the casino. "No."  
"Ok, then I'll explain. Leia is scheduled to meet this guy today. He is an old friend of her actually. But he never wanted to be part of this war, so he stayed out of it the whole time, without taking sides." Then Poe clicked around a little and now had a picture of two men shaking hands, sitting on a veranda of a hotel. It didn't look like an official press photo, but more like it was shot in secret.  
"You know this guy?" Poe asked as he zoomed into the picture.  
Kylo eyes widened now: "What the hell? This is Hux!"

"Jup. The now headless one. This picture is actually pretty old. About seven years now. Over the last years we built a huge database of information about the First Order, including pictures of secret meetings and so on. I am sure your former "employer" did this too."  
Kylo nodded. "Of course."  
"Nobody realised back then it's the same dude who is friends with Leia. So yeah. There was a time several years ago, where he probably worked together with the First Order. It's a long shot. Really. But I don't trust this dude at all."

Kylo leaned back in his chair and grunted in frustration, running a hand through his hair. "Well shit. I'm absolutely with you on that. What's the plan?"  
"I didn't tell the other generals yet as I wanted to ask you first if you know this guy. My plan would be, to wait until this evening if she might answer altogether, if she doesn't, we inform the generals about it and next morning fly over with some of our ships and get her. "

"So you say she might still answer because you think this guy might be legit? Even if there's pictured evidence, he isn't?" Kylo asked a little angry.  
"I don't say, I think this guy is legit. Not at all. But let's face it, I bet the First Order also has intel about him meeting up with Leia over the last years, making it look like he is working with us. I just don't have enough evidence right now, at this hour, to launch a search mission instantly. Her last communication with us was sixteen hours ago. So it's not that long, but longer than usual." Poe answered honestly.

Kylo sighed and laid out both his palms flat on the table, pondering about everything. "I have the worst feeling about this."  
Poe nodded and turned the monitor off. "Me too."


	34. Chapter 34: Falcon

After their conversation, Poe and Kylo arranged to meet again in the evening, as the pilot promised to come to their house to either tell him that Leia answered,  
or that he talked to the generals about her not reacting to the messages. It still felt strange to Kylo to think of "their" house, but for now it was.

So when Kylo walked back to the house, Rey was sitting outside with Finn, chattering happily while she motioned fighting moves with her hands.  
Kylo placed himself in front of the two and interrupted: "Rey...Finn I am sorry to disturb you. We have to talk right now."  
Finn looked a little unnerved but both nodded.  
So Kylo sat down and repeated everything what Poe and he just found out, also telling about the generals who stopped the propaganda campaign,  
thus resulting in Poe contacting Leia and finding out, that she doesn't answer the calls and this shady friend of hers, until Finn blurted out: "This really, really doesn't sound good. When are we gonna do something about it?"

Kylo nodded and answered: "Poe will come over in the evening and tell us what the plan will be."  
Rey glanced at Kylo and brushed his arm while she sighed. "Ok, so we'll just stay here and wait for him I guess. Not being able to do something feels so strange."

They sat in front of the house and talked about what may have happened or what could eventually happen. Finn and Kylo even exchanged a constructive conversation without hating each other. At some point Kylo suddenly apologized to Finn for slashing his back on Starkiller Base. Finn looked bewildered at him and nodded, accepting his apology.  
Both men raised their hands and shook them while Rey nearly jumped up from joy, hugging them both afterwards.  
After some time Kylo pulled out the hazelnuts he still had in his pocket and gave some to Rey and also offered them Finn, which he took and commented that he never ate some before.  
Finn asked where he got them from and Rey told him how he found the nuts while they were training in the forest this morning.  
Then she continued to tell him about the difference in her training this day, to which he interestedly listened.

Kylo zoomed out a bit of the conversation as he felt a headache coming up. He didn't pay too much attention to it first and just rubbed his temples, but after some time felt the reason behind the pain hammering against the back of his head. He instantly was trying to block it but already started to have visions. It was Snoke penetrating his mind restlessly.

Kylo's eyes widened as he realized he had no chance to block him out and turned his head instantly to Rey, interrupting her chattering with Finn. "Rey! It's Snoke. Do it!" he told her, as he grabbed her knee in a slight panic. "Shit!" she uttered the moment her hands flew up to his face and instantly let the force flow through him, but a little too abrupt in her own panic, so he groaned up in pain before he fell down in front of her.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she muttered as she turned him around slightly and brushed his hair back, resting his head in her lap like she did when they trained for this situation.

Finn had backed off some metres at this scene and he yelled: "What the hell? Rey what happened? What was that with Snoke?"  
"Oh maker. Snoke tried to pry into his mind right now. I rendered him unconscious to avoid it. We trained for this these last days, but it happened so fast this time!  
I hope I was also fast enough. This is a whole new situation. First Leia, than this? This is no coincidence, Finn!" Rey sputtered out and looked at him with worry in her eyes.

"This is crazy! What if Snoke now knows where the new base is? What do we do then?" Finn asked in a panicked voice.  
"I don't know Finn! We have to wait until Kylo wakes up. He can tell us if Snoke was able to see anything." she pressed out, as her eyes started to water a little.  
Just at this moment, Poe came down from the palace, his face was white like he had seen a ghost.

Finn and Rey saw this and muttered: "Oh no, this is not good." When the pilot reached them he looked over to the unconscious Kylo, blinked and asked: "What happened to him?" "Snoke attacked him. I put him to force sleep to avoid any information leaking out through his mind." she explained. "Poe, tell us what's going on!"

Poe gulped down and sat down next to the others, watching the unmoving body of Kylo Ren in Rey's lap. "Leia didn't answer. I told the generals. We tried to track her ship. It's gone. Either the whole ship or the beacon.  
We couldn't find it anymore. Then we got news of the friend she was supposed to meet. He was found fucking dead today!  
These two events belong together don't they?" Poe asked while he looked back and forth between Finn, Rey and the unconscious Kylo.  
Rey just muttered swear words, while desperately stroking over Kylo's face, as if it would help to faster wake him up.

"What are the plans of our generals?" Finn asked Poe nervously. "They want to send several ships over to Cantonica in about two hours. In fifteen minutes there's an emergency meeting at the cantina for everyone to spread the information and pick out the pilots." Poe explained.  
"Alright, we have to go there right now!" Finn stated and jumped up. "But what about Kylo? We can't let him lie around here. Or even let him be on his own right now!" Rey complained. "What if he wakes up and Snoke attacks him right away again? I have to be close to hinder him."

Poe glanced between the two force users back and forth and then just tried to pick Kylo up to carry him. "He is really heavy Poe." Rey plainly stated as she watched Poe's fruitless tries.  
"Yes thank you Rey, I also just realised that." Poe huffed out sarcastically. "Wait a second." He typed something into his comlink and several seconds later Chewie showed up and ran into their direction while roaring.  
"Chewie can you help us pick up that big guy? We need him in the cantina right now." Chewie bellowed and nodded as he picked up Kylo and just swung him over his shoulder. " _Little Ben is so much bigger since the last time I carried him!"_ Chewbacca roared while they were walking over to the palace.

When they entered, most of the other rebels were already there, as well as the generals, waiting for everyone to arrive. It was loud as everyone was chattering and asking questions about what this is all about. But the room went quiet as Chewbacca and the others came in, with the unconscious Kylo Ren on his shoulders.  
Chewie just let him drop really ungracefully onto a table, where he lay sprawled on his back for which Rey scolded the wookie. The generals just looked dumbfounded at the group until one of them asked:  
"What is this about? Is he dead?"

Reys face distorted in anger, as she yelled: "No! Of course not. I put him to force sleep several minutes ago, Snoke was attacking his mind.  
I guess he'll wake up any second now."

The generals looked shocked until someone cleared his throat: "Did Snoke find out where our base is?"  
"I don't know. We worked really fast when we knew it was him. I don't know if Snoke had enough time to find anything out yet. Just Kylo can tell when he wakes up."  
Rey answered, while she sat next to Kylo's unmoving body and put a hand on his arm.

The generals nodded and decided to start the meeting then. Informing everyone about the most recent events. After about half an hour when they started to pick the pilots, who'd fly the missions Rey could feel Kylo tense under her palm and she looked at him, expecting to wake up now. He did, as he shot up into a seating position with a shocked expression on his face and before he said anything he reached his arm out to Poe and mind probed him, while the pilot grunted as he struggled not knowing why he did that.

The cantina first went silent at this and then some rebels drew their weapons, as it looked like Poe was being attacked.  
Rey just screamed at him as she didn't know why he was doing this and tried to push down his arm.  
It just lasted about five seconds, when Kylo dropped his arm as he was done and Poe slipped back into his seat looking shocked at the force user.  
Kylo just yelled a loud: "Fuck!" while he jumped up from the table and instantly stalked over to the generals as some weapons were still pointing at him and then turned around to face the other rebels.

One general was now threatening him: "Kylo Ren, you are attacking our..." but was instantly interrupted:  
"Shut your damn mouths!  
Snoke knows where the base is. He has General Organa since this morning, probably already tortured her and mind probed her into giving out the coordinates.  
The finalizer will be on its way already. At this second everyone needs to gear up and prepare for battle. Snoke will come, there is no way to flee from this."  
Kylo yelled out between gritted teeth as he slashed away all the weapons of the generals which were pointing at him with the force.

A murmur went through the crowd, which grew into wild, panicked chattering, even the generals were arguing with each other now.  
Kylo went back to the group of Rey and the others and put a hand on Poe's shoulder:  
"Sorry I didn't ask. I needed to see what happened the last minutes I was out to be sure Snoke isn't feeding me fake images. But everything fits together."  
"Apology accepted. Let's get ready to save your mother!" Poe just nodded at him and stood up.

The generals decided to trust Kylo Ren on this one and ordered everyone to instantly board their X-wings.  
Kylo and the others also ran outside, Rey next to him as she yelled: "Which ship? Yours?"  
Kylo looked at her, while they ran and answered shortly: "No the Falcon."  
Her eyes widened: "But I thought, you didn't want it to board again?"  
"The force leads me to it right now. I trust on this." he stated.

She nodded and they ran over to the Falcon but just before they boarded he made a short run to his ship and got his helmet, which he instantly put on.  
When they went inside, Kylo hesitated for a moment before he sat down in the pilot's chair, but took the controls after a second, as Rey seated herself in the copilot's chair.  
When the Falcon lifted itself in the air, Rey asked: "Why did you bring your helmet?"  
He looked at her through his visor and answered: "I actually never answered you why I always wear this in battle, didn't I? Except for holding off most nerve gases it also simply contains drugs. Painkillers, adrenaline and amphetamine."

She looked in disbelief at him: "What the hell? Are you shitting me?"  
"No. If I got wounded or should not sleep it saved my ass several times. This often was a game changer actually." his metallic voice answered.

"I don't like that at all. But we'll discuss this after we got your mother back. And killed Snoke. Or whatever happens today." she answered while concentrating on the controls.  
Their communication was beeping and then Poe's voice came up: "Black leader to all X-Wings. Take off right now, we got a massive ship on our radar."

"They are here!" Rey gasped as she readied the canons of the Falcon.  
They flew higher through the atmosphere into the direction of the approaching ship, but couldn't see it at this moment.  
Another voice came through the comm: "Red squadron here. We have a visual. It's not the Finalizer. It's much bigger."  
Now Kylo pressed on the communicator to speak: "Falcon here. Then it's the Supremacy. Snoke is here himself. This is the worst-case scenario. This ship is impenetrable!"

"Black Leader to Falcon. Kylo you fly the Falcon? Is Rey with you?"  
"Falcon here. Yes I am. And yes he is." she answered.  
"Black Leader to all. We'll try to attack the canons first."

"That won't work." Kylo just stated as he flew in the direction of the Supremacy which now came in sight. There were several X-Wings already flying around shooting at the canons from every direction while avoiding being shot by the beams themselves.

The other ships tried this for some time when one after the other commented on not dealing any damage at all and asking for new orders.  
Rey was getting nervous from their fruitless tries, but saw an opening in front of the ship. The hangar where all the TIE fighters are parked.  
"Kylo what, if we just fly in there?" she asked while she looked through the window.  
"Then we'd fly against their energy shield and die instantly as the ship would smash into thousand pieces." he answered plainly.

"Yes I know. But doesn't the shield sense the energy from other ships and then ward them off?" she pondered.  
"Yes. What's your point?" he asked as he glanced at her.  
"When a ship doesn't radiate any more electricity and is big enough, the energy shield will sense it much later and the Falcon might be able to penetrate it with its massive size in comparison to the X-Wings." she answered while sweat pearls collected on her forehead.  
Kylo now understood where she was getting at.  
"So you are saying we are going to turn the energy of the Falcon off and smash it directly against the energy shield, in hope to not get crushed to death, but to penetrate it?" he asked her.  
She nodded at this. "It's our only chance I see right now."

He laid his gloved hand on hers and said: "The probability of us being killed by this are extremely high. We'd fly through open space then after the ship is smashed into bits.  
We then have about one and a half minute in space until we freeze to death. We have to reach the hangar in this amount of time. It's insane. But I'm in."

They looked at each other, even if Rey couldn't see his face, she felt his energy flowing through her.  
"Then let's get killed! Either its now or several minutes later. Doesn't matter, at least we tried." she exclaimed as she squeezed his fingers together.

"You are crazy Rey." Kylo said as he made a loop backwards with the Falcon and flew away from the Supremacy to take a run-up so they'd have the highest possible speed when they crash into it. "Yes, that's why we fit so well." Rey said while put on a flight helmet to have at least some protection for her head.

"Black leader to falcon. Where are you going?" they heard Poe's voice a little worried.  
Rey answered: "See you on the other side Poe. I love you guys."  
They heard now several pilots chattering through the comm, asking what this is about. Finn and Poe sounded panicked as they asked her, what it meant.

Then Kylo directed the Falcon on full speed into the direction of the Supremacy. He stood up and turned the main source of energy out, all the communication went quiet also the lights went out, as the ship still bolted in the direction of the First Order ship from the movement it had already gained.

"Chewie will be so pissed." Kylo commented as he took Rey's hand.

Rey also jumped up and they both decided to go to the farthest end of the Falcon, as this would be the part, which would be the last to get in contact with the energy shield.  
They pressed themselves with their backs against the wall and waited for the ship to crash.

Kylo took grabbed her shoulders softly and whispered: "Rey, if we probably wouldn't die any second, I would have someday asked you to marry me."


	35. Chapter 35: Adrenaline

"Rey, if we probably wouldn't die any second, I would have asked you someday in the future to marry me."

Rey just had enough time to turn her head in his direction as she heard it, but there wasn't any more time to answer as the ship crashed down right at this moment into the energy shield of the Supremacy.  
Everything started to massively shake and they had trouble to keep standing on the floor, so they gripped the walls and each other desperately. They heard explosions until they saw the walls being ripped open in front of them. Rey's heart beat so fast in her chest, she knew this was probably their death right now and she regretted every second of it already, wishing she could have just some more time with Kylo and her friends. No, actually she didn't want just some more time, she wanted a lot more time which mean not dying right now. Just when the crumbling walls and explosions came closer, Kylo positioned himself in front of her, one hand above his head holding onto a metal pole on the ceiling to steady himself and leaned his helmet against hers, his breathing sounded uneven through his mask, as he shielded her with his body, waiting to be crushed by flying ship parts any second. She could feel his fear when she pressed her hands to his chest to feel his heartbeat, which was as fast as hers.  
They both closed their eyes in silence as the explosions became unbearably loud behind their bodies.

The other pilots watched the Millenium Falcon crash down on the energy shield of the Supremacy. Finn screamed through the comm channel in panic, asking over and over what was happening, as Poe just whimpered, calling for the Falcon to answer, while he saw that they'd never answer again as the ship was being blown to tiny bits right now. Everyone was now talking over the channel simultaneously in total bewilderment as nobody understood why the two force users did what just occurred before the rebels eyes.

Poe and Finn were the first to go after the Falcon to see what remained of the ship and more importantly the occupants. About threequarters of it was destroyed, metal parts were flying all around, while small explosions occurred around the wreckage, but it seemed like it had partly penetrated the shield.  
"Black leader to all. The Millenium Falcon just crashed onto the energy shield. There is no sign of the two occupants." 

Rey felt her hands gripping something. It felt like something she knew. _Gripping on something means, not being dead._ She thought.  
When she opened her eyes she saw what she was gripping. Her hands were still on Kylo's chest and she had grabbed the fabric of his shirt.  
They were floating. His head with the mask on was bobbing from the left to the right as if he wasn't there right now.  
She tried to contact him through their bond, as she felt he was still alive but she didn't get an answer, as he was probably unconscious.  
One and a half minute is what she has left now. Probably less, as she already needed several seconds to realize she was indeed not dead.  
She grabbed onto Kylo hard and pushed as much as she was able with her feet against the remaining parts of the Falcon right behind them, trying to channel force into the jump, even if she never did this before. It worked but not as much as she wanted it to be.

She already felt her fingers getting stiff from the coldness of space and she counted every second now. They were slowly floating in the direction of the hangar,  
but it was still about fifty metres away. They would never reach it in time.  
So she tried to use the force to push them further, which just didn't work well enough as she wasn't trained in this by now.  
Rey looked desperately down to Kylo, who still felt unmoving under her iron grip.

Poe Dameron saw two figures floating away from the wreckage of the Falcon. At first, he thought it were the corpses of Rey and Kylo, but when he saw Rey moving,  
pushing away from the ship, he knew at least she was alive - for now.  
"Black Leader to all - its's Rey! She is alive! She is alive! But she's floating through space right now. She just has several seconds before she freezes. Fuck!" he yelled into the micro.

While Rey kept on trying to concentrate on the force, somehow pulling her to the hangar or anything at all, she finally felt Kylo move under her already frozen hand.  
He pulled up his arms and turned his head behind his back, instantly reaching out a hand to use the force in the direction of the hangar.  
Several TIE fighters started to slide with a screeching sound on the floor and left the hangar, coming closer to Rey and Kylo. There were already stormtroopers awaiting them, jumping out if the way of the TIE fighters and readying the weapons in their direction.

"Black leader to all - Kylo is alive too! He's moving TIE-Fighters from the hangar right now. Maker make them survive this!"  
Poe informed all, as several X-Wings circled them, while also evading the blasts from the Supremacy's canons.

When the first TIE-Fighter was within reach, Kylo ripped on Rey's arm and hurled her onto it, following closely. She instantly got a grip on the metal,and reached her hand out to him, so he wouldn't float away. When he got it the last second, she pulled him onto the surface of the fighter and he force pushed them with all his might in the direction of the hangar. They had to use two other fighters as a ground to force push their feet on to have enough speed but in the end, they floated through the energy wall of the hangar, where gravitation took place again, so they fell straight down about four metres on the ground, while being shot at by stormtroopers. Kylo froze their shots while they were falling down, but they instantly were unfrozen the moment his body hit the floor and crushed just centimetres above their head into the energy shield.

They instantly took in as much air as their lungs were able to handle, as they were on the verge to suffocate any second before.  
They saw stormtroopers approaching while they lay face down on the floor but weren't able to move instantly as an aftermath of the fall and the freezing temperature in space and of course the crash itself.  
Kylo was the first to at least get his arm again up to catapult the attacking troopers out of the hangar with the force back into space, where they both just had fled from.

"Finn to all! They are both alive, they just entered the hangar guys! I repeat they entered the hangar! They are crazy! And alive!"  
Finn cheered into the communicator. Other pilots joined and everyone started to scream in joy.

When Kylo started to feel his arms and legs more again with every second, he managed to stand up and instantly went over to Rey. He wasn't able to move enough to carry her, so he just grabbed her wrist and dragged her to the control panel as he was still limbing himself, while with the other hand igniting his saber as more troopers approached them and started shooting.  
He deflected the blows and managed to kill several of the attackers. Rey pulled herself up to the panel and tried to overwrite the energy shield entrance for the hangar.  
Meanwhile, Kylo was able to kill the rest of the troopers and he positioned himself with his back against the wall in the corridor leading to the hangar guarding it, so Rey was able to disable the shield..  
He panted heavily while doing so and Rey felt something wasn't right through the bond as her side hurt and she felt his distress, without leaving her eyes from the control panel she asked: " _Kylo you are hurt, aren't you?"_  
 _"Yes."_ he panted back, obviously in pain but still concentrated on their situation.

More troopers came through the corridor where he stood and again he fought them off one by one, but limped while doing so.

 _"There we go! Energy shield is gone! I just need a second to close the door to the corridor right now, then I'll get you! Hold your position"_ she happily exclaimed through their bond.

"Black leader to all! The shield is gone! Approach the hangar right now! I repeat approach the hangar right now! The shield is gone!  
Poe screamed as he instantly manoeuvred the ship into the hangar, landing it as it screeched over the floor.

Rey finally managed to close the door to the corridor Kylo was defending and he just slid back on the wall to the side, his head thrown back panting through his mask.  
The other X-Wings now landed too and everybody jumped out instantly to run over to both force users. Rey stumbled over to Kylo, as her feet didn't yet work so well as she liked them to and were still partly frozen when she saw this thick bloody line he had smeared on the wall where he stood.

"The fuck, Kylo! What happened?" she panicky screamed as she held him steady. The others just halted in front of them and also asked what happened.  
He pressed her back and lifted his cape from his abdomen, where a thick metal part, probably from the Falcon, stuck in his side, blood constantly streaming out.  
"I'll heal you right now!" she pleaded with tears in her eyes while she reached her arm out to his wound.  
He took her wrist and shook his head, while panting out: "No, wait. I need to get it out first."

He plopped to his knees and held both his hands onto the metal object, which as Rey just now saw also stuck out of his back.  
The others now understood what he was going to do, as some of them couldn't look at it, while Poe was on his way to him, to steady his shoulder.  
Kylo was a little bewildered by this, but he took one, two deep breaths and pulled the object out of his side while letting out a suppressed scream as it hurt so much he just saw white flashes in front of his eyes.

When the object was out, he tossed it to his side on the floor as blood gushed out of the wound while keeping a shakingly hold on Poe's arm as he felt himself falling over.  
He was on his way to unconsciousness from the pain right now, but luckily his mask pumped some adrenalin in him, so he stayed awake while he saw Rey's blue glowing hand hovering over his wound while tears were running down her face. He just grunted in pain as he felt the fibres of his muscles intertwine again from her force.

"Buddy it's okay, your girl is patching you up right now." Poe told him, what he barely heard through his pain.  
She just nodded and concentrated on his wound, going through all the steps he taught her when they healed the child together.  
After some time the pain eased down and Kylo let go of Poe's arm and just kept on watching Rey.  
She still had tears flowing down her face but was now smiling at him, while her hand still hovered over the wound.  
"This is probably the revenge of my father." Kylo mused through groans.

Rey smiled slightly, as tears were forming in her eyes at him joking in this desperate situation, then she got emotional as she watched him huff.  
"Kylo I didn't have time to answer when the ship crashed. I would always say yes If you'd ask me to marry you. Always."  
He took her head in hers and brushed his thumb against her cheek, she couldn't see him smile as he still wore his mask, but she just knew he did.

Poe laughed out loud: "Man that's so cliché! You asked her to marry you while on this suicide mission of yours?"  
Kylo shook his head and snorted slightly. "No, not yet. I told Rey I'm gonna ask her someday. But you'll surely be my best man then."

"Would be an honour!" the pilot said as he jokingly saluted him.

When Rey was done healing the biggest part of the wound, she threw away her own helmet and pulled up his mask to plant a deep kiss on Kylo's lips,  
which he responded to, by slinging both his arms around her as they both kneeled on the floor.  
"Are you drugged right now?" she asked him as she drew back slightly and saw his widened pupils.

"Jup." he shortly stated as he stood up and put his helmet back on to walk over to the closed door of the corridor.  
Poe looked puzzled back and forth between them, as Rey also stood up and motioned a helm on her head, whispering to him: "He's getting adrenaline shots from his helmet. That's why he lives through all these crazy things. I don't know what to make of this." Then she shrugged her shoulders.

"That doesn't sound healthy at all." Poe commented silently as his eyebrows were raised.


	36. Chapter 36: Yellow

When Kylo walked over to the door, he still felt a slight pain in his side, but thanks to Rey's healing it was nearly gone. The adrenaline in his blood numbed it probably too and made him ready to go on right now after the short break.

He turned around to the others and explained in detail the shortest way to Snoke's throne room and about the Pretorian Guards who are protecting him.  
They decided for him and Rey to fight through the stormtroopers waves as fast as possible to reach the hall, while the other rebels will back them up from the sides, trying to shot as many troopers down as possible, before they'd be able to turn their blasters on the force users.  
When they'll reach Snoke's guards Rey and Kylo will do the work, as their armour will reflect every laser pistol shots, making the other rebels useless against them.

Rey and Kylo positioned themselves next to the doorframe and waited for the gateway to open. The rebel on the control board yelled "Now!" and pressed the button to open it. Right, when slid open the first centimetres there were shots coming from behind the door and the force users jumped in front and dodged them.  
Now the real game began, as Rey and Kylo slashed their way through the armies of troopers like they were a piece of butter.

Rey was mostly deflecting the shots coming to her and the other rebels, sometimes she saw an opening and impaled the attackers with her saber.  
But Kylo was in his element. He swiftly stalked through the corridors while slashing everyone who came in his way, holding off shots in mid-air, as well as force throwing enemies against walls or down from bridges. It looked like the more he fought, the more reckless and aggressive his style became as he swung his blade through rows of troopers to no end leaving a trail of death behind.  
The rebels protected them from afar and shot down every trooper which was too far away to reach for the force users.  
They also suffered some casualties, but they couldn't stop now.

Rey became nervous at this sight of Kylo fighting, as she knew he was kneedeep into the dark side now and she just hoped they'll be able to get him out of this black hole he's throwing himself into right now.  
When they reached the control room for the ship, there were several generals who all gasped in fear as they saw Kylo Ren and then were instantly choked to death by him, or sliced down. Captain Phasma was also there and she just pressed herself against a wall, while trying to shoot him, but he deflected every blast.  
After several steps, he stood in front of her and reached out his arm as if he is going to choke her.

"Phasma. I'll give you this chance once. You have the choice to surrender yourself right now and live. Or to die heroically as the last standing Officer on the Supremacy.  
Tell me your answer. Now." he threatened with his metallic voice as his hand was still outreached to her neck.

Her weapon started to tremble, but in the end, she let the blaster fall down to the floor and bowed her head slightly. "I will surrender."  
Kylo lowered his hand and stated: "Wise decision Phasma. Now you will order every trooper on this ship to stay put and not interfere with our search for General Organa.  
She is in the throne room with Snoke. Am I correct?"  
"Yes. She is." Phasma nodded.  
"Was she tortured?" he now asked with a slightly trembling voice, just Rey could hear.  
"Not physically." Phasma answered.

Rey instantly wondered why he had offered to spare her, unlike the other generals. " _Why did you give her a choice?"_ Rey asked through their bond.  
" _Because she kept a secret for years."_ he answered cryptically.

Kylo turned around and motioned the rebels to restrain her after she had sent out a message to her troopers do not attack the incoming group.  
Chewbacca and another rebel now held both Phasmas cuffed arms, while they forced her to walk with them all the way to Snoke's halls.  
Everything seemed so quiet now as the fighting had stopped after Captain Phasma's command.  
They went through this insanely big ship without any further interference, which made everyone nervous as it was clear there would be some kind of trap waiting for them.

Nobody dared to say a word until they reached two big doors were Kylo Ren abruptly stopped.  
"This is your last chance to back off now. Everyone who enters this door accepts their fate and shall be ready to get killed any second." he stated without turning around but looking at Rey.  
She just nodded purposefully and placed herself right next to him.  
There was a little chattering behind them until one rebel said: "Not everyone wants to go in. Several will stay outside of the doors to watch if any stormtroopers will attack. Also, we will take Phasma as a hostage she might be helpful then."

Kylo nodded without uttering a word, then he walked forwards with big steps and forcefully swung open the door with both hands.  
The hall was immense. It had mostly black walls except for one in the back which was red. In front of the red wall was a throne. On the throne sat Snoke himself,  
not just a projection. Around him were eight red guards standing in a row, their weapons ready.  
But Leia wasn't to be seen anywhere.

Kylo ignited his saber, so did Rey and they both walked towards Snoke, who has his palms folded on his lap, watching them silently.  
The rebels, including Poe and Finn who decided to follow, were right behind them as they approached the throne.  
When there were about ten metres left, Snoke moved his hand a little towards them. Kylo instantly did too, in case he'd attack.

But there came no attack, instead, all the footsteps stopped as everyone was force frozen to the spot. Except for Kylo Ren.  
He hesitated for a second, but then just kept walking while he let his hand slightly down, as he couldn't do anything for the others right now.  
"Yes yes. Come forward, Kylo Ren. I have been waiting for you." Snoke growled at him.

Rey could feel Kylo's anger radiating in massive waves around him. Never has she felt him being agitated on this level before. Their bond hammered with an angry energy against her head while she tried to free herself from the force freeze. But to no avail. She wasn't even able to move her head or talk, which was driving her crazy.  
She tried to talk through their bond to Kylo but was completely blocked out by him, as he obviously held up a massive mental barrier to avoid Snoke penetrating his head.

"Kylo Ren. My former apprentice. It came to my ears you betrayed your..." Snoke started but was interrupted. "Where is my mother?" Kylo bellowed at him in a hate-fuelled voice. It was the first time Rey heard him address his mother in public as "mother", not Leia, or General Organa, which showed how emotional he was right now.

"Where did your manners go? TRAITOR?" Snoke yelled at him, while he held out his hand and force froze Kylo. Or at least he tried, but had trouble with it, as his former apprentice resisted.  
Kylo managed to go two more steps forward, but in the end, Snoke overpowered him, but he had to use both hands now as he made him kneel down on the floor.  
"Yes. Kneel down in front of your master. Like you did all these years." he laughed.

Rey began to panic now inwardly as she felt so helpless. No one was able to move and she could see Kylo trembling a lot as he tried to resist the force freeze, obviously  
he also wasn't able to talk anymore as he was completely quiet.  
Snoke sat down again and waved a hand to the guards as two of them opened a door and vanished for some seconds, but ultimately came back with Leia held tight on both arms.  
She looked utterly scared and her glance wandered back and forth between all the rebels in the room until it finally fell on her son in front of Snoke.  
She started to cry and breathed out: "I am so sorry Ben. I am so sorry. You should never have tried to come here. I am so sorry."  
But she was shut up as the two guards made her kneel in front of her son.

"There you are. See how nice your old master is to you? You demand to see your mother. I bring her." Snoke sneered at him.  
Kylo still wasn't able to move, but Rey was getting a headache from the anger and pain she could feel through their bond radiating from him.

Snoke stood up from his throne and walked over to mother and son as he stood in front of them.  
"Hand me over your lightsaber. You don't deserve it anymore." Snoke demanded as he held his arm up in front of Kylo's chest with an open palm.  
Kylo's hand with the still ignited saber trembled and wandered up slowly. When he was halfway near Snoke's hand, he managed to open his palm a little and let the saber fall on the floor instead of giving it to his former master.  
Rey saw how much he was struggling now, pulling together all his strength to resist the orders Snoke is giving him through the force.  
Everyone probably was, trying to free themselves from the grasp of the Supreme Leader force freeze.

"Still resisting until the last second? Snoke teased him as he let Kylo's lightsaber fly into his hand.  
Then he took a step forward, facing Kylo Ren and ignited the saber, holding it in the direction of his neck.  
Rey now started to tremble too as she was trying so hard to break through the force freeze, while simultaneously chanting messages of panic through their bond,  
even if she knew he wouldn't hear them right now.  
Leia was now whimpering and crying uncontrollably, pleading Snoke to let her son live.

As Snoke pulled up the saber he boldly stated: "Your mother always talked too much, didn't she?" then he slashed the weapon down, not against Kylo's neck, but onto the back of Leia. Her eyes widened and she let out a scream, as she fell forward. Her arm stretched out to Kylo's hand and she was able to grab it the last second before she fell facedown on the floor without moving anymore.

Rey screamed internally as she saw this scene, while Kylo managed to let out a growl and closed his trembling fist around the hand of his dying mother.  
Snoke took a step back, as he grinned in the most disgusting way.  
"Not enough to break you Kylo Ren? What a shame." he snorted with disgust.

Rey now saw Kylo moving a little as a puddle of blood started to form at his knees, coming from Leia's lifeless body.  
He slumped forward a bit, as his gloved hand let go of his mother's wrist.

"Did you really think you could walk in here with your rebel scum, overpower me and save her? Is this what you had in mind? Then you must have been an even worse apprentice than I ever thought. Maybe it takes more to punish your deeds. You do not deserve death, you deserve eternal suffering, knowing you are responsible for the deaths of the ones you feel compassion for. An utterly useless and weakening emotion."

The Pretorian Guards who brought Leia in the hall before, now went over to the other rebels who were all still frozen, unmoving, their eyes watching with horror at the scene which just unfolded before them. Some were crying or had absolute anger written on their faces.  
The two guards now grabbed Rey and even when Kylo couldn't see it right now, as he wasn't able to turn around to watch, he knew it was her who was taken.

They were dragging her over to Snoke, nearly to the same spot where Leia was kneeling before her.  
Rey had sweat pearls on her forehead and she was breathing heavily in absolute panic, pumping the air in short gaps out of her lungs.

Snoke raised his hand to Kylo and ordered: "Don't you want to take off your helmet, to see her life draining from her body with your very own eyes?  
Your force bonding partner? Your love? The girl you always felt compassion for?" As he said this, Kylo was forced to take off his mask by Snoke's outstretched hand.

He put both his quivering hands up and released the mechanism from his helmet and let it unceremonially drop down into the puddle of blood next to him.  
His glistening eyes were fixed on Rey's and she had never, since she knows him, seen this much fear and hate in them.  
They shot up a second to look at Snoke, who now took a step towards her, lightsaber in his right hand. Kylo then took a long glance at Rey, his eyes changing into a completely other emotion she wasn't able to read. She tried to talk to him through their bond, crying, whispering, screaming, but his barrier was still up and she couldn't reach him. The Pretorian Guards held her steady and pulled her head back a little to expose her neck.  
She was so unbelievably scared right now, she felt her fear making her dizzy, as her heart was beating so fast against her chest, it started to hurt.  
There was no way out of this situation, as she will be executed right now, while Kylo was being forced to watch.

Her eyes darted to her friends, Finn and Poe, who watched her with a horrid expression on their faces, so did the other rebels. She looked down on Leia, who laid sprawled on the floor in front of her, not moving a muscle. Rey would drop down next to her in a couple of seconds.  
Then her glance fell back to Kylo, thinking about all these warm memories she shared with him, how they met the first time, how he first trusted her to show images from his past, how he saved her, how they kissed the first time, how he taught her, how they joked with each other, how they made love the first time, how they nearly died together, how she saw him laugh the first time, how he told her he loves her. Tears were now streaming down her face as she looked at him, probably for the last time.

He held her glance for a second, but then closed his eyes.

Snoke let out a maniac laugh now. "You are even too weak to watch your little scavenger girl die? Closing your eyes at her inevitable death now? You unbelievable coward!"  
Rey was fixed on his closed eyes, as she wanted to see them one last time, before she dies, letting out small breaths trying to imagine the moment she will be finally released.

But then everything felt like it happened in slow motion. Just when Snoke ignited the lightsaber and lunged out to slash at her neck, Kylo opened his eyes again.  
They weren't the hazelnut brownish colour anymore, Rey used to love so much.  
They were bright yellowish with a red ring around the iris and he looked absolutely horrifying with it. His face was distorted in an incredibly hateful grimace and his glance shot up to Snoke who hovered just above Rey's head with the saber.

Suddenly and with an obvious great effort he stood up from his kneeling position and reached out his right hand. She saw sparks forming on his fingertips, which developed to crackling lightning all around his hand which he now shot in bright streams in the direction of Snoke and the Pretorian Guards who held Rey.  
He growled deeply while doing so and raised his other hand now, also shooting lightning out of it. The guards who held Rey were flung against the wall, while Rey felt an incredible amount of pain as she was also slightly hit from the sparks of Kylo's lightning force.

Snoke let out an agonizing scream, while he was hit and instantly fought back with the force, catching the lightning through his hands with great effort.  
Everyone was instantly unfrozen, as the Supreme Leader was occupied with defending his life.  
The lightning streams were now hitting all around them into the walls and the floor, making it dangerous for the others to stand still, so they tried to evade them as they jumped out of their way.

Rey backed off slowly on all fours, screaming in pain as she stood near Snoke and was also slightly hit by the attack.  
The other six Pretorian Guards moved now from their place on the wall, as two of them went over to Kylo reading their weapons for an attack, while the other four went over to Snoke and stood next to him.  
Kylo was still focused on killing Snoke, so he didn't have time for the two guard who approached. Just in the last second, when they positioned themselves in front of Kylo and raised their weapons to slash down on him, he stopped his stream of lightning for an instant and jumped up to avoid their attack. He grabbed both their faces with his hands and instantly released a great amount of sparks, which melted their masks to their faces, rendering them dead after some seconds.

His haunting gaze with the yellow eyes shot back to Snoke, who was right now escorted by the remaining four Pretorian Guards through the door, where Leia was dragged out before. Kylo instantly ran in the direction of them, hands reaching out shooting lightning streams in their direction. One guard was struck by it and fell down, but the other three managed to squeeze Snoke through the door and closed it behind them. As there was no control panel on this side, the door didn't open again when Kylo reached it,  
so he instantly forced his dropped down saber into his hand and slashed at the door while screaming in agony, trying to get it open again.

In the end, he threw his saber against it and punched so hard against it while lightning sparks emitted from his hand, his knuckles split open and left a bloody trail down on the metallic surface as he slowly sunk down to his knees, pressing his forehead against the door in front of him, while panting heavily.

All of this happened in a span of several seconds. Nobody was prepared for this and everyone stood there in utter shock, unable to move or say anything.  
Finn was the first one to move, as he ran over to Rey, who was still on all fours on the floor, trying to regain her power to stand, as she was still in pain from the attack she accidentally got a fair share of.

Finn kneeled in front of her and held her back and arms, as she tried to get up. She seemed to be okay, but wobbly on her legs and weakened.  
Poe now also moved and ran over to Leia, who laid still on the floor, her face turned to the side with closed eyes.  
He slid down to her body and picked her head up, checking her pulse on the neck.  
Tears started to stream down his cheeks, as he turned his face to the others and shook his head confirming what everyone hoped to not be true.

The other rebels now slowly came to their senses as some were hugging each other while crying, or walking over to Leia, cradling her with Poe.

Kylo still was facing the door while his hands emitted sparks, which sometimes became lightning streams that wandered around him on the floor.  
When Rey was steady enough to walk again, she motioned Finn to let her go as she made her way over to Kylo.  
When she was just about two metres away from, he let out a deep growl and screamed with an unnormal high pitched and wavering voice: "Stay away!"

She hesitated for a moment, but didn't listen and approached him anyway, whispering: "Kylo...I am here. It's okay."  
She kneeled down next to him, as she was hit again by lightning which still emitted from his hands.  
She gasped and let out a suppressed scream as she tried to crawl forward to him.

"Back off. BACK OFF!" he screamed at her, as he faced her, still with yellow eyes and tried to shift away from her, clenching his fists together as if he was trying to stop the sparks coming from them.  
Finn now pulled up his blaster and held it in the direction of Kylo Ren, ready to shoot, if he attacks Rey.

Rey still slowly approached him, all the while mumbling reassuring words to him, but she was sure he heard none of them, as he didn't look like himself right now.  
He still had so much hate and anger in his eyes, watching her like she was a predator ready to attack him. She was hit by several more sparks and she groaned from the intense pain each time.  
When she finally reached him, they were both panting heavily and he growled when she put up both her hands to his face, pressing her forehead against his as she was whispering to him how much she loves him, how they are safe for now and that she didn't get hurt, that he has to come back to her.

Everyone watched them because it seemed like an utterly dangerous moment as Kylo looked like he would burst into a murderous frenzy any second,  
his bright yellow eyes looking absolutely terrifying.  
Rey tried to render Kylo unconscious, but he still had his mind barrier so high up, she wasn't able to.  
So she just let her force brush his mind in warming, reassuring waves as she kept on talking to him.  
After a while, he closed his eyes and his insanely tense body started to relax slightly to her touch.  
His hands stopped to emit sparks and he let them drop down to his sides. He was still and quiet for some seconds until she felt something wet on her palms holding his face, while she also started to hear silent sobs coming from him as his head turned around to his mother.

His eyes were still yellow, but they were flickering between a brown and yellow colour now, while he blinked from the tears as he tried to focus on Leia's body and the people holding her, looking back at him.  
When Rey started to crawl closer and embraced Kylo carefully, Finn lowered his weapon and also sunk down to his knees.  
"She is dead...I... wasn't strong enough to save her." Kylo now whispered to Rey between two sobs.

"Shhsh. Shhhs. It's okay Kylo. It's not your fault. It never was, nor will it be. You saved everyone else today. It's okay. Please don't torture yourself now."  
They were both kneeling in front of each other, while she was embracing him, one hand was buried in his hair, stroking him repeatedly, like some would reassure a crying child. 


	37. Chapter 37: Others

Rey still kneeled on the floor with Kylo, as were Poe and the others around Leia, when the big door to the hall opened and the other rebels, including Chewbacca busted in and instantly closed the door again, while someone yelled: "There are lots and lots of stormtroopers attacking, they won't listen to Captain Phasma's orders anymore!"  
Then they saw Leia's dead body on the floor and Kylo's yellow-rimmed eyes, so Chewbacca growled out in anger and readied his bowcaster into Kylo's direction, obviously thinking he was the reason of Leia's death.

Finn who stood next to Chewie suddenly jumped in front of him and screamed: "NO!" whilst pushing the weapon up as it shot into the ceiling.  
Chewie just shoved Finn rudely away onto the floor and then stomped into the direction of Kylo, whilst roaring aggressively and aiming at Kylo again.  
Now several others started to scream at Chewie to take the weapon down. The force user's gaze wandered absently from Leia's body to Chewie as the Wookie fired again.

This time Kylo stood up and reached out his hand to stop the blast in midair, his eyes burning in a bright yellow colour again, then he froze Chewbacca as he just walked past him, ignoring him completely while he picked up his lightsaber through levitation on his way, igniting it while it still was in the air and force pushed the door open.  
Rey's mouth was agape, as she knew he wouldn't normally be able to hold off Chewies blaster shots but he obviously dwelled in the dark side of the force so deep right now he just did it anyway.

When he stomped through the door, dark energy radiating from him, he growled an: "Go back to the base! Now!" to the others and there instantly were shots from stormtroopers coming into his direction, which he also halted in midair, while the door closed again behind him.  
There was lots of shooting and screaming to be heard, but after some seconds it completely died down and everything went quiet.

This all happened in a matter of just several seconds and everyone was baffled, as they didn't know what he was doing. Chewbacca was unfrozen again and just growled while holding his head with one paw, but then decided to scoop over to Leia in defeat.  
Rey knew the moment she saw Kylo leave the room, that he is going to do something insanely awful so she stood up with great effort and stumbled over to the door,  
while Poe yelled desperately:  
"Oi Rey! Where are you going? Stay here...Please! What is he doing?"

Rey turned around and faced the pilot with a trembling voice: "Poe. I don't know. I really don't know. His force signature felt horrifying and he blocks our bond.  
I think he'll do something disastrous. I need to follow him. Go back to the base with the others!"

Just when she wanted to turn around and go, Phasma's metallic voice rang through the hall. "The generator room." She just stated.  
Everybody's eyes wandered to the silverly dressed stormtrooper, then Rey asked suspiciously: "What about it?"

"He probably is going to destroy it." Phasma answered boldly.  
Rey didn't have enough time for cryptical answers, as she had to follow Kylo.  
So she went some steps forward and reached her arm out, prying into Phasma's mind to find out why she said this and if she might be lying.

There were several different pictures. They were mixed up in a nonchronological order, but she got a glimpse of several events from the past and from today.  
At first, there was a picture of Kylo stumbling out from Snoke's hall, helmet on but barely holding up. Phasma has been waiting outside and now ran to his aid to hold him up and dragged him to the medical bay of the ship. There he collapsed on the floor, as she removed his helmet, to see blood running out of his nose. She ordered some droids to take care of him, while she watched over them.

Then another scene came up. Phasma was waiting with several stormtroopers outside of a ship, looking over to a solitary house in the distance while screams and shootings emerged from it. Then everything went quiet. They waited for several minutes for someone, until Phasma told the others troopers to stay put, while she walked over to the house.  
When she entered, she saw four people lying on the floor, dead. In the middle of it, Kylo Ren was kneeling on the floor, cradling a young girl in his arms, who was also dead.  
He had taken off his helmet and was sobbing while looking at the child in his arms in shock. He looked younger than he is now. Maybe in his early twenties. His lightsaber lay somewhere in the room as if he had tossed it away.

Phasma came over and kneeled down in front of him, while she took her helmet off. This was also the first time Rey saw her without a mask. She was older than Rey and had short blonde hair and a serious face. When she was in front of Kylo and he looked up at her with glistening eyes, she asked what happened.  
He answered: "She was too strong with the force. I wasn't able to block her energy. I had to kill her. She is so young. She is just a damn child!"  
Phasma looked from the child up to him and had some kind of sadness or pity in her eyes. "It's not your fault. It was obvious, the day would come when there is someone too strong, where you wouldn't be able to block their force energy anymore. I am sorry, it had to be this child." With that, she stood up and waited for Kylo to do so too until they both walked out of the house.

The next scene that plopped up was Phasma walking up to a room, where sparks flew out through the door and yelling was heard. When she entered, it was Kylo in the middle of a rage fit, destroying the room with his saber. When she saw him, she took off her helmet and placed it on a not yet broken table, while he stopped and panted heavily, anger written all over his face. She walked over to him and asked with a somehow soft voice if he succeeded in his mission. He just yelled an angry: "NO!" at her, while both his hands grabbed his head in frustration, clawing in his hair.  
"What happened?" she asked. "I was too weak. I couldn't kill my father. I could have easily shot his ship down, but I couldn't bring myself to do it! This is insane!" he growled while closing his eyes in concentration to calm somewhat down.  
Phasma took one more step forward and just grabbed his face, kissing him hastily as in if she wants to reassure him. He immediately opened his eyes in shock,  
took both her arms and shoved her away slightly, yelling a confused: "What?" at her.

Rey stopped the mind prying at that for a second, as she was taken aback by what happened between these two, now also understanding why he gave Phasma a chance to survive. Her chest started to hurt and she felt something she could only decipher as jealousy washing over her. But she still had to find out what Phasma meant with the generator room. So she swallowed down her feelings and used the force again with more pressure this time.

There was a picture of a furiously screaming Snoke now, ordering her and several other generals to attack the new resistance base with all their might and the five thousand stormtroopers on board, killing every rebel off until the last man, woman and child.  
The next picture was the most recent one of her being restrained by Chewbacca and the other rebels in front of the throne room, while she heard the voice of Snoke through her comlink, telling the troopers to not listen to any of the leftover generals anymore and execute everyone relentlessly on the Supremacy who does not belong to the First Order.

Rey now understood why Phasma thought he'd be going to the generator room. "He's going to blow up the Supremacy..." she mumbled and looked up with a shocked face.  
Phasma nodded and said: "Yes. There is no way, the stormtroopers will stop their attack anymore after Snoke's order. He knows that."  
"It's gonna kill everyone on this ship, successfully stopping the attack...We have to leave. Now!" Rey ordered the others.

One more time, Rey reached out her arm to Phasma and used the force to pry into her mind, getting the detailed information where the generator room was.  
Then she eyed her for a second and whispered, so only she could hear it: "Do you love him?" Phasma nodded so slightly, just Rey was able to see it.

She turned around with a fast beating heart after this answer and faced the door, as Poe ordered the others to go back to the hangar to board their ships while watching out for attacking stormtroopers.  
Chewbacca took Leia's body and Rey informed the others that she is going to go for Kylo, while she promised everyone to come back.  
They nodded and finally opened the door, just now seeing what had happened when the dark side user walked out before them.

It was a cruel scene, everywhere dead troopers with missing limbs lay on the ground, there was blood on the walls, the floor, even streams of the red liquid gathered together dripping down from a nearby bridge and several metal walls were slashed at obviously with a lightsaber, while sparks flew away from open the holes in it.  
It looked like a massacre and everyone had to gulp at this picture. Finn tried to convinceRey to go with her one last time, but she declined and explained that she has  
to bring back Kylo on her own.

When they parted ways, the rebels going back to the hangar, while Rey made her way to the generator she ignited her lightsaber, in case stormtroopers will attack.  
While she ran she always tried to press through their bond into his mind, but it was still blocked so she had no chance at all.  
She pretty much just followed the way of destruction and was sometimes surprised by attacking troopers, who she managed to fight off.

After some time the lights on the ship started to flicker and a siren was to be heard. A computer voice warning of the unstable condition of the ship, telling everyone to evacuate. _So he already destroyed the generators. I have to reach him fast now before everything will be blown to pieces._ She put more power into her legs to run faster. Then she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her shoulder but didn't stop running as she already heard explosions. Just now she understood what this pain was, as she felt her tunic wetting. She got hit by a blaster shot.  
She grunted in pain and held her shoulder, while still running.

Then she heard him in her mind: " _Rey_? You are hurt!" He had opened the bond again. " _Kylo? Flee from the ship! Please! Save yourself!"_ She sent him, as she felt herself getting slower from the loss of blood.  
" _Where are you Rey? Show me!"_ he now yelled at her slightly panicked. She opened the bond completely and looked around, while one hand was pressed on her wound.  
She tried to stumble into the direction of the generator room, but it still was so far away she would never be there in time.  
She put a hand on the wall to pause for a second as she felt herself getting dizzy. She panted heavily, as the lights went off every few seconds and the siren seemed to be getting louder.

Suddenly she heard a humming sound coming from the end of the dark corridor and she saw a red flickering light. It was Kylo Ren, making his way into her direction, yellow eyes seemingly shining through the darkness while he held his lightsaber as a light source in front of him.  
Without uttering a word he picked her up bridal style and took a turn left, kicking open a door with his feet and then standing in front of a small escape pod, attached to the wall, also kicking this door open and pushing Rey hastily in the seat, while she was yelling at him.  
He was about to close the door in front of him, while he still stood outside. The explosions of the detonating ship coming nearer every second.  
Rey screamed: "NOO!" and forced the door open again while feeling an intense pain from the blaster wound in her shoulder.

His eyes widened when she jumped forward to grab his collar, ripping him downwards with all her leftover strength for him to fall into the pod too. She kicked the control board with her feet, for the door to close and the escape pod immediately launched itself from the base, shooting them into space.

He laid sprawled on top of her in the most uncomforting position but wasn't able to move much as there was no space left in the small cabin, his yellow shining eyes were on hers in shock as he yelled:" Rey! Are you crazy? This pod is for one person only! It will definitely crash down!"  
"We lived through worse things than this by now!" she boldly stated while she couldn't leave her gaze from his haunting eyes, which started to flicker again a little as they searched her face.  
She put the hand from her uninjured arm up to his face and pulled him into her, so his head rested on her chest. He didn't have much of a choice anyway as the space was so small, he couldn't stand up, or move beside her. So he just let himself fall down a bit while trying to not get in touch with her wound.

While he laid there on top of her, she mumbled, while running her fingers slowly through his hair: "Please come back to me. Leave the dark side behind you for now.  
It scares me. Your eyes, they are yellow and red. Are you aware of that?"  
He just breathed out a: "Yes." on her shoulder, while closing his eyes, so she didn't have to see them anymore.

Their escape pod was flying unsteadily through space, as it was shot away from the Supremacy. They were pretty far away right now and Rey watched the ship through a small window on the door of the pod. Then there was this really bright blueish light coming from within the First Order ship, which started to spread into a white ring super fast and then an enormous explosion took place while the Supremacy was completely destroyed as it broke in two halves.  
Rey watched in complete silence, but also horror and awe at this gigantic explosion taking place in front of her eyes, while she laid her hand on Kylo's eyes to shield them from the white burning light coming their way. She turned her head into his hair and closed her eyes too, whispering: "The Supremacy is gone. The shockwave will hit us any second now."  
"I know." he just answered sounding kind of tired and defeated.  
Just then the shockwave hit them and the escape pod was shaken intensely while being thrown into some kind of spiral, which made Rey moan in pain from the gravity pressing her into the seat.  
Kylo tried to press himself away, to not lay with his full weight on her and her wound, but to no avail as the G-forces against their bodies were just too strong right now.

After several seconds Rey just passed out, as her body couldn't take it anymore. 


	38. Chapter 38: Family

Poe, Finn and the others were on their way back, unsure what happened to Rey and Kylo when the left the Supremacy before it exploded.  
They just saw this gigantic explosion taking place on the ship, which ripped this big spacecraft into two halves.

Everyone stayed silent as they were still shocked about Leia's death and the whole situation that just unfolded the last hours before their eyes. Lots of resistance fighter's died, as they were shot down while trying to attack the Supremacy and or while fighting through the ship. So they didn't know how many casualties they have suffered by now. When they landed on the base, it was chaos. Doctors and medical droids were running and flying around, trying to save the injured rebels which were able to be secured before leaving, while people were arguing or crying everywhere.

When Poe and Finn landed, they just fell into each other's arms and cried, while Finn babbled about Rey, asking if anybody had seen her leave the ship on time before the explosion.  
Nobody had, so the two friends didn't know what else to do than staying put and sobbing about the recent events.

* * *

Rey woke up as a sharp pain hit her shoulderblade. She groaned and opened her eyes while she pulled up her hand to touch the spot, just then realizing she was partly flowing in water and Kylo's hand was on her upper chest, to press it down slightly under the surface.  
She looked at her wound as he was picking out small metal splinters from her skin around the blaster shot, the water helping him, to see the splinters better, as it washed away her blood. Then her glance wandered up to him and she saw, that he had blood dripping down from his forehead. His eyes found hers and she let out a weak smile: "Your eyes. They are brown again! Thank the maker!"

He stopped for a second and watched her intensely as a small insecure smile came across his lips. "Yes, they are. You are my light, bringing me back, as Luke said it before."  
He paused for a moment, as his glance fell back to her shoulder. "You are hurt pretty bad. It's a good thing we have the force bond. I'll lend you as much energy through it as I can, so you can heal yourself. Will you be able to do that?"  
She nodded and he put a hand behind her neck, letting his warm energy flow through her as he raised her slightly out of the pond he had bathed her in. She put up a palm to her wound and let it heal. Ripped muscle fibres started growing together, as she sometimes hissed in pain from it.  
He was pushing even more energy into her, which made her feel dizzy, so she mumbled: "Stop. Don't overdo it. You still need some for yourself!"  
He immediately lowered his energy inflow and she felt slightly better.

While she healed herself, she asked: "What happened to us? The Escape pod?"  
"You became unconscious from the G-forces while the pod was hurled through the atmosphere of this nearby planet.  
Here it came down too fast and I tried to stop the fall with the force. I just succeeded partly, as I wasn't fully there because I was dropping in and out of consciousness too. So the pod crashed into the trees over there, which slowed the fall down slightly. Then I dragged you out here from the burning thing, after I was conscious again.  
That's where you woke up. End of story." he answered plainly.

"A little bit more delight for us surviving this crash please!" she teased him. He looked bitterly at her and answered: "I don't feel like laughing right now."

All the images of Leia's death now flashed back into her mind, so she stopped healing herself and looked guiltily at Kylo: "You are right. I'm sorry.  
That was stupid." as she put a hand up to his hair and healed the wound on his head now, using his own energy for it.  
When she was done, he stood up and gave her a hand as he helped her stand up too. Then he brushed away the blood from his forehead with the back of his sleeve and started to walk in a certain direction as if he knew where they are going.

They were in some kind of forest, with lots of different trees surrounding them and daylight shining through the treetops.

Rey knew he was acting strange, but guessed it was because of his lately deceased mother. She followed him and took his hand in hers, to which he let out a small gasp and walked a little slower without looking at her. He barely touched her back, but his hand trembled slightly.

While they walked in silence for some minutes Rey finally dared to talk again, as she felt his hand getting cold and trembling more as his mind was utterly disturbed.  
She brushed his mind and felt him repeating his mother's death over and over in his head as he did back in the pond with Han's death.  
"Kylo...You can cry if you want. I'll hold you. I am here for you." she whispered as she turned her head to look at him.  
He stopped in his track and looked onto the floor, without answering. Then he let go of her hand and took a step forward and another one like he would just keep going.  
But then he stopped again and started shaking slightly. Suddenly she heard a groan, as he sat himself on the ground and started to cry so loud and desperate, Rey was startled by this and she needed a second to realize that he had indeed listened to her and let out all his sadness at once, having a mental breakdown right now.

She instantly walked over and sat behind, spooning him as she wrapped both arms around his chest and laid her head on his back, while she listened to his cries and held her hand over his heart, feeling how tense he was and how fast it was beating right now.  
Never had she seen him this helplessly, this desperate, letting his whole guard down. She felt so much compassion for him right now,  
she wanted to absorb all of his pain to relieve him, even if it just helped a little. She knew he felt massively guilty for letting Snoke escape and even more, for the death of both his parents, especially his mother now.

She pulled herself up little a little, to embrace him even more from behind, as she laid both her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear:  
"Kylo, I know how you feel. I really do. I can feel it through our bond. You did everything in your power to save them. You even dedicated the last years of your life on plans how to keep them alive. Do not guilt-trip yourself right now. You are not guilty. The only - really the only one - who is guilty, is Snoke.  
And you still have people, family left who are looking up to you. There is still Luke, me, Poe and Finn. We know you did incredibly brave things to save others.  
I love you. I will be there for you. I always will."

He grabbed her arm and let out shaky breaths while sobbing into her when she started to hum a melody she always hummed to herself at night, back on Jakku when she was too sad or too lonely to be able to sleep. It was a soothing melody which she had invented to calm down her nerves and to not feel alone too much.  
They stayed like this for several minutes, as she was caressing him while he was holding onto her. He listened to her humming and thanked the maker for having met Rey,  
as she was always there for him and knew exactly what to do to calm him down. Sometimes he thought, she knew him better than he did himself.

After some time, he pushed her away a bit, motioning her to stand up. She did and looked at him in a worried way, while he wiped his sleeve over his eyes to brush away the last tears. Then he chuckled slightly, with one hand still on his face while he looked at her and said: "Thank you Rey. I never did that before."  
"I know. Sometimes this is the only thing that helps, when it feels, like all the light in your life is gone." she said as she brushed her thumb over his slightly wet cheek.

He smiled at her and pulled her head to him to rest his forehead against hers.  
This was something which had evolved between them over the time as the ultimate trusting gesture for really emotional situations.  
She loved this gesture which he had initially started after he saved them out of the stadium back then and it was something that soothed them both and brought their force bond to a perfect balance when one of them was out of place. It made her feel home and truly connected to him and she could stand like that for hours and feel their force intertwining between each other.


	39. Chapter 39: Dirt

When they parted from their embrace and Kylo seemed to be more calm Rey started to take in her surroundings and tried to find civilization through the force.  
Luckily she found something not too far away. "Kylo if we'll walk in this direction there should be people. Do you know which planet it is? Do you think they are friendly?"

He looked into the direction she was pointing. "I'm pretty sure we landed on Rodia. If so, they are not friendly, but at least politically neutral. Mostly bounty hunters, workers and upper-class folk. Ah yeah and some beasts in the woods. But nothing we can't handle. We should find a ship or at least some communication device in the city."

"Beasts? Uh okay. You know which ones?" she asked while they walked through the forest as she was cutting away some branches with her saber.  
"No, they are not explored as far as I know." he answered as he followed her.

"Oh great. I'm now totally looking forward to meeting one of these." Rey said while rolling her eyes. "Do you know we two pretty often end up crashing our ship, or getting lost in some woods. Is this our mutual thing?" she joked, trying to enlight the mood.

He snorted a little, as he thought back to the first time, she crashed her ship on the desert planet.  
"As far as I remember, every time was because of your doing somehow."

"Yeah...maybe. Ok, it was. But you saved me every time!" she grinned at him.  
He glanced at her sideways and stated: "Guess that's my destiny. Saving you from crashing things and keeping you alive at any cost."  
"That makes it sound like, I am incapable of doing anything at all." she pouted a little.  
"You are incapable of cooking. But except from that, you are extremely powerful and an incredibly fast learner. You don't know how long the pupils at Luke's academy needed to learn the things you learned in mere days. It took them weeks or even months. So no. I never meant it this way."  
he declared.

She smiled at that and nudged his arm, mumbling a "Thanks." as they kept on walking through the woods.  
After about an hour they saw an opening between the trees and big glass domes in the distance. Rey's eyes widened at this, as she had never seen something similar.  
"These are beautiful! Do you think they have these domes because of the beasts outside?"

Kylo nodded and answered: "Yup. Probably one of the reasons. And easier defence against incoming attacks from ships. But more likely it's a classist issue,  
where the rich ones can live inside, while everyone else has to live outside."

"That sounds horrible. But, if there are rich people inside, they'll surely have some kind of communication we could use. Come on!"  
Rey said as she stepped forward.  
So they walked until they reached the domes and found an entry, guarded by two heavily armed aliens. "What is the reason for your visit outsiders?"  
One guard spat at them.

Rey stepped forward and lifted her hand. "You are going to le us through, without questioning it further."  
"We are going to let you through without questioning it further." the guards said simultaneously.

Both force users stepped through the huge gate into the glass dome as Rey looked all around her with bright eyes, trying to take in as much as she was able to. Kylo was slightly amused by her astonishment every time they were in a new place so he just watched her and looked for someplace to find a communication device. The people who walked by looked at them, especially at Rey like she had dirt on her face.  
Kylo didn't point out much, as he was wearing his simple black clothes with his robe, making him somehow look neat as always.

Rey's face went red after some time and she turned around to him, whispering: "Kylo I feel so incredibly underdressed. Everyone here wears expensive robes and they stare at me like I am garbage. This feels so embarrassing. Somebody will surely throw us out at this rate!"  
Just the second she said this, another guard walked up to them and stopped Kylo. "Excuse me. There are people complaining about a certain woman disturbing the streetscape. She might even carry several diseases with her. I advise you to remove her from this area, or we will take care of that."

Rey gasped at these words, but Kylo instantly told her through the force bond: " _Let me handle this. Keep quiet for a second. Please?_ " and he answered the guard in such a smug voice: "I know. I am sorry we gave these people worries. I assure you she doesn't carry any diseases, I got this checked when I bought her at the market.  
You see, it was a hasty transaction as my last slave killed herself this morning, so I immediately needed a new one. There was no time to bring proper clothing.  
We are on our way to take care of this right now, so you might let us pass."

The guard looked at her from feet to head and then back to Kylo. Several people were standing around them, watching the scene, waiting for her to be thrown out.  
Some children even pointed at her.

The guard now laughed and bowed himself forward to Kylo, whispering: "If she's properly dressed and washed, she might even be fuckable.  
I am sure she was expensive."  
Kylo looked at him with a dark expression and hissed: "Certainly more than you will ever earn in your lifetime as a guard on some goddamn gate.  
Now stop bothering me with such nonsense. "

The guard backed off a step and nodded angrily, letting them go. Kylo winked at Rey, motioning her to follow him. She looked at him with a shocked expression but nodded and followed in his footsteps. Just when she was about to turn around, she saw the guard trip over his own feet, falling down in the most unusual way, breaking his shin with it. People were gathering around him and tried to help him up, while she and Kylo walked away.

When she was next to him, he mumbled to her: "I am sorry. I didn't mean any..." "I know, I know...The guard...did you?" she instantly interrupted. "Yes. He deserved it." now Kylo interrupted her. She giggled a little and said: "Yes he did. Asshole. I guess I really need other clothes, or we won't stay here long enough to contact anybody."  
He nodded and they walked down a street with different stores when Kylo found one with clothes. "Ok let's do this!" He warned, while he grabbed her arm and dragged her through the door.

The vendor and several other costumers looked bewildered at them when Kylo leaned over the counter and slammed lots of credits on it.  
"She was bought several hours ago and I need something for her to get dressed properly. She has lots of work to do, so get her something with more space to move freely."  
Then he turned to Rey and ordered: "Follow the lady and get some real clothes."  
Rey bowed down slightly while trying not to laugh at this strange situation.

The saleswoman scrunched her nose at Rey and just waved her to follow into to the backroom, which Rey did instantly.  
Kylo sent her through the force bond, while he waited at the counter: _"Don't punch this stuck-up lady Rey."  
_ Rey laughed at this, while she followed the woman and answered him: " _Haha I won't. The robes on the clothes rails here look so uncomfortable.  
How do people even move in these?_"

The saleswoman stopped in front of a shelf to pull out a long black dress and handed it Rey without uttering a word.  
Rey took it, not knowing where to go with it as she looked around, so the woman rolled her eyes and groaned unnerved, waving again to follow her and they walked to the other side of the room, to a cabin where Rey could get changed.

Rey slipped in and stood there for a while, unsure of how to get into this dress without ripping it open instantly.  
When she was partly naked, the woman opened the door without asking and said: "You need lingerie? Your master is taking you later I suppose?"  
Rey's face went red all the way as she understood what the woman meant by that. "Uhm...NO. He does not do that!" Rey said in defence of Kylo.  
The woman laughed at that and snorted: "Of course not sweetheart."

Rey tried to cover herself as the woman still stood there in the door, but then she decided to go with it. "Actually. Yes, get me something.  
He might, later, when I am done with work. I don't want him to be dissatisfied. I was told he can be really brutal if there's not everything to his satisfaction."

The woman nodded and left, but came back several minutes later with some black lingerie in her hands. Rey didn't even know where everything belongs at first, so she took some time to get everything to the right place. Never has she worn this kind of things and she watched herself in the mirror as she got dressed.  
She turned herself around several times to look at her butt and squeezed her breasts together to find out if the bra is sitting right. She wavered somewhere between amazed at how she looks and finding this utterly ridiculous.  
When she was done putting on the lingerie and feeling herself looking acceptable, she slipped into the dress.  
The shoulders were free and it had slits on the side of her legs. Then she even had to put on long gloves, which went over her elbows.  
At least she got flat shoes, even if they were too shiny for her liking.

Rey looked into the mirror and watched herself move in the dress. She looked totally out of place and felt just really strange with it, so she tried to make some fighting moves, kicking and punching in the air and swinging around her not ignited saber to see if she had enough clearance for movements.  
Surprisingly she had and just when she punched into the air while she stood in a fighting stance in the booth, the woman opened the door again, looking at her in a disgusted way and asked if she was finally done as she took her old clothes and threw them in a bin. Rey wanted to protest first, but it was already too late.

"You should do something to the mess on your head. Barbers are on the other side of the street." the woman said as Rey stepped out of the booth.  
Rey just nodded in disgust but followed the vendor back to the main room, where Kylo waited. He just leaned onto the counter and stared at the floor.  
When Rey and the vendor came in again, the woman started to babble: "I am sorry. She still needs to see a barber. This combination looks horrible without a proper hairdo.  
I could sell you a hat if you want to cover it up for now."  
The saleswoman kept talking to Kylo, but he stared at Rey as if he had forgotten how breath. Rey looked puzzled at him, while the woman asked something.  
Kylo didn't react as he kept his eyes fastened on Rey. The woman asked again, with slightly more pressure.  
Just then Kylo turned his head around to her and said a little too loud: "WHAT?"

The woman took a step backwards and gasped at his sudden outburst and said: "I asked if everything is to your satisfaction. We can always change her style if you don't agree with it."  
His eyes were already back on Rey and it took some time for him to acknowledge the woman again.  
He stuttered: "Yes. Yes. Uh. This will work. I mean. She can work like this. It's perfect. Goodbye!" Then he grabbed Rey's arm and dragged her outside of the store.

Rey turned around and asked with raised eyebrows: "What the hell? Kylo what was that? You nearly blew the cover."  
He just stood there wide eyed and looked at her from head to toe. "This is the only thing they had for you to move freely in it?" he asked as he stared at her exposed shoulders.  
"Yes, I guess. You should have seen the other stuff. I even tried several fight stances in the booth, it isn't as uncomfortable as it looks." she answered as she crossed her arms in front of her chest.  
He nodded and his glance finally fell back to her face. "Rey. You look so...I can't even describe it. Totally unlike you. But at the same time incredibly stunning."  
"You think so? I don't know. I don't feel right in this. But look, this is awesome!" Rey turned around and showed him her back, which had small sewn ornaments on the fabric, but also exposed lots of skin as the thin fabric of the ornaments just stopped right above her butt.

Kylo reached out his hand and brushed his finger down her spine. "Black still suits you very much." 


	40. Chapter 40: Black No 2

After he traced down his finger on the ornamental fabric of Rey's dress, his hand came up to her head again as he slowly pulled out the three buns letting her hair fall down on her shoulders. "What are you doing?" she asked while he combed her hair down.  
"Just getting this beautiful mess from your head, like the scum of a store lady suggested before." he whispered as his lips touched her neck to plant a small kiss on it.  
"You don't like it like I normally wear it?" she asked, while she slightly turned around to face him. "Of course I like it. You could actually do everything you want with your hair and I'd still love it. But with this dress, you should wear something which doesn't look like if you are going scavenging right now."  
He started to braid her hair while he occasionally brushed her neck with one finger. "Kylo...?" She started. "Yeah?" he asked.  
"Do you think anybody in the whole galaxy would believe me, if I'd tell them, mighty Kylo Ren braided my hair?  
Why are you even able do that?" she asked puzzled.

He snorted a little and whispered: "No, nobody would believe you.  
My mother had a different hairstyle every day. I often watched her getting it done when I was a child. That's how I learned it."

"Oh. I am sorry. I didn't want to remind you. But yeah that makes sense. Thank you." she said slightly ashamed at reminding him of his mother.  
"It's okay Rey. It's too late anyway now. We will have this often enough the next weeks and even months, that everything reminds us of her.  
So don't worry talking about it." he said as he took a step back and watched his work. He had braided her hair all around her head in some kind of a circle. It was done really accurately and no hair seemed to stick out.  
Rey put her hands up to feel it and seemed satisfied too, so she grinned at him and said: "So do I still have to act like I am your slave? Or did we also buy an update to my class-status with this outfit?"

He snickered and answered, while he laid a hand on her back: "I guess I just decided to free you and take you with me as my secret affair,  
with whom I am on some forbidden vacation while my wife waits desperately at home with the three kids, thinking her husband is on a business trip, coming home any day. Poor thing, as she doesn't know I'll run off with my affair and never come back again."

"Pff. You have a wonderful imagination when it comes to cruel things Kylo. That's kind of disturbing." she stated as she hooked her arm into his.  
He just huffed a little and they walked down the street. Nobody looked at Rey anymore like they did before and it was much easier to roam the streets.  
"Where are we going actually?" Rey asked after a while.  
"To the hangar. They must have a communication station. Otherwise, they'd have ships we could steal if everything else fails." he explained.

"Ok let's try to not steal a ship. We don't need any attention on us right now. I don't want Snoke to come here with the rest of his fleet to track us down. Let's just contact Poe and the others. They must be worried sick and they'll surely have a plan and can bring us back to the base." Rey stated as they walked down a street with golden tiles on the walls, while there were people looking into shop windows with expensive jewellery in it.

Rey looked kind of disgusted at these rich people, bathing in their glamour while others have to die from hunger on planets like Jakku.  
They finally reached a place with several parked ships and a big hall, with lots of people going inside and out. It looked like this was the place with the most traffic inside the glass dome so they walked right into it. Kylo had a disgruntled glance on his face as they shoved themselves through the moving masses.  
He obviously hated being around that many people.

"Ah look! There are communication rooms, let's go!" Rey chirped as she took his hand and dragged him through the people to a wall with several small cabins, which were luckily opaque, so nobody could see who they'll be calling.  
When they entered one of the cabins, the space was so small, Kylo sat on the chair, while she sat on his left leg, as they tried to get on some kind of comfortable position to call the base and to be in the field of the hologram device.  
When he absentmindedly put his hand on her thigh, as she was going to dial the number from Poe's communication device,  
Kylo gasped for a second as he felt something under the fabric of her dress. It felt like some sort of suspender with stockings.

He abruptly lifted up the skirt of the dress over her belly to look at it, while she let out a yelp and tried to hinder him.  
"What the hell! Rey!" he marvelled. After he stared at her lingerie for several seconds he instantly pulled the dress down again and eyed her with some wild,  
but also puzzled gaze. She could instantly feel something pressing against her butt as she sat on his lap and he groaned slightly.  
She turned herself around and faced him while grinning mischievously: "Did you just get a fucking hard on from that?"

He dragged his fingers along her thigh alongside the halters of the stockings. "Yes." he pressed out between his lips, while he slightly bit into her neck.  
She snorted a little and was surprised that he reacted so much from the lingerie. "Actually, the saleswoman talked me into it.  
I declined first, but ultimately decided I might want to satisfy my master as she suggested."

"Oh, you do Rey. You really do. Maker. You are some kind of a woman." Kylo panted against her skin, obviously highly aroused.  
"I didn't know it would have this much of an effect on you. But I am glad it does." she grinned at him with a knowing glance.  
"I didn't know too. Maybe it was the moment of surprise. I didn't expect that." Then he slid the dress up a bit again until the lace of her stockings came into sight again.  
"But maybe it also just looks incredibly hot." he whispered as he took her face with one hand and turned it into his direction, planting a wet, longing kiss onto her lips,  
while she moaned slightly into him.

Then he turned her face back to the controls in front of them and put her hand on the dialer.  
She knew he wanted to break the buzzing tension between them and get things working, like finding out how they'll leave this planet again.  
Rey sighed a little as she knew he was right, so she dialled the number and waited for the call to come through.

After several seconds Poe's face came into sight with a puzzled and then instantly beaming face of joy as he yelled: "Rey! Kylo! The fuck! You two are fucking alive man!  
I can't believe this! Thank the maker! We didn't know what happened to you both after the Supremacy collapsed! Man, I am so relieved! Is everything all right? Where are you?" Then he looked onto Rey's clothes, he could just see the upper part of them. "Rey what...what is that? Are you wearing a dress? Don't tell me you were out dancing without me!"

Rey smiled and told him about the planet they are on and about these rich assholes judging her by her look, while Kylo propped himself up on his elbow, while he stroked her leg with his other hand. She felt herself getting a little giddy by his moves, even if she had the feeling he doesn't do this with a sexual intention right now.  
So after Rey told Poe everything that had happened since the destruction of the First Order Ship, she asked if the others would come over and get them.  
Poe scratched his head and stalled a bit.  
"Poe?!" Kylo asked with a pressing voice now.

"Yeah uhm. About that. So after the ship was destroyed and we landed back on our base there were lots of people arguing. The generals just then learned about Leia's death. I am so sorry Kylo...I..."  
Kylo waved his hand at him and interrupted: "Don't be, I can handle this. What's the situation over there?"

"Okay. So the generals learned about this event. They pretty much all thought you killed her while going into your sith mode thing. They really did fucking think that.  
After all, you've done for us. Of course, there were several people, including me, Finn and others who were fucking there and saw it. We told them in detail what happened. But several other rebels, who waited outside the door and just came in, before you rushed out, you know with your crazy yellow murder eyes, slaughtering every breathing thing outside, they didn't believe us. Actually, we were fighting the whole way back. Everyone was screaming at each other. Finn and I just went back to my house and tried to talk through everything, planning out how we will handle this situation. We are of course totally on your side. We saw everything with our own eyes.

So when we came back there was this huge fight in the cantina, people were taking sides, several generals called for your execution.  
Others didn't want you executed, they knew you helped, but said you are a danger to the resistance, as Snoke will try to find you again. Or Rey. Probably both of you.  
Man, it took hours and there was no resolve for anything as everybody wanted the complete opposite. Also, everyone was just demotivated and fucking scared of another attack."

Kylo gulped down hard as he heard the pilots explanation. "So...What is the resolution?"

"The resistance is gone." Poe just stated.

Rey and Kylo both yelled a: "WHAT?" into the screen.

Poe rubbed his eyes, which had dark circles under them. "It's fucking gone. Several people couldn't bear it anymore and fled, scared of another attack. Others stayed here and decided to hold the resistance base, but promised to have you executed or at least shot down if you'd come near this planet.  
Several more decided to snitch away ships and keep searching for a new base, still undecided if they would be neutral or friendly towards you.  
Yes and some others - and here comes my part - decided to steal all the important data from the resistance, their best ships and got together several other people who are totally supporting you two. We just have to pick you up and then, I don't know yet, fly somewhere else and make some new plans. Settle down for a moment. Right now we are orbiting in space one lightspeed jump away from you, as we didn't want to be too far away in case you survived, which you fortunately did."

Rey's head fell down into both her hands and she cursed. "What the fucking hell. Are they all crazy over there? I can't believe this. This is a catastrophe Poe!  
How shall we ever, really fucking ever defeat the First Order with three and a half people left? Oh, maker!"

Kylo brushed Rey's back a little, trying to calm her down. "Thanks for informing us Poe. This certainly sounds like a worst case scenario for you.  
You know how I think about the Resistance, but I understand how this is tactically the worst time for them to break apart. So yes. You can pick us up and we'll decide together what we'll do afterwards. Meanwhile, you could scan for other planets which have neutral political ground as we have to disappear for some time until we have a plan." he pondered.

"Yes, that's what we also thought. Disappearing for some time. Maybe it's actually good we are not that much of a big group anymore right now. It's much harder to be found like that. Ah and Kylo. There is something more I wanted to tell you. You know this little girl you saved from this big ass worm on the base?"

Kylo's eyes widened at Poe mentioning her, as he feared the worst. "Both her parents were shot down by the Supremacy. Actually, lots of pilots died today. She cried since then and we weren't able to calm her down. I tried to cheer her up and in the end, we decided to take her with us, as nobody else felt responsible right now.  
An hour ago she asked for you. She is pretty traumatized and asked if you and Rey at least survived."

Kylo gulped down and his mouth suddenly felt dry. "Uhm. Okay. Sorry to hear about her parents. What is her name actually? I never asked her."

"She is called Nima." Poe answered, eyes fixed on Kylo.  
Kylo nodded and asked. "Would you get her? I'll talk to her. Or at least I try. I am not good at this. Seriously."  
Rey looked at him surprised but then smiled slightly as she didn't think he would suggest this.

Poe nodded and stood up. After some time he came back with the girl and put her on his lap. She had red puffy eyes and her hair was a mess. She was still crying.  
The pilot whispered something in her ear and pointed towards the hologram.  
The girl looked up, with tears on her face and it lit up the second she saw Rey and Kylo.  
"You are alive!" she yelled out and tried to grab the hologram. Poe put her hands away, as she was about to rip it down.

Kylo looked a little helpless to Rey, but then answered: "Yes. Yes, we are. Do Poe and Finn take good care of you?" She nodded, but then a tear fell down her cheek again.  
Poe tried to soothe her as he patted her back. "Rey?" she sniffled. "Yes?" she answered.  
"My parents are not coming back, the others told me. Can you and Kylo bring them back?"

Rey looked with a sad glance over at the girl and shook her head. "I am so sorry Nima. We can't. I am so sorry."  
The girl started crying again. "So they are dead? Forever?"  
Kylo knit his eyebrows together. "Nima. My parents are also dead. You have to live through that. It happens every day."  
The girl gasped and looked at him with wide eyes.

Poe's and Rey's head turned in utter shock towards Kylo as they opened their mouths to protest at his harsh words.  
But he kept on talking: "You know how strong Rey is, don't you? She showed me something while training today, which helped me a lot when I was sad.  
Do you someday also want to be as strong as she is?"

Nima nodded with tears in her eyes.  
"Ok, who is the person you like the most on the ship you are on? And don't say my name, I am not there right now."  
The girl pondered for a moment, then she blurted out: "Finn!"  
"Ok. So after we talked, you go to Finn and then you embrace him as long and as hard you can. Got that?" he asked her.  
She nodded. "Ok, and if you feel like you want to, you cry as much as you like. You can also punch a wall, or destroy some of his stuff. You will feel much better after that.  
And when you are done, you wait for Rey and me, we'll come by soon. Then we'll talk about how it is to live without parents okay?" he asked her.

She was completely still for several seconds and Rey thought Kylo has totally destroyed her with what he said. But after some time she grinned a little and asked:  
"Is this was Jedi do?"  
Kylo nodded. "Yes, they do that. They cry when they are sad. And they ask for help if they need some."  
Nima now jumped up from Poe's lap and waved Rey and Kylo a goodbye.  
"I will go to Finn. I wait for you." then she rushed out of the room.

Rey and Poe looked absolutely baffled at each other until the pilot said: "Man, this was... I don't know. You basically told a seven year old girl to just deal with her parent's death and suck it up!"

Kylo just shrugged his shoulders and said: "Sure. This is war. There is no happy end for everyone. She has to learn that."  
"Yeah, but it was really harsh." Poe replied. Kylo just stared at him with a mixture of anger and confusion until Rey broke the tension up:  
"Ok, so whatever this was right now. Nima smiled when she walked away. So obviously it helped her for now.  
Poe when do you think your ship will arrive? Where shall we wait to get picked up?"


	41. Chapter 41: Friend

Just wanted to let you know, I saw The last Jedi at the cinema yesterday.  
I don't know how I'd describe the experience. I'll wait for the Blu-ray to come out and watch it again then, maybe I'll change my mind later.  
There were some really incredible and good visual moments in it, where I gasped from surprise, also several nice, or unexpected twists.  
But also lots of loose ends, plotholes, bad humour, unnecessary characters and scenes and so on.  
I'll stick with my story where I am right now after The force awakens. I'll just pretend The last Jedi didn't come out yet.  
But I might steal some of the better ideas from the movie :)

0000000000

"I'll pick you two up in about six hours - wait a second." Poe clicked around somewhere on his control pad, obviously searching for something. "Ah, there it is. Ok, I'll get you right from the place where you are now. I can land the ship at the hangar if they'll give me permission. Just make sure you'll be there on time. All right?" Rey nodded approvingly and gave him a thumbs up. "Ah and sweethearts I got some more news for you. Still know this silver trooper captain we caught on the Supremacy?"  
"Yeah. What about her?" Kylo asked suspiciously.  
"She kind of begged us to take her with us as she knew where going to search for you two. She told us she can't and won't go back to the First Order anymore and that she is absolutely loyal to you and your plans Kylo. She said we should ask you about it and you would confirm what she said. Right now she is restrained as we don't know what to do with her. Is she shitting us, or does she speak the thruth?"  
Poe asked with raised eyebrows.

Kylo pondered a moment about it and answered: "She is loyal to me. And yes there is no way for her to go back as she would be executed on sight. I'd say you can uncuff her, she won't do anything."

"Ok. If you say so. I trust you man. We're getting you out there in several hours then. See you soon!" Poe waved at the camera and shut down the hologram.  
Rey felt this slight stab in her chest, but she understood why Kylo trusted Phasma as she obviously kept a secret for years and helped him.

They shut down their communication too and she turned around on Kylo's lap, facing him. "So we'll stay here in this small booth for the next six hours, which I actually wouldn't mind, but surely somebody will find out. Or we'll go out and search for something quiet. You know? Somewhere without further incident, no explosions, nor fighting. Just six hours of doing nothing at all."

Kylo raised an eyebrow at her and boldly stated: "Six hours without incidents? That won't work with you around."  
"Hey! That's mean!" she smirked and took his face into her hands to kiss him, while she turned around and shoved her knee kinkily between his legs.  
He looked up at her and grabbed her hips while kissing back and running his hands down her legs to feel her newly acquired clothing.

When he groaned in her mouth, as she was pressing more against him, she giggled a little: "These clothes are really doing it for you, aren't they?"  
They parted a little and he watched her until he said: "They might. But it's more the woman underneath who does it for me.  
Watching you eat a chocolate bar while wearing these things. This would be perfection! "

Rey's head fell back with laughter and she planted another small kiss on his lips. "Ok, I'll promise I'll do that someday for you."  
"Looking forward to it." he stated with a wink as he stood up and they both left the cabin.

There were still masses of people and aliens outside, running in every direction. He took her hand and they both left the hangar, pressing through all these people.  
When they were finally out of it he let her hand go and they looked around to decide where they should wait. But then a humanoid droid walked up to Rey and tipped onto her shoulder. She looked puzzled at him and waited for him to do something.

He pulled up his arm and Kylo already had his hand on his lightsaber, but then the droid just dropped a small paper in Rey's hand and instantly walked away.  
Kylo pulled his hand away from his saber, as it was obviously no attack, but he scurried closer to Rey and looked over her shoulder as she unfolded the paper while mumbling: "What is that now about?"

 **"Meet me outside the gate you came in today. M."** was written on it.  
Rey looked up to Kylo, who looked also puzzled. Then he shook his head and stated: "No incidents. Remember? It's just six hours!"  
She turned the paper around in her hands, looking if there was something else to see. "But...Why would anybody contact me like that? Who is M.?"  
"Don't know, don't care." Kylo boldly answered.  
Rey's eyes wandered around to search for the droid again. But he was gone. She took two steps forward.  
"But...What if it's important?" she blurted out. "But...What if it's a trap?" Kylo mimicked her.

She answered him through their bond: _"We are some damn force user's Kylo. I think we can handle traps."  
_ Kylo closed his eyes for several seconds, then opened them again with a pressing glance: _"Ok. Go on. This is on your head."_

She grinned and nearly jumped up at his go, as she instantly started to walk in the direction they originally came from.  
Kylo followed her hesitantly, as he didn't share her enthusiasm about the message.

When they reached the gate again, they walked through it and looked around. Nobody was there. Just the two guards who Rey mind probed before today.  
Just when Rey wanted to take a step forward a small droid drove against her leg two times and started to beep furiously as he darted into the woods.  
She turned around to look at Kylo puzzled, who just shrugged his shoulders and followed the small thing into the forest. It kept on beeping to follow them,  
which they did, while both force users had a hand on their sabers in case someone ambushes them.

When they were so far away, they couldn't see the guards anymore between all these trees, the droid suddenly stopped in front of them and beeped again like he was excited.  
Then it projected a hologram above itself of a small person with big glasses.  
"MAZ?!" Rey and Kylo instantly yelped out. Maz looked from Rey to Kylo back and forth, while she was adjusting her glasses. "Rey! Good, my droid found you! And you - "  
she turned to Kylo now: "You, I didn't expect Ben Solo! You have been really really bad these last years. If you'd been my kid, you'd get a good ass whooping for that!  
But I'll guess Han and Leia will take care of it." Rey opened her mouth in disbelief, as Maz obviously didn't know what happened to Han and Leia, but before she could say something Kylo sent her through their bond: _"Don't tell her!"_

So Maz continued: "I heard news from my informants that your base had to move from D'Qar? I wasn't able to acquire any informations about your recent stay, but my droid found you Rey, so I told him to bring you along. So girl, what happened over there?"  
Rey shuffled her feet slightly, trying to find some words: "So uhm, the base was attacked by the First Order. Twice actually. Ky...Ben helped to defend it. Actually right now there were huge fights about the direction the resistance is going to go now. Which basically lead to its disbandment. We are only a really small group of people left, fighting for the main goals of destroying the First Order and Snoke and we need somewhere to stay and be invisible for a certain amount of time. You have any idea where to go?"

"Yes. Yes. My castle. Got a warm bed for everyone!" Maz laughed.

"But the First Order will surely find us there. They already did as you experienced before." Rey asked suspiciously.  
"No, they won't." Kylo answered. Rey and Maz looked at him as he continued: "The First Order just tracked the Falcon down last time. They don't know about any connections of you or your castle to the resistance. As we are a small group of people and not a whole fleet, there won't be any suspicion rising up.  
Nobody knows me without my mask, and the few people, except for Snoke, who knew about you Rey are already dead. So nobody can rat us out.  
Sounds good enough to me."

"That sounds like a solid plan. So sweethearts, I've got the drinks ready, you just got to move your asses over here. Over and out!" Maz chirped and shut down the hologram.  
Kylo huffed at this, while Rey clapped her hands together in joy. She turned around and asked: "Isn't this great? We already got a place to stay after we got picked up.  
Why did you know her actually?"

"She knew me as a child. Ha...My father took me there sometimes back then when he was making deals with others smugglers." Kylo answered as they walked back to the glass domes slowly.  
Rey raised her eyebrows: "He took you with him to his smuggling trips? This doesn't sound like somewhere a child should be."  
Kylo's face got a little grim as he said: "Obviously not." then he stomped to the guards who waited at the door and ordered them through the force to let them pass again.

They did and Rey and he entered and decided to wait near the hangar again. They found a pretty quiet spot on a balcony on some kind of shopping mall, where they just stayed for the remaining time and talked about the trips Kylo had with Han, which sounded either funny or utterly disturbing from a child's perspective.  
Rey also talked about several things she experienced as a child and he was surprised at her sheer stubbornness and bravery to survive alone from this young age on.  
When she explained to him how she taught herself to read, to fly and how to build things like her speeder through books and old holo pads she found, he asked her in utter amazement about the details, which she happily gave him. She was angry about not knowing who her parents were and he made a mental note to someday search for clues about them together with her.

While they were in the middle of their conversation, asking each other about events from their childhood Rey suddenly stopped and informed him about their waiting time being practically over, so they should head back to the hangar. While listening to her stories he had totally forgotten about the time as he found it most interesting to know all these things about her. Of course, he could just take all of these informations if he'd pried into her mind, but he liked it much more to hear it from herself.

When they entered the hangar, Kylo was on edge again from all these people surrounding them, so they waited at the landing platform for the leftover rebels to land.  
They stayed there for about fifteen minutes, watching ships land and fly off every other minute as they looked for their transport. They didn't know which one it will be,  
so they had to look closely at everyone who was landing there.  
After some time Kylo stated: "They are here, next ship will be ours."  
Rey asked through their bond: _"You used the force for knowing that already didn't you? You gotta to teach me that!"  
_ He grinned slightly and put a hand on her neck, pulling her a little closer. While doing so he let his force flow through her, to show her how he can feel the others like Poe and Finn while also explaining it to her silently. She just nodded and tried for herself and she could make out Finn's energy signature nearby, but not exactly from where it came.  
Rey smiled wildly at him, thanking him for her silent training lesson she just got in secret as nobody could see what they were doing.

When the ship with the remaining rebels landed Rey and Kylo positioned themselves on the right platform so they could board the ship immediately. It was about the size of the falcon, slightly bigger and luckily ordinary so it wouldn't draw any unwanted attention.  
The ship took off after boarding and Finn and Poe approached them cheering and hugging Rey while making jokes about her outfit but in the end complimenting her for it.  
Kylo got some unwanted pats on his back, while they apologized for the loss of Leia, which he pretty much shrugged off as he was not in the mood to talk about it.

They all together entered the main room to see the other leftover rebels. They were surprisingly greeted by Chewbacca, Phasma, Nima and eight other people. All of the people were with them in the throne room actually and also some ones who watched Rey and Kylo train back on the base together.

When Kylo saw Chewie, he flinched a little until the beast roared:  
 _"Little Ben! The others told me, I believe them. I am sorry I tried to shoot you. It won't happen again!"_

Kylo's eyebrows scrunched together and he mumbled: "Thanks, Chewie. Appreciate it." and then was instantly jumped by Nima, who wore Finn's jacket, which was of course much too big for her. She just wrapped her arms around his hips and cried into him while she repeated over and over again: "You came back! You came back!

He looked baffled and a little helpless at Rey, to which she just reassuringly nodded and grinned.  
So Kylo bowed himself down and picked Nima up, so she could wrap her arms around his neck and cry on his shoulders.  
He whispered some things into her ear, to which she nodded several times and then Nima showed him Finn's jacket she was wearing while she was sobbing after every other word.

Rey watched them both as her heart felt like it was getting so warm from this scene it might melt any second, but also maybe because Chewie held her in such a tight embrace that she felt herself sweating from all the fur around her.  
Then she looked a little disgruntled over to Phasma, who sat on a bench watching their arrival silently with the other rebels, as Rey felt this slight stab of jealousy coming back again.  
So she did something which of course didn't have anything at all to do with how Phasma was eyeing Kylo right now.

Rey walked over to Nima and Kylo, greeted the little girl with an embrace, while she was still on his arm and then planted a kiss on Kylo's cheek, to which he turned his head over, so she took the oppurtunity to give him another kiss on his lips but this time a little longer. He now looked a little puzzled while mumbling a questioningly: "Ok?" to her, as she was acting strange and this kiss seemed a little out of nowhere.

She grinned at him and turned around walking back to Finn and Poe, talking about their plan with Maz.  
But just before she left the room again, Rey couldn't help but have a short glance over to Phasma who was glowering at her, which gave her a slight satisfaction.


	42. Chapter 42: Going back

When Rey told Finn and Poe about the invitation to Maz's castle on Takodana, they were sceptical at first, like she was before. But she explained to them what Kylo told her, so after some more discussion and weighing out their chances they agreed to it and staged a meeting with everyone in the main room of the ship.

When they entered the room the other rebels sat together and were talking furiously with each other about the recent events. Kylo still had Nima on his arms, as she had fallen asleep on his lap, while he was sitting down on a bench next to - _and Rey felt anger flaring up in her stomach_ \- Phasma, discussing something with her.

Rey tried to gulp the anger down and swore to herself that she is going to talk with Kylo about it when she has the time, as she felt it's bugging her too much to play it off.  
So she sat down with the other rebels and waited for Poe to begin, while she stared over to Kylo and Phasma who still discussed something.  
She could make out some scraps of the conversation and was positively reassured as they just seemed to talk about possible tactics from the leftover generals on the other First Order ships.

Finn also sat down next to Rey and they listened to Poe who started to explain their plans: "So guys and _ladies!_ " he said while grinning over to Rey in her fancy dress.  
"An old friend of Han Solo contacted Rey today about the attack on our base. She invited us over to her planet Takodana as it is on neutral terrain and the First Order will not expect us to be there. Also, we are luckily not a big enough target with just fifteen people here moving around. So this means, it's possible to stay there for some time without anyone noticing us as the leftover resistance members. I know this sounds like hiding, which it actually is. But we need time to breathe and to come up with new tactics. So this is the best chance we can get right now."

There was chattering between the rebels as they talked about this new information. Everyone was relieved that there was at least some kind of plan for the next days.

Rey looked over at Phasma one more time. She was again in the middle of a conversation until Kylo stood up and nodded to the former captain, still having the sleeping Nima on his arms. He went over to Finn and they exchanged some words until Kylo heaved the girl over and thanked him, while Finn disappeared into the quarters with her.  
Finally, he turned around and walked back to Rey, to sit across her at the table.

His eyes looked slightly darker than usual and he brushed through his hair before sitting down. She smiled a bit as he brushed his index finger on the back of her hand, drawing small circles on it before talking: "So the flight will take about twelve hours. I'm pretty exhausted after this whole day and I can't stand to see any more people right now. Actually, I would like to just be alone with you at this moment."

Rey couldn't help but see Phasma from the corner of her eye watching them, which made her feel uncomfortable.  
But as it was Kylo now who came to her, nearly begging to have some "Alone time" with Rey, to which she felt absolutely relieved as she wanted it too, she instantly jumped up and dragged him into the quarters.

They closed the door and pretty much stripped down all their clothing and threw it lazily across the whole room, but left on their underwear.  
Just now was Kylo able to see Rey with the whole set of lingerie she wore and he couldn't help but smirk and pull her to him to give her a long, loving kiss.  
When they parted, he again stared at her from top to bottom and send her through the bond: _"You look so unbelievably beautiful!_

 _Under any other circumstances, I'd..._ " Rey interrupted him: _"I know what you are gonna say, don't! This was just for cheering you up a little, not for seducing you today.  
I'll wear these things for you some other time when our heads are free and we're not in the middle of grieving. Okay?"_

He smiled slightly at her and rested his chin on her head, while stroking her sides: "This certainly cheered me up a little. Thank you."  
She got rid of the stockings and the gloves, as well as the bra, so she was just left with her panties but then put on Kylo's shirt he relentlessly threw away on the floor before.

It still smelled like burned wood, blood and something else she couldn't get a grip on the first time he gave her some of his clothing back in the desert. By now she knew it smelled like chocolate back then, which it doesn't anymore as he didn't have any chocolate bars with him since he gave her his last one. Now it smelled like hazelnuts which was equally nice.

He eyed her for a second until he stated: "That's mine." She just turned around in this oversized thing, looking something between ridiculous and sweet and smiled back:  
"So what?" He squeezed his eyes together slightly thinking of an answer and decided he didn't know why he even commented it in the first place, but then took her hand and pulled her on the bed to lay on top of him.  
When they both laid there she examined his wound he got this morning when the Falcon crashed against the energy shield. She was satisfied with herself as it was really well healed already and she drew her fingers around the red mark on his skin.

"You became extremely good with healing already. I wonder how it is possible that you are learning certain techniques so fast. It seems kind of abnormal to me." he pondered as his chin rested on her head, whilst he brushed her hair.  
"Every action I did with the force were things you showed me through our bond first. Except for the thing I did when you died. I've got the feeling it has something to do with our connection." she answered, while she also started to think about it.  
"This is a pretty interesting idea. I thought about this possibility too and tried to find out more about it since we grew closer, but there is no data to be found about it.  
Just some legends, but no hard facts." he pointed out.

"When we were on Ahch-To Luke told me about some old Jedi books he possesses. He told me he'd show them to me in one of our next sessions. But then the base was attacked and we left and there was no next session. Maybe we'll be able to find answers in there."

Kylo's eyes grew wide in realization: "Of course! The sacred texts. He still has them? I thought they were destroyed when I...Snoke burned down his temple.  
I never got to read them, but they contain pretty much everything someone needs to know about the force. At least about the light side. Which is not enough of course.  
But it's a start." Rey's head came up and she looked at him with a wide grin: "Kylo, I think we need to work on this bond. I have the feeling it benefits us both extremely if we work together, like you teaching me things through it, while I am able to bring you back from the dark side or even from the dead actually. I think we are the strongest if the bond is in perfect sync and it is possible we can amplify our force with that."

He glanced at her for some seconds then stated: "You might be right. Still I have my doubts about it working like you think it will if we are on opposite sides of the force.  
We should go back to Ahch-To, read these texts and train focused on this bond. I know I shut you out today while I fought Snoke. I had no chance, as he was hammering against my mind the whole time. If I'd be able to shut him out but let you in at the same time we would surely have a better chance."

"So it's a decided thing? We're going back to Luke?" she asked him with hope in her eyes.  
He stroked her cheek and answered: "Yes. And then we're going to crush Snoke, until his body is no more than a pile of dust. Ending his reign of terror."  
She grinned at that and kissed him, then they fell asleep on top of each other after planning out their journey back to Luke more in detail.

Somewhen in the middle of they night Rey woke up as she felt something poking her chest. She lazily scratched at it, until she realized it was a piece of paper in Kylo's inside pocket of his shirt. She pulled it out and realized it's the one she gave him when he was still unconscious and she went on the mission with Finn to search for a new base.  
It was dirty and a little bit torn, as if he always had it with him while fighting, bleeding or falling into water. When she opened it she saw her own handwriting and the small heart she had scribbled next to her name. Over the heart were dark smudges of dirt and blood, like he had brushed his thumb over it several times.  
But it was still the same note.

Her eyes got a little teary at that and she put it back where it was and snuggled into him, grinning wildly at knowing this.

When they woke up again the ship was still flying as they hadn't reached Takodana by now. Rey and Kylo dressed again, or at least tried to, while Kylo had to play-fight with her a little to get his shirt back. When he finally did she wore a pout on her face and threw the dress she was supposed to wear angrily on the floor until he asked her about it. She admitted that she now felt ridiculously overdressed after they left the planet with all these rich people and that this "damn bitch of some sales-woman" actually destroyed her old clothes and that everyone again will laugh at her on Takodana.

Kylo looked at her and just stated: "Ok. So let's do something about it." as he picked up his saber, ignited it and set the dress on the floor aflame.  
She yelped and grabbed his wrist as she tried to stop him, but it was already too late the dress burning brightly under her eyes. "NOO! I don't have anything else to wear!"  
she yelled at him.

"Then you have to go out in your lingerie I suppose. I wouldn't mind." he grinned at her. She stopped for a moment and grew completely red as she snapped:  
"You can't be fucking serious about that?"  
"Maybe I am." he said as he left the room.

She stood there with an open mouth and nothing to wear, pulling a blanket around her to have at least something except for her panty.  
She got so angry that she grabbed the nearest thing she found, which was a lamp and yelled at him while throwing it into his direction as he walked down the corridor into the big common room.  
Meanwhile, Poe sat at a table with several other people, drinking his morning coffee as he read a holo-pad and he just looked up when he heard Rey yelling.  
The lamp she just threw flew directly in the direction of Kylo's back of the head but he just stepped aside the last second and it crashed into Poe's mug which was placed in front of him on the table. All the liquid which was in it before now splashed onto the pilot's clothes, so he jumped up startled and cried out: "What the fuck Rey?!"

"Kylo I swear! I'm gonna throw something else!" she yelled angrily while she stood in the corridor, not daring to walk into the bigger room half naked where all the others sat.  
He smugly strolled over to a cabinet on the wall and opened several drawers while he yelled back: "You gotta come here to throw something."  
She was silent for several seconds then yelled back: "No! I don't." as things on Kylo's right side just started to fly by themselves full speed into his direction which he dodged easily before they crushed into the wall next to him.

When he got some clothes from the drawers he was rummaging through, he closed the cabinet again and strolled back.  
Poe threw his arms into the air and cried out in frustration: "What the hell did you do this time?"  
"I burned her clothes to the ground." Kylo stated as he stood still for a second.

"What the? I don't. Ok fuck it I don't care. Can't you just fight like a normal couple? Without your force thingy destroying my ship?" Poe uttered in disbelief.  
"Where would be the fun in it?" Kylo answered as he went back to her while she was standing in the door with crossed arms insulting him the whole time. She instantly stopped when she saw the folded new clothes he held in his hands and her face turned deeply red in shame as she knew he was toying with her and she totally fell for it.


	43. Chapter 43: Tool

Rey's face was still red as she ripped the clothes from Kylo's arms while she walked back into the room, putting them on hastily.  
Kylo closed the door behind them and sat on the bed, watching her get dressed. "You seem to be on edge since yesterday. I know a lot absolutely horrible things happened in a short amount of time, but there's more to it, isn't it?"

Rey turned around and looked at Kylo. She really was on edge, she didn't realize it herself this much before but her mood changed minutely from loving him to being angry at him, to clinging to him.  
She put the last piece of clothing on without answering and felt herself being comfortable in the black trousers and beige shirt she wore right now.  
He stayed silent for the time and waited for her to be done. Finally, she sat down next to him as she thought long enough about why she acted that way and asked with a slightly shaky voice: "Can I show you? I've seen things on the Supremacy and I don't know how to cope with it. I think they are gnawing at me since then."

He looked now a little worried, thinking she meant him slipping into the depths of the dark side when he went on to destroy the ship and used force lightning.  
He answered really quietly: "Sure." and bowed a little over to her, so she can touch his temples better to show him.

She did and pictures of the scenes she saw in Phasma's head flushed his mind. Him trusting Phasma with his secret, the kiss and in the end the moment she asked Phasma if loved him, which she affirmed.  
She let her hands fall down into her lap and looked down at them in shame, as she didn't feel like this should be bothering her this much.  
Kylo's eyes widened in shock and he stated: "I didn't know she feels this way about me. This kiss happened about five years ago actually. I got her placed onto another ship for three years after that as I didn't have the nerve dealing with this. Nothing ever happened again after that."

Rey looked at him also slightly shocked right now: "Five years? That's long. I thought it wasn't that long ago as she instantly said yes when I asked her about you.  
Do you still have feelings for her?"

He snorted: "Still? Do you think I ever had some for her? Phasma's solely slipped into my insanely small circle of trust, as she had accidentally seen me at my weakest point. Back then I gave her the choice to shut up about it or get killed by me. Actually, I gave that choice to several other's before as this wasn't the first time I fucked up.  
How many do you think promised me to hold their word? How many do you think of them are still alive? They are all dead. Nobody kept their word or even promised me to do it. Phasma was the only one. She didn't tell anyone a word about it and even started to support me,  
as far as erasing my tracks about the betrayal I already started back then to Snoke.

There was a long time, where we shared this secret, had a mutual trust about these missions and she obviously read this kind of trust differently than I did.  
For me it was about survival, trying to figure out Snoke, finally deciding to kill him when I'd be strong enough. She obviously was misguided by her feelings as she thought this level of trust meant something emotional. Which it never did. For me, she pretty much was a tool making it slightly easier to avoid being found out."

Then he stopped for a moment and thought about what he said and opened his mouth again while rubbing his forehead a little:  
"Ok sorry. I babbled around it too much. To make it short: No. I never had, don't have, never will have feelings for her."

Rey looked at him with slightly glistening eyes and answered after some time: "I...I am sorry I reacted like that. I just had this feeling in my stomach.  
It made me sick. When I saw her memories, her feelings for you. I got scared of losing you, not in a dying kind of way as you are nearly getting yourself killed every day,  
to which I'm kind of used by now. But in an emotional context." She smiled a little at that. "I got actually just fucking jealous. This is such a stupid and unnecessary feeling."

He eyed her for some seconds as she started to nervously fumble with her fingers, then he took her hand in his and pulled her a little forward so she would look at him,  
faces just centimetres apart.  
"Rey, I don't know if you also got a metal part of the ship onto your head when we crashed and forgot, but do you remember I told I'd ask you to marry me someday?  
This was not a cruel joke in the moment of our certain deaths by me. I meant this. I was scared, yes even horrified of not having a future with you anymore as the sole thing I want to do for the rest of my life is wake up next to you and see your smiling face, knowing you are safe.  
You are my light, remember? We are bonded, there is no way to have this kind of deep connection with any other human in the whole galaxy. Except for these obvious things we fucking love each other like mad people. We make insanely stupid decisions to save the other one from getting killed."

She stared at him for seconds or even minutes. She didn't know how long she stared to process his words. Then one tear rolled down her cheek.  
And another one after the first. Then they streamed freely down as she crushed into Kylo and embraced him. "I'm not used for people to stay with me. Normally they leave me and throw me away like junk. I...I am overwhelmed by your words. They mean so much to me. I can't even start to describe how much they do. No, of course, I didn't forget what you said. I was also scared as hell to not see you again, dying at this moment. Even more, after Snoke got us and raised your saber against us. The last thing I wanted to see before I'd die were your eyes. Which kind of didn't work, as they were really creepy and yellow." she laughed a bit at that. "But at least I got to see them again as we didn't die because of you saving us and yourself."

He took her head and kissed her forehead: "No we didn't. We might someday. Any day actually. But let's seize the days we have. Let's just use our bond more for understanding each other. So no bad feelings rile up inside this sweet head of yours until it explodes. I'm pretty much an open book to you already you can tell me such things anytime or even pry into my mind if you ask first."

She pulled her head away and nodded. "Ok, then I want to ask something more. It will sound crazy."  
"Do it." he looked at her expectantly.

"Do you think you'd be able to find all these children you cut off from the force again and redo it? I saw what you did with them in Phasma's mind." she questioned him.  
He looked a little baffled at the change of the topic and speculated: "Uhm. I never thought about that, as I told them all to go to the Outer Rim and made sure they'd never be found by Snoke or the First Order. I hope they just vanished somewhere. Actually, I don't know if I'd be able to redo it. Let alone find them. Why do you want to know?"

"If you plan on staying with me until we're old and wrinkly we'd have plenty of time after killing Snoke. As there is no Jedi Academy anymore and we are pretty much the last force users in the galaxy then, except for Luke of course, there must be someone who'd teach these kids. There might even be more than the ones you or Snoke already found." she stated as her eyes started to glow with hope.

Kylo breathed in loud, then shakily out again as he looked at her in deep concentration. "You want us two to open up a new Jedi Academy, training younglings?"

"Yes." she answered plainly.

"We are on different sides of the force. This will never work." he replied.

"This obviously doesn't affect our relationship, nor our bond nor your decision to do the right things, to have compassion. And who says which side is the right one?  
Shouldn't force users be allowed to find this out themselves? Without being manipulated by such a dark entity as Snoke did with you, when you realized you were on the wrong side of the force as Luke dogmatically tried to teach you? What if there's a place to guide these kids, to be there for them for whatever side they feel drawn to.  
Nobody would get lost or left out, nobody would be limited in their force, but trained to do the right thing, using their power to aid people, to protect what they love,  
to be at peace with themselves as it doesn't matter if it's the light side or the dark side anymore.  
Hell, you are a dark side user when it comes to the force, but your mind is the sweetest caring thing ever. It's not just a dark is bad, light is good thing anymore."  
Rey explained to him.

Kylo was now the one who was staring at her for the longest of time, as his heart hammered against his chest while his mind repeated the scenes of Luke's burning academy he destroyed years ago. _Was he able to make up for what he did? Would anybody want to be trained by him? At least Rey does. Would her concept work as she imagined it? What are these force users then, if they'd be able to use both sides?_ _If it didn't matter if it's the light, or the dark side anymore? What would it be? Grey?  
_  
He glanced back onto her hands as he brushed his thumb in her palm, mostly to reassure himself.  
Then he looked up again, as he made up his mind and answered while drilled holes in her eyes with his: "When Snoke is killed, the galaxy is stripped of the reign of the First Order and we both are still alive by then, we are going to search for these children and rebuild what I have destroyed. This will be our destiny."


	44. Chapter 44: Pregnant

Poe landed the stolen rebel ship in the forest of Takodana as everyone got out and walked towards the castle.  
The building was unprofessionally repaired, several parts and the big statue of Maz were still missing, but it looked like it was in service again.

When they walked to the front yard of the castle Kylo messaged Rey through their bond:  
 _"Did I actually ever tell you what I did after I rendered you unconscious in the forest?"_ She turned her head around to and glanced at him suspiciously: _"Uhm no?"  
_ _"I carried you bridal style through the battlefield to my ship. Right there."_ he nodded over to a place between several stonewalls while grinning slightly.

Rey stopped abruptly and looked at the place, then back to Kylo and gasped: "Seriously? That's crazy even by your standards!"  
out loud while Finn nearly walked into her. _  
_Kylo just shrugged his shoulders, laughed and answered in her mind: _  
"I felt the force flowing strongly in you, which instantly sparked my interest, so I decided to carry you myself and not let any stormtrooper do it."_ he paused for a moment and added: _"I also might just wanted to look at your face for some time."_

 _"At least you could look at my face. I couldn't as you were hiding behind your mask. I bet you blushed back then when you saw my overwhelming beauty!"_ she silently added with sarcasm dripping into his mind.

"No. But you snored." he added, this time aloud.

Rey snorted at that and nudged his arm while she muttered: "You are unbelievable."

Finn now commented slightly unnerved: "Are you two talking through your bond? Your conversation doesn't make any sense at all."  
Rey turned around, looked at Finn and now had to laugh as she realized it must sound really strange for others when they are listening to Kylo and her, changing between silent and normal conversation the whole time.

"Yeah sorry. I forgot it sounds strange for others." Rey apologized to him.  
"It does, I didn't know you could do that!" Phasma stated seemingly amazed. Rey watched her and smiled back unsurely, as she wasn't completely over her jealous feelings regarding this woman. But she tried her best to hide them, as Kylo trusted Phasma and obviously didn't plan on running away from Rey with her.

"They can talk through their minds with that bond. And feel each other's pain. Or revive the one another." Finn explained to her.  
Kylo turned around to Finn and commented: "We don't know if we can revive each other every time we die. If we'd be able to, we'd be near immortal.  
I highly doubt that. It was certainly a one-time thing. I prefer not to die anymore as I wouldn't like to gamble on it working again, or if I'd be even able to do this to Rey  
as I am not on the light side of the force."

Phasma's eyes widened: "You died? When did that happen?" Kylo's eyes wandered to her as he answered: "Yes. One of my knights killed me on D-Qar. Rey saved my life."  
"That's incredibly Rey!" Phasma nearly yelled out to her, obviously excited about this information.  
"Uhm. Yeah. It is I guess. It was nothing actually." Rey answered.  
Kylo brushed the back of her head slightly and gave her a kiss on the forehead as he told her how proud he is for what she did, while also scolding her to give herself more credit for it, when the door to the castle flew open and Maz was dragging an alien looking creature out yelling in another language at it.

The alien just scrambled away from her as fast as it was able to, then Maz turned around and saw the arriving group of rebels and Kylo in the middle of giving Rey a kiss on the forehead. Maz rushed forward with open arms and yelled: "Beeeen Solo! So your mother is getting grandchildren after all?  
She always told me she wanted some!"  
Then she lowered her voice to Rey and said: "You got yourself some naughty boy! Watch out for him, he likes to get in trouble!"

Everyone went absolutely silent and looked at Maz in utter shock. Even Kylo seemed baffled and at a loss for words.  
Rey was the first to speak again: "Ok Maz. We maybe want to go inside for this. Do you have a secluded area where we could talk?"

Maz now adjusted her glasses to Rey and came closer as she asked: "So you are already? Which month? Shouldn't you two take some more time for that?  
I mean you couldn't have known each other for so long judging by..."  
"Maz!" Kylo interrupted her harshly. "She is not pregnant!" He brushed through his hair with an annoyed gesture and closed his eyes for a second.  
"Can we just go inside? Please? I'll tell you what this is all about, but stop asking Rey these things for maker's sake."

Everyone was slightly embarrassed or shocked after Maz's questions, also realizing she doesn't know about Leia's death, so they rushed inside with her and sat down in a secluded area apart from the other guests.  
Before Maz sat down she ordered her droids to bring them drinks on the house, Nima sat next to Kylo on a chair and was nearly too small to reach the table, so her head just stuck out above the tabletop.  
When the droids came back, everyone got a beer and Maz held hers above her head and wanted to propose a toast, until Kylo looked over to Nima, who also held her glass in the air. He snapped the drink out of her hand and sniffed on it for a second, then stated: "Maz. Nima is a child. She doesn't drink beer."

"Ah yes I forgot. We don't have children here so often." Maz answered. Kylo turned around to Nima again, asking her: "What do you like to drink?"  
She pondered for several seconds wobbling around in her chair as if she wasn't able to pick one, then answered: "You decide!"  
Kylo rolled his eyes slightly and turned back to Maz: "Orange juice."

The droid came back with orange juice for Nima, which she happily took and held it in the air again together with Maz, but nobody else did as this whole situation was so abstruse right now.  
When Maz saw that she put her glass down and wondered: "Why these long faces? You all look like you stepped into bantha shit this morning!"

Kylo drew a hand against his face slightly unnerved, then reached out to Maz but hesitated for a second before touching her head:  
"I'd like to show you. Everything. So you'll understand. Be prepared, it's horrible."

Maz face instantly grew serious as she knew he meant, people died. She nodded and answered: "Go for it boy. I can handle everything."  
Kylo's hand reached out to her head and she closed her eyes. Several minutes went by in total silence as everyone watched them, waiting for Maz reaction, as they didn't know if she'd accept Kylo if he showed her what he had done to Han.

Finally, she opened her eyes and he drew his hand back, waiting for her to say something.  
She didn't for a long time and just came closer adjusting her glasses again, while Kylo backed off slightly, even if it was just centimetres.

Rey couldn't bear this silence anymore and babbled out: "He is not responsible Maz. If you have a problem with..." Maz interrupted her as she held out a finger to Rey, silencing her then she turned around and proclaimed:  
"You are on the verge of saving the galaxy and still make these long faces? Of course, it's painful Han and Leia were murdered. Han even by his own son. Which is by the way really, really naughty Ben, I hope he'll bug you about it in his afterlife. But seriously kiddies. That's war. People die all the time. In my age, I have seen so many die in wars before, with a much darker future ahead than yours right now. So you gotta look forward and don't dwell on the past.  
Don't mourn the dead for too long, watch out for the living ones you want to protect. You young people got a bright future ahead, the First Order is crumbling, Snoke lost his most precious toy and you together are the last living Jedi in the galaxy who didn't chicken out and run off to some secluded island at the first sign when you were unsure of your actions. You are all brave people who are going to tear the First Order down, but there will be losses. There always are."

Everyone stared at Maz after her little speech in astonishment, trying to process what she just said. But she was right, Lot's of the highest ranked generals were dead,  
the First Order lost their biggest ship, also Starkiller Base, the knights of Ren as well as most of Snoke's bodyguards, Kylo was able to use force lightning, while Rey's power was developing on an extremely fast level and they just started to explore what their power combined with their bond could archive. So everything was looking pretty good for them. They just didn't see it through all their losses they experienced.

Poe was the first to speak as he said: "Thank you Maz. I think we didn't realize it in all this action and grieve we had these last days and weeks. We are going to bring back the balance to the universe. I am certain of it."  
Everyone started to whisper, then some cheered and put up their glasses, clinking them together. Maz toasted: "To our great war heroes Leia and Han!"  
Chewbacca roared and gulped down his glass as Maz yelled at him:  
"Chewie I still have a bone to pick with you after you left so early last time!" Chewie just grumbled and put his glass down again, seemingly embarrassed.

Rey contacted Kylo through their bond, as she brushed his arm: _"She is right you know. We already achieved so much. We are going to finish this. Together."  
_ Kylo turned around to her and answered silently: _"I'm glad you are all so optimistic, but we still haven't killed Snoke."  
_ She smiled reassuringly at him and clinked their glasses together: _"No we didn't. But we will. And you were the one who said something about seizing the days we have together, sounding all optimistic yesterday. So do it."  
_  
Kylo eyed her for some seconds, then sat back slightly more relaxed than before and pulled her closer to him with one arm as he still held their glasses together.  
He whispered to her: "Hazelnut liqueur for my stubborn scavenger after that one then?"  
She turned red slightly and nodded knowingly she'd get drunk today.

They all drank together until everybody was slightly tipsy or even drunk, sharing stories of their heroic deeds on several missions or making fun of the First Order and Snoke or each other.  
Funnily Finn and Phasma talked a lot that evening and even shared some drinks together, while Finn occasionally brushed her arm when she told something funny.  
On one or two occasions Phasma complimented Rey's skills and told her how the one stormtrooper who freed her back on the Finalizer has absolutely no memory of what had happened when she escaped and was afterwards removed from his duties and damned to work in maintenance.  
Rey laughed at that story and even shared a drink with this woman. Maybe she wasn't so bad and maybe Rey could grow to trust and accept her,  
as Kylo already did with her friends.  
Kylo watched the two woman talk and share stories and couldn't help but smile, as Rey tried to overcome her jealousy while Phasma seemed to accept the relationship between him and Rey.

At some point Kylo realized Nima was getting sleepy, so she picked her up and laid her in a quieter corner of the room as he covered her with Finn's jacket he borrowed from him, staying there for some time as he talked to her. In the end, she embraced him and even gave him a kiss on his cheek saying goodnight, then turned around to sleep.

When he walked back, Rey watched him with this wild gaze in her eyes. " _Kylo my fucking heart always melts when I see you with Nima. This is the sweetest thing I could imagine actually. How could you ever think you are not good with children?"_ she messaged him.

He eyed her and answered: _"I don't know. I feel really unsure when I am around her. I am scared as hell to hurt her."  
_ Rey laughed slightly at his unsureness, which wasn't so unlike him and pulled his head down to hers with both hands to kiss him passionately.  
 _"You are doing perfectly fine. Don't worry, you won't hurt her ever. You are just the sweetest!"  
_ Kylo was a little perplexed at her kissing him so deeply until he saw all these drinks she already had on the table in front of her. After some time he relaxed and just grabbed her too as he pulled her onto his lap, embracing her fully while kissing back, then parting their heads just slightly to brush his thumb at her glistening, swollen lips.  
She breathed heavily and he knew she was totally aroused right now, so he grinned while his eyes pierced into hers as she told him through their bond all the things she'd like to do to him, if they'd be alone right now, while he sent her some of the pictures of the things she just told him about back in much more detail.

"Oi! You two should really get a room right now. You are eye-fucking each other again!" Poe laughed out loud, a little drunk as he pointed with his glass at them.  
"Eye-fucking? What even isss this?" Rey slurred at him.

"You don't know what eye-fucking is? It's when two people stare at each other like they'd be jumping the other person any second across the table. Like you two did right now. I don't even want to know what dirty stuff you talked through this bond of yours." The others now listened to Poe and Rey bickering about this topic and laughed with them, as Rey tried to talk herself out of it. Kylo just smiled and kept silent as he knew Poe was pretty much right about what he said.  
After some discussion with Rey, Poe's head turned to Kylo and he suddenly asked: "You can force choke people. But could you actually force fuck people too?"  
Rey gasped and started to insult Poe at how he even get's these perverse ideas in his head, until Kylo crossed his arms in front of his chest and plainly answered: "Sure."

Rey's head swirled around to him and went red as she excitedly gasped in a high voice: "You can..?" she interrupted herself with a cough and tried to deepen her voice to a normal, non-excited level again while her face went even redder right now, trying to sound as if she was just in the force technique itself interested: "You can really do that?  
That must is a dark side technique. Surely only Sith can use this."

He eyed her and had to hold back a laughter at her red face and her glistening eyes from some lust that just burned so deep in her right now.  
"Want a training lesson?" Kylo smugly answered.  
Finn spluttered his drink on the table as Poe and several others nearly laid on the floor laughing right now while Rey's face went so red she put her hands in front of it,  
to not be seen anymore, hoping she would instantly be swallowed by the ground.

Then she gained pretty much all her confidence together she had left, gulped down the rest of her liquor, jumped up and grabbed Kylo's hand as she surprisingly declared: "Ok. Teach me! Right now! Outside!"  
Then she turned around and eyed Poe: "Poe shut it! Seriously!"  
Poe just held his hand in front of his mouth and waved at her as he kept on laughing.

"This was a joke Rey." Kylo commented with a slightly shocked face.  
"I don't care. We two. Outside. Now!" Rey said with a determining voice, while she let her force flow against him, to let him know how seriously aroused she was and that he really has to come with her right now.

Kylo felt how needy she was right now, so he just stood up and said: "This Padawan is really determined to learn." as he picked her up and slung her over his left shoulder while she jokingly protested. When he walked out, the others were laughing as Rey slipped up both her middle fingers and showed them to Poe while grimacing at him, as he did the same.


	45. Chapter 45: Roof

**Hey there! To the ones who already follow this story: You might have realized I pretty much updated every chapter. Sorry if you got thousands of notifications for it. Just had the feeling, I had to rewrite several parts or solve some plotholes I had. But the story stayed the same, I just changed several sentences. Thank you to the people who reviewed! Gbunny101: Sure there are many more chapters coming :D**

* * *

When Kylo walked out of the secluded room with Rey over his shoulder, she was bickering the whole time about Poe being much too interested in their personal sex life and that she'll someday punch him in his face for this, but not that hard as she didn't want him to be hurt too much. Just a little bit. Maybe a bloody nose would be enough.  
They went through the rest of the bar, where all the other aliens sat and the music was playing loudly. Nobody seemed to care about him carrying a woman around like that as he walked through the door, leaving the bar out into the open.  
He turned around a corner with her, as she giggled asking where he was taking her to and if he already had started as she didn't feel much and that he might be doing it wrong. He snorted and told her through their bond to wait for it.

Kylo reached the side of the castle and put her down onto the feet and instantly pressed her with his whole body against the stonewall behind, kissing her passionately as his hands wandered from the sides to her hips kneading the flesh in anticipation. Rey instantly kissed back as she wildly grabbed a full hand of his hair while she moaned into his mouth and tried to shove her body even more into his.

He parted their heads slightly and she instantly knew he was up to something. She grinned and chuckled: "Oh whatever you are going to do now, Maz is right, you are some damn naughty boy! I know you are planning something!"  
Kylo snorted at that and laid his palm flat on her belly, spreading his fingers out as he torturingly slow drew the hand up to her chest and then let it rest around her neck right under her chin. "Sure I do. I heard of my apprentice's need for another lesson?"

Rey wanted to push herself forward to kiss him again, but he held her back with one hand on her neck against the wall. "Yes. I need another lesson. Really urgently."  
She breathed out as it aroused her insanely how he pressed her back, while she tried to fight it.  
Just when she wanted to say something else, she felt a brush softly against her clit then slowly it started to hum and even vibrate, but she didn't see his hand or anything else down there when she looked at her legs.  
As it became even more now, she gasped and had to lean her head against the wall as this feeling was so intense she was not able to concentrate on anything else anymore or even hold her head upright on her own.

Then it suddenly stopped and she had such a dazy look on her face as she glanced back at Kylo who was slightly biting the left side of his bottom lip watching her.  
"Oh, maker did you just do what I think you did?" she breathed out.  
"Maybe. You'd like to have more of it?" he smugly asked while a grin started to appear on his lips.  
"Of course. And everything else of you too." she grinned back.

He backed off a step and let go of her neck. "Then you have to earn it. I'd be the worst teacher if my apprentice gets her reward without lifting a finger for it."  
She wondered for a second what he meant by that when he just jumped onto a platform about four metres above her head, obviously using the force to reinforce his leap.  
Then he hopped onto another platform above the first and kneeled himself down watching her.  
Rey now heard his deep alluring voice in her head as he messaged her: " _Come on, get your reward. It's up here."_  
She couldn't believe how he was again teasing her in the most arousing way and then even had the guts to stop it to teach her a real lesson in the force she didn't expect at all at this moment. She scurried a little forward to the wall, touching it while looking upwards, realizing how high it was, as she felt her moist pants already through her movements.

" _How_?" she just asked through their bond. She really needed to get up there right now.  
" _Don't think about the height. It doesn't matter how high it is. Think about the point you want to reach and about the ground under your feet._  
 _Imagine yourself being pushed up by the force the moment your feet leave the floor."_ he answered.  
 _  
_Rey did as she was told and succeeded directly at the first try, even if she wasn't high enough to reach the first platform with her feet, so she had to grab on it to not fall down again.  
Kylo was pretty impressed as he really didn't think she'd accomplish it on the first try already. _"Eager aren't we?"_ he commented.  
She glared at him and answered sarcastically: " _Wait till I reach you. My wrath will be your downfall!"  
_ He laughed out loud at that and said: "I like the dark side of you. You should let it out more often Rey."

She jumped and again just barely reached the next platform where Kylo waited for her, grabbing the edge with her hands as she dangled on it.  
He was about to help her, but she grunted as she heaved herself up: "No! I want to do it on my own!"  
When she was finally up she instantly crashed onto Kylo and tried to pin him down to the floor which he allowed her to do. She kneeled above him like a predator,  
one hand gripping into the fabric of his shirt and her knee pressing between his legs against his groin while she hungrily explored his mouth with her tongue.  
He had one hand entangled in her hair and supported himself with his other arm on the ground while he tasted her lips hungrily, amazed at her sudden strength and her willingness to reach him.  
So he decided she might already get partly rewarded as he let the force flow through her most sensitive areas again, making her shiver on top of him and stop their kissing as she closed her eyes and concentrated on what was happening to her. He watched her eyes flutter and her breathing growing erratic as her face reddened with pleasure and small sweat pearls forming on her forehead.  
"Maaaaker. Mmmmhm...Kylo. Fuck." she rasped out.

He watched her in admiration as she kneeled on top of him, getting aroused himself just from watching her facial features shudder over his actions.  
Then she dazedly opened her eyes and slowly whispered: "Stop it."  
He instantly did and asked with a raised eyebrow: "Already exhausted?"  
She fell on top of him and breathed in deeply then propped herself up on her elbows next to his head. She grinned and said: "Oh No. Not at all. This feels otherworldly. How come, we didn't use this before? But I gotta say, I might prefer the real thing. At least when you are right here."

He snorted at that and propped himself up too. "Then let's jump higher onto the roof. Don't want Poe to hear you moan all over the place, he'll tease you about it forever."  
"Maker, I bet he would." she smirked, then stood up and jumped wobbly onto the next platform, barely getting a hold but Kylo shoved her up with the force and followed her as he easily jumped up next to her.  
They did this one more time until they were on the highest point of the castle as they let their bodies fall down onto the floor next to each other, gazing at the stars.  
Rey turned around to Kylo and said: "You know, this reminds me of the day we first kissed on the roof of this bar."  
"You were so incredible that day." Kylo commented. "And still are of course." he added as he brushed his thumb against her temple.  
Rey smirked and turned around, facing him: "And you were glowing with light then. Seriously, I saw it the moment we kissed." She added as he looked at her suspiciously.  
He pulled her to him and smiled: "This must have been some Jedi mind trick then. Also, you were drunken. I'd never turn to the light."  
"Oh you are glowing right now actually." she whispered as she kissed him and slowly buttoned up his trousers.  
She could already feel his member pushing against the pants, as she descended downwards whilst dragged her nails from his chest to his stomach and to his lower abdomen. She stroked the bulk and heard him groaning as he was propped up on his elbows watching her.

She sent him through their bond: _"Just relax, ok?"  
_ Kylo snorted as he knew, he used the same sentence on her when he pleasured her in their kitchen before they had to leave the base, which let him wonder if she wants to do the same now what he did to her.  
His question was answered when he saw her tongue flicking against the tip of his cock, she had suddenly pulled out of his pants, licking it hungrily.  
 _Maker, what was she doing to him?_

As her mouth now dwelled deeper on him, taking him in even more he groaned and let himself fall on his back as he closed his eyes and just concentrated on her wet mouth around him. He heard loud smacking sounds and moaning coming from her as she was gaining more speed, whilst she drew her fingernails over the sensitive skin of his groin area giving him even more pleasure.

She sent him through their bond: _"You like that don't you?"  
"Maker, Rey if you'd know." _he panted back.  
 _"Oh_ , _I know. I can feel it through our bond."_ she answered, as she ascended deeper now taking him in fully whilst swirling her tongue around his member in a torturingly slow manner. "Fuuuck!" he groaned as he grabbed her hair next to her ear.

Then he felt something strange. Suddenly it started to feel really warm around his lower regions and he instantly knew it was the force flowing through him. He opened his eyes again and watched her, propping himself up again as he now understood she was using the force to amplify her touch on him. It felt heavenly and he was so fast nearing his orgasm right now that he warned her immediately through their bond, as he didn't know if she wants to stay there if he does.  
She just fixed her eyes on his and smiled slightly staring him down with the most wicked gaze he had ever seen on her which instantly threw him over the edge as he released inside her which she took all in, as she threw him back his own words, he once told her into his mind: _"There you go Kylo."  
_  
When he felt totally empty, she licked everything off, making slurping sounds while doing so which he again found so arousing, he could pretty much go on again right now. As if she had heard his thoughts, which she probably did, she pulled down her pants and hopped on top of him, instantly sliding down his member with her insanely moist entrance around him as he pulled her body up, so they are facing each other again.  
He didn't know what happened, that she was so needy but he loved every second of it as he brushed his lips on hers, not at all minding where her mouth was before.  
She was riding him so slow right now, rolling her hips in circles, taking what she so desperately needed as she was pretty much pleasuring herself with him.  
He was watching her, cupping her face whilst she moaned into his mouth with closed eyes, panting as she climbed higher to her own release.  
Kylo also enforced her experience now, as he let the force flow through her, to which she let out a strangled scream as waves of her own orgasm started to flush through her body. Her head fell forward into his neck and she ground her body even deeper into his, clawing her fingers in the skin of his neck and his back whilst she totally lost control on top of him, growling like some wild animal which brought him over the edge too one more time as he came together with her.

When they both finally came down from their highest point of pleasure, they sat there in this deep embrace, panting, heads on the shoulder of the other one.  
Kylo was the first to talk: "Maker. Rey _this_ was unholy!"  
She pulled her head back and looked at him grinning: "No. This was the best!"

They heaved themselves up and dressed again, until they decided to lay on top of the roof on their belly's next to each other, looking down onto the whole area in front of the castle. He pointed to several places showing her where he walked through the battlefield, the last time he was here and searched for her, while she also pointed to other places showing him, where she landed the Falcon and where she saw so much green the first time in her life.

They kept talking for a while until the door of the castle opened and Poe went out and stood in the front of the door, lighting a cigarette, while drinking his beer.  
Rey suddenly got excited and she mumbled: "Oh! Oh! I gotta throw something. He deserves it!"  
Kylo looked at her in disbelief and asked: "Seriously?"  
She grinned widely and nodded her head, looking around herself if she'd find something to throw. She did find a pine cone, which she levitated over her head and then let it fall directly onto Poe's head.

"This is really childish." Kylo commented while he had to hold back his laughter as the pilot grabbed his head in surprise and looked panicky around from where it came.  
"Oi! Pervert!" Rey now yelled down and waved at him.  
The pilot looked up and now saw them, glancing down at him.  
"What the hell? How did you two get up there?" he yelled back.  
"You know how!" Rey answered.  
"Ah, yeah right." he said, as he remembered that they can force jump higher than normal humans.  
"Wanna come up too?" she asked.  
"Haha very funny." he retorted.

"Are you alone down there?" Rey asked as she looked around, searching for other people.  
"Yeah, he is." Kylo mumbled.  
Poe looked around and then gave a thumbs up.  
"Okay brace yourself!" Rey warned.

Then she turned around to Kylo and asked: "Would you help me? I don't want to let him fall down."  
Kylo snorted and answered: "Pff. First, you offer it to him, then you are unsure if you can even do it? Good for you I am forgiving after your exceptional performance today while training. So I decide to help you."  
"Smug as always." she rolled her eyes while grinning and reaching out with her hand as Kylo laid his above hers and they together started levitating Poe upwards to them,  
or more so over Rey levitated him, as Kylo just had his hand over hers for the case she slipped. She didn't and he actually did nothing, but he didn't tell her that for now.  
Poe was looking all around while constantly yelling: "Whoaaaa...whoaa...guuuys...maaaker...I am gonna die!" until he too stood on top of the roof.  
When he regained his breath he kneeled down to the two force users and beamed: "THIS was horrifying. And awesome! You know, sometimes I envy you two for your force magic stuff."

Kylo snapped: "It's no magic! It's the force. It's all around us."  
Poe waved at him and laid next to them, to also stare down from the roof.  
"You know what? Finn and Phasma just made out. I swear I saw them. I thought Finn hated her?"  
Rey's eyes widened, as she thought Phasma was into Kylo, but obviously, she pretty fast had changed her mind which kind of relieved her.  
"That's really interesting." Rey pressed out with a big grin.  
"Isn't it?" Poe laughed out loud.

"How come that we never see you with someone? You are always so eager to know everything about other people's relationships." Rey mocked him.  
"Oh yeah. I just love gossip. And dirty topics. You ask why you never see me with someone? I am not the relationship type. I have my fun on missions.  
You now short-term things, no responsibilities. Much easier like that. Don't have to deal with all that drama around it you know? That's a good way to have a clear head while fighting the First Order shitheads." Poe answered as he sipped his beer.  
"You really are dedicated to the Resistance." Kylo noticed.  
"Yeah, always was. Your mother pretty much adopted me after you left as a child, Kylo. I don't know if I was your substitute for her or something like that. But she always watched out for me and taught me everything. I am forever in her dept and I want to finish what she started." Poe explained and then looked over to Kylo, who eyed him. "Sorry, I hope I didn't say something stupid." he apologized.

Kylo glanced at him for a second, then looked down the roof again as he mumbled: "No you didn't. You were the son to her, she didn't have to fear. The son she wished for without some dark powers boiling up inside him. The son who'd dedicate everything to the Resistance. Actually, I might even have to thank you for giving her what she wished for her whole life."  
"That sounds pretty...sad. Shouldn't you...I don't know, hate that?" Poe asked.  
Kylo pondered for some seconds, as he drew circles on the stone surface of the roof they were laying on.  
"No, I don't." Kylo answered shortly. "I hate, that I wasn't able to prevent her death. But if you were her substitutional son or not, I pretty much don't care about it.  
Seriously. I hope she just had to some point a tolerable or even good life."

"I can assure you she had. She was blooming as a Leader of the Resistance. But I also know, she always missed you, even when she pretty much never talked about you,  
as she started to cry every time she did." Poe explained silently.  
Kylo huffed now and crossed his arms in front of him, as he laid his chin on them, not answering and ending the conversation.  
Rey knew it hurt him to hear that, so she reached out one hand to him and stroked two fingers through his hair, as the three of them kept lying on the roof, watching down onto the front yard until they fell asleep next to each other.


	46. Chapter 46: Jump

Poe was the first to wake up and he walked around the roof, trying to find a way down. When he realized there was none, he walked back to Kylo and Rey, who were lying there huddled up into each other and wanted to wake them up, but saw that Kylo was already on his way to stand up, kneeling on the ground, giving Rey a kiss on the forehead.  
"You two are actually really sweet together. I never saw Rey so happy. Guess its like the happiest time for you too, isn't it?" Poe grinned at him.  
"Thanks. I hope Rey is happy with me. At least she didn't tell me otherwise by now. She is my light and I never felt more at ease, as I do with her.  
But I am also twenty-four seven scared for her to be hurt or killed by Snoke actually." Kylo explained.

"She won't get hurt. We won't let that happen. Ever. She is family. Our little family has to keep together right now. Including you." Poe reassured him.  
"Family?" Kylo asked with a raised eyebrow. "Sure, a patchwork family. Do you think anybody of us has parents anymore here? We only have each other."  
"Family..." Kylo mumbled thinking about the meaning of what Poe just said while brushing strands of hair away from her face. "You are a good guy Poe.  
Sorry I tortured you back then on the Finalizer."  
"Yeah. That wasn't exactly nice. But at least you weren't the one who was beating me. You were just using your force magic in my head. Wasn't that bad actually."  
Poe laughed. "It's not magic...it's..." "Yeah all around us and everywhere and so on" Poe interrupted him as Kylo drilled holes with his gaze into his head.

"By the way, how was your training?" The pilot grinned so wide, most of his teeth showed.  
Kylo stared at him for several seconds, pondering about if he should answer or not.  
Then he shrugged his shoulders and just said with a small smile on his lips: "Otherworldy."  
Poe laughed out loud now until he finally panted out: "As I said before, I envy you two for your force thing sometimes!"

Rey moaned slightly and turned around until her eyes snapped open and she looked at Poe: "Poe? How the fuck did you come up here?"  
Poe looked puzzled at Kylo and then back to her. "Uhm you levitated me on top of the roof yesterday? Remember?"  
Rey pulled herself up and touched her head as she groaned and healed herself. "Maaaker. My head. Yeah...yeah I remember now. You stayed up here the whole night?"  
"Yeah, I did. There is no way down for normal humans. At least not without breaking my bones." he laughed at her.

So all together decided to ascend as they looked down to the courtyard but saw several people in the front. So they obviously couldn't go down this way.  
Kylo motioned them to follow him, as he went all over to the other side of the roof and looked down, then closed his eyes for a second to feel for the presence of others until he said as he didn't find any: "Ok we can jump down here."

"Yeah you might jump down there, but it's like twenty metres high. People like me would be mush if they'd jump down there." Poe protested as he crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared at Kylo. "Uhm Kylo, I can't jump down from that high too?!" Rey also protested.  
Kylo positioned himself in the middle of these two, held out both his hands and ordered: "Take my hands."  
Rey instantly did and Poe looked a little baffled, but hesitantly took it. Then the pilot bowed slightly forwards and slipped his tongue out to Rey as he mocked her:  
"Look I am holding hands with your boyfriend!" then laughed out loud as she cursed at him.

Kylo rolled his eyes annoyed and just jumped down without warning, pulling them downwards too.  
Poe and Rey screamed the whole time as they fell, gaining speed with every meter until they reached the ground where they just stopped a second before crashing down, levitating inches above the earth, then plopping the rest down, landing on their asses, as Kylo kneeled between them.

Rey was the first to stand up as she cleaned her clothes and mumbled something like: "Asshole." while Poe still sat on the ground and stared at Kylo panting out:  
"Are you fucking crazy?" "Yes, he is Poe. You should know that by now." Rey grudgingly answered.  
"Didn't know you two were afraid of heights." Kylo commented their nagging. "Very funny!" Poe said as he stood up and too cleaned his clothes.  
"Indeed it was." Kylo smirked at him.

While Poe and Rey kept on scolding Kylo the entire way, they went back into the castle again as they still needed to make plans about what to do now after the downfall of the Resistance. They found several other rebels sitting in the secluded area of the tavern again talking and drinking beverages. Nima between them playing with Chewie a game of cards. The three of them sat down between the others as Kylo looked at Nima's cards and patted her back, telling her that Chewie is gonna lose and that she is doing good, to which the Wookie growled until Poe asked: "Where are Finn and Phasma?"  
One female rebel answered: "You know, they went back to the ship yesterday. Together." she winked at Poe.  
"Ah, I see. These two, how ironic." Poe laughed. "But we gotta start planning, so we might order these two love birdies back down here."  
Poe pulled out his comlink and messaged the ship and told them to come down as they wanted to start.  
They didn't answer, so Poe messaged them again and one more time after that.  
"Of course they don't answer. Still fucking around I guess." Poe snorted.

 _"Yeah! Poe has another couple to pick on!"_ Rey chirped through their bond to Kylo who raised his eyebrows at her and then smiled slightly.  
"So who wants to be the one to burst into the ship and surprise these two?" Poe asked into the round of rebels.  
Nobody said something until Rey stood up and said: "I'll go. I forgot my bag with my saber anyways."  
Kylo suddenly turned around and stared at her as he nearly yelled: "You did what?"  
"I let my bag in the ship." she answered. "You should never - I repeat never leave your lightsaber away from your body! Did...I mean did Luke not teach you this?" he asked purely shocked. "Uhm. No, he didn't. Besides I didn't know where to wear it, as it would be seen by everybody immediately if I wore it on my belt." she explained.

Kylo looked down at her belt and saw she was right. He wore his of course with him, but it was hidden under his cloak. "You need a cape." he boldly stated.  
She pulled her hands up in frustration and said: "No! I don't want to wear a cape. I'll stay with my bag. Thank you very much!" She sarcastically added.  
Kylo rolled his eyes and answered: "Then do _never again_ forget it. Seriously!"  
"Guys, are you done? Rey needs to get Finn and Phasma, we want to start."

With that Rey stood up with a glare to Kylo and walked out of the room.  
The others decided to prepare the meeting as they rolled out plans of First Order ships and data pads with bits of information about high ranking generals and planets who support the First Order and Snoke, while Kylo looked over all the information they had and commented several things if he saw they were not complete.  
Poe was amazed at Kylo's intern knowledge as it filled in lots of gaps the rebels had and he questioned him out the whole time as the former commander gave them everything he knew. Maz came into their room sometimes as she brought them drinks and also commented the plans, giving them helpful hints for people she knew, who might be of help.  
They were still picking pieces of information together while Kylo was leaning over the table, drawing on a big blueprint they brought with them explaining something about the mechanics of the First Order ships to the others as he suddenly snapped his hand back and stumbled backwards while he held his stomach groaning in pain.

He then pulled up his hands and looked at his abdomen as if he was shot there.  
Everyone was alarmed and they asked what had happened until Kylo looked forward like he was looking through the wall, mumbling: "Rey!"  
Then his eyes widened as he instantly grabbed his lightsaber, jumped over the table and darted out of the room.  
Poe immediately understood what had happened and ran after him as the others sat there perplexed not knowing what to do.

The two men ran out of the castle through the door and in the direction of the ship, which was some minutes away. "Fuck she is hurt, isn't she?" Poe yelled at Kylo while they ran. "Yes. Badly." Kylo screamed back. "FUCK!" Poe cried out.  
They kept running until they saw Finn strolling into their direction. He waved at them and asked: "Why are you running like that? What's up with you guys?"  
Both men screamed at him: "WHERE IS REY?"

Finn backed off some steps, as sweat pearls collected on his forehead. "What? What about her? Isn't she with you guys? Did something happen? Is she okay?"  
"NO she is not!" Kylo yelled and kept running forward, as Poe and Finn followed him.  
Finn now asked Poe: "What happened to her? Is she hurt?" Poe answered: "I don't know Finn, Kylo felt something through their bond and says she is hurt badly.  
She should have been at our ship getting you and Phasma back."  
"Ok. I was just walking back to you guys. Phasma is still sleeping, she was extremely drunken yesterday and I let her sleep."  
Poe nodded and kept running with Finn and Kylo to the ship until they heard several shots.  
"SHIT!" Kylo yelled out as he ignited his saber.  
Their aircraft finally came in sight as it just now raised itself from the ground. There were two figures right under it, kneeling on the ground.  
It was Rey who unconsciously laid on the grass in a puddle of blood, lightsaber next to her and Phasma kneeling right under her, cupping her head in one hand on her lap and her other arm hanging limply by her side, as she was obviously hurt too.

Kylo instantly slid down to Rey and cupped her face too as he screamed at Phasma, asking what happened.  
She was crying the whole time and whimpered: "The First Order sent out headhunters. They attacked us and took the ship when they saw you approaching! We tried to fight them off, but they got us by surprise! I am so sorry Kylo, I am so sorry!"  
Kylo looked up groaned, reaching his arm into the air using the force to draw down the ascending vessel from the sky. It trembled in midair for some seconds while its engines roared up, working against his force hold. Kylo now screamed as he used so much power and Phasma, Finn and Poe watched in awe as he was able to hold such a large ship from lifting into the sky while its engines worked against him. Then he suddenly dropped his hand and said "Fuck it!" as he looked down to Rey again, cupping her face brushing her temple and pushing energy into her body.  
She was losing blood fast and he wasn't able to heal her as he was not adept in the light side of the force. He cursed himself for this and stood up with her in his arms as he walked back really fast to the castle, lending her his energy the whole time, so she wouldn't bleed out. Poe now used his commlink and screamed into it for the rebels to get a hold of their medic and for him to prepare something like an operation-room for Rey and Phasma as both of them were shot. Which was luckily the same doctor who had nursed Kylo back to health the one time he died. Kylo talked to Rey the whole time with a soothing voice, which was maybe also to soothe himself and he too tried to brush her mind through their bond, but he didn't get an answer from her which let him slightly fall into panic.

Finn and Poe propped up Phasma and helped her walk as she was shot into her shoulder and too was losing blood.  
When they reached the castle Maz was already at the open door waiting for them and the tavern was empty except for the rebels who were too waiting with worried eyes. When Kylo walked into the room with Rey on his arms, all the chairs and tables in his way flew into the walls as he didn't have the head to walk around them until he reached the secluded area where their medic was already standing with gloves on as he had already built a big makeshift operational table in the middle of it, waiting with medical tools and bacta patches for their arrival.  
As Kylo laid Rey down onto the table he still had his hand on her head while he was still pushing energy into her and Phasma was laid beside her by Finn and Poe.  
The doctor stood in front of the table, waiting for his patients to be laid down, took a fast look at them both and stated: "Phasma will live. Somebody has to clean her wound and put a bacta patch on her shoulders from both sides. Rey is another thing."

Kylo screamed at the medic: "If Rey dies I will fucking kill you!"  
The doctor looked up in shock and said: "I didn't attack her, calm down! I'll do my best!" as he started to cut Rey's clothing open, revealing the big wound on her stomach.  
"Do fucking perfect!" Kylo yelled again as he was just a second away from losing his temper and choking the doctor, until Poe pulled at his shoulder, whispering: "Kylo really, you are not helping this situation." "Poe fuck off!" Kylo growled as he started getting tears in his eyes and pushing even more energy into Rey as he felt her getting cold.

The doctor cleaned her wounds and used a small droid to scan the damage while huffing through his nose as he placed the needed tools next to her.  
Finn had meanwhile cleaned Phasma's wounds and applied the bacta patches, but she was already unconscious from the blood loss.  
"I'll start the operation now. I'd be thankful if you all leave this room now, as I need absolute silence and my droid for this." Then he turned around to Kylo with a frightened glance and said: "You need to leave too. It's good you pushed your energy into her, that gave us time. But when I operate, you can't do this anymore as her pulse will be to fast then and she might bleed out."  
"I will not leave!" Kylo gritted out between his teeth. Finn and Poe looked at each other, not knowing what to do. The medic huffed again then pressed more: "When I operate and I am not concentrated enough and slip for just a millimetre, Rey will die. I really really need to concentrate. Alone. Please trust me. I will save her."

Kylo blinked at him, contemplating what to do now as he grabbed onto Rey's arm desperately. Poe pulled again at his shoulder and said: "Kylo if you don't go now, you will be responsible for her death. I recommend coming with us now. Every second counts."  
Kylo instantly let go of Rey and turned around darting out of the room. Finn and Poe stood there for some seconds perplexed until Poe said to the doctor: "Fucking safe this girl. I beg you!" then they too decided to leave the room, leaving Rey's life in the hands of the medic.

Just before they reached the door, they heard screaming and loud bangs in the other room. They instantly ran forward and saw several destroyed and burning pieces of furniture lying on the floor and some rebels huddled together backing off against a wall.  
Kylo was not to be seen and Poe screamed at the others: "What the hell happened?"  
Maz who walked over to him and answered: "Ben stormed out of the room and destroyed the bar with his lightsaber, then walked out. How is Rey?"

Poe grabbed his forehead and kneeled down to Maz, taking her hand. "Maz I don't know. Not so well I guess. She was shot by some headhunters. She is bleeding so much. The doctor is trying everything right now."  
Finn was sweating and had tears in his eyes asking: "Shouldn't you get Kylo back? Is he going to kill someone? He always killed someone when he was in this mood back at the First Order."  
Poe stood up at that and growled: "Fuck." as he walked out the door to search for Kylo. Maz followed him, as Finn and the other rebels stayed back behind. Finn walked to the crying Nima, hugging her, as she didn't understand why her saviour and 'prince' Kylo was so angry right now and why Rey was hurt.

As Poe and Maz were out searching for him it was pretty easy as they just had to look out for the scorched marks on the destroyed walls and trees as they followed his trail.  
After some time they finally found him kneeling on the floor between several rock formations, resembling something like natural stairs between the trees.  
It was the same place where he had found Rey the first time he landed on Takodana together with the First Order, as he back then was hunting her and BB-8 down.

They slowly approached him and saw his eyes were closed and his hands folded together in his lap. In front of his knees were his and Rey's lightsabers sprawled out and he didn't move a muscle. They walked over to him, while Poe said his name, asking if they could do something. There was no answer nor any kind of reaction.

Maz walked closer to Kylo and inspected his form as she stood directly in front of him. Then she turned to Poe and explained: "He is totally gone. Really deep meditation.  
We can't wake him up. He is probably watching over her."


	47. Chapter 47: Red

**Beware: Dark chapter is dark!**

* * *

Poe stood together with Maz in front of Kylo Ren, who was in deep meditation kneeling down on the grassy ground between some rock formations.  
The pilot questioningly turned around to the small yellow alien next to him and asked:  
"What now? Should we leave him sitting here then? I mean at least he can't kill anyone like that. Can he?"

Maz watched Kylo closely, circling him slightly until she answered: "It might not be others who he'd kill if he snaps."  
Poe's eyes widened at that: "What's that supposed to mean?"  
Maz just stared knowingly at Poe and then turned around as she started to walk back to her castle. She pulled up her small hand and waved:  
"Just watch out for him. He is extremely unstable right now."  
The pilot rubbed his sweaty forehead as he was absolutely stressed out from this whole chain of events, thinking about Maz's words as he mumbled to himself:  
"Not others...not others...What's that supposed to mean, if he doesn't kill others? Who else would you kill then?"

Then it clicked and he suddenly stared with worried eyes to the unmoving form of Kylo Ren kneeling on the ground. The pilot groaned in realization and started talking to him, even if he knew he wouldn't be able to hear anything of it: "Shit man. Your girl is gonna pull through. Don't do anything stupid! She needs you!"  
He then sat on the ground, leaning himself against a moss-covered stone wall behind him as he lit a cigarette, inhaling slowly with shaking hands while watching the dark side user meditate.  
Poe fumbled nervously with his commlink to check if it was working, even if he knew it did.  
After several minutes waiting, he was already getting restless from the lack of information about Rey and he contacted the other rebels if they heard something new about her condition but of course, they hadn't as the doctor was still operating on her.

Finn and the other rebels were shocked from the recent events and didn't know what to do as they couldn't help Rey, or search for the attackers because they had taken off with their ship. They berated themselves if they should pay some merchants to follow the ship of the headhunters, but decided against it, as they didn't want to leave for they wanted to know if Rey is pulling through.  
So some of them sat together, hugging each other while sobbing, with a glimmer of hope in their eyes whilst others tidied up the mess and destruction Kylo had left behind in the tavern to somehow distract themselves. Maz was taking care of them as she brought drinks or patted backs and sometimes argued with Chewie. Finn was sitting together with Nima as they were both shedding tears and hugging each other for comfort.

* * *

Kylo has darted out into the forest blinded by rage and panic of losing Rey and not being allowed to stay by her side. At first, he planned to disobey the doctor's order and stay there anyway, but Poe and the other man were right. He couldn't keep his temper at bay so he would probably force choke the medic if he feels he is not doing operating enough. He hated it with all his might to leave the fate of Rey in the hands of some one else, but there was no other choice.  
As he slashed his way through the stone walls and the connected forest, he just let himself lead by his subconscious mind as he was running without a certain aim until he realized he reached the place where he had met Rey the first time when he landed with the First Order on Takodana and searched for the droid.

He fell down to his knees in desperation and plucked both lightsabers from his belt, throwing them in front of him onto the grassy ground as he somehow couldn't bear their weight and the responsibility they brought to both force users anymore at this moment. Rey was solely attacked because she fell into this whole mess, the war between the Resistance and the First Order, finding the droid on Jakku, being force sensitive, being bonded to him, finding Darth Vader's older saber, being captured by him, him awakening her force powers as he pried into her mind and she fought back. If she just stayed on Jakku, still scavenging metal parts far away from all this hell she was dragged into, she wouldn't be dying right now. He grabbed his head desperately as he felt these thoughts repeating themselves inside his mind again and again.  
He needed to calm down right now, as he was spiralling downwards into a black hole of hate, anger, fear, panic and self-loathing eating him alive from the inside out.  
If he'd lose Rey he knew he would seriously go insane. She was his light. Without light, there would be only darkness left in him.

It was the first time in his life he felt utterly scared of the darkness.

Utterly scared of not seeing Rey's sweetest of smiles anymore, of not feeling the touch of her lips on his, of not hearing her voice in his mind which brought so much peace to his torn soul. Being alone with his own mind, not hearing anyone inside of it, but himself. He couldn't be left alone with his own thoughts. They would kill him in the end.

As he kneeled on the ground, trembling with all these emotions not being able to think of anything else than his dying bonding partner he started to meditate as this was the only thing that came to his mind except for Rey himself, which could maybe calm him just the slightest bit without going crazy.

Kylo soon started to see a vision in his mind and found himself standing in some kind of black abyss, surrounded by silence. He glanced around as he wasn't able to distinguish between up and down or where it started or ended or how big the area was. Then he somehow felt a tuck on his heart and his hands wandered up to his chest searching for the reason of this.  
He didn't find anything unusual until something red started to emerge from his chest which he observed with a mixture of panic and wonder as he didn't understand what it was. The emerging object drifted forwards as it became clear it was a red string which floated its way out of his chest, coming from seemingly nowhere but out of his chest.

Kylo was getting nervous at this, as he didn't understand what the meaning of it was. Certainly, it didn't hurt him or felt bad, but what was this telling him? The string grew longer and longer, pulling itself out of his chest until he couldn't see the end anymore, as it just vanished somewhere in the black abyss in front of him. He touched the woven thread and felt it slip forwards through his hands as it was slippery with some red liquid which now stained his palms. He looked at his red palms in wonder, realizing it had much resemblance with blood. When he pulled up his hands to his face to take a closer look as he wanted to find out if it really was blood or some other liquid he felt the tuck on his heart suddenly take a halt.

His gaze fell away from his hands as he pulled them away instantly and now understood why the tugging had stopped. The red string had suddenly ended and the loose, ripped end of it was now floating in front of him, away from him into the darkness.  
He blinked and looked at his chest. There was nothing to be seen, no hole nor any red liquid. Kylo looked forward again, as the string already was floating some metres away and was about to vanish into nothingness.  
For some reason, his gut told him to run forward and grab the string to pull on it. It instantly slipped away from his grip as it was so slippery from the blood which seemed to leak out from the inside of it.  
He was having none of it and grabbed the thread again with anger, as he instantly walked forward and wrapped it around his arm to have a better grip on it. He pulled as hard as he could and wrapped more and more of it around his arm having to use a lot of power as it seemed to be getting more difficult with every inch he pulled into his direction. After some minutes he realized he wasn't pulling the thread to him, but was pulling himself forward with this action, like if the ground was moving with him as something in front was coming in sight far away in the distance.

After some time it became clear the 'something in front' was a cliff leading downwards into even more darkness without him being able to make out where it starts or ends and how deep it is. The string was still pulling him forwards as he tried to fight against it with all his might, digging his heels into the ground and groaning with exertion to not fall down the edge. He screamed now as he was straining his arms fully to not let go of the string, but its pull was so strong the tip of his feet were already tipping over the edge of the cliff. But something was telling him to not let go, even if it means he'd fall down with it into the darkness.  
One more pull and his left foot slipped over the edge making him lose his balance and sent him stumbling downwards the cliff with the end of the thread still wrapped around his fists.

* * *

His eyes snapped open and he inhaled sharply in panic as he fell forwards until his hands came in contact with the ground. But the ground felt soft and he didn't feel like he fell down, but was actually kneeling. When he looked down to his hands, he saw grass between his trembling fingers as he realized he still was at the place where he had kneeled down to meditate. "Kylo?" he heard his name. It was a man's voice. He looked at his hands to see if they had blood from the string on them. They hadn't. Also there was no string. They were just slightly stained from the ground beneath him. It must have been a force vision. I wasn't real. But it somehow changed something in the reality. He just felt it did.  
"Kylo? Are you alright?" again the voice.  
Kylo's eyes finally darted up, into the direction of the voice. There was Poe kneeling in front of him looking extremely worried.  
"What happened?" Poe asked nervously.  
Kylo now fixed his eyes on the pilot, finally taking in his presence and said with a trembling voice. "I...I did something. I think it was our bond. I don't know what I did."

Just then Poe's comm-link beeped and he instantly grabbed it to answer: "Yes Poe here, any updates?" Finn answered: "The operation is over. Rey is still alive. But not out of danger. The doctor wants to specifically see Kylo Ren."  
"We'll be there in an instant." Poe confirmed and turned his head to Kylo to see if he had listened.  
"You heard that Kylo? Come on! Rey needs you right now. " Poe asked as he stood up and started walking, hoping Kylo would just follow.  
Surprisingly he did follow and now held both lightsabers out to Poe while waking next to him. The pilot looked at him in disbelief and took them with hesitation, then clipping them onto his belt and asked: "Why are you giving me these? I don't understand."  
"I...I do not trust myself right now. If I do anything...I don't know what I'll do. Please shoot me if I go insane. I can't bear it for too long." Kylo stuttered as he looked forward with an empty gaze.  
Poe stopped for a second to stare at him with shock, but then decided to continue walking in an instant, as they had to reach the castle again, so he yelled out:  
"I will not fucking shoot you. Please just wait until you talked to the medic. Get yourself together. Really! Rey fucking needs you right now! You have to stay here with us!"  
Kylo just bit his lip and squeezed his eyes together as he nodded the slightest bit.

They reached the wooden door of the castle and instantly shot through the entrance as the other rebels all sat around somewhere watching the two men approach with a look of worry, fear and pity. The doctor waited patiently in front of the secluded room and Kylo was getting so agitated from fear and panic, he forgot to breathe every other second. He looked like a total mess, his hair hung losely into his face, his eyes were glassy and his hands trembled when he entered as Poe stayed outside and waited together with everyone else. Phasma was awake again and sat next to Finn, looking extremely exhausted.

Kylo walked in and he couldn't take his eyes from Rey who laid motionless and with a pale face on the operation table with bacta gauze all over her stomach and a medical droid standing next to her beeping, as it held an IV bag over its head and was continuously scanning her vital signs.  
He instantly crashed down in front of the table, next to her head and brushed Rey's temples while tears started to fall down in streams as he laid his forehead on hers.  
Kylo let his force flow through her and was able to feel her heartbeat and the amount of damage done in her body. It didn't look too good for her and she was extremely weak. His first instinct was to push a huge amount of energy into her but refrained himself from doing it as the doctor told him before to not do this in her condition.

He started sobbing and buried his head into her neck as he brushed her hair desperately.  
The medic started to speak: "Ok. I ordered you here because there are several things I need to tell you, which directly and indirectly affect you both.  
To be exact: It's three things I found out while operating on her."

Kylo looked up and waited for him to start.  
"So the first thing is: I was able to stabilize her. For now at least. I managed to close her wound and put everything back in place. At some point, she was gone.  
I tried everything, but her wound was too life-threatening. Her heart had stopped for several seconds. But she came back somehow by herself. It started to beat again after several seconds just like that. I don't understand how this happened, actually, I have never seen anything alike happening. It's medically impossible and in my opinion a miracle. But it happened and therefore is real.  
But she also lost large amounts of blood and is extremely weak right now. I am not sure if she will pull through the night. Only time and patience will tell now."  
Kylo groaned as he let his head fall down into Rey's arm and started shuddering from crying in panic.  
The doctor watched him as he cleared his throat. "As I said, there are more things to tell." He eyed Kylo like he was weighing out his chances of getting alive out of this conversation. "I...uhm I need you to stay calm now. Uhm...She...She was pregnant."

Kylo's head darted up in disbelief, his face tear-stained and his eyes red. "LIAR! She couldn't be!" he screamed as he shot up with balled fists, staring daggers at the man.  
"No, I don't. She was nearing her second month." he answered with his palms up in defence in front of his body as he walked backwards.  
"This is impossible! I am infertile, I have an implant in my blood since years! You are fucking lying!" Kylo screamed in rage.  
The doctor pulled a hand to his chin to think, then asked: "For how long exactly?" Kylo blinked at this question as he didn't understand why this information was important, then answered: "Twelve years."  
"Was it an XG-73449-PI implant?" the doctor pressed further. Kylo just breathed out a "Yes." as he saw the man was onto something.  
"These are old and outdated. They sometimes lose their function in bacta-tanks as some of the small electrical parts start to dissolve, especially when the user is in a tank for more than one day. I take it, you two didn't know that?" the medic explained.

Kylo's eyes widened in shock as he stared at the man and went absolutely quiet, realizing the doctor was indeed not lying to him as he of course was in a bacta tank for several days after the attack on the base. He felt his pulse hammering against his skin and his fingers getting cold and sweaty as he thought about what he just learned.  
He stumbled back into the wall, where he slid down, mumbling "Pregnant...? Rey?"  
He buried his head in his hands as he dug through his memories of the last weeks with her. _  
How could he not have felt this? How did he not feel the small life growing inside her?_  
 _Did she even feel it? She would have told him. But she didn't expect this to happen. Surely force users must feel this?  
Were they too distracted by all the other terrible things happening around them? Did they really create life together?_  
He couldn't believe what he had just heard as he let out a pained growl, breaths growing shorter, tears falling down uncontrollably while he trembled,  
holding his head like it would explode any second with all these emotions and thoughts swirling around in his mind.

His thoughts spiralled downwards in his head as the only thing he could think of was Rey and their killed child.

After some time Kylo sobbed out: "What is the third thing you wanted to tell?" The medic shook his head and said with uncertainty in his voice: "I...I don't know if I can tell you this at the moment. It might me too much to bear right now. Maybe you should process this information first and I tell it sometime later."

Kylo glassy eyes shot up now as he glanced at the doctor, while he was trying to catch his breath again somehow. "Tell me!" he yelled with anger boiling up inside him.  
The man looked down to Kylo insecurely and gulped down loudly. "I don't know if..."  
"TELL ME!" Kylo screamed at him now as he shot up, reaching out his trembling arm and started force choking him.

The doctor was grabbing his neck now in desperation as he started to gurgle from the lack of air in his lungs.  
Then he nodded in panic and was instantly released by Kylo from his force grip. While he regained his breath and rubbing his neck, he stuttered out with a raspy voice:

"Rey...Rey was very likely shot by someone she knew. There were no signs of a fight and the angle of the wound indicates she was shot from an extremely short distance as she probably was bowing herself over the attacker."


	48. Chapter 48: Betrayal

**I partly altered the last chapter, so it fits better with the ending of this one as I realized it would be more dramatic that way.**  
 **Poor Kylo :( Also, poor Rey of course.**

 **greekmomma25: Oh wait till you read this chapter, you'll hate Phasma even more!**

* * *

"Rey...Rey was very likely shot by someone she knew."  
These words rung in Kylo's ears. _Either she knew the people who took the ship and fled, or...was it possible? Was it even Finn or Phasma?_  
Did they betray Rey and him? He couldn't believe it as his anger flared up in such overwhelming waves, it was hard to see straight anymore.  
He let out an animalistic growl and darted to the door, whilst the doctor screamed at him, but he couldn't hear him through his blinding rage.  
He didn't bother to open the door but just blasted it out of its hinges with a force push, stomping through it ready to kill whoever did this to Rey.

The rebels who sat outside backed off in horror as they saw Kylo Ren with yellowish glowing eyes blasting the door out off the room in front of them.  
Finn sat huddled together with the bandaged and hurt Phasma on a bench and held her tightly while letting out a terrified gasp as Kylo stomped over with two hands reaching out in their direction. Poe jumped up from a chair right next to him as he screamed for Kylo to stop and raised his blaster onto his form.

Finn and Phasma suddenly started to raise from their seating position and then levitated into the air next to each other, as both screamed in agony,  
while Kylo was brutally penetrating their minds digging through their memories of today.  
Poe knew he wouldn't be able to stop Kylo right now through talking or anything else and he feared for Finn's life as the former trooper was screaming in pain right now.  
So he decided to listen to Kylo's own words from before and shot at him. To be exact on his hand which reached out to torture Finn.  
Obviously, Kylo had such a tunnel vision he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings, therefore didn't feel the shot coming. It went right through one of his fingers and Finn fell to the ground unconscious.

Kylo didn't do much more, then glance for a second over to his hand which now had a bleeding stump instead of his ring finger then stared back at Phasma who was still screaming in pain, while her body was aching back as she struggled to bear the force mangling her mind.  
Suddenly it stopped and Kylo let her fall down onto the ground as his eyes widened. He found what searched for.  
He could see her mind clearly, even if she tried to fight it right now.

* * *

 _This morning Phasma was kissed awake by Finn as she laid on the bed of the rebel ship. She acted like she had a headache and mumbled to him, that she still needed some time to sleep. Finn nodded and left as he told her to come down to the castle if she is well again._  
 _The second he was gone, Phasma jumped up and rummaged through the ship, searching for a weapon. After some time she found a blaster packed away in a drawer, which she hid under her jacket. Just it was safely hidden away she heard the door of the ship open again from the outside and she thought, it might be Finn who came back.  
So she darted back to the bed and instantly buried herself under the covers, then heard the person open several doors as if she was searching for someone.  
The door to her room opened and Rey walked in there with her brown satchel around her torso. Phasma instantly acted like if she was still sleeping and closed her eyes._  
 _Rey approached silently and watched her for a second, then softly brushed her shoulder and whispered: "Phasma? Phasma? Wake up. Hey. Phasma! Our meeting is starting any minute now."_  
 _Phasma blinked her eyes open and yawned slightly, focusing her eyes on Rey after some seconds. Whilst she acted like waking up, she took the blaster in one hand under her blanket and held it tightly to her body without Rey noticing it._  
 _"Ugh. How late is it? Too much alcohol. Damn headache!" she groaned._

 _Rey laughed and answered: "Haha I know that feeling! I can heal it for you if you'd like." Rey grinned at her._  
 _"Ah, that would be so nice! Your skills are so amazing!" Phasma commented with delight as Rey bent down to hold her hands against her temples._  
 _Rey smiled at that and said: "No...They are nothing compared to Kylo's actually."_

 _Then there was a shot through the blanket and Rey's eyes widened in shock and pain, as she stumbled back, holding her bleeding stomach._  
 _"Maker...Phasma...What did you...hggggnn." she groaned as her eyes rolled back and she slumped together onto the floor._

 _Phasma stood up from the bed, blaster still in her hand as she circled the unconscious woman on the ground, she hissed in such a grim voice:_  
 _"No. YOU are nothing compared to Kylo!" Then she laughed as she rolled her body over with a kick to her chest, to see if she was still alive._  
 _Rey was unmoving and didn't appear to breathe._  
 _Phasma kneeled down, grabbed her ankle and started dragging her out of the ship in front of the ramp, where she let her roll down ungracefully._  
 _Then she walked back to the ship and typed in the coordinates of faraway_ _planet, then set the timer for the autopilot to start in two minutes._

 _She hurried back outside as she already heard the approaching voices of several men arguing and yelling at each other. She had to act fast now._  
 _Phasma slid down beneath Rey's lifeless body, took the blaster and shot herself in the shoulder while wincing in pain. Then she shot several times at the spaceship behind her and when the ramp started to move upwards she instantly threw her weapon inside it before the door was fully closed and the ship started to ascend from the ground._

Nervously Phasma now dug through Rey's satchel until she found her lightsaber, which she stuffed into her cold, unmoving hand.

 _Then she bowed down slightly with a grin: "Unworthy scavenger scum until death." Afterwards looked up again and started to grimace her face into a pained one,_  
 _tears dwelling down her cheeks as she saw Kylo, Finn and Poe approaching._  
 _The ship behind her was in the air now and Kylo slid down to the two women with a panicked expression on his face as he screamed:_  
 _"FUCK WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT HAPPENED? WHAT IS THIS?"_

* * *

Kylo had seen enough. Actually, he had seen everything he needed to see. His head felt blank right now. Except for one word which dwelled up in the darkness of his mind:

Betrayal.

The only person, who he'd trust with the secret of him directly disobeying Snoke's orders, who had supported him, who protected and helped him with saving all these force sensitive children and who even fell in love with him even when he was known to be a monster back in the ranks of the First Order, was the same person who now stabbed his back, betrayed him and more so over tried to take the innocent life of his bonding partner, his love, his light, the sole reason to stay sane in all the madness around him, away.

Blind rage overcame him now, as he gritted out between his teeth: "YOU!" and started to choke Phasma now as he pulled her up into the air again without the force, smashing her against a wall behind her, whilst she winced from the pain in her hurt shoulder and tried to wiggle herself free from his grasp around her neck.

Tears welled up in her eyes and she spat out in desperation:

"I love you Kylo. I always did! It should have been us!"

Poe still had his weapon drawn onto Kylo's form, but his hands were shaking now as he heard Phasma talk. He couldn't believe what he was hearing at this moment and he gulped down as he pondered if he should shoot at Kylo's again to stop him, or if he should shoot at Phasma.  
But his decision was taken from him as he felt something move on his belt. Kylo used the force to pull his lightsaber away from the pilot's belt, into his outstretched bloody hand and ignited it while he held it just inches away from Phasma's face.

He plainly answered:

"No."

And pushed the saber so torturingly slow through the woman's chest, into her heart that she screamed the whole time in total agony until her shouts dissolved into strangled gurgling and her body twitched in his grasp as Phasma's last pained breath left her burned lungs. He had pushed the saber completely through her as he had his eyes fixed on hers, wanting to see every second of fear, pain and regret mirrored in her eyes. He dwelled on these emotions and it gave him a deep satisfaction, knowing she died in intense pain and feelings of betrayal and refusal.

He deactivated his lightsaber and lowered her body slightly, then threw it aside onto the floor like it was a piece trash he was disgusted to touch.  
Everyone looked in horror at his back, shoulders heaving up and down as he was breathing in deeply, one rebel barfed onto the floor in the background and Poe lowered his weapon. Finn was slowly regaining his consciousness and now saw the dead body of Phasma lying on the ground with eyes and mouth ripped open in a silent scream.

Finn jumped up and instantly darted forward as he tried to attack Kylo in a fit of rage, as his only memory was Kylo attacking them both and then the dead body of Phasma on the floor. Poe decided in a split of a second to hinder him and tackled him down, screaming at him to stop it.  
Kylo now turned around and with yellow-rimmed eyes watched both men struggling on the ground, while Finn screamed at him:  
"YOU DAMN MURDERER! YOU ARE A MONSTER! A FUCKING MONSTER! YOU ALWAYS WERE! YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE LYING DEAD ON THIS VERY GROUND!"

Poe now had enough of Finn struggling under him and he punched him in his face as he yelled: "Finn stop it Stop it right now!"  
Kylo's eyes started to flicker between yellow and brown until they were brown again, then he pulled his lightsaber up and examined it for some seconds, seeing the hilt was dripping with his own blood from his severed finger.

Then he lazily threw the weapon onto the floor in front of Finn were it left big splotches of blood on the wooden surface as his shoulders slumped down in defeat.  
The former stormtrooper instantly picked it up and glared daggers at Kylo as he was about to ignite it, attacking the darkside user.  
Poe now screamed: "Are you both crazy? Finn give me the damn lightsaber! Kylo you don't let yourself be killed right now!"  
The pilot now ripped the saber from Finn's hands, then he let go of him and stood up as he slowly walked over to Kylo, who didn't say a word and was just staring at the lightsaber as if he had desperately waited for it to be plunged into his neck by Finn.

"Kylo? What did you see? You were in her mind, weren't you? Did she do it?" Kylo nodded after some seconds without answering.  
"Then show me. I want to know the truth." Kylo blinked several times at this demand. "He'll just kill you too Poe! Can't you see that?" Finn blurted out in panic as Poe took one more step forward and stood now directly in front of the man who just seconds ago killed Phasma in such a gruesome way.

Kylo finally reached out his bloodied hand to Poe's temple and showed him everything.  
The pilot first flinched slightly as he expected pain like he always felt it before when Kylo pried into his mind,  
but this time the energy felt warm and for some reason extremely sad.

At first, he saw scenes from the last years, how Kylo cut the force from several force sensitives he was supposed to kill on Snoke's orders and how he wiped their minds to hide them in the Outer Rim. He also saw how Phasma found out about it and helped him during the span of seven years, how she covered his tracks and stayed loyal to him the whole time. Then it fast forwarded to the conversation with the doctor, as he told Kylo about Rey's bad condition she was in, about her ended pregnancy and about the information of who might have been the attacker. Afterwards came the vision he ripped from Phasma's mind as she ambushed Rey and staged the attack of headhunters who were never there.

The vision ended and Poe stumbled backwards as Kylo let his hand drop down. "Maker...Kylo...Fuck...I can't believe this. This is insane! Fuck. I am so sorry you have to live through this. Man...I don't know if this was morally right what you did, certainly, it's not at all. But I might have done the same when I was you. This woman was purely evil!"

Kylo shrugged his shoulders and said: "Yes. And it was my fault she was walking free. I should have killed her on the Supremacy before.  
Nothing of all this would have happened then. Rey would be happily jumping around now. Our child would still be alive."  
Everyone now looked shocked back and forth between these two men and Finn whispered in disbelief as he listened to them: "...Child?".

"You could have never known back then what she is going to do! You can't seriously blame yourself for this now!" Poe snapped at him.  
Kylo just desperately pulled his hands up and grabbed his head as his eyes started to tear, he was losing it again.  
"But I do. I fucking do! I'll go to Rey now. I think I am going insane." he stated with an extremely flat voice like he was holding himself together, to not fall apart any second.


	49. Chapter 49: Help

Kylo slowly trotted back into the room where Rey was, not taking in any of his surroundings anymore, neither the horrified rebels, nor the broken furniture, nor Phasmas body on the floor. He just fell down to his knees next to the table on which she laid, brought up his hand to her temple brushed a thumb over her pale skin and closed his eyes as he sent her messages through their bond. Telling her that he was sorry, that he found out what happened and that he avenged her as he made sure Phasma died in pain and regret. Afterwards realizing, Rey wouldn't probably have liked how he handled the former captain, so he apologized about it, but snapped back after several seconds as he told her how he had seen the way Phasma handled Rey's unconscious body so he fell into an internal fit of rage, thinking about even crueler ways of killing Phasma and practically everyone who will hurt Rey.  
Then he stopped himself again, seeing he was only making it worse and tried to tell her something different to keep his mind away from murdering thoughts.  
So he told her how much he wanted to hear her voice again, see her smile in his arms, how much he needed her to come back and that she still has so much to see, learn and explore in her life, which are just a few of the infinite reasons why she should stay alive and wake up soon.

While he kept on telling her about all these things she still hadn't seen and done, like seeing the fireworks in the city of Corusant or swimming in the oceans of Scarif or eating chocolate ice-cream, he swiftly changed the topic and asked her if she felt something change inside her body over the last weeks. Then he recounted what the doctor told him, about the life they created together, which only lasted for a month. He told her, he would have accepted any decision she would have made about this small clump of cells in her body and he would have fully supported her in any way - if she would have had the decision, which she hadn't in this case. Then he brushed his finger on the side of her abdomen, carefully not to come in contact with her wound as he asked her what she would have done if she'd known what grew inside her. Of course, he didn't get an answer, but he asked anyway as he also didn't know what she would have done about it and if she even wanted life to grow inside her, especially if it was made by him, meaning it would have also been his bloodline and all the darkness it could bear.

He just babbled out everything which came to his mind, which was absolutely unusual for him, but he needed to talk to her, to keep his mind from wandering off right now. He knew she couldn't hear him, nor was she able to answer but at least he was occupied with something else than guilt-tripping himself until the verge of insanity, also, Kylo hoped he would somehow come through her subconsciousness, so she'd know she was not alone and would maybe cling to his voice to find a way out of her condition right now.

* * *

The other rebels stared at him in total silence as he walked back to the room after he attacked Finn and killed Phasma in such a gruesome way, then being shot in the hand, probably not even realizing he was missing a finger, then breaking down next to Rey. Nobody dared to say something as they didn't know if he would dart out again and destroy something or hurt others right now.  
Poe was the only one with a somehow clear head, as he knew more than all the others, after Kylo showed him what had happened. At some point, the pilot could even understand Kylo's actions and was now ready to defend this man against whatever accusations would come up now after the events had taken place before their eyes.

Of course, everyone thought Kylo would have killed Finn too if Poe hadn't shot at him in time but he surely wouldn't have. At least Poe hoped so.  
He had to keep the situation calm right now and keep the group together, as he had grown to be some kind of the new Resistance's leader after Leia's death.  
He couldn't afford for this small leftover group to break apart right now. This was his family and his last hope to destroy the First Order once and for all.

So after wiping the sweat from his forehead and combing back his hair, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath Poe shushed the rebels to silence and ordered everybody to sit down, so he'd explain the situation to them.  
Some protested first, but he shot them a look that said everything, so they instantly went silent and sat down on the remaining intact furniture. Even Maz sat down and listened. Chewbacca held the shocked Nima between his furry arms as he sat on the floor with her. Poe stood now in front of them all and looked down on the horrified faces of the remaining rebels.  
"You all must be shocked beyond reason. I know all of you followed my lead, as you believed in Kylo Ren's redemption while no one else in the Resistance believed it.  
I know you saw with your own eyes of what he is capable of, which is by all means not how we are dealing with people who did us wrong.  
Before you judge his actions, I want you to know what I have seen, what he had shown me, which is obviously why he reacted like he did.

As you all know Rey was supposed to get Finn and Phasma to our meeting this morning.  
She did but was shot in an ambush by Phasma, who then feigned a staged headhunters attack, to make us believe they were attacked. Which worked pretty well actually.  
Rey's condition right now is - to say it lightly the fucking worst - and we don't know if she will survive the night. We can just hope she will.  
Even if I don't like to be the bearer of the news, she also was pregnant. Kylo and herself didn't know about it before. The unborn child was killed by the shot through her stomach. I hope your judgement on this situation includes and is influenced by what I told you right now, it does mine and I will stay and support Kylo and of course Rey, even after what we have witnessed right now. I want you all to collect your thoughts and don't just sprint off in fear as everyone else did on our old base, before the breakup of the Resistance.

We can't give up like that right now! We all lived through big losses, Kylo through the most recent ones obviously.  
Rey and Kylo are the ones who are able to turn the tides in our favour, our most powerful allies and more so over friends.  
They deserve our deepest support and compassion, especially after these events. If anyone fundamentally disagrees with what I said right now, you are free to leave this castle at this moment."

The room was so silent, some could hear a pin drop to the ground. Poe looked into the faces of his rebels and they were luckily filled pity and sadness, also anger and understanding as they looked onto the dead body of Phasma on the ground.  
After some seconds Chewbacca roared: _"She hurt_ _sunshine! And killed smaller sunshine! Little Ben is so sad. We all should hug little Ben now and tell him  
everything will be alright!"_

"Uuuh wait wait wait Chewbacca!" Poe lifted his hands to stop the Wookie who had already stood up, with Nima on his hand and wanted to walk over with her to  
Kylo in the other room.  
"Don't go in there. Seriously. He needs some time alone with her right now, he is really unstable. Seriously don't hug him right now. I mean it big furball!"

Chewbacca luckily listened and stopped after some struggling with Poe, but Nima just kept on walking and went into the room with Kylo and Rey.  
Poe noticed it after some seconds, but it was too late as Nima already went through the blasted-out door.

* * *

Kylo still kneeled on the floor next to Rey and heard the voices of the others, but wasn't able to make out about what they talked. Also, he wasn't interested in the content of their conversation. After some seconds he heard small footsteps approaching and he looked up as he interrupted his talking to Rey.  
It was Nima who came into the room, looking a little scared as she walked over to the table. Her gaze flipped from the hurt Rey to Kylo's tear stained eyes back and forth until she asked: "You will not hurt me?"

Kylo gulped down, realizing she was now scared of him which somehow tucked at his heart painfully. He slowly shook his head and panted out: "No Nima. I would never hurt you." Nima nodded and slowly rounded the table, while her eyes still laid on the unconscious Rey until she reached Kylo and stood next to him. She lifted her small hand, interlocked her fingers with Rey's and asked as she looked up to Kylo: "Will Rey die?"  
Kylo inhaled sharply as tears now started to form again in his eyes. "I...I don't know. Nima. I really don't know."  
Nima watched Kylo holding back his tears a while until she also took his hand in her other free one and said:  
"I believe she won't die. She is a Jedi. Jedi never die. Rey is the strongest of them all. You told me that!"

Kylo was a little baffled by what she said and did, but after some seconds he closed his big hand around her in comparison insanely small fingers while also fearing he would crush her hand any second so he just squeezed lightly back to not hurt her.  
He nodded sadly and whispered as he looked into Nima's eyes: "Yes she is the strongest of all."

"Do you want to hug? You can cry. Jedi cry when they are sad." Nima stated just like that.  
That was enough for Kylo to let his tears spill down his face again, as he knelt himself down on the floor and hugged Nima. Normally it was him who comforts this little girl but this time it was her who comforted him. If it was because she reminded him of Rey as a child, or if it was just her own strong personality despite her own losses she endured, he didn't know. But he took comfort in her presence and let her hug him as Rey had done before in the woods when he was grieving his mother's death.

* * *

Poe finally got Chewbacca to go back to his place, so he turned around and looked into the room, where he saw Nima hugging Kylo while both held onto Rey's hand, which was probably one of the most heartbreaking scenes he had ever seen. He didn't want to disturb them so he turned around and forbid the others to go to the room, especially Chewie.  
After some time, the remaining rebels started to clean up the mess Kylo left behind and they decided to shoot Phasma's body into space with one of the old escape pods Maz still had somewhere around her castle. So some of them carried her body out, while Maz guided them to the escape pod.

Poe took Finn aside and had a long talk with him about recent events as Poe thought the former trooper might have developed some kind of feelings for Phasma.  
Luckily Finn told him, that he and Phasma didn't do much more than hugging and kissing, which felt odd and unreal for him, but he thought it was because both were drunken yesterday. She instantly wanted to go to bed when they reached the ship, so they just slept next to each other and nothing had happened. That's why he so easily left her alone in the morning to go to their planned meeting. He was absolutely sure by now, that this was part of her whole act and he even kind of felt bad after he said all these things to Kylo in the heat of the moment. More so over he was disgusted with himself now at how easily he was drawn into Phasma's act.

Poe finally had the feeling he had nearly everything somehow under control again, except of course Rey's condition and this extremely unstable dark side user kneeling beside her. He too was scared as hell to lose Rey, especially after losing Leia just some days ago, which ripped a big hole in his chest and in his will to keep on holding everything together. But he somehow did it and was now on the verge to lose the last spark of hope in the universe.  
So he walked to the doctor who had operated on her and asked: "Is there really no way we can help Rey at all? I know we don't have any good medical technology here.  
Or to be true, pretty much none at all. But I don't know. We have a fucking strong force user over there. Can't you two not kind of work together to save her? With this force magic stuff? Rey is so much stronger than dying from a damn shot to her stomach."

The medic pondered for a second before answering and looked over to the other room: "Yes she is much stronger and special with the force nonetheless.  
She came back to life on her own during the operation, which is a miracle."  
The pilot interrupted: "Wait! It might have been Kylo who did that...I think. While you operated he was outside in the forest in deep meditation. And some minutes before we got the confirmation of you being finished, he woke up and said he did something with their bond. But he didn't know what exactly."

The doctor nodded while he fumbled with his stethoscope around his neck. Then he said: "That's rather interesting. Hmm...You might be right. I don't understand how all this force thing works. It's beyond my knowledge and any of my whole training as a medical expert. Maybe he's able to use this connection for helping her somehow? I know she is able to heal herself and others, which he isn't. She told me one time it's something about the dark and light side thing. About her being able to protect, fix and heal, while he is able to use raw, untamed power.  
Something like that. I still don't understand it, but it's rather interesting." Then he paused for some time and huffed as he understood Poe's gaze.  
"Okay. You expect me to go in there and talk to him. I see. I'll be on my way. Would you shoot off his other fingers when he force chokes me again?"  
Poe raised his eyebrows but in the end, nodded and crossed his arms waiting for the medic to go to Kylo.

He did and walked through the door. Nima was still by Kylo's side and she leaned into him, while both stood in front of Rey and watched her while he stroked her face.  
"Hey Nima! What about you leave us alone for a minute, so I can talk to Kylo? Would you do that for me? It's important, we need to make some plans to save our Jedi girl here okay?"  
Nima nodded and answered: "Sure!" Then turned around to Kylo and bowed to his ear to whisper: "Please don't hurt doctor Javoh. He is nice."  
Kylo patted her head and slightly nodded. Then she walked out and let both men alone as requested. Kylo looked up and waited for the medic to talk, which he did after he crossed his arms in front of his chest: "So I talked to Dameron about your bond. He told me that you did something with it, while I was operating on her. You probably saved her life like that. I can't imagine any other explainable way, her heart would start beating again just like that."

"That's what might have happened. We still don't understand most things within our bond. But apparently, it's not enough to save her." Kylo answered as he looked down in defeat.  
"So you might not be able to heal her, but you are able to lend her your power. I saw you doing it." The doctor asked while he walked to the droid who still supervised Rey's vital functions. Kylo looked up again, with a slight shimmer of curiosity, but also anger in his eyes: "Yes. But you told me to stop! Because it would endanger her."  
"Yes yes. I did. But you could try it again. You pushed so much energy into her, her pulse went up it would seriously have endangered her while I was operating.  
I don't know how to measure it exactly. But if you'd push a little lesser but steadily and do your force bond thing, maybe you are able to stabilize her somehow as her condition is extremely unstable at this moment."

Kylo's eyes widened and his hands immediately began to twitch in anticipation when he heard he could maybe help her. "Maker! We need to try. I'd do anything you say!"  
He instantly stood up and positioned himself next to her head and placed his hand on her temple then uttered with excitement in his voice:  
"Tell me when!"  
The doctor nodded, seemingly surprised at how fast this man switched his emotions from absolute destruction to all overwhelming sadness and then to anticipation and total obedience. He pressed several buttons on the droid which watched Rey's vital signs and then said: "Ok. You can start. But stop if I say so."

Kylo nodded and closed his eyes as he pushed the force through her body, concentrating on doing it in a fleeting way, which was hard with all these different emotions in his head right now. Immediately the droid started beeping and the doctor croaked out: "Keep it down! It's too much!"  
Kylo concentrated more and lowered the amount of energy, which then made it even harder to keep it fluent as he wasn't used at all to have the force fleet through him in a soft and fleeting way, so he had to stay absolutely focused.

The droid stopped beeping furiously and the medic groaned in relief: "Ok. Ok. Keep it like that. Just like that. Don't change anything. It's perfect. She is stable like this."  
Kylo took some time to answer because he feared he'd lose his concentration if he did: "I'll stay here until she is through it."  
The moment he said it his concentration was slightly off as if he was disrupted in a meditation, which made the droid beep again because he pushed too much energy into Rey. So he instantly closed his mouth and bit his lip, as if he had said something wrong and kept his mind on his task again to not get sidetracked.

The doctor watched him with interest for several minutes and found it absolutely fascinating how Kylo was able to stabilize her which gave her a chance of survival right now as her body was able to heal on itself then. After some time observing these two force users his eyes fell on Kylo's hand which was still bleeding from the severed stump which was his ring finger before. "Shall I do something about your finger? It needs treatment."  
Kylo didn't answer and just shook his head. Obviously, he shouldn't be disturbed anymore or his force flow would waver again.  
So the doctor decided to leave and let these two alone, but before he was out of the room completely he whispered: "May the force be with you two:"

When he stepped through the leftover doorframe he wore a grin on his face and the other rebels who sat together looked at him in surprise.  
"Javoh, what happened? Why are you grinning like that?" Poe asked dumbfounded.  
"It seems like we found a way to stabilize Rey through the force. Kylo is pushing his energy into her while he meditates. Obviously, it's a hard process and he is absolutely not to be disturbed as it throws him off balance when somebody talks to him. So I advise you all to keep out, this is her only chance of survival." The doctor answered.

Poe's eyes widened and he wanted to say something, but Finn was faster and blurted out: "So she might survive like that?" he nearly screamed.  
"The chances are much higher like that. I can't promise, it depends on how well he can keep her steady and how strong her willingness for survival is.  
Which is luckily extremely strong by how I know her. We can just put all our hope in the will of the force and this man who is rather trained to kill, not to save."


	50. Chapter 50: Redhead

The hours went by as the rebels tried to calm down after the most recent events. They all hoped Kylo will pull Rey through this and Poe already started to organize several things with Maz and Finn, as pretty much everything they had left is gone with the ship Phasma had sent away with her staged attack.  
So they decided to pay some merchants for tracking the ship down and bring it back with the help of the other rebels. It was likely it hasn't come that far as it would probably not jump into hyperspace without a pilot. Poe would stay as he needed to hold everything together and keep an eye on everybody.

Occasionally the doctor would slip into the room with the two force users to check on her vital signs just to notice that her condition is getting slightly better with each passing hour. But she was still far away from being safe.

In the evening they all went to sleep in the quarters of the castle, but before Poe went to his bed he visited Kylo the first time since he went into his meditative state.  
The pilot circled them both and drew a hand over Rey's hair, but then saw Kylo's hand was slightly trembling the whole time where it was placed next to her temple. It must be exceedingly exhausting for him to keep the force steadily flowing like that. Poe looked up at his face and saw his eyebrows drawn together in deep concentration as he was bowed over her body in a rather unnormal form.  
After some minutes Poe realized that this position must be really uncomfortable and totally fuck up his back and he wondered if he had ever changed his posture since this morning, thirteen hours ago. He obviously hadn't and the pilot then dragged a chair from the wall and positioned it right behind Kylo.  
"Ok big guy. You sit down on this chair now. You don't have to answer, I know it distracts you."  
As soon as the chair was behind Kylo, he plopped down with a groan, never moving his hand from Rey's head.  
The droid started bleeping for some seconds as her pulse went up, but he quickly concentrated again and the flow of his energy went back to normal.

Poe watched him for a minute, then nodded in satisfaction and went out to go to sleep after this extremely long, eventful and exhausting day.

Next morning all the rebels woke up one by one and went down to eat breakfast, or organize some tasks for the day. Poe was busy with collecting all the information about the First Order they had acquired after Kylo told them so much more and kept in contact with the other rebels who were in search of their lost ship, while Finn took a walk outside together with Chewbacca and Nima to calm his mind somehow.

Javoh the doctor visited Rey several times and checked on her and was relieved to see her condition still improving slightly. Kylo's condition, however worsened as his face started looking much paler than it usually does, his hand on her temple started trembling even more and his other hand with the severed finger was covered in dried blood, also the floor next to him, as the blood had obviously been running down next to the chair he was sitting on in some unusual tense way.

Javoh realized Kylo still hadn't moved since last night and he guessed it's even harder to concentrate with every passing hour. So he made sure to not disturb the force user anymore and hoped he would be able to keep on for some hours as Rey still wasn't fully out of the woods by now.  
The day went by and the rebels came back with the good news of being able to locate and even bringing back their lost spaceship, even if it was damaged because of several asteroids crashing onto the outer shell. Which meant nearly everyone had to work on the ship right now, so everybody was busy for the rest of the day.

In the evening Poe repeated the same pattern like the night before, he visited Kylo and Rey before going to bed and watched them some time.  
Then immediately left again as he saw that Kylo had trouble concentrating and was throughout exhausted. If he kept on doing this, Poe was sure Kylo would pass out after some time or just drop dead. He hoped he would not, until Rey was safe. Also, the stump of his severed finger started turning violet which wasn't too good as the doctor told him. But both of them didn't dare to disturb Kylo as they knew he was the one pulling Rey through.

On the third day after the attack, the doctor made his routine check and after running a diagnostic with his droid, saw that Rey was stable and probably in the state of being left healing on her own. Kylo however looked like a ghost, dark-rimmed eyes, pale as paper and his whole body was shivering with exhaustion. It was now hour sixty-two since the force user started pushing his energy into Rey.  
He instantly darted out and called Poe into the room, who came running in with worry in his eyes as he didn't know why he was summoned.  
"So I got really good news. Kylo, I know you can hear me too. Rey is stable and out of danger. You can let her go and rest. You absolutely need it."  
Poe looked excited and with teary eyes at the doctor and gasped at his words, then pumped a fist in the air and yelled: "Fuck yes! You two fucking did it!"  
Then bowed down to Rey and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Some seconds afterwards Kylo's eyes snapped open, he inhaled extremely loud and deep, then pulled his hand away from Rey's temples. He looked like a total mess, his eyes were red and they were unfocused. He instantly jumped up and took a step forward, but then groaned and crashed face down onto the floor. Poe and the doctor didn't expect that and slid down next to him, to pull him up again. He was conscious but so exhausted he couldn't walk or stand or even talk too much. "Ok, buddy what do you want to do first? Take a piss? Sleep? Shower? Eat?"

Kylo just mumbled: "Sleep." So Poe and Jovah dragged him up the stairs, which was pretty hard as he was easily two heads bigger than both men and obviously much heavier. Some other rebels saw them heaving Kylo through the room and asked if they could help but the men just grunted a strained: "No." whilst they brought him into the sleeping quarters. They placed him on a bed and he just groaned out: "Maker." seemingly relieved of being in another position than standing or sitting after all these hours.

The doctor immediately ran down the stairs again and fetched some medical supplies whilst Poe tried to give Kylo something to drink.  
Kylo heaved up his trembling hand to the glass and it immediately dropped down after the pilot let go, so it shattered into hundreds of splinters on the ground. "Whoops. Guess you are really done for. I'll get a new one." Poe stood up and got a new glass, while he was shoving the shards away from the bed with his feet.  
"So here it is. I'll hold the glass, you drink. If this doesn't work I'll get a straw or some shit."  
Kylo shoved his head forward and let Poe help him. He was totally content with his help as he felt he was on the verge of dying from thirst because he didn't drink for nearly three days now.

After he gulped down everything and got a second glass full of water he was finally able to speak again and he grinned drowsily at Poe:  
"Thanks. Maker! The chair was my salvation. I couldn't stand anymore."  
"Yeah thought so." Poe grinned back.  
"Need to ask you someday too to marry me, alongside Rey." Kylo joked with a dreamy gaze like he was on drugs.  
The pilot now laughed out loud at this and had to hold his belly, because he knew the man in front of him was talking nonsense from exhaustion.  
"Oh I gotta disappoint you, but I'm not into dudes with black hair. But thanks for the proposal anyways! I'm more into redheads, you know.  
Your former colleague, Hux was a hottie, at least when he still had his head." he answered as he made a gesture of cutting through his neck with his thumb.

"Hux was an asshole. But the mechanic FA-7869 had red hair and was a pretty nice guy. You would have liked him..." Kylo mumbled as he closed his eyes again and drifted to sleep, or was unconscious or something in between.  
Poe snorted with laughter again at the sleepy, overly exhausted Kylo Ren who was first making some kind of proposal and then trying to set him up with a stormtrooper.  
He had never seen him like that and found it to be extremely funny.

The medic came up the stairs again with his bag and some medical equipment in his hands. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the shattered glass on the floor and the unmoving form of Kylo Ren, as well as the laughing pilot.  
Then he kneeled down next to the bed and pulled up Kylo's arm, which immediately fell down again.  
"Yup. Thought so. He's out cold from exhaustion. So I am gonna give him some injections and try cleaning and disinfecting his severed finger.  
Did he attack you, or why is this glass broken?" Javoh asked.  
Poe laughed again: "Oh no, not at all. He's like a puppy and talked nonsense. He was too weak to hold the glass himself and it fell down.  
Don't have too be scared, he's not able to do anything at all right now."

The doctor nodded and pulled up the sleeve of Kylo's arm to inject him several shots. Then he took his hand with the dried blood all over the skin and pulled out some disinfection wipes which he rubbed over the palm and carefully over the stump. It started bleeding again and Kylo moaned slightly but didn't move an inch. "Yup...yup.  
We gotta cut off some more bone tomorrow." Yovah mumbled while bandaging the finger.  
"What? Why?" Poe asked as he watched him work.  
"Because your shot burst the bone open and it's splintered all over the place. It needs a clean cut to heal. This shit must hurt like hell." the doctor answered while he injected a local anaesthesia into his finger.  
"Oh okay. I'll try not to shoot him again. Or do it cleaner next time." The pilot joked.

When the doctor was done he nodded at Poe and left the room as he wished him a good night.  
The pilot was left behind with Kylo Ren and went to his own bed as he decided to be there if the force user needed something. He knew Finn was downstairs with Rey already, so if she decided to wake up this night none of them would be alone and could get help immediately.  
After some minutes he too drifted peacefully asleep, the first night since the attack on Rey without horrifying nightmares haunting him of her dying in her sleep.

Really early in the morning, about two hours earlier then he would usually stand up, Poe was awakened by a really loud bang on the floor.  
He turned his head around with widened eyes, to see Kylo Ren lying face down on the ground, groaning in annoyance. The pilot jumped up and started to run over,  
but already saw him getting up on his feet by himself while he held his head and still groaned.  
"You alright buddy?" Poe asked a little worried.  
Kylo turned his head around slowly and eyed the pilot with eyes squeezed together in concentration while he leaned himself against the wall behind him.  
Then he mumbled: "Urgh. Yeah...Maker my head. It's killing me. I need a shower."

"Okay. If you don't come back in an hour I'll look after you. Don't get unconscious again." Poe warned him.  
Kylo nodded and stumbled into the corridor in the direction of the bathroom. He undressed clumsily and shed his clothes everywhere on the ground.  
Then he stepped into the fresher and turned the water on in the coldest setting, as he wanted to get his head clear again from all this exhausting, force draining meditation he did over the last days. He sat down on the ground of the fresher as the water rinsed down on him. Then he closed his eyes and messaged Rey through his bond, hoping she would maybe already be able to answer again. Of course, she didn't, as she was still unconscious, but at least he was able to feel her force signature fluently again.

He grinned weakly at the thought of Rey waking up soon and seeing her smile again. Then he imagined how the small freckles on her nose wrinkle slightly together when she laughs and how her eyes beam with amazement when she sees things she likes or sees for the first time.  
He chuckled slightly at the thought of this and pulled up his hand as it seemed to burn. Just now he realized his hand was bandaged and one finger seemed much shorter than the other ones. For a moment he didn't understand why, but then it all came back as he remembered Poe shot him when he attacked Finn and Phasma.  
For a second he became angry, which faded as fast as it came because he realized the pilot obviously did exactly what Kylo told him to do if he snaps.  
So he shrugged his shoulder, put down his hand again and let the cold water wash upon him for some minutes as he closed his eyes and leaned his head against the wall to let the last days wash away and look forward to Rey waking up again.

When he finally felt refreshed, his headache was mostly gone and he was able to stand up again, he went out and dried himself. He realized he didn't bring any new clothes, so he decided to get back to the sleeping quarters to get fresh ones. When he opened the bathroom door he found a new pile of clothes in front of it and knew immediately Poe placed them there.  
Kylo smiled slightly at the thought of Poe being like some kind mother to all of them, trying to keep the moral upright and for everyone to feel safe and loved.  
He was an insanely good leader and Kylo knew he had to thank him big time for all he did these last days.

When he was finally dressed and feeling more like himself again, he went down the stairs only to find Poe sipping on his morning coffee while reading a holo-pad.  
"Oi hey there! Feeling better?" he asked.  
Kylo nodded and answered sarcastically: "Yeah after your motherly care I feel much better. Thanks."  
Poe grinned widely and answered: "You are welcome! Coffee?"  
"No." Kylo answered shortly, as he went over and made himself a cup of tea at the bar which was still empty because it was so early.  
"You still know what you babbled yesterday in your exhausted condition?" Poe chortled at him.

Kylo closed his eyes for some seconds and tried to remember. Then his face distorted slightly as he indeed remembered, so he opened his eyes again:  
"Yup. I do. But sorry I have to take that back, Rey is the one. But you're surely the second choice if she'd ever say no." Kylo joked while he ruffled through Poe's hair for a second as he passed by and went into the room with Finn and Rey with the tea in his hand.  
Poe snorted as he knew this was probably the hugest thank you gesture he would ever receive by Kylo Ren and that this man was not known at all to make jokes or even body contact with anyone else except for Rey. So he kept reading his holo-pad with amusement and anticipation, looking forward to his small family being reunited soon when Rey finally wakes up again.

When Kylo entered the room he saw Finn sitting on a chair, head leaning against the wall, snoring loudly. He was slightly unnerved by his presence, but well the former trooper was watching over her, so it this was kind of okay he is there, he thought.  
When he took his first look at Rey's face he couldn't help but smile. She had some colour on her face again and her hands didn't feel so cold anymore when he touched them.  
He let the force flow through her and was immediately reassured that she was indeed finally getting better.

So he sat down next to the table and silently sipped on his tea while he brushed her hand as he again talked through their bond to her.  
After some time Finn's snoring got louder and then abruptly stopped. Kylo turned around to watch the former trooper wake up.  
He blinked at him until he saw who it was and jumped up instantly, hissing out: "You!"

"I'm not going to hurt you. Sorry I did before." Kylo shot out, as he didn't know what's going on in Finn's mind right now and he didn't have the nerve nor the strength to fight back.  
Finn shook his head then and rubbed his eyes as he wasn't completely awake yet. "No...No...Sorry. I am sorry I said those things to you. I didn't know what had happened.  
I would have done the same had I known it before. Or even crueller things actually. I am sorry these things happened to Rey."  
Kylo plainly answered: "Ok. Apology accepted."  
"I am gonna leave you two alone now." Finn said as he left through the door which was finally back in its doorframe.  
Kylo nodded and laid his head on the table next to Rey, as he still felt utterly exhausted and sleepy. So he closed his eyes and rested for a while entwining his fingers with hers, feeling so much relief flowing through his veins, knowing she was safe right now.

Several hours later he was woken up by the presence of the doctor, standing in front of him, fumbling on the medical droid. Kylo set himself upright and greeted him,  
but instantly asked after Rey's condition. Javoh updated him on everything and even had the assumption of her waking up the next few which let a smile cross Kylo's lips.  
"So we still need to take care of your finger, We need to severe it further down to your hand. Doesn't it hurt like shit?"  
Kylo looked at his hand, then back to the doctor. "It burns." He simply stated.  
"Okay, then let's go out and cut the crushed part cleanly off. Then it can finally start to heal properly. But I gotta warn you, I just got local anaesthesia here, can't put you into general narcosis as I would normally do it." The doctor explained.

Kylo just shrugged his shoulders, as he didn't care, he had worse and stood up as he followed the doctor outside. Poe helped Javoh to prepare another table for this much smaller operation, while he apologized to Maz who came down from her quarters, for using parts of her castle as an infirmary.  
She just waved at him lazily and answered: "Oh child, we did even worse stuff in here already. This is nothing."  
While Poe asked her out about what she exactly meant sensing some big stories coming up, Kylo sat down and got the first injections of anaesthesia into his hand.  
Which was quite nice as the unnerving burning feeling was finally gone which he felt for three days by now

After Poe was done bickering with Maz, he and Finn sat several seats away and watched Kylo and Javoh preparing the operation. Some other rebels had also woken up and came down the stairs now, realizing Kylo was awake again and was now the one being operated on. So they greeted them and the others and sat as far away as possible as they didn't want to disturb anything.

The doctor took off the bandage from his hand and cleaned the finger again. This was the first time Kylo took a real look at his hand and saw how ripped open his finger actually looked like. It was like he had stuck his finger into the running blade of a mixer.  
"Poe this looks like bantha shit." Kylo commented as he glanced over to the pilot.  
Poe shrugged his shoulders and stared over at him, but had to turn away again as it really looked horrible, while Finn tried not to barf.  
"Sorry man, you told me to do it. Be happy it's just your finger, not your whole hand. Didn't like every Skywalker in your family lose a hand at some time?  
Guess you got lucky." the pilot answered sarcastically.

The doctor started cutting slowly through his finger now and it made extremely ugly noises as he severed the bones. Finn instantly held both hands above his ears in shock and looked away to not faint from this. The other rebels looked horrified or slightly disgusted at the procedure and listened to Poe talk.  
"Ok nearly done, nearly done. Just need to cauterize it right now." The doctor mumbled after he was all the way through with the bone saw.  
Kylo watched the blood seep out freely onto the table and was slightly surprised at the speed of the blood streaming out as he didn't think fingers would bleed that much in such a short amount of time.  
Just when the doctor started to apply the cauterizer on the stump, the door to the operation room flew open and Rey stood in the doorframe with a disgruntled face.

"Maker. Kylo What are you doing with your finger?" She yelled at him.  
Kylo's eyes widened in shock and he instantly pulled his hand away from the doctor and jumped up watching Rey with an open mouth, as he hadn't expected her to wake up today and then even stand up already.

"Rey...?" he breathed out with his eyes fixed onto hers. He stepped forward some steps.  
"Kylo. Your finger! What the fuck?" She repeated. Then she saw his the leftover stump and all the blood flowing out of it onto the floor next to his leg, where he stood.  
He took some more steps forward, as he couldn't believe she just stood there like nothing had happened these last days.  
"Maker. Kylo your finger. Where...Where the hell is your finger? It's gone! What the hell did you do?" she asked absolutely confused and terrified right now as she watched the small puddles of blood he left where he walked towards her.  
He now stood directly in front of Rey and looked at her like he hadn't seen her since years as tears started forming in his eyes. She didn't understand quite anything what was happening right now, so she just kept on asking, but became quieter with every second as she saw Kylo's face distort into a mixture of crying and smiling which was extremely unsettling as she didn't know why he did that.

One last time he whispered with ragged, excited breathing as he closed the gap between them: "Rey...?" And then crushed his lips forward onto hers, with such a loving intensity she barely got a second to breathe. When he pulled back, she inhaled sharply as she was already getting dizzy from the lack of air in her lungs. While she again asked him what happened he just started planting kisses all over her face while whispering over and over how much he loves her. He cupped her face between both his hands and told her how sorry and how scared he was and again how much he loved her and that he is so insanely relieved she came back and how she is the strongest woman in the galaxy while smearing blood all over her face from his bleeding finger.

She still didn't understand what the fuck had happened, that made him react like that, so she just tried to calm him down by embracing him, which he instantly gave back full heartily but in an awkward angle from the side like he tried to avoid her belly.  
She pushed him away slightly and now looked the first time since she stood up downwards to her stomach and lifted her shirt slightly to see all these bacta patches placed on her skin.  
Rey gulped down and looked around as she saw Finn, Poe, the doctor and several other rebels sitting around watching them as some cried or grinned.  
Then her gaze wandered back to Kylo and she stared at his beautiful but now teary hazel brown eyes as she realized he seemed to be extremely distraught.

"Kylo what happened to me?"


	51. Chapter 51: Memory

"Kylo what happened to me?"

Rey asked him as she examined her stomach with the bacta gauze all around it, realizing just now that her muscles in her whole body ached insanely and her head felt dizzy.  
Obviously, she was hurt somehow before she woke up. To which extent and why and how long she was out by now, she didn't know.  
But judging by the faces Kylo, Finn and Poe were making right now, her situation was pretty serious.  
Kylo looked at her in bewilderment, but then rubbed his forehead as if he remembered something and had problems to find words.  
"Of course. You can't remember. You were shot." he simply stated without explaining it further.

"Oh...Ok..." she stuttered out.  
Rey looked now back and forth between Kylo, the doctor, Finn and Poe and scrunched her eyebrows together as she knew something bad must have happened, so she started babbling out all these questions which were storming through her mind after being told she was shot.  
"How? By whom? When? How long was I out? Was there a fight? Is everybody else okay? How bad was it? Why is your finger missing?"

The doctor interrupted them: "Ok. Stop. Stop! I suggest I'll cauterize Kylo's finger first as it's bleeding all over again. Then we check up on your current condition.  
You being awake and more so over walking around is extremely delightful, but we have to make sure your body is already capable of doing so.  
I think I don't need to tell you to not pull such stunts as your boyfriend likes to do, so hold back for some weeks and don't move too much. After your check-up, you two might want to go to a quiet place for some time, as gaining back your memory might be rather traumatizing for you. Kylo can explain the best, or show you everything that has taken place these last days. In my opinion, he has most of the knowledge about recent events and of course, you two have the strongest connection with this bond of yours."

Rey started getting nervous. What could have happened that was so traumatizing for her? She was able to walk, or to be true, stumble around, even when she felt incredibly weak and had intensely aching muscles, but something fatal must have happened because everybody was tiptoeing around that topic. So she huffed and nodded in acknowledgement.  
"Ok whatever happened. I'll take my time. Now make Kylo stop bleeding please."

Kylo and the doctor sat down again, as Rey sat next to him and leaned weakly on his shoulder while watching the doctor cauterize his finger. Rey hissed for a second from the phantom pain she received through their bond, while Kylo and the medic simultaneously apologized for it. The air started to smell like burned flesh which Rey found to be extremely disgusting but it wasn't the first time she smelled it, so she just endured it.  
She squeezed Kylo's other free hand as if she wanted to reassure him, but he didn't look like he was in pain at all so it might have been useless.

She was still wondering how he lost it and thought that he maybe fought and cut it off accidentally himself with these small side beams of his lightsaber. Then she remembered that he is so well trained with his lightsaber, that would actually be the last thing that would ever happen to him. When they were done, the doctor wound some bacta-gaze around his finger and then turned around to Rey.  
Kylo flexed his fingers and tried out if everything worked like it should be, seemed to be satisfied with the result and obviously not as shocked about losing a limb as Rey was. "Maker, Kylo I think I have to get used to it more than you have to."  
Rey commented as she took his hand and brushed her thumb around the bandaged severed part without directly putting pressure on the cauterized wound.  
"It's nothing. Really. It won't disturb my fighting or anything else." He commented as he squeezed her hand reassuringly which send a warm flow of energy through her.  
She didn't know why it bugged her so much he lost a finger. It's not that she found it disturbing or anything alike, more like there was less of Kylo now, something she liked was missing. Even if he had nine fingers left. She knew these thoughts were foolish and he didn't seem to mind it, but she had to get used to it.

"It's your turn." Kylo then grinned at her and planted a small kiss on her lips as he stood up to leave some space for the doctor to check on her injuries.  
Javoh pretty much just scanned her wound and her vital signs with his droid, while dictating medical terms to the holo-pad he held in his hands.  
Then he held the stethoscope to her heart and told her to stop breathing until he released her. She inhaled deeply and waited.

When he allowed her to breathe again, he nodded and said: "Yup, your wound is healing incredibly well after all, you seem pretty stable. That's a really good sign.  
As your doctor, I prescribe you at least three days bed rest, no alcohol, no moving around too much, no training, no showering, just applying water to the other areas of your body to not disturb the healing process under the gaze, and obviously no intercourse.  
Also, you'll get daily injections of painkillers for the remaining days and afterwards you can try to heal yourself with via force healing when you feel well enough.  
You are an extremely strong person Rey! Glad to have you back."

Rey smiled weakly and nodded, acknowledging the instructions. By now there was nothing more she wanted right now than being alone with Kylo and finally getting told what had happened. Kylo seemed to feel it, as he instantly fetched his cape and draped it over her shoulders. Then he pressed her forward slightly, motioning to go out of the room with her. Poe and Finn had patiently waited through Kylo's and Rey's reunion as well for her check-up, but now as she walked towards them, they couldn't wait anymore and instantly started hugging her too and telling her how happy they are she is back with them.  
Obviously, everyone was pretty scared that she wouldn't wake up again and she could only imagine what had happened.  
Her mood hit rock-bottom and she assumed the worst. At least none of her close friends got hurt.

They went out of the castle together and were alone. Finally. He had an arm around her waist and guided her to the cliff some meters away from the front yard between the leftover brick walls, which were shot down last time the First Order attacked. She had to lean on him, as she just now felt how really weak she actually was.  
Rey didn't know that she was so weak before when she woke up some minutes ago. But the adrenaline kick she got from the phantom pain, when Kylo's finger was cauterized was probably responsible for her to be able to just stand up and walk around for a minute like nothing had happened.  
"It was bad, wasn't it?" she asked Kylo, while they reached the cliff. He stilled for some seconds, then answered: "Yes it was."  
They were in front of a beautiful lake and Rey saw the small waves on the surface from the soft breeze that surrounded them and she remembered where the Falcon was parked just on the other side of the lake last time. Then she grimaced slightly as the Falcon was destroyed meanwhile, to be exact - by her and it's former owner was dead.

Kylo pulled her down on the ground with him, where he sat behind her, his legs straddled around her thighs as he embraced her fully from behind and draped the cape around her even more, so she looked like some kind of burrito.  
She felt extremely secure in this rolled together state and his full embrace from behind, so she leaned back into his chest and tried to relax her muscles, feeling his body heat engulf her completely.

"So do you want to see it, or should I tell?" he asked her as he laid his head on her shoulder, while his hands were placed on her thighs.  
"Can I reach into your mind?" she asked him as she turned her head around slightly to see him better.  
"Sure." he said and closed his eyes. She just leaned her head against his and started prying into his mind softly as her eyelids fluttered closed too.  
He didn't even know she could do that without placing her hand against his temple, so he was slightly surprised and felt it be extremely intimate and not forceful.

They stayed in this position for several minutes as he felt how she sorted through his memories of these last days.  
After some time she whispered: "Damn...Phasma shot me? Why?". He didn't answer as she kept rummaging through his mind.  
"Oh my heart stopped beating. Okay. Wow. Didn't expect it to be that bad. Then we both died one time each and came back from the dead I guess." she mumbled as she kept on prying into his mind. He chuckled barely audible.

Several more moments went by, but then she gasped, opened her eyes in shock and ripped her head away from him as she touched her stomach.  
Rey gasped and held her breath: "I...I...Maker...I carried a child? I...It was our child! Kylo...Oh no." She stuttered as her palms brushed over her abdomen several times and her voice started to break. Then she glanced up at him with tears in her eyes and she seemed broken. "It's...dead." she stammered out as her body started shaking.

"I am sorry." he simply stated and entwined both his hands with her fingers as he positioned them together with hers lightly on her stomach as he let the force flow through it in a reassuring way.  
She was overwhelmed by his gentleness and pressed her entwined fingers into his as both their hands stayed on her lower abdomen, where the embryo was before it was cruelly taken from her.

"It's not...It's not that I wanted to have children. Not right now at least. And really, I swear I didn't know or feel it before.  
But my... _our_ choice being taken away from us like that if we want to have this child or not... Maker. It hurts. I would have loved it endlessly."

Kylo's lips began trembling as he felt how much it hurt her and that she practically just said that she would have carried his child without any second thoughts about him,  
his bloodline, the darkness he inherited, or anything else that revolves around him which is mostly destructive.  
"Rey I would have accepted any choice you would have made. But yes, my love for it would have been eternal too, like it is to you." he answered as he held her trembling form. She smiled with teary eyes as she heard his confession. He still didn't know, nor believed it but she was still hundred percent sure he would have been the best father in the galaxy and would never make the same mistakes as Han and Leia did to him, when he was a child.  
Then she got some kind of bad feeling and brushed her fingers against her stomach until panic slightly rose up her spine. "But...it's not like we couldn't do this again?  
I mean. Not now of course. But I could still get pregnant at a time of our choice again. Can't I?" she looked at him with a glimmer of hope in her eyes and a forced smile.

Kylo closed his eyes as he knew since days she would ask exactly that and he was scared to answer as he knew she would be devastated. When he opened them again,  
he answered:  
"I am sorry. You can't. Your tissue is too scarred after the blaster shot. I immediately asked the doctor about it, after he diagnosed your wound.  
He said it won't be possible ever again."  
"Ok." she just breathed out and turned her head away suddenly. Nothing happened then for a while and Kylo wondered if it wasn't as bad as he thought it would be for her.  
But then she started to bitterly weep in such a loud way he flinched back as he was pretty startled at this sudden outburst.  
"Oh Rey...You are not alone." he whispered into her neck as he immediately embraced her as much as he was able to without crushing her small form between his arms.  
She cried into him and he felt his sleeves getting wet from her tears. Obviously, she dearly wished for children sometime later in her life and it ripped out his heart for her dreams to be crushed like that. They stayed like that for what felt forever as he held her the whole time she was crying.

When all her tears were shed and she had calmed down slightly, she wore a frown and leaned her head against his again and whispered out:  
"I'll keep on looking if you don't mind."  
"Sure. Take your time and stop if it's too much." he answered and closed his eyes again.  
He knew she would now see how he killed Phasma and attacked Finn and he flinched slightly at that thought as he hoped, she would not be traumatized anymore by this.  
"Oh...Maker Kylo...Finn...Oh no. That's cruel. But it's not like I don't know that side of you.  
Oh...Poe? He shot off your finger? Wow okay. That's what happened...Your eyes...they were yellow again."  
She commented everything she saw like she was watching a video from a holo tape, mumbling out the words without forming whole sentences.  
"You wouldn't have killed Finn back then, would you?" She asked. Kylo gulped down and answered after some seconds. "He is alive."  
"That's not what I asked." She pouted as she opened her eyes and looked at him.  
"I pried in his mind and saw, that he didn't do it so I didn't kill him. That should be enough for an answer."

She understood what he was underlying with that sentence. He would have definitely killed Finn if he had found out it was him. Of course, she knew Finn would never do such a deed but Kylo was not friends with him and had a deep mistrust with practically everyone except for Rey and in this case fatally Phasma.  
She closed her eyes again and kept searching through his head, seeing how the doctor told him, that she probably wouldn't survive the night and how Kylo pushed his energy into her for three consecutive days without rest to save her.

In the end, she saw the scene how he saw her standing in the doorframe and that's where she stopped looking into his mind, as it was the most recent event.  
Her head turned around and she locked her eyes onto his.  
"Stars. Kylo you saved my life...Again." Rey shifted slightly between his embrace and now turned her whole body into his direction as she cupped his face.  
"Thank you for everything. I love you so much. I can't even find words for how much I do. Our bond is the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me.  
No, _you_ are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I am so unbelievably glad we are both still alive. I know exactly how you must have felt over the span of these three days. I had the same feeling when you died by the knight's hand, but back then your condition was just unsure for several minutes and I knew you'd survive. Maker, this must have been like torture for you."

He laid his forehead against hers and said: "I certainly don't know anything else that would drive me into absolute madness, than the thought of you dying."

"Let's...not die anymore. For now. I can't bear more of this right now. I think I would like to have some more time with you before we dive into action again, killing Snoke, or at least trying it. Maybe...maybe we should head back to Ahch-To right away. Just the two of us. I think after all these attacks on the first and then the second rebel base, your sacrifice, the death of Leia, the attack on my life and kind of everything that happened these last weeks. It's too much. Ahch-To was the only place where I felt safe with you actually. Nobody knows about this planet. We planned on reading the sacred Jedi texts anyways and I could use so much more training before we could even think about facing the First Order let alone Snoke. Do you not you feel extremely exhausted by all of this? I mean emotionally? I certainly do." She babbled out as her eyes searched his.

Kylo pondered about everything she just said. Did he feel exhausted? His life was pretty much a rollercoaster of cruel events, leading from one insane event to another,  
for as long as he can remember. He never cared about it too much, as he always had to keep on going to not be killed or his traitorous thoughts about Snoke to be revealed,  
which ultimately would have led to his death too.  
He never took a moment to rest or ease down with his life, nor ask himself if he ever needed a break. But now he had this wonderful woman in his arms and the only thing he could think of was to be as far away from everything with her as possible, to live every day without fear of her being hurt or being killed and just have as much time with her as he wishes without being chased by their enemies.

So - Yes he was exhausted. He was exceedingly and utterly exhausted from these last years. From his whole life actually.  
Maybe he needed some time of peace, before this impending huge fight against Snoke.

* * *

 **You know what I liked most about this chapter?**  
 **Burrito Rey!**


End file.
